Latest news with #SteveHartman
Forbes
09-04-2025
- Business
- Forbes
How To Show Up For Your Employees Without Becoming Their Therapist
It's my outlet for every negative thing Remember the days when work was work and personal life was personal and never the two shall meet? Those days are long gone, and in fact, that was never reality anyway. Effective leaders now understand that employees don't park their humanity at the office door when they come to work. True leadership is about empowering your team to perform—and that means understanding what makes each person tick. Patrick Morrissey, CEO of Altify and a former client, shared in a video interview, "You ideally build a diverse team and then figure out what makes them different and unique, so you can put them in situations that allow them to bring their best to the organization, the team and themselves.' While building a personal connection with employees has always been important to loyalty and engagement, conversations at work have become more intense than in the past. Previously off-limit topics, such as mental health, are now talked about more openly, which is a good thing. 'Personal fulfillment has become much more of a topic and something that's open in general conversation,'says Steve Hartman, advisor and former client who has held senior executive and c-suite roles at eBay, Eddie Bauer and Urban Outfitters, in a video interview. 'It's broken down a number of work life boundaries that have existed before.' In his view, this can offer a better way to increase buy-in and engagement, and can be more rewarding as well for leaders who can connect to employees but still maintain boundaries. "The pandemic crystallized the need for strategic HR and the fragility of the human experience,' Gianna Driver, advisor and former chief human resources officer of Lattice and Exabeam, shared in an interview. "We're living in a world where leaders have to honor the humanity that makes employees people and also lead through a time of continued, rapid-scale change.' Various studies show that empathy boosts performance, engagement and innovation, not to mention retention and loyalty. Just one example: A Catalyst study compared results between employees who stated their leaders are highly empathic - defined by this study as 'a leader who demonstrates, care, concern, and understanding for employee's life circumstances' - versus those whose leaders are not. The findings show that those with empathic leaders are more engaged (67% versus 24%), are able to be more innovative (61% versus 13%) at work and can better balance work priorities with personal obligations (86% versus 60%). But what does that empathetic leadership look like in practice? And where do you draw the line? Are leaders now expected to be therapists? Definitely not. Leadership strategist Lianne Davey, New York Times bestselling author of You First: Inspire Your Team to Grow Up, Get Along, and Get Stuff Done and The Good Fight: Use Productive Conflict to Get Your Team and Organization Back on Track, writes: 'It's not your role to try to provide psychological assistance or to be ready to lead your employee through a session of cognitive-behavioral therapy. You're not trained for that, and even if you were, there are some lines that are worth keeping in the workplace.' In fact, empathetic leadership and professional therapy are two very different things. Learning who someone is, what motivates them and how to be a good listener does not even come close to therapy. According to a phone interview with psychotherapist Dr. Adam Dorsay, author of Superpsyched and host of the Superpsyched podcast, 'Professional therapy goals are patient-defined rather than performance-defined, and it's a very singular relationship. I am someone's therapist, and we are nothing else to each other to avoid a conflict of interest.' We should not confuse making an emotional connection and caring about how personal issues impact performance with licensed therapy. So, how can a leader discern the line between empathetic support that motivates individuals and creates a healthy environment, and getting sucked into uncomfortable situations they are not equipped for? Leaders are there to deliver results and work toward a particular organizational mission. They are there to mentor future leaders, foster innovation, and creatively problem-solve to meet objectives. Within that scope, there is room for personal connection and empathy. Tracy Eiler, chief marketing officer of OpenSesame and co-founder of Women in Revenue, leans on empathy to create high-performing teams; it's how she grew up as the oldest of seven children, learning to take care of a diverse group with different needs and personalities. While she makes intentional efforts to get to know her team and provide whatever support they need, she is crystal clear on the job she is there to do. And it is not to be their therapist. It is to drive growth and performance. 