Latest news with #Stylist
Yahoo
5 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Apparently The 'Rest Gap' Might Be Why Women Are So Exhausted, And As I Read This Yawning At My Desk, It Makes A Lot Of Sense
Last month, UK-based Stylist magazine published an article about the 'rest gap.' In essence, the rest gap describes the idea that women get less sleep than men because of societal pressures and expectations that take their focus away from much-needed rest. Research says women tend to report more sleep trouble in general. They also have to deal with hormone-related issues like hot flashes or nausea during pregnancy, perimenopause, and menopause, which further disrupt sleep. This all creates a tough cycle where women aren't getting the seven to nine hours of sleep they need. 'I'm always kind of happy to see that somebody can give a name that simplifies such a very nuanced and complex phenomenon,' said LaWanda Hill, a psychologist based in California. 'The rest gap speaks to just the ways in which women disproportionately are impacted in society.' 'I think you can add the rest gap, you can add the wealth gap, you can add the health gap ... it just really simplifies all the things which we are subjected to because of structures, systems, policies, laws and societal norms,' Hill continued. There are a lot of contributing factors to the rest gap. Below, experts share their thoughts on why this happens and how to sleep better if you're experiencing it: Women are conditioned to take care of others before themselves. 'Societally, there's so many different reasons why [the rest gap happens] and why women often don't give themselves permission to rest,' said Tasha Bailey, a psychotherapist in London and author of 'Real Talk: Lessons From Therapy on Healing & Self-Love.' 'I think as women, we've been primed to be people-pleasers,' Bailey continued. 'When we're children, we're often celebrated for being nurturing and showing empathy and cooperation.' Hill offered a similar sentiment, saying that women often grow up believing 'they're responsible for the well-being of ― at the very minimum ― their immediate family.' Conversely, it's seen as a bad thing when women are assertive or focus on themselves. 'I think that then leads many women to disregard their own need for rest and to keep working, pushing on and eventually burning out,' Bailey said. This is especially true for moms. Related: A Doctor Claimed He Knew Why I Got Cancer. When He Told Me, I Was Horrified And Embarrassed. For women who have children, parenthood adds an additional layer. While many men are more involved than ever when it comes to taking care of their kids, generational conditioning has still taught many people that women need to be the main caregivers. This is often on top of demanding jobs, family of origin needs, friendship needs and community obligations. This responsibility is 'not going to be undone tomorrow ... socialization starts in childhood, so we've been socialized for so long to believe that we were primarily responsible for that,' Hill said. Being the main nurturer or caretaker for your kids and family can be rewarding, but it is also downright exhausting. If you're the main person in charge of making lunches, helping with homework, caring for ailing parents and shuttling kids back and forth to school — you'll only have less time to rest. We live in a productivity-obsessed world. Related: After Getting Called Out For Having "MAGA Makeup," This Woman Gave Herself A "Liberal Makeover," And People Cannot Believe The Results 'I love the term 'hustle culture' because I think that is what we're all living in. We're just working and we're hustling, and we're trying to be productive and we're trying to get everything right,' said Meredith Van Ness, a psychotherapist and the owner of Meredith Van Ness Therapy in Colorado. 'Everyone's trying to do the best that they can, but it's like, 'When is the best good enough?'' The goal post keeps moving, and, as a result, trying to do your best can quickly become strenuous. For example, if you're trying to be the best mom and caretaker, you're probably showing up to every single event or reading longer stories to your kids at night. But that's a cycle that can go on and on until burnout. For people who aren't moms, it could mean telling yourself you deserve a quiet weekend but letting guilt take over, leading you to clean your house, car and garage instead of resting. Our culture glorifies being busy, Van Ness noted, 'and when we do that ... then I think it's going to be harder for women to turn that off at the end of the night.' The obsession with productivity will likely make you put your bedtime off if you think you have to finish a lengthy to-do list before the lights go out. 