Latest news with #WesternCulture
Washington Post
4 days ago
- General
- Washington Post
Miss Manners: Should women initiate marriage proposals more often?
Dear Miss Manners: Relative to the long-standing tradition of men proposing marriage to women, and in this day of slow (but hopefully inexorable) movement toward gender equity, I wonder if the percent of marriage proposals initiated by women has increased. Should it? Sure, it should. In a sensible world, it would hardly matter which half of a couple suggested getting married.
Irish Times
6 days ago
- General
- Irish Times
How did European identity develop? Three authors take on colonialism, imperialism and witchcraft
Esotericism in Western Culture: Counter-Normativity and Rejected Knowledge Author : Wouter J. Hanegraaff ISBN-13 : 978-1350459694 Publisher : Bloomsbury Academic Guideline Price : £ 21.99 Shamanism: The Timeless Religion Author : Manvir Singh ISBN-13 : 978-0241638415 Publisher : Allen Lane Guideline Price : £25 The Witch Studies Reader Author : Edited by Soma Chaudhuri and Jane Ward ISBN-13 : 978-1478031352 Publisher : Duke University Press Books Guideline Price : £23.99 Our ongoing tendency, based on a long history , in Western culture and the Global North to marginalise knowledge, beliefs and practices that don't serve our dominant power paradigms, gets a stunningly well-researched shakedown with three monumental academic titles whose authority is grounded on expert scholarship, but whose style is for the general reader. These books describe human experiences and understandings that upend the white supremacist, colonialist, patriarchal knowledge regimes – including those driving 'modernisation' and 'globalisation' – that are corralling our world into polycrisis. In Esotericism in Western Culture, Wouter J Hanegraaff notes the two different meanings of the word 'esotericism'. The first describes the dialectics of secrecy concerned with the social regulation of access to specific forms of knowledge. The second – the esotericism that Hanegraaff is concerned with – is a collection of historical traditions, ideas, practices and social formations that are grouped together because they are considered to have certain things in common. An overarching commonality across this large and multifarious collection, which in our times has come to be labelled 'esotericism', is that it has been rejected or marginalised by mainstream European intellectuals and the public they influence. Random examples from Western culture alone include Islam, European shamanism, Renaissance alchemy and 20th-century 'chaos magic'. READ MORE The politics of establishing a European identity required that its 'internal enemies' (in this case heretics, witches, and magicians) would be identified, set apart, demonised and finally exorcised According to Hanegraaff, esotericism has been set apart as the problematic 'Other' against which the dominant religious and intellectual elites defined, and still define, their very identity. It strongly emphasises specific worldviews and epistemologies, as well as associated practices, that are at odds with normative post-Enlightenment culture in the modern West. Hanegraaff writes that to ignore the social and intellectual taboo on these topics means engaging in a critical project that he has baptised 'counter-normativity'. Counter-normativity refuses to accept our normative standards of what is supposed to be taken seriously and what may safely be dismissed out of hand. As such, counter-normativity is a rejection of the rejection of rejected knowledge. Hanegraaff argues that what ultimately came out of the developments of pre-Reformation Christianity, Protestantism and modernity was a 'potent narrative' about the West that remains extremely influential in our societies and educational institutions. 'It is based on systematic patterns of excluding, marginalising, misrepresenting, or discrediting a wide range of ideas and practices that, in actual fact, were always part and parcel of Western culture but did not fit a narrow ideological agenda of what that culture was supposed to be about.' The title of a classic from 1975 by the historian Norman Cohn – Europe's Inner Demons – captures Hanegraaff's point precisely: 'The politics of establishing a European identity required that its 'internal enemies' (in this case heretics, witches, and magicians) would be identified, set apart, demonised and finally exorcised.' This is the 'internal Eurocentric narrative' of Western culture - the culturally dominant story of what we've been told to see as central to the identity of Europe and the West. It is also the story of what we've been instructed, tacitly or explicitly, to dismiss as marginal to that identity. 'We are dealing,' writes Hanegraaff, 'with a grand narrative in the true sense of the word: a foundational myth about 'where we came from,' 'who we are,' and 'where we should be going.' Once we understand its nature and manner of operation, we will understand why 'esotericism' is commonly perceived as a separate field, a domain of otherness and weirdness. It will also become easy to see why intellectual or religious elites have so often depicted it as a subversive and dangerous threat to foundational Western values or, with even greater effect, as a laughable and silly fools' asylum.' Eventually, this polemical narrative became the chief template for 'external-Eurocentric' perceptions of non-Western cultures as 'irrational,' 'immoral,' 'backward,' 'uncivilised,' or otherwise 'inferior': manifestations of Eurocentrism that are basic to colonialist, imperialist and racist politics, and 'typically operate by means of projecting Western heresiological stereotypes such as 'primitive superstition,' 'sinister magic,' or 'the horrors of pagan idolatry'' upon peoples in Africa, Asia and Latin America. For the first time in the history of the British census, in 2021, thousands of respondents declared their religion