'As leaders, we can hold our teams accountable and still be encouraging. I find my own performance responds so much better to encouragement than the fear that so many executives seem to lean on,' she wrote in an email interview. 'But being encouraging doesn't mean you can't and shouldn't tell someone, 'your skills aren't strong enough' or 'I need you to learn to be more succinct when speaking with leadership.'' It's important for leaders to be patient, listen, and show empathy but to be very clear on what employees are accountable for. Beyond connecting and engaging at a personal level, leaders owe it to their teams and organizations to help their teams understand that, with mutual accountability, everyone can play their part to get things done. 'The litmus test for me is when empathy for one team member causes me to be unempathetic to the rest of the team, and distracts from the overall job at hand,' offers Hartman. He shared a situation where a team member's mother was in hospice, and despite support, the work was slipping and negatively impacting everyone else. "That's where you need to get HR involved and figure out how to move forward rather than solve this by simply being an empathetic manager.' Speaking of which… Your HR team is not there just to push benefits paperwork. They should be equipped and trained to help you handle tough people scenarios. 'I've found that throughout my career, it's been very helpful to have a strong relationship with our head of HR,' says Hartman, 'and not just calling them only when there's an issue, but talking openly about how the organization is doing, getting their feedback from what they're hearing.' Creating that relationship makes it easier to get them involved when the stakes are high. You need to know when it's time to bring in more experienced support after encouraging and listening to your employee. Hartman suggests saying something like, "Hey, I really appreciate you sharing this with me. But I think this might be bigger than just you and me working on it. We might be able to get more support and help from HR or our employee assistance program.' Experienced HR leaders can coach you through delicate situations outside of your expertise. For example, Driver shared she has been in situations with employees going through a gender transition, and the leader had no idea how to support their direct report. "The leader came to HR, and we coached her in how to engage with her direct report, provide the employee support during the transition and also connect the employee with external resources and a support group for people with gender dysphoria going through a transition,' Driver said. Remember, you are also human. Driver encourages, "When balancing performance with support, we may not have all the answers or be right all the time. It's okay. Be clear about what you're hearing the person say, and if you feel this is an area beyond your level of comfort or experience, it's okay to let the person know you're listening and, as much as you'd like to help, that's not your area of expertise and you'd like to engage with HR to help them further.' Understand the line where empathetic leadership crosses into something outside of your expertise. When that line is blurry, many leaders get overwhelmed and flustered. Prepare yourself by understanding exactly what your company offers—employee assistance programs, resource groups, mental health benefits, paid leave—and how to access them. This puts you in a better position to first listen and then guide employees to resources better equipped to help them. Eiler shares that one of the downsides of her "big sister' style is that she will often hear about very personal things—everything from spousal conflicts to infertility to terminal illness with a family member, even domestic violence. In those situations, she advises leaders to always listen, check in on their support network, make sure they know of all the benefits available to them through the company and encourage time off. 