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Sydney Morning Herald
25-04-2025
- Sydney Morning Herald
‘Is she going to hug me?' The moment that brought a mass killer to tears
After a self-described white supremacist fatally shot nine people at a Black church in Charleston, South Carolina, in 2015, several family members of the victims forgave the shooter. A similar scene played out in 2019, when the brother of Botham Jean hugged the police officer who had killed him, igniting fresh debate over expectations that people of colour forgive their aggressors. Robert Moore, who founded El Paso Matters and previously reported on the El Paso shooting for The Washington Post, said Tinajero's embrace on Tuesday left the courtroom – 'the security personnel, the families, the media, the judge' – weeping. 'I've never been in the position of having to report a story while sobbing uncontrollably,' Moore told the Post. The hearing felt cathartic for the city, he said. Tinajero told the defendant that he had been wrong about El Paso. She said there was no 'Hispanic invasion of Texas', as he had believed; the city was simply welcoming people who would have opened their doors to him and offered him a Mexican meal. 'Your ugly thoughts of us that have been instilled in you would have turned around' had they broken bread together, Tinajero said, according to Moore's dispatch. Not everyone expressed mercy. Other family members of victims wished the defendant misery as he serves his life sentence in prison. Francisco Rodriguez, father of 15-year-old Javier Ramirez, the youngest person killed, repeatedly demanded that the defendant look at him and at his son's picture, Moore recalled. 'I wish I could just get five minutes with you – me and you – and get all of this, get it over with,' Rodriguez said during his victim impact statement, according to the Associated Press. Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, which studies the effects of forgiveness on health, said forgiveness is a response to 'unmerited suffering' that lets someone release resentment, blame and self-pity. But it's not a shortcut to avoiding pain, he added. 'Forgiveness often necessitates real pain and suffering before one releases it,' Luskin said. People of colour are often not given the space to go through that, said Jemar Tisby, a history professor at Simmons College of Kentucky. Instead, he said, they're expected to quickly absolve those who have wronged them. That pressure, he said, denies their humanity by blocking the grieving process: sadness, anger, despair. Tisby said that when he learnt that Tinajero had forgiven the man who murdered her brother, he thought of the outpouring of support for Botham Jean's brother, Brandt, when he hugged Amber Guyger. Senator Ted Cruz and former United Nations ambassador Nikki Haley praised the embrace at the time as an act of 'Christian love' and an 'amazing example of faith, love and forgiveness'. But Tisby saw it as another instance in a long history of Black people giving White people quick absolution for perpetrating horrific wrongs. 'People of colour are not often given space for those [negative] emotions,' Tisby said. Loading Since the El Paso shooting, Moore, the journalist, said the victims' family members have expressed that 'the act of forgiveness meant that the gunman no longer had any power over their lives'. Spencer, the defence lawyer, said that of the dozens of people who gave impact statements this week, 14 offered forgiveness to the defendant. Two asked to hug him. 'The graciousness that these victims showed, the forgiveness and the love – I'll be honest, if I were a victim I don't know if I'd be as gracious,' Spencer said. 'I pray to God that I would be. But I don't know.' After Tinajero hugged the defendant, Adriana Zandri, whose husband Ivan Manzano was killed in the shooting, asked to do the same. The defendant, Moore said, knew about Zandri's request in advance. When she reached for him he embraced her with his wrists in shackles. Loading Minutes later the judge asked the bailiff to escort the defendant from the courtroom. 'To have the last act of the court process being this amazing act of mercy,' Moore said, 'it was just such an El Paso moment.'