'We feel like there's so much pressure on being productive, and self-care and rest aren't necessarily a part of that equation as far as kind of what our society has put on us,' Van Ness said. Work plays a role, too. In office settings, women are often working doubly hard to prove themselves. This is even more exacerbated for Black women, other women of color and members of the LGBTQIA+ community, Hill said. This heightened pressure at work can lead to mental and physical stress, as well as anxiety. 'And anxiety often rears its head at the time for women to go to sleep or rest,' Hill said. 'So their sleep is disrupted because of the amount of stresses that they have [from just] being a woman in society.' Day-to-day work stress wasn't something most women faced 100 years ago, either, as most women did not work outside of the home. 'Obviously, now we're in a modern world where women are working ... but they still have the same expectations to run the family home and to maintain family harmony, yet still hold up a full-time job,' Bailey said. The expectations haven't been loosened to meet the reality of 40-hour work weeks. Instead, women are expected to do the same tasks that were expected decades ago. To cope, it can be helpful to take breaks during the day and set boundaries. Sleep is non-negotiable. Rest throughout the day can even be looked at this way, too, with Van Ness noting that rest can mean different things for people. 'That's a different category than sleep ... we could also call that mindfulness, or we could also take that as moments of well-being,' Van Ness said. 'You could probably call it anything you want, but I think it's resting emotionally, mentally just throughout the day ... taking a few deep breaths, and just saying, 'OK, how am I doing? I'm going to check in with myself.'' There's no one right way to rest, either. You can listen to your body's cues and practice whatever relaxation technique you see fit. This could be meditation, going on a walk, spending time in nature, practicing breath work or calling a friend. Not only will you feel better after listening to what your body needs, but you'll also be better prepared to finish the tasks that need to get done. Allowing yourself to rest and de-stress during the day can also carry over into the night. Walking and mindfulness meditation are known to help people sleep better — so it's a win-win all around. While carving out time for yourself to rest, also consider where else you can make time for yourself. 'Because we haven't capped what we are taking on — as moms, parents and women — then we take on too much,' Hill said. This is where boundaries can come in. 'I think we've got to do a better job of having more emotional boundaries, as hard as it is, so that ... we can begin to close this gap,' Hill said. So, if you feel too drained to babysit your nephew, say no to that request. Or consider setting boundaries around your phone use so your friends and family know not to expect a text reply from you after a certain time. Know that sleep is essential, not a reward. It's common for people to look at rest as a reward that happens once a task is complete, but this is the wrong perspective. 'Rest [is] our basic human essential need, we need to feel rested and energized in order to do what we need to do in our day-to-day lives,' Bailey said. 'If we don't get that rest, whether it's physical rest or whether it's emotional rest ... we will end up feeling burnt out, we'll end up feeling resentful, we'll end up feeling like we can't really be fulfilled.' Getting enough sleep has countless benefits: it's good for your heart health, can reduce your risk of cancer and dementia, and is good for your mental health, too. In other words, you shouldn't be skimping on sleep, even if society makes it harder for women to get enough of it. As we need food and water, rest is also a basic need, Bailey article originally appeared on HuffPost. Also in Goodful: 20 Wholesome Posts I Found On The Internet This Week That Are So Urgently Needed Right Now Also in Goodful: "It's Soul-Crushing": People Are Revealing The TellTale Signs Someone Has Been Through A Lot Of Shit In Their Life, And Some Of These Might Surprise You Also in Goodful: 19 "Garbage" Modern Trends People Refuse To Partake In Despite Their Popularity
Buzz Feed
26-05-2025
- Health
- Buzz Feed
The Rest Gap — Why Women Are So Exhausted