'I think the key is my job is to 'action' the situation, not just listen. Do I still worry about them? Yes. Am I super tuned in to non-verbals and team vibe? Yes. But do I feel overwhelmed? No. It's real life,' she says. You can action situations without getting pulled in beyond your own abilities by checking in with employees and not taking on all the burdens yourself, but directing them to available resources. If your company has a gap in what it is able to offer employees, Driver suggests crowdsourcing a list of external resources, whether they are online, free or paid, and posting them on an intranet or internal wiki. AI can he helpful here, to sit on top of your systems and pull in the latest offerings in your community or industry. We are all humans, even at work. And that means sometimes having big feelings that just come out. Leaders can prepare in advance for those moments to better handle them with grace and respect. If you're faced with something unexpected, it's perfectly acceptable to take a pause and reset. Perhaps you asked someone for a simple status update and suddenly, they are breaking down, sharing that a client acted inappropriately with them. Take a breath, listen and if you need to, take a time-out. Patrick Morrissey, CEO of Altify, advises, 'Acknowledge their concern and say, 'Hang on. There's obviously something here that's a bigger thing. Let's go back and start from the beginning.' You can address the concern to allow the employee to feel heard and then perhaps book immediate time to follow up, particularly if you think you might need to remediate a dispute, create an action plan or bring in additional HR support. Morrissey continued, 'I think trying to get into action mode, saying immediately we're going to do this, and it's going to be fine, potentially makes the situation a lot worse. Particularly if you don't understand what you're dealing with.' Create a ritual in advance to deal with difficult conversations. 'I've had employees completely melt down emotionally with me, crying so hard they can't catch their breath,' says Eiler. 'When we were in office, I intentionally kept tissues on my desk. I would shut the door or move to a quiet location, ensure they were safe, give them time to compose themselves, and encourage them to go home early. Usually, that's all the person needs to get themselves together enough to go on with their day. But not always. I rely on my HR business partners heavily. As leaders, the more we can involve our people teams in the emotional health of our teams, the better.' Being an empathetic, people-focused leader requires care, intention and preparation to handle difficult situations. No one is asking you to become a licensed therapist. Your mandate as a leader is to drive growth by supporting your employees, or find them the appropriate support so they can thrive. As Hartman, a huge sports fan, shared, 'This is the recipe behind creating championship-winning teams. So if you don't have the time to do it, you need to look at where you're spending your time.' The most important asset you have in your business is your people. As Morrissey points out, Ïn many organizations, the single biggest expense you have when you look at your profit and loss is your people.' In fact, labor costs can account for as much as 70% of total business costs according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Morrissey continues, 'So you have both a cost and risk analysis to the business, but that is really secondary to having an obligation to everybody you work with to try to help them be successful—particularly in certain examples when they are feeling unsafe at work or at home and they share this with you—that is non-optional. You have to do something. Regardless of whether it's your job.' When your people feel seen, heard, and valued, they will go the extra mile. When everyone is connected, they're pulling the oars in the same direction, each owning their role and working at an extremely high level. That's an investment every leader should want to make.
CBS News
28-01-2025
- Sport
- CBS News
Vietnam vet finds love, purpose as the "Honey-Do Dude"
Evening News On The Road - After his retirement, and following the death of his wife, Danny Chauvin of Mississippi was looking for purpose. He had served in the Army in Vietnam and been treated for PTSD and depression, and knew he needed to keep busy. So, he posted a note to Facebook offering his services as a handyman, and everything changed. Steve Hartman has his story in "On the Road." Fri, 24 Jan 2025 21:22:00 -0500 cab0425b-617a-4585-bbb3-42a1936323f5 How a blind college student became a radio broadcaster for an NBA G League team Allan Wylie, a freshman sports communication major at Rowan University in New Jersey, is a color commentator for the Delaware Blue Coats of the NBA G League. Tue, 21 Jan 2025 13:39:33 -0500 635a1a85-7fc4-40cc-8356-5e796338f7f3 How a beloved professor's bond with a former student transcends illness When Clay Morton discovered his mentor, Dr. Walt Manger, had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, he set out to save as much of his mentor's brilliance as possible. Fri, 10 Jan 2025 20:09:38 -0500 7726f61c-a565-405d-aaa1-b4d90c61641d How a beloved geology