The Age
25-04-2025
- The Age
‘Is she going to hug me?' The moment that brought a mass killer to tears
After a self-described white supremacist fatally shot nine people at a Black church in Charleston, South Carolina, in 2015, several family members of the victims forgave the shooter. A similar scene played out in 2019, when the brother of Botham Jean hugged the police officer who had killed him, igniting fresh debate over expectations that people of colour forgive their aggressors. Robert Moore, who founded El Paso Matters and previously reported on the El Paso shooting for The Washington Post, said Tinajero's embrace on Tuesday left the courtroom – 'the security personnel, the families, the media, the judge' – weeping. 'I've never been in the position of having to report a story while sobbing uncontrollably,' Moore told the Post. The hearing felt cathartic for the city, he said. Tinajero told the defendant that he had been wrong about El Paso. She said there was no 'Hispanic invasion of Texas', as he had believed; the city was simply welcoming people who would have opened their doors to him and offered him a Mexican meal. 'Your ugly thoughts of us that have been instilled in you would have turned around' had they broken bread together, Tinajero said, according to Moore's dispatch. Not everyone expressed mercy. Other family members of victims wished the defendant misery as he serves his life sentence in prison. Francisco Rodriguez, father of 15-year-old Javier Ramirez, the youngest person killed, repeatedly demanded that the defendant look at him and at his son's picture, Moore recalled. 'I wish I could just get five minutes with you – me and you – and get all of this, get it over with,' Rodriguez said during his victim impact statement, according to the Associated Press. Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, which studies the effects of forgiveness on health, said forgiveness is a response to 'unmerited suffering' that lets someone release resentment, blame and self-pity. But it's not a shortcut to avoiding pain, he added. 'Forgiveness often necessitates real pain and suffering before one releases it,' Luskin said. People of colour are often not given the space to go through that, said Jemar Tisby, a history professor at Simmons College of Kentucky. Instead, he said, they're expected to quickly absolve those who have wronged them. That pressure, he said, denies their humanity by blocking the grieving process: sadness, anger, despair. Tisby said that when he learnt that Tinajero had forgiven the man who murdered her brother, he thought of the outpouring of support for Botham Jean's brother, Brandt, when he hugged Amber Guyger. Senator Ted Cruz and former United Nations ambassador Nikki Haley praised the embrace at the time as an act of 'Christian love' and an 'amazing example of faith, love and forgiveness'. But Tisby saw it as another instance in a long history of Black people giving White people quick absolution for perpetrating horrific wrongs. 'People of colour are not often given space for those [negative] emotions,' Tisby said. Loading Since the El Paso shooting, Moore, the journalist, said the victims' family members have expressed that 'the act of forgiveness meant that the gunman no longer had any power over their lives'. Spencer, the defence lawyer, said that of the dozens of people who gave impact statements this week, 14 offered forgiveness to the defendant. Two asked to hug him. 'The graciousness that these victims showed, the forgiveness and the love – I'll be honest, if I were a victim I don't know if I'd be as gracious,' Spencer said. 'I pray to God that I would be. But I don't know.' After Tinajero hugged the defendant, Adriana Zandri, whose husband Ivan Manzano was killed in the shooting, asked to do the same. The defendant, Moore said, knew about Zandri's request in advance. When she reached for him he embraced her with his wrists in shackles. Loading Minutes later the judge asked the bailiff to escort the defendant from the courtroom. 'To have the last act of the court process being this amazing act of mercy,' Moore said, 'it was just such an El Paso moment.'
Boston Globe
24-04-2025
- Politics
- Boston Globe
He murdered their loved ones. Their response: Forgiveness — and a hug.
