4 days ago
The Underrated Power of Aunts in Raising Strong, Confident Girls
The right aunt can make a young girl feel safe, seen, and loved exactly as she is.
When I became an aunt I found out in the most unexpected way, through a frantic mid-workday phone call from my brother, his voice trembling with equal parts excitement and fear. I ducked into a private room, heart racing, and joined a video call to see him and his wife in the hospital. She smiled and said calmly, "She's coming." In that moment, I didn't know what kind of aunt I'd be, but I knew I wanted to show up.
Since then, I've learned so much—how to cradle a newborn just right, how to make the tiniest moments feel big, and how to be present even when I'm not the one doing the day-to-day parenting.
I didn't have a blueprint for being an aunt, but I quickly learned how much my presence mattered. And according to Steve Biddulph, psychologist and author of Raising Girls and 10 Things Girls Need Most, aunts play a crucial role in the lives of girls.
The Special Role of Aunts
On ABC's Parental as Everything podcast, Biddulph explained that girls often need someone aside from their parents to turn to, especially during the tricky phases in adolescence when they may be reluctant to speak to their primary caregivers but still need to be heard.
"They don't want to listen to you, but they still need lots of help," he said. That's where an aunt, or an aunt-like figure, comes in. According to Biddulph, an aunt can offer a less emotionally charged, more approachable ear, free of the pressure a child might feel from their parent.
Biddulph even mentions that aunts don't need to be related by blood to hold this special role, he describes anyone who is "around your [parent's] age who loves you too" as being capable of providing this necessary support. These women, Biddulph says, are "pillars of mental health for girls."
Building Bonds Early
Biddulph encourages parents to nurture the child-aunt relationship early, before the teen years, so that trust and closeness are already in place when life gets complicated.
Australian parenting author and Parental as Everything host Maggie Dent, agrees. She points out that young people today face immense mental and emotional pressures, making it essential to have caring adults beyond parents to turn to. Research supports this, too, sometimes just one consistent, caring adult can positively change a child's life.
Ultimately, aunts, by blood or bond, can provide trust, emotional refuge, and guidance during moments where girls might feel misunderstood or overwhelmed.
And one day, when my niece is old enough to navigate her own teenage storms, I hope she'll remember the woman who once answered a frantic phone call in the middle of the workday just to see her arrive in the world, and know she can always call me, too.
Read the original article on Parents
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