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Indian Express
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘I, as an actor, dehumanised her': Sara Ali Khan recalls going through a moment of jealousy over Alia Bhatt's success; expert on psychological triggers
Actor Sara Ali Khan recently opened up about the emotions she experienced when she saw Alia Bhatt's achievements. She admitted that she went through a moment of jealousy after witnessing Alia's personal and professional milestones. Reflecting on Alia's recent National Award win at a recent event held by NDTV, Sara said, 'When Alia got the National Award, I was like, 'God, she got it, she has a kid also, her life is set'. But I don't know what she went through to get that. I, as an actor, dehumanised her.' She added, 'You don't know, she must have had challenges and disappointments too, to reach where she has. But I didn't realise what went into it. There are two sides to every coin.' Despite this feeling, the Sky Force actor also shared an insightful perspective on envy, explaining, 'Most often, when we are envious of other people, we feel so without all the information. We are envious because we just see that success and then we want that. We don't see what goes behind it; we never see it. Envy means blindness.' Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells 'Envy is a deeply human emotion. Whether in personal relationships or professional spaces, envy often stems from our inherent need for validation, success, and belonging. However, what we see on the surface is rarely the full picture. Understanding envy, its triggers, and its impact can help individuals navigate these feelings in a healthier way.' A post shared by Alia Bhatt 💛 (@aliaabhatt) She adds, 'Envy in personal relationships can arise from perceived imbalances — when one friend seems to have a more fulfilling relationship, a smoother family dynamic, or greater life stability. Professionally, it emerges when peers achieve milestones we aspire to, whether it's recognition, financial success, or a particular career trajectory.' According to Khangarot, This tendency is fuelled by: – The Highlight Reel Effect: Social media and public personas rarely showcase struggles, failures, or personal hardships. – Emotional Projection: When we feel stuck or dissatisfied, we project an idealised version of others' lives, assuming they are free from challenges. – Lack of Context: We only see the outcome — awards, relationships, stability — but not the years of hard work, sacrifices, or setbacks. 'To cultivate a nuanced understanding of success, one must practice perspective-taking — reminding oneself that every achievement comes with its struggles. Engaging in meaningful conversations rather than assumptions helps humanise others' journeys,' she notes.
Indian Express
21-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘I questioned and belittled myself': Mandira Bedi opens up about battling sexism and self-doubt as a cricket presenter; why it is common
In 2003, when Mandira Bedi made her debut as a cricket presenter during the World Cup, she did not anticipate facing the challenges that she did during her journey. Known for her work as an actor, she entered a field where women were largely absent and often unwelcome. In a recent interview with Yuvaa, Mandira shared, 'I felt dismissed and disrespected. I felt powerless and like, 'I don't know what am I doing here'. I questioned myself and belittled myself saying, 'It must be me'.' Over time, she learned how to hold her ground. As her questions were routinely ignored by senior panelists, she decided she would no longer be sidelined. 'If someone disrespects me, I will repeat that question till they give me an answer, and everything changed,' she said. But despite her growth and resilience, Mandira admitted the underlying culture has not fully shifted even two decades later. 'When you say it was a boys' club, it still is a boys' club,' she said, recalling a recent tournament she worked on. Her experience reflects a reality many professionals, particularly women in male-dominated industries, still encounter. Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells 'This response — of self-doubt — is unfortunately all too common among women navigating workplace exclusion. Societal conditioning often teaches women to second-guess themselves, internalise criticism, and constantly strive to 'prove' their worth, even when their work speaks volumes.' A post shared by Mandira Bedi (@mandirabedi) What's important is recognising that this self-doubt isn't a personal flaw, notes Khangarot, it's a learned response to years of subtle (and not-so-subtle) invalidation. 'I remember being invited to deliver a keynote session to 500 school children aged 12-14. I was dressed in a long, colourful skirt and a formal top — nothing out of the ordinary for me, but in contrast to the sea of uniforms, I stood out. As I walked to the front, I felt those familiar voices creep in: 'Are they judging me? Am I too much?' But I chose not to listen. I delivered my session, and it was a huge success,' Khangarot recalls. She then states, 'That moment reminded me: we all have voices in our heads. Some cheer us on, others whisper doubt. But we get to choose which ones to listen to. The journey from self-doubt to self-assertion begins with that choice: to trust your voice, your presence, your work. And to stand in it fully, regardless of who's watching.' Khangarot mentions that people often take us as seriously as we take ourselves — that's my admittedly biased, but deeply held belief. The way we treat ourselves teaches others how to treat us. If we respect our time, voice, contribution, and emotional space, others learn to do the same. 'Boundaries — those invisible lines we draw around ourselves — are essential not just in friendships or family but at work too. They are a form of self-respect. When we move away from porous boundaries that let everything in, and instead begin to articulate our limits, we create space for clarity, respect, and mutual accountability. We signal that we are not to be overlooked, talked over, or dismissed,' she explains.