Last month, UK-based Stylist magazine published an article about the 'rest gap.' In essence, the rest gap describes the idea that women get less sleep than men because of societal pressures and expectations that take their focus away from much-needed rest. Research says women tend to report more sleep trouble in general. They also have to deal with hormone-related issues like hot flashes or nausea during pregnancy, perimenopause, and menopause, which further disrupt sleep. This all creates a tough cycle where women aren't getting the seven to nine hours of sleep they need. 'I'm always kind of happy to see that somebody can give a name that simplifies such a very nuanced and complex phenomenon,' said LaWanda Hill, a psychologist based in California. 'The rest gap speaks to just the ways in which women disproportionately are impacted in society.' 'I think you can add the rest gap, you can add the wealth gap, you can add the health gap ... it just really simplifies all the things which we are subjected to because of structures, systems, policies, laws and societal norms,' Hill continued. There are a lot of contributing factors to the rest gap. Below, experts share their thoughts on why this happens and how to sleep better if you're experiencing it: 'Societally, there's so many different reasons why [the rest gap happens] and why women often don't give themselves permission to rest,' said Tasha Bailey, a psychotherapist in London and author of ' Real Talk: Lessons From Therapy on Healing & Self-Love.' 'I think as women, we've been primed to be people-pleasers,' Bailey continued. 'When we're children, we're often celebrated for being nurturing and showing empathy and cooperation.' Hill offered a similar sentiment, saying that women often grow up believing 'they're responsible for the well-being of ― at the very minimum ― their immediate family.' Conversely, it's seen as a bad thing when women are assertive or focus on themselves. 'I think that then leads many women to disregard their own need for rest and to keep working, pushing on and eventually burning out,' Bailey said. This is especially true for moms. For women who have children, parenthood adds an additional layer. While many men are more involved than ever when it comes to taking care of their kids, generational conditioning has still taught many people that women need to be the main caregivers. This is often on top of demanding jobs, family of origin needs, friendship needs and community obligations. This responsibility is 'not going to be undone tomorrow ... socialization starts in childhood, so we've been socialized for so long to believe that we were primarily responsible for that,' Hill said. Being the main nurturer or caretaker for your kids and family can be rewarding, but it is also downright exhausting. If you're the main person in charge of making lunches, helping with homework, caring for ailing parents and shuttling kids back and forth to school — you'll only have less time to rest. We live in a productivity-obsessed world. 'I love the term 'hustle culture' because I think that is what we're all living in. We're just working and we're hustling, and we're trying to be productive and we're trying to get everything right,' said Meredith Van Ness, a psychotherapist and the owner of Meredith Van Ness Therapy in Colorado. 'Everyone's trying to do the best that they can, but it's like, 'When is the best good enough?'' The goal post keeps moving, and, as a result, trying to do your best can quickly become strenuous. For example, if you're trying to be the best mom and caretaker, you're probably showing up to every single event or reading longer stories to your kids at night. But that's a cycle that can go on and on until burnout. For people who aren't moms, it could mean telling yourself you deserve a quiet weekend but letting guilt take over, leading you to clean your house, car and garage instead of resting. Our culture glorifies being busy, Van Ness noted, 'and when we do that ... then I think it's going to be harder for women to turn that off at the end of the night.' The obsession with productivity will likely make you put your bedtime off if you think you have to finish a lengthy to-do list before the lights go out. 'We feel like there's so much pressure on being productive, and self-care and rest aren't necessarily a part of that equation as far as kind of what our society has put on us,' Van Ness said. In office settings, women are often working doubly hard to prove themselves. This is even more exacerbated for Black women, other women of color and members of the LGBTQIA+ community, Hill said. This heightened pressure at work can lead to mental and physical stress, as well as anxiety. 'And anxiety often rears its head at the time for women to go to sleep or rest,' Hill said. 'So their sleep is disrupted because of the amount of stresses that they have [from just] being a woman in society.' Day-to-day work stress wasn't something most women faced 100 years ago, either, as most women did not work outside of the home. 