14-07-2025
18 Important Aspects Of EQ Smart New Leaders Will Cultivate
Emotional intelligence is a cornerstone of effective leadership, yet some of its most valuable lessons are only fully understood through real-world experience. For new leaders, navigating team dynamics, handling difficult conversations and staying aware of their own emotional triggers can reveal unexpected blind spots.
Leadership missteps in these unfamiliar areas can impact trust, morale and overall team performance. Below, Forbes Coaches Council members share key aspects of EQ that new leaders often end up learning the hard way, and how to get them right sooner.
1. Self-Regulation Under Pressure
New leaders often learn too late that self-regulation under pressure is key. A reactive moment, a sharp email or visible frustration can erode trust fast. Emotionally intelligent leadership means pausing before reacting. Your tone sets the team's emotional climate. Responding with composure builds safety, not silence. - Dr. Sunil Kumar, Dr Sunil Kumar Consulting
2. Paying Attention To Emotions
Emotionally intelligent leadership requires paying attention to emotions that can drive paralysis in decision-making and indecisive action. Fear and anger are often considered harmful and, therefore, are not managed in ways that lead to productive outcomes. These emotions are natural and can surface when mistakes occur. New leaders should effectively practice techniques to regulate these emotions. - Janet Miller Evans, Entevos LLC
3. Building Team Trust
Building trust with—and among—a team is a critical and foundational part of success. How a leader approaches this determines whether communication is open, teams are collaborative and conflicts are identified before they can fester and grow. New leaders may fear being open and transparent with their teams, but only through doing so can they expect and develop transparency in others. - Candice Gottlieb-Clark, Dynamic Team Solutions
4. Avoiding Displays Of Anxiety
A leader's emotions are contagious. The lesson: You are not a conduit for passing pressure onto your team; you are a filter who must absorb stress and radiate calm, focused direction. Recognizing that displaying anxiety can diminish motivation underscores the value of demonstrating composure and clarity in leadership. - Lori Huss, Lori Huss Coaching and Consulting
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5. Relationship Management
Relationship management is the glue that holds trusting relationships together. Building and maintaining trust with your team is the top priority. New leaders may fail to realize that work relationships function in much the same way as personal relationships. They need nurturing and ongoing trust-building. How you create connections and continue to manage work relations is key to your success as a leader. - Edward Doherty, One Degree Coaching, LLC
6. Asking For Feedback
Leaders, like everyone else, often overestimate their emotional intelligence; we are not as self-aware as we believe. The first step toward becoming truly self-aware is to seek feedback from trusted sources. The next step is to take action based on that feedback to manage oneself and interactions with others. The key lesson is to demonstrate humility by asking for and acting on feedback. - Karen Tracy, Dr. Karen A Tracy, LLC
7. Tone
One overlooked aspect of EQ is tone. I've seen new leaders deliver tough feedback with the right words but the wrong energy, leaving the team demoralized instead of motivated. The lesson? It's not just what you say, but how you say it that shapes trust and performance. - Laurie Arron, Arron Coaching LLC
8. Awareness Of Negativity Bias
New leaders can often get caught in negativity bias. From an evolutionary perspective, our brains are hardwired to focus on all that could go wrong or all that did go wrong in the past. We perseverate on our past mistakes in an effort to right our future. Without awareness of our negativity bias, we fail to consciously focus on the positive and take stock of all that has gone right. - Brittney Van Matre, Rewild Work Strategies
9. Maintaining Composure
New leaders often react impulsively in high-stress moments—snapping in meetings, sending reactive messages or overcorrecting. Only after trust is strained do they realize: Composure earns influence more than control. - Damodar Selvam, Equifax Inc.
10. Social Competence
Social competence—and the social awareness that comes with it—is so important. New leaders need to be like sonar, picking up cues of what's needed from their employees. It's important to name the emotion, not let their own emotions get in the way, and demonstrate empathy. Without these steps, leaders lose the trust and support of their team. - Shelley Hammell, Sage Alliance, Inc.
11. Impulse Control
Impulse control, or resisting the urge to immediately react when frustrated or caught off guard, is key. That first impulse to vent or demand immediate action is rarely your friend. The pause between trigger and response is where leadership lives. Master the pause and measured response, and people will begin to trust you in a crisis rather than hiding bad news. The best leaders know when to stay calm. - Antonio Garrido, My Daily Leadership
12. Understanding Each Person's Drivers
People think, feel and are motivated in different ways. New leaders often learn this the hard way when they make a well-intentioned decision they assume will inspire everyone, only to see some thrive while others disengage or even leave. The lesson? Your No. 1 job is to understand each person's unique drivers by asking—not assuming—and supporting them accordingly. - Kelly Stine, The Leading Light Coach
13. Tolerating Others' Discomfort
New leaders often confuse empathy with fixing. Emotional intelligence encompasses the ability to tolerate others' discomfort without rushing to fix it. Emotionally intelligent leadership means holding space when others are frustrated, not rushing to soothe. Practice pausing, validating the emotion and asking, 'What do you need most from me right now?' That's how trust and growth happen. - Mel Cidado, Breakthrough Coaching
14. Reality Testing
A surprising EQ blind spot for new leaders is reality testing. Many assume their perspective is the full picture. However, without verifying assumptions or seeking input, they risk making decisions within an echo chamber. The lesson therein is that emotionally intelligent leaders need to stay grounded—they verify, listen and lead with clarity, not ego. - Arthi Rabikrisson, Prerna Advisory
15. Listening
Many new leaders fail to recognize that listening may be the most valuable communication skill. As my mother has reminded me many times, we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. When they seek to establish themselves and define their leadership brands, less seasoned leaders often make assumptions that lead to unforced errors they could have avoided by listening instead of talking. - Precious Williams Owodunni, Mountaintop Consulting
16. Clear Communication (Even When It's Uncomfortable)
One often-missed aspect of emotional intelligence is recognizing how silence can be misinterpreted. New leaders may avoid addressing conflict or emotions, thinking they're staying neutral—but silence can signal indifference or disapproval. The lesson? Emotionally intelligent leaders communicate clearly, especially when it's uncomfortable. - Yasir Hashmi, The Hashmi Group
17. Emotional Self-Awareness
Emotional self-awareness is foundational for new leaders. When they develop it, they get better at understanding the cause of their emotions and the impact they have on their own thoughts and actions and on those around them. This is ongoing work, and it pays dividends to become fully emotionally effective! - Linda Allen-Hardisty, Allen-Hardisty Leadership Group
18. Maintaining Boundaries
Boundaries are vital. New leaders often think being available 24/7 proves commitment, but usually, it backfires fast. Without clear emotional and logistical boundaries, they drown in decisions, burn out and blur roles. The lesson? EQ isn't only about empathy—it's knowing where you end and your team begins. Clarity protects energy. And without energy, even the best strategy falls flat. - Alla Adam, Adam Impact Institute