professor's bond with a former student transcends illness When Clay Morton discovered his mentor, Dr. Walt Manger, had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, he set out to save as much of his mentor's brilliance as possible. Steve Hartman has their story in "On the Road." Fri, 10 Jan 2025 20:00:00 -0500 50eef8fd-ec98-4008-8ca9-b1ac1958c351 Louisiana boy rewarded after giving away his only dollar Nine-year-old Kelvin Ellis Jr. of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, had only $1 to his name, but chose to give it away to a man he mistook as homeless. That single act of generosity sparked a friendship he could have never imagined. Steve Hartman has the story in "On the Road." Fri, 03 Jan 2025 19:37:00 -0500 b3ead4d4-ca46-47b9-a984-16c73e09a661 Nurse adopts teen mom after caring for babies in NICU Compassion comes with the territory for hospital nurses, but one raised the bar beyond the call of duty while caring for a 14-year-old mom and her triplets. Steve Hartman goes "On the Road" for the story. Fri, 27 Dec 2024 19:44:00 -0500 70438701-5513-45df-ab27-7680bfd7264c Kids inspired by Secret Santa give out total of $10,000 to strangers An Arizona elementary teacher uses Steve Hartman's "On the Road" stories to teach kindness and character. One about a Secret Santa that gives out money to random strangers has inspired his students to do the same over the holidays -- and this year was no different. Fri, 20 Dec 2024 20:10:00 -0500 fc3b15d4-d0ed-411a-9efd-879dbcfeaccb Virginia high school students surprise janitor with SUV A custodian at a Virginia high school was brought to tears when students surprised him with an SUV. Steve Hartman goes "On the Road" to learn more about the heartwarming gesture. Fri, 20 Dec 2024 18:40:01 -0500 876fc29f-bf9c-469c-95a4-0a7206732014 Secret Santa gives thousands of dollars to North Carolina victims of Helene Every year, this anonymous, wealthy businessman travels the country during the holidays, giving away about $100,000 in $100 bills. Fri, 13 Dec 2024 20:03:20 -0500 a8d2daf0-fa59-40db-b779-af417f2c7633 Bills rookie Ray Davis reflects on the brotherly bond that changed his life For the Bills' Sunday Night Football tilt against the 49ers, Ray Davis wore a picture on his cleats paying tribute to the day he first met Patrick Dowley about 17 years ago. Fri, 06 Dec 2024 20:42:47 -0500 c4f57520-22b8-4a39-a03e-55b77123e35e Buffalo Bills rookie Ray Davis honors "Big Brother" mentor at game When Buffalo Bills rookie running back Ray Davis was a kid, a mentor from Big Brothers Big Sister helped provide stability in his life. Last weekend, Davis got the chance to give back with a pregame tribute on Sunday Night Football. Steve Hartman has the story. Fri, 06 Dec 2024 20:06:00 -0500 5f9f7a93-f64f-47fb-9df4-1965ce41f302 Ernie Johnson, wife found healing by "unlocking" their late son's key collection Ernie and Cheryl Johnson had planned to hold onto their late son Michael's quirky key collection forever. But then they met 6-year-old Cooper Kivett. Fri, 22 Nov 2024 21:25:37 -0500 9fc5db72-1d23-44d2-8418-13664910b68b Parents pass on late son's car key collection to 6-year-old boy After their son Michael died at the age of 33, Ernie and Cheryl Johnson planned to hold onto his extensive collection of car keys and fobs. That all changed when another mom posted on Facebook looking for car keys for her little boy who also loved to collect them. Steve Hartman goes "On the Road" for a story about giving to others as a way to mourn lost loved ones. Fri, 22 Nov 2024 19:54:00 -0500 eec25001-1302-4915-8049-3711917ce684 Son gifts father a restored Camaro decades after he let one go to raise a family Jared Guynes spent three years scouring the internet for parts and putting together a 1967 Chevy Camaro piece by piece, which he gifted his father on his 65th birthday. Fri, 15 Nov 2024 20:10:36 -0500 20431ff7-6680-4c7d-9c35-866c76dc72a6 Son surprises dad with Camaro decades after he gave one up to start a family For Earl Guynes and his son, Jared, cars have always been their love language. And through the years, the one thing they've talked about most is the 1967 Chevy Camaro Earl used to own, but had to sell when he started a family. Steve Hartman goes "On the Road" to learn about the touching gift Jared gave his dad to pay it back all these years later. Fri, 15 Nov 2024 20:03:00 -0500 5321f5d5-4e34-497a-9989-fcd3bdce8864 8 decades after her father's mysterious death in WWII, she finally received answers Gerri Eisenhauer's father, Army Pvt. William Walters, was shipped off to World War II before she was even born. In 1944, her family got back his body and a letter that only stated he had died somewhere in France. Eighty years later, she finally