Indian Express
21-05-2025
- Health
- Indian Express
Does the evil eye really protect you?
The concept of the evil eye has been a part of cultural and spiritual practices for centuries, believed to ward off negativity and protect from harm. From intricately designed talismans to rituals passed down through generations, this age-old belief holds significance in many societies. But does it truly offer protection, or is it more about the comfort it provides to those who believe? To understand the appeal of the evil eye, we need to explore its historical roots and psychological implications. Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, says, 'The belief in the evil eye — a malicious gaze thought to bring harm or misfortune — has transcended centuries and cultures. Despite its mystical origins, this age-old superstition carries both historical intrigue and psychological significance. The evil eye belief is as ancient as recorded history, dating back to the Mesopotamian civilisation around 3,000 BCE. It is mentioned in Ancient Greek, Roman, and Islamic texts, often associated with envy or an evil wish.' In Greek mythology, she adds, the evil eye was considered a direct result of excessive admiration or jealousy. Similarly, in Islamic culture, the concept of 'nazar' highlights the destructive power of envy. 'Over time, cultures adapted protective rituals like wearing talismans such as the blue glass eye or hamsa hand to ward off its effects. While the form of protection varies, the underlying idea remains consistent: shielding oneself from negativity projected by others.' From a psychological standpoint, Khangarot says, believing in an evil eye can offer a sense of security and control in an unpredictable world. 'It serves as a coping mechanism, providing individuals with an explanation for misfortunes that might otherwise feel random or unjust. This belief can reduce anxiety by externalising blame, transforming bad luck into something manageable through protective charms or rituals.' In collectivist cultures, where communal harmony is prioritised, such beliefs strengthen social bonds as they emphasise collective vigilance against envy and ill intent. 'Essentially, the belief in the evil eye can function as a mental anchor, helping individuals navigate uncertainty with a semblance of control,' states Khangarot. The evil eye belief aligns symbolically with the scientific understanding of negative energy, though not literally. 'While modern psychology doesn't recognise the evil eye as a tangible force, studies suggest that envy, hostility, and negativity can influence mental and emotional well-being. Concepts like emotional contagion — where mood and energy levels are affected by others' emotions — mirror the impact attributed to the evil eye. Similarly, cognitive biases like confirmation bias — seeing what you expect to see — may make individuals more attuned to misfortunes after believing they are cursed. Thus, the concept of the evil eye serves as a metaphor for the tangible effects of social and emotional dynamics,' explains the psychotherapist. Khangarot asserts, 'Scientific evidence supporting the effectiveness of protective rituals or talismans is limited. However, their psychological impact cannot be ignored. These objects often act as placebo tools, enhancing confidence and reducing stress. Research in neuropsychology suggests that beliefs in protective rituals can trigger the brain's reward system, offering comfort and perceived safety.' That said, she mentions that it's crucial to approach such beliefs with balance. 'While talismans and rituals can provide reassurance, they shouldn't replace rational decision-making or scientific approaches to addressing challenges. Relying solely on them can lead to overgeneralising and neglecting practical solutions.'