Even defendant Patrick Crusius was caught off guard, said his attorney Joe Spencer. As Tinajero approached, the defendant whispered to Spencer's co-counsel, 'Is she going to hug me?' Advertisement 'His confusion was, 'Why would she want to do that?'' Spencer told The Washington Post. Get Starting Point A guide through the most important stories of the morning, delivered Monday through Friday. Enter Email Sign Up But when the defendant saw 'love, not anger' on Tinajero's face, Spencer said, and Tinajero held him tight, 'I think that's when it hit him.' Since his arrest, Spencer said, the defendant had hardly ever shown emotion. But when Tinajero hugged him, Spencer saw his client turn his head away with tears in his eyes. The stunning courtroom scene, closing the judicial chapter of one of the deadliest mass killings in US history, comes as the kind of anti-immigrant rhetoric that Spencer said inspired his client — including from President Trump — reverberates at the highest levels of politics. Amid the tension, the act of forgiveness remains divisive. Advertisement After a self-described white supremacist fatally shot nine people at a Black church in Charleston, S.C., in 2015, several family members of the victims forgave the shooter. A similar scene played out in 2019, when the brother of Botham Jean hugged the police officer who had killed him, igniting fresh debate over expectations that people of color forgive their aggressors. Robert Moore, who founded El Paso Matters and previously reported on the El Paso shooting for The Post, said Tinajero's embrace on Tuesday left the courtroom — 'the security personnel, the families, the media, the judge' — weeping. 'I've never been in the position of having to report a story while sobbing uncontrollably,' Moore told The Post. The hearing felt cathartic for the city, he said. Tinajero told the defendant that he had been wrong about El Paso. She said there was no 'Hispanic invasion of Texas,' as he had believed; the city was simply welcoming people who would have opened their doors to him and offered him a Mexican meal. 'Your ugly thoughts of us that have been instilled in you would have turned around' had they broken bread together, Tinajero said, according to Moore's dispatch. Not everyone expressed mercy. Other family members of victims wished the defendant misery as he serves his life sentence in prison. Francisco Rodriguez, father of 15-year-old Javier Ramirez, the youngest person killed, repeatedly demanded that the defendant look at him and at his son's picture, Moore recalled. 'I wish I could just get five minutes with you — me and you — and get all of this, get it over with,' Rodriguez said during his victim impact statement, according to The Associated Press. Advertisement Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, which studies the effects of forgiveness on health, said forgiveness is a response to 'unmerited suffering,' that lets someone release resentment, blame, and self-pity. But it's not a shortcut to avoiding pain, he added. 'Forgiveness often necessitates real pain and suffering before one releases it,' Luskin said. People of color are often not given the space to go through that, said Jemar Tisby, a history professor at Simmons College of Kentucky. Instead, he said, they're expected to quickly absolve those who have wronged them. That pressure, he said, denies their humanity by blocking the grieving process: sadness, anger, despair. Tisby said that when he learned that Tinajero had forgiven the man who murdered her brother, he thought of the outpouring of support for Botham Jean's brother, Brandt, when he hugged Amber Guyger. Republican Senator Ted Cruz of Texas and former UN ambassador Nikki Haley praised the embrace at the time as an act of 'Christian love' and an 'amazing example of faith, love, and forgiveness.' But Tisby saw it as another instance in a long history of Black people giving White people quick absolution for perpetrating horrific wrongs. 'People of color are not often given space for those [negative] emotions,' Tisby said. Since the El Paso shooting, Moore, the journalist, said the victims' family members have expressed that 'the act of forgiveness meant that the gunman no longer had any power over their lives.' Spencer, the defense attorney, said that of the dozens of people who gave impact statements this week, 14 offered forgiveness to the defendant. Two asked to hug him. 'The graciousness that these victims showed, the forgiveness, and the love - I'll be honest, if I were a victim, I don't know if I'd be as gracious,' Spencer said. 'I pray to God that I would be. But I don't know.' Advertisement After Tinajero hugged the defendant, Adriana Zandri, whose husband, Ivan Manzano, was killed in the shooting, asked to do the same. The defendant, Moore said, knew about Zandri's request in advance. When she reached for him, he embraced her with his wrists in shackles. Minutes later, the judge asked the bailiff to escort the defendant from the courtroom. 'To have the last act of the court process being this amazing act of mercy,' Moore said, 'it was just such an El Paso moment.'