received some answers. Steve Hartman has the story in "On the Road." Fri, 08 Nov 2024 19:50:00 -0500 d6cc8e27-64c2-4cd1-b58f-d23a690b3cb0 Maine dogs go viral for their autumn joy Jody Hartman of Freeport, Maine, went viral for giving his pets the OK to run and jump through the autumn leaf piles. Fri, 01 Nov 2024 20:25:00 -0400 a99d7418-23b7-440d-9990-dad8c025b174 Student with special needs finds acceptance, brotherhood in Clemson fraternity The ClemsonLIFE program gives students with intellectual disabilities a chance to learn life skills. But as much as the program offers, junior Charlie McGee wanted the whole college experience. Fri, 25 Oct 2024 21:28:09 -0400 8be91c63-5bc1-41f1-82a5-0608bb524ff3 Clemson fraternity embraces student in intellectual disability program At Clemson University in South Carolina, the ClemsonLIFE program gives students with intellectual disabilities a chance to learn life skills for independent living. But as much as the program offers, junior Charlie McGee wanted the whole college experience -- including joining a fraternity. Steve Hartman goes "On the Road" for a story on the rewards of kindness and acceptance. Fri, 25 Oct 2024 21:12:00 -0400 58e1ff2d-08c6-4fa8-a5ba-339be5bdb136 Missouri elementary school names building after its beloved custodian Custodian Claudene Wilson is so dedicated to Swedeborg District lll Elementary School that, over the past 30 years, she has taken on many additional responsibilities. Fri, 18 Oct 2024 20:26:05 -0400 1c7ddaf7-c568-4c39-b97b-0a6c7385ca52 Missouri community inspired to name school building after its dedicated custodian Custodian Claudene Wilson has been so dedicated to Swedeborg District lll Elementary School in Missouri over the past 30 years, that the community decided to name a school building after her. Steve Hartman has the story in "On the Road." Fri, 18 Oct 2024 20:13:00 -0400 6931f8fd-2710-444a-99d8-100e8d695efc Why this 93-year-old has not missed a single high school football game since 1946 Steve Young, 93, has not missed a single Antioch Community High School football game since 1946. He also attends virtually every school sporting event, from basketball to golf, and has no plans on stopping anytime soon. Steve Hartman has more in "On the Road." Fri, 11 Oct 2024 19:53:00 -0400 2f2b8bfb-3a49-4a13-9d6c-0bb6dcc6bffe Helene destroyed their North Carolina campground, but they're staying put On the website of the Mountain River Family Campground, old customers and total strangers began reserving campsites, leaving comments like, "I know we can't come." Fri, 04 Oct 2024 20:59:16 -0400 4433e580-54b4-40f7-a50a-8560a68ffab9 Ohio man's Halloween display becomes source of joy to cancer patient Bill Pyles' Halloween display in Oxford, Ohio, often resulted in a steady stream of hate mail from angry neighbors. Fri, 27 Sep 2024 20:34:30 -0400 6af1b402-fd52-4088-9dde-b5b06b24dada Ohio man's Halloween display cheers up woman on way to cancer treatments Some neighbors have had a bone to pick about one man's Halloween display, but for at least one person, it has special meaning. Steve Hartman goes "On the Road" to Oxford, Ohio, to learn more about this heartwarming story. Fri, 27 Sep 2024 20:15:00 -0400 c56fb485-91c3-4744-9b3c-90d9d9d0a194 Virginia students surprise school custodian with dream SUV When Francis Apraku saw the Jeep Wrangler in the school parking lot, he said the gesture brought him to his knees. Fri, 20 Sep 2024 17:40:00 -0400 e68bc360-5c0d-4bd0-a5e9-495e80d504cf How a man's arrest in a "Captain America" costume led him to sobriety David Hobbs felt as if his "life was over" when he was arrested in 2019 for breaking into a backyard shed dressed as "Captain America." But a childhood friend came to his aid. Fri, 13 Sep 2024 20:03:00 -0400 7a0dfdaa-94b0-4d6f-b828-2ffcb394ecee Alabama woman pulled over for speeding receives life-changing career advice An Alabama state trooper never imagined the advice he gave 20-year-old Abbie Rutledge when he pulled her over for speeding in August 2022 would change the trajectory of her life. Fri, 06 Sep 2024 20:04:00 -0400 7e8af6a8-5573-42ed-a357-7a4593b4041d Driver pulled over for speeding receives life-changing career advice When 20-year-old Abbie Rutledge was pulled over for speeding two years ago by an Alabama state trooper, she had no idea how their conversation would change the trajectory of her life. Steve Hartman has their story in "On the Road." Fri, 06 Sep 2024 19:55:00 -0400 54f5c399-f97c-47bb-8876-026682940318 Missouri father uses a funeral to wean daughter off pacifier Hazel's beloved pacifier had been with her for years. Her father Jake knew saying goodbye could come with tears and tantrums, so he searched for creative approaches to ease the transition.