Indian Express
21-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘I had to chase him': When Kareena Kapoor Khan revealed she pursued Shahid Kapoor for two months; how taking the lead in love affects relationships
Relationships often come with their own set of surprises, and sometimes, one partner has to take the lead in making things happen. Kareena Kapoor Khan once revealed that she was the one who actively pursued Shahid Kapoor at the beginning of their relationship. In an old episode of Koffee With Karan Season 2, the actor admitted that she had to put in quite an effort to get Shahid's attention. Karan Johar asked, 'Do you remember how it all started? Anything interesting to how he proposed to you or asked you out?' 'He did not even bother, for two months I had to chase him. I was the one who was initiating SMSs, calls, asking him to meet… He was kind of shy and finally we met up and things started, but it was me who made the first move and accelerated the relationship,' Kareena said, with Shahid sitting next to her on the couch. This challenges traditional dating norms, where men are often expected to make the first move. But how do such dynamics shape a relationship in the long run? Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist at The Answer Room, discusses how taking the lead in a relationship affects power dynamics, the role of personality types in romantic connections, and whether persistence in love is always a good thing. 'When one person takes the initiative in pursuing a romantic relationship, it can set an early pattern for how power is distributed. In some cases, the partner who leads may unconsciously take on a dominant role in decision-making, emotional labor, or relationship maintenance. This isn't inherently negative — many relationships thrive with a proactive and nurturing partner. However, if the pursuit continues to be one-sided beyond the initial phase, it may create an imbalance where one partner feels like they are always putting in more effort while the other assumes a more passive role,' Khangarot explains. A post shared by Shahid fanhood (@avinash_shahidfan) Over time, such an imbalance can lead to dissatisfaction. 'The pursuer may start feeling underappreciated, while the pursued partner may feel pressured into a relationship dynamic they never fully initiated. That said, if both partners naturally settle into roles they are comfortable with — where one is the initiator and the other is more receptive — the relationship can still function healthily. The key is ensuring mutual respect and a willingness to invest equally over time,' she adds. Kareena mentioned that Shahid was 'kind of shy,' which hints at a classic extrovert-introvert dynamic in relationships. 'Extroverts, like Kareena, tend to be more expressive, proactive, and comfortable initiating conversations, dates, or even direct romantic pursuits. Introverts, on the other hand, might take more time to open up, preferring deeper, one-on-one connections rather than grand romantic gestures,' says Khangarot. This difference often shapes how relationships begin and evolve. 'In many cases, extroverts may feel frustrated if their introverted partner isn't as forthcoming with expressions of love or emotional availability. Conversely, introverts may feel overwhelmed by an extrovert's intensity or pressure to match their level of enthusiasm. If managed well, this contrast can lead to a complementary dynamic. However, without mutual understanding, it can lead to misunderstandings or feelings of emotional mismatches,' she explains.
Indian Express
19-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
‘One person is always working': When Anushka Sharma spoke about balancing marriage with Virat Kohli amid back-to-back shoots; how busy couples can stay close
Balancing marriage and career can be challenging, especially when both partners have demanding, travel-heavy professions. Anushka Sharma once shared a revealing insight into her early days of married life with cricketer Virat Kohli. Despite being newlyweds, the two could barely spend time together. 'In fact, during the first six months of our marriage, we spent 21 days together. Yes, I actually calculated. So when I visit him overseas, it's to squeeze in that one meal together. It's precious time for us,' Anushka told Vogue India. She also addressed the assumption that such visits were all about relaxation. 'People assume when I'm visiting Virat or when he is visiting me that it's a holiday, but it's really not. One person is always working,' she clarified. In another interview with host Simi Garewal, Anushka also revealed she had decided to consciously take a break after Zero to avoid burnout. 'I wanted to take a couple of months off after Zero. After I got married, it was like a whirlwind. I was back on the sets shooting for Sui Dhaaga and later Zero. I was just working back-to-back. Whatever time I'd get, I'd try to balance and meet Virat. But I was feeling too worked up. I told my team I don't even want to read anything right now,' she said. Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells Some early signs of emotional or physical burnout in high-performing professionals often show up in subtle yet persistent ways. Emotional exhaustion is one of the first red flags—feeling chronically drained, detached, or numb even when there's no obvious trigger.' A post shared by Virat Kohli (@ Physical symptoms like headaches, disrupted sleep, frequent illnesses, or digestive issues may also surface as the body bears the brunt of constant stress. Many professionals begin to feel increasingly cynical, disconnected from their work or relationships, and may withdraw from support systems, believing others won't understand. Recognising these signs early is crucial, because burnout isn't just about overwork—it's about a chronic misalignment between what you're giving and what you're receiving emotionally, physically, and psychologically, notes the expert. Khangarot explains, 'When time together is scarce due to work and travel, emotional intimacy doesn't have to suffer—it just needs to evolve. The key is intentionality. Even brief moments can be powerful when they're mindful and emotionally attuned.' A 5-minute call or voice note every day just to ask, 'How are you feeling today?'—not just 'How was your day?'—can create a thread of emotional closeness. Whether it's a good morning text, a shared playlist, or a virtual coffee on video, these little rituals become anchors in a busy life. 'When you're apart, don't just share logistics. Share what moved you that day, what you struggled with, or a thought that made you smile. Vulnerability builds intimacy. Technology can become a lifeline—schedule date nights online, play games together, or watch the same movie while apart and discuss it after,' says Khangarot. She adds, 'When you do meet, resist the temptation to pack the time with errands or social obligations. Prioritise quality, meaningful connection over quantity.'
