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Yahoo
25-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
NY Times' ridiculous ‘heterofatalism' embrace is further evidence of sad, sickly post-Millennial outlook
Dating is hard, but blaming all men for your horrible choices is easy. A new New York Times piece, 'The Trouble With Wanting Men,' by Jean Garnett, posits that the trouble with wanting men, is … men. Like, all of them. It's part of a genre of man-hating thought pieces that turn hetero love and dating into an all-out gender war — and totally absolve women of any agency or responsibility in their relationships. There's no accountability or introspection, just the big diagnosis that men are the problem, from a woman who has decided to pursue open relationships, casual sex and situationships into middle age. It's a sad, sickly post-millennial take on 'Sex and the City' that's further evidence of just how bleak the modern romantic outlook really is. The piece, which is mostly autobiographical sexual navel-gazing, argues that many women are experiencing 'heterofatalism,' a term Garnett borrowed from UPenn academic Asa Seresin, which describes the way straight women are 'fed up with the mating behavior of men.' It's a word that reeks of misandry. Garnett's own heterofatalism manifests in lamenting with a female friend that they can't just be gay with one another and declaring that 'men are what is rotten in the state of straightness.' It also rears its ugly head when she walks past a couple holding each other close outside a subway and audibly gags. What has left this woman so hurt, so bitter, so … heterofatalistic? Well, her dating past is colorful, to put it kindly. Garnett reveals that her open marriage fell apart because she 'fell in love with another man' — in fact, 'toppled the whole structure of [her] life for a man' — who told her from the outset 'that he did not know how to 'do' relationships.' Ah, yes, the classic. Later, she reveals she sometimes brings her daughter along on dates with this man, who won't commit to anything more than a sexual relationship. She also recounts getting a text from an actual adult male who she went on a date with, reading, 'I was really looking forward to seeing you again but I'm going through some intense anxiety today and need to lay low :(.' Apparently, among her friend group, this is a common experience, and they laugh over brunch about 'men's inability to 'man up and [expletive] us.'' Garnett asks, 'Where were the men who could handle hard stuff? Like leaving the house for sex?' She alludes to being a character in 'Sex and the City' — but what about 'He's Just Not That Into You'? Who are these men she speaks of? For all the complaints I've fielded from friends about their dating lives, men failing to show up for sex is not one. Heterofatalism is just one of many academic terms Garnett cites. We also learn about complementary twoness, normative male alexithymia and emotional labor, among others. The fancy words and citations allow her to hide behind an academic facade — and avoid analyzing whether her own choices are actually what's making her so miserable. In a rare glimpse of self-awareness, she writes: 'I experience desire in terms of a struggle that someone must lose.' But this is the problem. We're not living out a gender war through our love lives. What Garnett has figured out, consciously or not, is that framing the problem as an us-versus-them situation allows her to remove the 'I' from the equation. But, guess what, lady: A lot of your problems would probably subside if you stopped — by your own admission — throwing yourself at men in the first 30 minutes of knowing them. And pursuing ones who give you yellow lights. And indulging in the romantic deathtrap that is non-monogamy. Stop blaming everyone else, straighten out your own life, and get a little agency. There are a lot of troubles with modern dating — from hookup culture to situationships, dating apps to ghosting. Women's struggles should be given a platform. But outlets like the Times seem hellbent on amplifying the voices of the most bitter and dysfunctional individuals who bring their misery upon themselves and distract from the actual issues at hand. Pieces like these bring us no closer to solving the issues that plague modern love. And they make readers want to shake the writer and say, 'Get a grip.' Is the problem all men? Or is the problem the way thatsome women choose to navigate relationships with men? Solve the daily Crossword
Daily Mirror
20-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mirror
Coronation Street fans baffled as they hear Mick actor Joe Layton's real accent
Coronation Street fans have been left in shock after hearing Mick Michaelis' actor Joe Layton's accent for the very first time - and he sounds nothing like his character Earlier this year, Coronation Street fans were introduced to new character's Mick and Lou. In their short time on the Street they've caused. Just yesterday Mick (Joe Layton) hit fan favourite Craig Tinker over the head, leaving him for dead. Just before this, the soap aired a special throwback episode on Friday 16 May, which explored the "complex history" of Kit Green. The episode, which took place in 2007, took a closer look at Kit's friendship with Mick and Lou Michaelis when they were teenagers. Behind the scenes, the actors took part in a social media video where they were tasked to name things from 2007. However, fans were more focused on Mick actor Joe's real accent, which is nothing like hic character's strong Manchester accent. "Mick sounds completely different!" exclaimed one fan, while another agreed: "Mick's real accent. Wow what an actor." A third laughed: "Mick is so posh. Perhaps he should of been played with that voice!" Joe spent years living in the US for six years where he starred in Marvel TV show Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Speaking about other roles he'd previously done, Joe said: I have worked on a bunch of Netflix and BBC shows and I also worked on an ITV show called The Trouble with Maggie Cole with Dawn French. "I also worked with Jodie Comer on Thirteen, who's really great. Most recently, I've worked on a show called Lockerbie - which isn't the Colin Firth one! I've been getting so many texts from friends saying they are about to start it but there's two - and I think this one will come out later this year." Despite only joining the soap earlier this year, it was recently announced that Mick and Lou would be leaving the Cobbles this summer as part of an explosive storyline. The quick departures had always been planned, with the characters only brought in for a particular storyline. Addressing the claims about his sudden exit and denying it was a shock for anyone, he told us: "I knew about it from when the casting came through from my agent, so even for the prep for the tape you take a dive into the psychology of him, how you inhabit these kind of head spaces. I think for me, the opportunity to step into Corrie for six months with a start and a finish point is a real gift."
