6 days ago
Siblings Who Get Along Have This 1 Thing in Common, According to an Expert
If you've ever watched a pair of siblings laughing over an inside joke, backing each other up at the dinner table, or navigating life with the seamless shorthand of best friends, you might assume it's the luck of the genetic draw. But look a little closer, and you'll often find something else at work, says Tonnie Weatherspoon, a parenting coach in Atlanta.
'Of course, chemistry plays a role in it for sure. Some kids will just naturally get along,' Weatherspoon tells 'But parents are the conductors of the family universe. And their job is to intentionally teach their sons and daughters how to engage with one another lovingly and respectfully, even when personalities clash.'
'If the children are fighting all the time, that's a sign of poor leadership,' she adds.
After Weatherspoon shared her theory on Instagram, commenters chimed in with stories of their own, saying their parents had taken a similar approach, and that it worked. 'To the point where the 4 of us bought a house together and we live with each other instead of renting separately until we get married,' one person wrote.
How to Build Healthy Sibling Relationships
In the clip, Weatherspoon outlines several strategies for helping children build and maintain healthy relationships with their siblings.
To cultivate mutual appreciation and joy in each other's successes, Weatherspoon recommends creating opportunities for siblings to celebrate one another, such as involving them in the selection of birthday gifts. She also encourages parents to recognize and reinforce positive behavior by pointing out moments when children show kindness. One essential tactic, she says, is using affirming language like 'I love how you two work together,' to strengthen emotional connection.
During conflicts, name-calling and hitting are off limits.
'We don't fight it out,' explains Weatherspoon, a mother of six, noting that her now adult children were not allowed to play with friends until they had resolved their disputes with each other."
Weatherspoon was inundated with reactions from followers, many echoing her message:
'My parents and my grandparents did the opposite and created enemies. By not treating fairly and playing against each other. I felt robbed of this my whole childhood! This generational 'curse' has been broken with my four children. We tell them daily, these are YOUR best friends! For life!'
"I have 3 little sisters and my parents did an amazing job cultivating our relationship we love and respect each other so much. My little soulmates.'
'My siblings and I are super close. In hindsight mom did everything here.'
'As parents, I think we underestimate how powerful we are in our children's lives,' Weatherspoon tells TODAY. 'When parents think that sibling relationships are just chance, I believe that's a way of avoiding responsibly for the condition of the family.'
This article was originally published on
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