14-07-2025
What To Do When A Loved One Is Diagnosed With A Terminal Illness.
Closeup of young people holding hands trust comfort help cancer patients talk crying stress relief ... More in living room at home. Healthcare concept.
When a loved one receives a terminal illness diagnosis, families face emotional upheaval and crucial decisions. It's a challenging time, marked by urgency—not only for medical care but also for financial, legal, and legacy planning. These steps are vital to preserve dignity, reduce conflict, and ensure that your loved one's wishes are honored.
Drawing on my experience as a Trusts and Estates attorney, here is a comprehensive guide for navigating the complexities that follow a terminal diagnosis. These essential actions support the patient and prepare their spouse or adult children for the weeks and months ahead.
1. Review and Update Estate Planning Documents
Outdated or incomplete documents can create legal bottlenecks. For instance, a twenty year old will and trust should be updated to align with the current family structure and tax goals.
2. Check Beneficiary Designations and Access to Accounts
Beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and life insurance policies override what's written in a will. Confirm that:
If the patient holds crypto or NFTs, ensure someone knows where the assets are stored and how to retrieve them to prevent loss.
3. Confirm Financial Authority Through a Valid Power of Attorney
Without a valid DPOA, families may need to seek court-appointed guardianship—an expensive and time-consuming process. If the DPOA is outdated, banks or brokerages may refuse to honor it. Ensure the appointed individual is ready and informed, especially regarding assets titled solely in the patient's name.
4. Discuss Burial and Funeral Preferences
Though uncomfortable, discussing funeral preferences and the disposition of remains is an act of kindness. Considerations include:
Documenting these preferences avoids family conflict and uncertainty in the immediate days following death.
5. Create an Asset Inventory and Clarify Ownership
Families benefit from a comprehensive inventory of:
If the individual owns a company, transferring non-voting shares to children or successors can reduce estate tax exposure and ensure continuity.
6. Keep the Advisory Team in the Loop
Inform your CPA, estate attorney, financial advisor, and insurance agent. This team can assist with:
Having all professionals aligned is especially critical if the patient has complex assets or resides in a high-tax state like Massachusetts.
7. Provide for the Caregiver
Spouses and adult children often assume caregiving roles that can stretch physical, emotional, and financial limits. Consider:
Caregiving plans should be as clear and realistic as the medical and legal ones.
8. Educate and Involve the Next Generation
Include children and other heirs in the planning conversation. Help them:
Transparency today reduces confusion and conflict tomorrow.
9. Capture Legacy Beyond the Legal Documents
Consider what can't be passed through a will:
These legacy items often become the most treasured family heirlooms, providing meaning and healing long after the paperwork is settled.
Final Thoughts: Planning Is a Gift
A terminal diagnosis is devastating, but it presents an opportunity for clarity, connection, and legacy. By taking these legal, financial, and personal steps, you give your loved one control over their final chapter, and peace of mind for those who will carry on. Don't wait—engage your advisors, update your documents, and have the conversations that matter. Planning is not about giving up—it's about giving meaning to every moment that remains.