7NEWS
24-04-2025
- 7NEWS
Loved ones of shooting victims make jaw-dropping gesture for killer in US courtroom
Speaking to the gunman who killed her brother and 22 other people, Yolanda Tinajero did not raise her voice or condemn him for his racist attack at a Walmart in 2019. Instead she told him Tuesday that she forgave him, and wished she could give him a hug. The judge, in a surprising turn in an El Paso courtroom, allowed her to do just that. Their brief embrace — while Patrick Crusius was still shackled — was among many emotionally charged moments during two days of impact statements given by victims' family members and survivors. Some described their pain and devastation while others assured him the community had met his hatred with love and unity. Later, another person also hugged the man who pleaded guilty in one of the deadliest mass shootings in the US. Crusius, a white community college dropout, had posted online a screed about a Hispanic invasion of Texas before opening fire with an AK-style rifle at the store near the US-Mexico border on August 3, 2019. Crusius didn't address the families and survivors at his plea hearing Monday. He will serve multiple life sentences after pleading guilty to capital murder and 22 counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. 'We would have opened our doors to you to share a meal, breakfast lunch or dinner, Mexican-style, so then your ugly thoughts of us that have been instilled in you would have turned around,' Tinajero told him. 'Hug you very tight' Tinajero said her brother, 60-year-old Arturo Benavides, was a 'kind, sweet-hearted person', whose wife of over 30 years is broken hearted over her loss. 'Now she lives alone in their home full of memories that she can't forget,' she said. 'I feel in my heart, to hug you very tight so you could feel my forgiveness, especially my loss, but I know it's not allowed,' Tinajero said. 'I want you to see and feel all of us who have been impacted by your actions.' Later, the judge asked her: 'Ma'am, would it truly bring you peace and comfort if you could hug him?' 'Yes,' she replied. Her daughter, Melissa Tinajero, told reporters: 'I don't know how she was able to do it. I could not do that. But she showed him something he could not show his victims.' When Adriana Zandri learned about the hug, she asked to do the same. On Monday, she had delivered her victim impact statement, speaking about the devastating loss of her husband, Ivan Filiberto Manzano. 'I'd like to ask permission, on behalf of myself and my children, to hug Mr Patrick,' she said in Spanish. Judge Medrano responded, 'Ma'am, would that help you and your family find comfort, peace, and healing?' 'Yes, sir,' Zandri replied. She then crossed the courtroom, accompanied closely by several security officers. Crusius, who had been informed of her request beforehand, embraced her as best he could with his hands in shackles. 'A survivor, not a victim' Stephanie Melendez told Crusius that she did not want to address him but rather read a letter to her father, 63-year-old David Johnson, who was killed when he shielded his wife and 9-year-old granddaughter from the gunfire. Melendez thanked her father for making her study, giving her a curfew and telling her when she was 16 that she needed to get a job. 'You made me into the strong woman I am today,' she said. Her daughter, Kaitlyn Melendez, now 14, told Crusius: 'I am a survivor, not a victim.' 'I'm going to walk out these doors and move forward with my life and not let you haunt me anymore.' 'A disgrace to humanity' Dean Reckard, whose 63-year-old mother Margie Reckard was among those killed, expressed anger and forgiveness as he addressed Crusius. 'You're a disgrace to humanity and to your family,' Reckard said, adding that he hopes Crusius wakes up each morning wishing he were dead. But Reckard also said he forgave the gunman who will spend the rest of his life behind bars. 'In order to be forgiving, you have to forgive others,' he said. 'That's the only reason I forgive you. May God have mercy on your soul.' Thousands of people attended Margie Reckard's funeral after her partner of 22 years, Antonio Basco, invited the public to the service, saying he felt alone after her death. 'Left me sad, bitter' Liliana Munoz of Ciudad Juárez, Mexico, said in court Monday that she was shopping for snacks when Crusius opened fire, forever changing her life physically, economically and emotionally. In her statement, she said she used to be a 'happy, dancing person,' but now is afraid every morning when she awakes. Since she was shot, she has had to use a cane to walk and wears a leg brace to keep her left foot from dragging. 'It left me sad, bitter,' said the 41-year-old mother. She also granted Crusius forgiveness. 'You brought us together' Javier Rodriguez was 15 and starting his sophomore year in high school when he was shot and killed at a bank in Walmart. On Tuesday his father Francisco Rodriguez shouted at Crusius: 'Look at me, I'm talking to you.' He told Crusius that he and his family have to go to the cemetery to commemorate his son's birthday. 'I wish I could just get five minutes with you — me and you — and get all of this, get it over with,' he said. But Rodriguez also referred to comments made about Crusius' impact on El Paso during his sentencing. 'Like the judge said yesterday, you came down to El Paso with the intention of tearing us apart, but all you did, you brought us together,' he said.
