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Boston Globe

The art of mending: ‘I cannot repair a broken . . . relationship with a strained family member, but I can darn a sock.'

Get Love Letters: The Newsletter A weekly dispatch with all the best relationship content and commentary – plus exclusive content for fans of Love Letters, Dinner With Cupid, weddings, therapy talk, and more. Enter Email Sign Up Everett had been studying mending in 2018 when she met Vernée Peacock Wilkinson, of Boston, and the two felt a strong bond. Both lifelong sewing practitioners, they teamed up to teach an online sewing course early in the pandemic, when they began to ruminate on the historic role of mending as 'women's work,' and how that was emphasized in early COVID times through mask-making. Together, they founded Mending Church as a way to formalize sharing what Everett called the 'embodied practice' of mending with others. Advertisement 'The world can be breaking. My heart can be breaking. My relationships can be breaking,' said Everett. She said that for white people who attempt to think about racism and social justice, it can be common to intellectualize the practice without — especially in New England — feeling that gravity in their bodies. 'I know my prayers are stronger when I can see the pin-pricks and feel them on my fingers because I've been stitching,' she said. Advertisement At the MassArt DMC atrium in Boston on July 2, Vernée Peacock Wilkinson works on a stitch. David L Ryan/ Globe Staff Around Boston, practitioners attend repair workshops at public library-based Using a 'I really love where it's asking, 'Am I going to be putting this back into use?'' she said. 'When you evaluate a relationship and you're working on some form of repair, is it a healthy relationship that has the foundation and can rebound from a misstep or a misunderstanding, or has the damage come to a point where it needs to be assessed?' In addition to mending workshops, the duo also works with indigo plant dye as a way to point to reparations work. Indigo was Advertisement The group aims to go deeper than a traditional crafting social. 'There's lots of places in life where someone can go and learn how to stitch,' said Wilkinson. 'But there's not many spaces where people are coming together to think about what that also means internally.' The metaphors flow beyond the mending process itself, especially when using intentionally visible mending methods. Some mending styles aim to be seamless, but visible mending may showcase stitches by using contrasting colors, for example. Rasaan Miller works on a stitch. David L Ryan/ Globe Staff 'Repair doesn't mean perfection,' said Peacock. 'There still might be scars on the other side; that doesn't mean we didn't do repair.' 'It shows a history of the garment, and maybe you have more of a relationship with it, rather than thinking of it as something you just discard,' said Sugimori. 'It's something that is worth maintaining and keeping.' How might something be deemed unworthy of repair? For Sugimori, sustainability is a motivator, so 'downcycling' a garment might be a way to find a new use without tossing it completely. For example, a pair of bicycling pants too full of holes to function could evolve into patches for something else, and in doing so, allow sentimental connections to the garment to live on. 'Is that repairing, or is it re-creating something new?' she posed. Advertisement A table is set up in the MassArt DMC atrium on July 2 for mending. Those who practice mending seek a sustainable way to maintain a long-term relationship with their clothing and goods. David L Ryan/ Globe Staff Mending can inspire resilience during turbulent economic and political times, suggested 'In the current context, where it seems like many things are going to get more expensive, there's going to be more disruptions in in the economy and the supply chain, the ability to fix what we already have access to, to share what we have and be able to alter it in ways that work for other people is going to be increasingly important,' she said. She loves visible mending because it can appear defiant. 'In a culture that really demands and expects perfection, that expects our bodies to look a certain way, [visible mending] says, 'Oh no, I'm gonna put a bright orange patch on this purple sweater,'' she said. In Providence, artist 'People bring me really loved things that they would otherwise just throw into a landfill,' she said. (While 'People have relationships with their clothing,' she said. 'I like to think clothing is kind of like our second skin, and our bodies age, and our skin gets older, and it changes and it grows.' Grinder points to a sweater that was given to her by her father years ago. 'Every time it gets a new hole, I get really excited because I get to add another patch to it, and I get to look back and see patches that I did when I was as early as, like 16, 17 [years old],' she said. 'It's kind of like a wearable testament to my age.' Advertisement Grinder, who has worked in clothing manufacturing, said there is no clothing made without human hands in some way, despite the prevalence of machines. 'To me, it is respecting not only my time and handiwork, but respecting the handiwork of other people who I don't know, but I know made my clothes,' she said. And over time, other threads can emerge. At the MassArt DMC atrium in Boston on July 2, the Rev. Laura Everett gets ready to start her mending. David L Ryan/ Globe Staff 'I think it's made me consider how I approach problems,' she said. 'It's made me rethink, from what point do I begin fixing an issue?' Her repair work has inspired Grinder to slow down and not rush for a solution in interpersonal conflicts. And it's just like patching a sweater. 'You can't just start patching at the corners, at the little frayed edges,' said Grinder. 'You have to take a step back and really think through your actions. . . . I have at least one old man at the market who comes by and asks me if I can mend his broken heart, too.' It is probably true that not everything can be fixed. But for the things — and people — we deem worthy of our devotion, some argue that learning to repair is a worthwhile and necessary practice. And while what we fix may no longer be the same, it might, after all, become better.