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Becoming a Bodybuilder at 50 Showed Me That Women Were Never Meant to be Thin
This summer I'll step onstage to compete as a professional athlete for the first time—at 50. I'll wear a fuchsia bikini small enough to fit in a Ziplock bag, pose and flex in clear heels, and strike a smile while my muscles glisten under layers of spray tan.
I'm a bodybuilder. This is my third season competing, but my first as a pro.
I came to the sport six years ago, after a string of losses—the death of my father, the end of my marriage, and a spiral into depression and alcohol. A spontaneous conversation with a woman in a hotel gym set me on a different path. Soon, I found a coach—a retired bodybuilder in Bowie, Md., named Tina Peratino—who flipped everything I thought I knew about fitness, food, and the female ideal: First, women should eat more (and better) food. Second, carbs won't make you fat. And above all, lifting heavy won't make you bulky—it will make you powerful.
I had spent decades chasing thinness—eating less, running more, and trying to shrink. But in my new orbit of athletes, powerlifters, and bodybuilders who embraced the 'moreness' of muscle, I began to want something different.
Lifting heavy and eating more—not less—reshaped not just my body but my mind. I stopped craving alcohol. I spoke up more at work. I stood taller. I even made a dating profile—and met my partner.
The shift— better food, heavy weights, little to no cardio—was so transformative, both physically and mentally, that the journalist in me had to dig deeper. I spent four years researching the science and history of women's bodies, the overlooked power of muscle, and why the real answer to better health, longevity, and quality of life lies in building—not shrinking—ourselves. What I found revealed that muscular strength is a vital, long-overlooked key to women's health and longevity. We've been taught to disappear, but our true power lies in taking up space.
Women were never meant to be thin
When anthropology professor Alison Murray was studying prehistoric human remains at the University of Cambridge, she made a startling discovery about women's bodies: They were buff. When comparing prehistoric women to modern ones, Murray found their bone structure most closely resembled that of today's elite rowers—evidence of regular, load-bearing activity and a sign that women played a major role in the development of agriculture.
In fact, for most of human history, women weren't meant to be thin; they were meant to be strong. Neolithic women had arm bones 11 to 16% stronger than the rowers to 30% greater than typical Cambridge student s, according to a 2017 study. Bronze Age women showed a similar pattern, with arm bones up to 13% stronger than rowers. Our cultural obsession with thinness is a relatively recent invention, born of fashion, patriarchy, and postwar consumerism. When food became more accessible, especially in Western cultures, thinness replaced fullness as a marker of status and self-discipline. It began in the late 19th century, with new warnings about 'corpulence,' the dawn of dieting as a moral virtue, and the invention and rise of the calorie, all of which paved the way for modern food restriction.
Women are built to last
Today, the conversation around longevity—especially among men—is booming. But despite the manosphere's headline-grabbing blood swaps, women quietly hold the real advantage when it comes to living longer. Across time and cultures, women have consistently outlived men by 5 to 20%, says Steven Austad, scientific director of the American Federation for Aging Research. The global life expectancy at birth for a woman is 76 compared with 71 for a man. About three-fourths of centenarians are women.
The reasons aren't fully understood—theories include the possibility of a more responsive immune system, an additional X chromosome or the idea that mothering makes women robust—but the pattern is clear.
And when it comes to strength, women possess a different kind of power. Yes, men typically have more upper-body muscle and larger hearts. But studies show women are often more resilient. Sandra Hunter, chair of movement science in the School of Kinesiology at the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor has found that women can better withstand muscle fatigue. In fact, Hunter points to a 2016 review of more than 55 fatigue studies that concluded that, on average, women outlasted men by 36%.
The emerging science paints a clearer picture: women are not the weaker sex. We're just built differently—and to last.
The cultural swing back to skinny
Bursts of the 'return to skinny' have always surfaced at pivotal moments — right when women are on the brink of claiming more power. It's no coincidence. The flapper look took hold in the 1920s just as women won the right to vote — a new, boyish silhouette for a new kind of woman, one who was suddenly politically powerful. In the 1960s, Twiggy's thin, androgynous frame became the face of fashion right as the women's liberation movement was gaining traction, challenging traditional roles and demanding equality. In the 1990s, heroin chic surged in popularity as women flooded law schools, boardrooms, and newsrooms in record numbers — a visual counterpunch to female ambition.
And now, at a moment when women are redefining aging, owning their midlife, and fighting urgently for reproductive autonomy, the rise of GLP-1 weight-loss drugs feels eerily familiar. Each wave of skinny fixation has echoed like a cultural recoil — a shrinking aesthetic that emerges just as women expand their influence
But something is shifting. This time, resistance is coming from midlife women—especially those in menopause—who are rejecting the idea that their power fades with age. Halle Berry has publicly shared that she was misdiagnosed with herpes when she was going through menopause–an experience that formed the basis for her new company to educate women. Midi Health CEO Joanna Strober founded her company to serve women navigating midlife hormonal transitions—like the one she was going through—and whose symptoms had long been dismissed. The menopause industry, fueled by a range of supplements and other products, is now estimated to be worth over $17 billion.
Gyms are taking notice. Crunch Fitness, with over 400 locations nationwide and a membership that's 55% women, is cutting its supply of cardio machines in half to make room for free weights. CEO Jim Rowley believes young people following 'gymfluencers' instead of supermodels are leading the way. 'Today's young women 18-to-34 are strong and social,' he said in a recent interview. ''Skinny' is not where it's at.'
Life Time Inc., a chain of upscale health clubs, reports a one-third reduction in cardio equipment in favor of weights and resistance machines. Orangetheory Fitness, whose members are three-fourths women, has introduced strength-only classes alongside its signature cardio and strength blends. Peloton, too, has launched Strength+, a standalone app untethered from its iconic cardio machines.
Peloton instructor Tunde Oyeneyin, who recently debuted a four-week 'Upper Body with Tunde' program, believes more women are embracing strength as an act of reclamation. She used to hide her muscular arms, she says. Now, women admire them.
And when she catches herself envying a thinner woman at the gym, she says she reminds herself of what she can do—throwing a heavy weight overhead.'And I'll say, 'But can she do that?''
