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Independent Singapore
20-05-2025
- General
- Independent Singapore
8 soft skills that can make you rich — for life
When discussing wealth, what usually comes to mind is money, status, or material success. However, a few of life's most potent possessions can't be placed inside a bank account. These soft skills shape how we interrelate, lead, develop, and succeed. Whether one is a student, a budding artist, an emerging professional, or an entrepreneur pursuing an audacious idea, these abilities are an enduring investment. With relevant illustrations, common slipups to dodge, and first-rate learning resources, these 'tools' can benefit one's vocation, boost confidence, strengthen relationships, and impact the world. Emotional Intelligence: The Glue That Connects Us Why it matters : Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is our capacity to distinguish, grasp, and manage emotions—our own and others. It's the basis of durable relationships, unswerving trust, and never-ending teamwork. Where people stumble : Sidestepping tough discussions or countering thoughtlessly can wear away trust quicker than we think. How to build it : Read: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Watch: Susan David's TED Talk, 'The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage' Learn: LinkedIn Learning's Emotional Intelligence at Work course Communication: More Than Words Why it matters : Effective communicators don't just express their thoughts and feelings well; they also connect. They listen enthusiastically, articulate concepts emphatically, and pay special attention to body language and attitude. Where people stumble : Intruding, using nonsensical or high-falutin words, or inability to detect non-verbal signals can produce detachment rather than connection. How to build it : Read: Crucial Conversations by Joseph Grenny & team Watch: Brené Brown's 'The Power of Vulnerability' Learn: Coursera's Effective Communication course Critical Thinking: Your Inner Compass Why it matters : In a world swamped with dogmatic views and half-truths, critical thinking assists in sifting the noise, asking intelligent questions, and making informed decisions and astute choices. Where people stumble : Carelessly making decisions or clinging to prejudices, as this clouds one's outlook. How to build it : Read: Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman Watch: Helen Lee Bouygues' TED Talk, 'Critical Thinking for Better Judgment' Learn: edX's Critical Thinking Skills course Negotiation: Win-Win or Lose-Lose Why it matters : Negotiation is part of all of life's activities. Whether one is seeking a raise in salary, forming a partnership, compromising with a friend, or wanting to meet a spouse halfway, negotiation is present. Strong negotiators pursue a shared advantage, not just victory. Where people stumble : Being aggressive and adversarial, rushing the process, or making it personal can disrupt trust. How to build it : Read: Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss Watch: William Ury's 'The Walk from No to Yes' Learn: Coursera's Negotiation Skills course Adaptability: Your Edge in a Changing World Why it matters : Change is the only thing that doesn't change. Flexible people stay diplomatic and non-violent, are inquisitive, and focus on solutions when plans are drastically modified or challenges arise. Where people stumble : Accusing others or fighting change interrupts growth, and occasionally ruins it entirely. How to build it : Read: Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson Watch: Guy Kawasaki's 'The Art of Innovation' Learn: Udemy's Adaptability and Resilience course Leadership: Influence Starts with Integrity Why it matters : Leadership is never about titles—it's about compelling acts, compassion, responsiveness, and accountability. The finest leaders encourage and lead by example. Where people stumble : Nitpicking, imposing controls, evading tough decisions, or playing favorites diminishes trust and drive. How to build it : Read: Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek Watch: Sinek's TED Talk, 'How Great Leaders Inspire Action' Learn: Harvard Online's Leadership Principles course Time Management: Mastering the Clock Why it matters : Time is the most limited resource. Those who manage their time well get more things done with less anxiety, more purpose, and with more meaning. Where people stumble : Stalling, postponements, deliberate delays, too much multitasking, or poor planning result in exhaustion and pressure. See also Wendy Jacobs and 200 others become Singaporean citizens How to build it : Read: Getting Things Done by David Allen Watch: Laura Vanderkam's 'How to Gain Control of Your Free Time' Learn: LinkedIn Learning's Time Management Mastery course Creativity: Your Superpower for Solving the Unsolvable Why it matters : Creativity pushes invention, problem-solving, and advancement in every turf, not just the arts. It's about changing direction, shifting courses when necessary, doing what's doable, and making the impossible possible. Where people stumble : Dread of failure or sticking to obsolete systems and approaches can stifle one's imaginative trigger. How to build it : Read: Creative Confidence by Tom & David Kelley Watch: Ken Robinson's 'Do Schools Kill Creativity?' Learn: Coursera's Creative Problem Solving course Invest where it counts Diplomas and degrees, titles, certificates, and technical abilities open doors, but soft skills are what will keep these doors open forever. They don't just boost one's CV; they provide the 'buzz' of how you become in life. And like any valued asset, they develop and grow with reliable attention, effort, and determination. So, wherever you are on your journey, always remember — the cleverest investment you can make is investing in yourself.
Los Angeles Times
06-05-2025
- Health
- Los Angeles Times
Opinion: Toxic positivity's hidden harm to mental health
Sometimes it seems like we are a culture addicted to happiness. Social media news feeds are filled with #GoodVibesOnly tweets, self-help books brainwash us to the power of limitless optimism, and good friends teach us to 'just think positive!' when life isn't going so well. What if, rather than keeping us happy, this cultural mandate of optimism is preventing us from being happy? I mean toxic positivity — the assumption we can only be positive in every situation and cut off all else. On paper it sounds wonderful, even therapeutic-sounding. However, the suppression of bad feelings can cause a rebound. It was discovered in a 2018 Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study that individuals who embraced their negative emotions had lower depression and anxiety levels than individuals who suppressed or denied them. Suppression of negative emotions was associated with reduced long-term emotional resilience in a 2017 NIH study. The problem isn't that we're getting too scared—it's that other feelings are being de-legitimized. When you say to someone who's in pain or hurt, 'just be thankful for what you have!' you're hearing it as the message that your pain is not valid. Psychologist and author Susan David argues that emotional well-being is a side effect of accepting all of the feelings, not only the good ones. Social media sites such as Instagram and TikTok engage in toxic positivity by encouraging the airbrushed highlight reel of life. In a 2021 NIH study, researchers found that binge-watching 'positive' content leaves the viewer worse-off since they compare their very real issues to other individuals' seemingly perfect lives. I've seen it myself. A sophomore at Washington Connections Academy who requested to be anonymous once told me, 'I feel guilty feeling sad because everyone on the internet is so happy.' That guilt only set her further into isolation. Researcher Brené Brown states it more eloquently: 'We cannot selectively numb emotions. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.' Optimism is beautiful, of course — science attaches it to increased physical well-being and durability. But toxic positivity isn't. The first permit struggle; the second closes doors to struggle. As a teaching example, it can be over-loading when telling a patient with cancer 'be positive,' as it represses fear by suggesting restraint on something that should give way. In a 2022 International Journal of Behavioral Medicine article, researchers put cancer patients in a good mood and found they had higher levels of impairment and limited engagement in life after treatment. Sometimes the nicest thing we can tell someone is, 'This really sucks, and I'm here for you.' What do you do instead? Practice emotional validation – Instead of disqualifying someone else's pain, try: 'That sounds really tough. How can I help you?' In other situations, you can practice 'both-and' thinking – you can love your job and still be outraged about a horrible day. Emotions are not mutually exclusive. Forcing false happiness isn't liberating us — it's deteriorating us. By eschewing the #PositiveVibesOnly illusion, we're making it easier to live authentic connection and healing. And as psychologist Carl Rogers masterfully explained long ago, 'The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.' Let's not sweep aside pain in the guise of being optimistic. At times the most kind thing we can do is to say, 'Me too.' Related