'Obviously, now we're in a modern world where women are working ... but they still have the same expectations to run the family home and to maintain family harmony, yet still hold up a full-time job,' Bailey said. The expectations haven't been loosened to meet the reality of 40-hour work weeks. Instead, women are expected to do the same tasks that were expected decades ago. To cope, it can be helpful to take breaks during the day and set boundaries. Sleep is non-negotiable. Rest throughout the day can even be looked at this way, too, with Van Ness noting that rest can mean different things for people. 'That's a different category than sleep ... we could also call that mindfulness, or we could also take that as moments of well-being,' Van Ness said. 'You could probably call it anything you want, but I think it's resting emotionally, mentally just throughout the day ... taking a few deep breaths, and just saying, 'OK, how am I doing? I'm going to check in with myself.'' There's no one right way to rest, either. You can listen to your body's cues and practice whatever relaxation technique you see fit. This could be meditation, going on a walk, spending time in nature, practicing breath work or calling a friend. Not only will you feel better after listening to what your body needs, but you'll also be better prepared to finish the tasks that need to get done. Allowing yourself to rest and de-stress during the day can also carry over into the night. Walking and mindfulness meditation are known to help people sleep better — so it's a win-win all around. While carving out time for yourself to rest, also consider where else you can make time for yourself. 'Because we haven't capped what we are taking on — as moms, parents and women — then we take on too much,' Hill said. This is where boundaries can come in. 'I think we've got to do a better job of having more emotional boundaries, as hard as it is, so that ... we can begin to close this gap,' Hill said. So, if you feel too drained to babysit your nephew, say no to that request. Or consider setting boundaries around your phone use so your friends and family know not to expect a text reply from you after a certain time. Know that sleep is essential, not a reward. It's common for people to look at rest as a reward that happens once a task is complete, but this is the wrong perspective. 'Rest [is] our basic human essential need, we need to feel rested and energized in order to do what we need to do in our day-to-day lives,' Bailey said. 'If we don't get that rest, whether it's physical rest or whether it's emotional rest ... we will end up feeling burnt out, we'll end up feeling resentful, we'll end up feeling like we can't really be fulfilled.' Getting enough sleep has countless benefits: it's good for your heart health, can reduce your risk of cancer and dementia, and is good for your mental health, too. In other words, you shouldn't be skimping on sleep, even if society makes it harder for women to get enough of it. As we need food and water, rest is also a basic need, Bailey said. HuffPost.
Yahoo
25-03-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
‘The White Lotus' Star Urges Fans Not To File Their Teeth To Resemble Her Unique Smile
'The White Lotus' star Aimee Lou Wood is gushing over the positive press she's received about her appearance lately, but she made it clear she doesn't want fans going to extreme lengths to achieve her unique smile. 'I can't believe the impact my teeth are having, because the Americans can't believe [my teeth],' Wood, 31, said while appearing on ITV's 'The Jonathan Ross Show' on Saturday. 'But they're all being lovely.' In season three of the Max series, Wood stars as Chelsea, the optimistic younger girlfriend of Walton Goggins' character, Rick Hatchett. Wood, who said she faced years of bullying over her gap-filled smile, told host Ross that since the show premiered last month, she's been seeing posts on social media analyzing her smile. 'They dissect my teeth and say what's wrong with it,' she explained. 'But at the end go, 'But we don't think she should change a thing.' Oh my God, it feels so lovely. A real full-circle moment after being bullied for my teeth forever.' Despite being elated over the delayed appreciation, the 'Sex Education' star went on to firmly say she doesn't want fans to take their infatuation with her smile overboard by cosmetically altering their own teeth. 'I hope people don't start filing their teeth so they have gaps,' Wood added. Back in 2020, Wood got candid about how her smile often made her skeptical about her chance of landing roles on television. 'I'd always be super confident when I went to theater auditions, but if it was a TV thing, I'd be so shocked when I got a recall,' the star told U.K. magazine Stylist at the time. 'I sometimes thought, 'Oh, a Channel 4 thing, I might have a chance on there.' Then 'Sex Education' came along, and I was like, 'Well, what have I seen on Netflix? Everyone has perfect Hollywood teeth.'' Watch Wood's appearance on 'The Jonathan Ross Show' below. Patrick Schwarzenegger's 'White Lotus' Co-Stars Thought He'd 'Throw Up' After This Scene Aubrey Plaza Still Hasn't Seen Her 'White Lotus' Performance For A Very Relatable Reason Lukas Gage Recalls His Mom's Reaction To His NSFW 'White Lotus' Scene