Yahoo
23-04-2025
- Yahoo
Woman hugs man who fatally shot her brother, 22 more in racist Walmart attack
Speaking to the gunman who killed her brother and 22 other people, Yolanda Tinajero did not raise her voice or condemn him for his racist attack at a Walmart in 2019. Instead she told him Tuesday that she forgave him, and wished she could give him a hug. The judge, in a surprising turn in an El Paso courtroom, allowed her to do just that. Their brief embrace — while Patrick Crusius was still shackled — was among many emotionally charged moments during two days of impact statements given by victims' family members and survivors. Some described their pain and devastation while others assured him the community had met his hatred with love and unity. Later, another person also hugged the man who pleaded guilty in one of the deadliest mass shootings in the U.S. Crusius, a white community college dropout, had posted online a screed about a Hispanic invasion of Texas before opening fire with an AK-style rifle at the store near the U.S.-Mexico border on Aug. 3, 2019. Crusius didn't address the families and survivors at his plea hearing Monday. He will serve multiple life sentences after pleading guilty to capital murder and 22 counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. 'We would have opened our doors to you to share a meal, breakfast lunch or dinner, Mexican-style, so then your ugly thoughts of us that have been instilled in you would have turned around,' Tinajero told him. Tinajero said her brother, 60-year-old Arturo Benavides, was a 'kind, sweet-hearted person,' whose wife of over 30 years is broken hearted over her loss. 'Now she lives alone in their home full of memories that she can't forget,' she said. 'I feel in my heart, to hug you very tight so you could feel my forgiveness, especially my loss, but I know it's not allowed,' Tinajero said. 'I want you to see and feel all of us who have been impacted by your actions.' Later, the judge asked her: 'Ma'am, would it truly bring you peace and comfort if you could hug him?' 'Yes," she replied. Her daughter, Melissa Tinajero, told reporters: 'I don't know how she was able to do it. I could not do that. But she showed him something he could not show his victims.' Stephanie Melendez told Crusius that she did not want to address him but rather read a letter to her father, 63-year-old David Johnson, who was killed when he shielded his wife and 9-year-old granddaughter from the gunfire. Melendez thanked her father for making her study, giving her a curfew and telling her when she was 16 that she needed to get a job. 'You made me into the strong woman I am today,' she said. Her daughter, Kaitlyn Melendez, now 14, told Crusius: 'I am a survivor, not a victim.' 'I'm going to walk out these doors and move forward with my life and not let you haunt me anymore.' Dean Reckard, whose 63-year-old mother Margie Reckard was among those killed, expressed anger and forgiveness as he addressed Crusius. 'You're a disgrace to humanity and to your family,' Reckard said, adding that he hopes Crusius wakes up each morning wishing he were dead. But Reckard also said he forgave the gunman who will spend the rest of his life behind bars. 'In order to be forgiving, you have to forgive others,' he said. 'That's the only reason I forgive you. May God have mercy on your soul.' Thousands of people attended Margie Reckard's funeral after her partner of 22 years, Antonio Basco, invited the public to the service, saying he felt alone after her death. Liliana Munoz of Ciudad Juárez, Mexico, said in court Monday that she was shopping for snacks when Crusius opened fire, forever changing her life physically, economically and emotionally. In her statement, she said she used to be a 'happy, dancing person,' but now is afraid every morning when she awakes. Since she was shot, she has had to use a cane to walk and wears a leg brace to keep her left foot from dragging. 'It left me sad, bitter,' said the 41-year-old mother. She also granted Crusius forgiveness. Javier Rodriguez was 15 and starting his sophomore year in high school when he was shot and killed at a bank in Walmart. On Tuesday his father Francisco Rodriguez shouted at Crusius: 'Look at me, I'm talking to you.' He told Crusius that he and his family have to go to the cemetery to commemorate his son's birthday. 'I wish I could just get five minutes with you — me and you — and get all of this, get it over with,' he said. But Rodriguez also referred to comments made about Crusius' impact on El Paso during his sentencing. 'Like the judge said yesterday, you came down to El Paso with the intention of tearing us apart, but all you did, you brought us together,' he said. Download the FREE Boston 25 News app for breaking news alerts. Follow Boston 25 News on Facebook and Twitter. | Watch Boston 25 News NOW