The Guardian
23-03-2025
- General
- The Guardian
It's time to embrace Dugnadsånd – the Norwegian concept we all need right now
A new hygge has dropped, but you'll need to take off your cosy slippers and put down your cinnamon bun to try it. There is a real danger of getting the wrong end of the stick when we get enthusiastic about other nations' lifestyles – such as when the New York Times writes about modern Britons enjoying boiled mutton for lunch, or 'cavorting' in swamps, and we all get cross – but this comes straight from the Viking's mouth. That's Meik Wiking, the perfectly named chief executive of the Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen. Writing in Stylist, Wiking suggests we consider adopting a Norwegian concept that requires no blankets or candles: dugnadsånd, approximately translated as 'community spirit'. He likens dugnadsånd to barn-raising in 18th- and 19th-century North America, describing a 'collective willingness of people to come together in the context of community projects – emphasising cooperation and selflessness'. Could it catch on here? In a way, it already has. There aren't many barns that need raising in 2025, but our communities definitely need and rely on collective action. With bare-bones budgets, threadbare public services and cuts, cuts, cuts, community spirit is already at least partly responsible for ensuring hungry children are fed, effluent discharged into our waterways is highlighted (why is this a thing?) and refugees are welcomed, among other things. There is a very fair question to be asked about whether, really, individuals and communities should be plugging those gaping holes. To British ears, dugnadsånd could evoke a dread echo of David Cameron's 'big society' – the expedient outsourcing of the state's obligations to a patchwork of charitable and voluntary organisations when what really needs to happen is for very rich people and corporations to pay vastly more tax. But if I've grasped dugnadsånd correctly, from what Wiking writes, it is mostly more modest: neighbours helping neighbours, communities clearing rubbish or creating playgrounds. Anyone can be the beneficiary, as well as the giver. 'Helping each other out through reciprocation made the whole community stronger, more resilient and, I would argue, also happier,' he says. I can well believe that, because there's hard evidence that volunteering is good for you. A 2023 review of 28 studies on volunteering concluded there was 'consistent evidence to support effects on general health and wellbeing and quality of life'; there is even evidence of 'reduced mortality'. Social prescribers refer clients for volunteering opportunities, because believing that you have something to contribute, and acting on it, feels good. Reciprocity is baked in, because everyone benefits. I know how that feels. I have been a trustee of a local environmental charity for the past few years, and while I rarely feel particularly helpful and sometimes actively the opposite (especially facing budget spreadsheets), I always feel less despairing when I'm there – not least because it has shown me how many people will cheerfully pick nappies and Monster cans out of freezing mud, or do itchy, sweaty battle with invasive plants. My husband (who actually has useful skills) gets something similar from his slots at the local repair cafe: not every lamp or toaster gets fixed, but there is a sense of building something. It also feels like training for what lies ahead. When government in Britain is bitterly disappointing and in other places is actively, enthusiastically furthering the end of the world, there will certainly be more, and worse, natural disasters and doubtless more human-made ones. Do we really want to try to survive them atomised, sitting on stockpiles of tinned goods? In the New York Times, an exploration of how the horrifying current political climate has supercharged intellectual interest in the idea of solidarity included a description of it that stuck with me: 'a distinctive and delicate form of intimacy'. It is intimate, also vulnerable, to accept and express when we need help; to want to offer it but not know how, or to feel inept when we do; to accept we need each other. Dugnadsånd – practical solidarity, really – seems like a way of practising that, of training our collective thinking, collective action, but also our collective vulnerability muscles. It is either that, or it's something completely different – over to you, Norway. Emma Beddington is a Guardian columnist Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.