to be 'shamanism', while surveys in the US suggest that hundreds of thousands of Americans consult shamans regularly Insofar as the modern study of esotericism exposes the deep ideological structure of internal Eurocentrism and its effects on a global scale, Hanegraaff sees it as 'a profoundly decolonial project' that seeks to break the power of the dominant narrative on which the claims of Western superiority have historically been built. It does so by restoring all those marginalised, misrepresented, forgotten, excluded and discredited beliefs or practices – and the people who expressed them – to a status of normality and legitimacy in the complex history of Western culture. This allows us to see that the 'foreign Others' are not as 'Other' as we've been led to believe. The historical and theoretical underpinning provided by counter-normative intellectuals like Hanegraaff strengthens the mainstream legitimacy of breakthrough works such as Shamanism: The Timeless Religion and The Witch Studies Reader – portals onto worlds that have often either been suppressed or misrepresented by Eurocentrism, or else relegated to the field of 'amateur' or inadequately resourced research. After years of study – including ethnographic fieldwork with Mentawai communities on Siberut Island, Indonesia, and psychedelic use in the Colombian Amazon – anthropologist Manvir Singh concludes that shamanism as an institution is a near inevitability of human societies: 'a captivating package of practices and beliefs' that appears over and over because of its deep psychological appeal. He defines a shaman as a specialist who, through non-ordinary or altered states – also described as 'trance' or 'ecstasy' - engages with 'unseen realities' and provides services like healing and divination. 'Shamanism characterised the earliest human religions,' writes Singh, 'echoes in industrialised societies today, and will perpetually re-emerge.' Neo-shamanism, he argues, is just as 'real' as more traditional forms, and is rapidly gaining traction in the Global North. For the first time in the history of the British census, in 2021, thousands of respondents declared their religion to be 'shamanism', while surveys in the US suggest that hundreds of thousands of Americans consult shamans regularly. In trying to limit shamanism to far-flung or archaic societies, most commentators have denied the 'universality' of its principles and the intrinsic human need that it addresses: to try to control life's uncertainties. The Ancient Greek Oracle of Apollo at Delphi, Judeo-Christian prophets including Jesus, and multiple miracle-touting US TV personalities, are all shamans under Singh's definition. 'A serious global perspective helps to curb cultural vanity,' he writes, 'showing commonality where people otherwise assume difference and even superiority.' Addressing psychedelic use in shamanism, Singh draws conclusions that burgeoning hordes of psychedelic tourists and growing numbers of users in their own countries won't want to hear: the evidence for psychedelic therapy being a recapitulation of an ancient, worldwide shamanic tradition is scant at best. The Witch Studies Reader highlights how tens of thousands of poor, Indigenous and/or ageing women in Asia and sub-Saharan Africa have been murdered for their association, real or imagined, with witchcraft 'This narrative might feel good,' writes Singh, 'but it mangles history in service of ideology. In so doing, it reinforces a distinction between primitive and civilized while projecting images that are Western-centric and attention-grabbing onto the diversity of the world's spiritual practices.' Dedicated 'to witches everywhere', The Witch Studies Reader – edited by Soma Chaudhuri and Jane Ward, professors of sociology and feminist studies respectively – is a beautifully-produced 500-page grimoire of over 30 essays by writers from around the world, with a fore fronting of witches of colour and voices from the Global South. I'm gobsmacked by the breadth, research quality and radicalism of this anthology, which is 'a gathering of the global coven' in 'an intersectional and decolonial approach to writing about witches.' This lens requires that readers in our culture look beyond the fashionable valorisation of witches, and grapple with the reasons that contemporary witch hunts have been omitted from Global North accounts of witches and witchcraft. It also requires that we note 'the ways that colonial, patriarchal, and white supremacist logics enable the exploitation and control of aging women's bodies, labour, and resources in every corner of the globe – with witchcraft accusations being but one method used to exercise this control of women.' Whilst incorporating fascinating insights and research on the kind of witchcraft 'glamour' and political activism we see breaking into the mainstream media in Western culture, The Witch Studies Reader highlights how tens of thousands of poor, Indigenous and/or ageing women in Asia and sub-Saharan Africa have been murdered for their association, real or imagined, with witchcraft in the past eighty years. This violence is ongoing. Witch hunts, like colonialism and state-sanctioned slavery, are often presumed to be located at a historical point in time, away from which our society has progressed. In this important book, feminist researchers of contemporary witchcraft-related murders upend that presumption, documenting how the forces of patriarchy, global capitalism and land displacement continue to intersect to make women vulnerable to scapegoating during times of economic crisis. Ushering the esoteric counter-normative into 'academic discourse', with many scholars who are witches themselves, this book opens with a spell: May each word to follow be an offering to the infinite altar that holds our collective brilliance, the place where every witch's heartbreak wail and freedom spell has claimed its little corner, there, waiting, for the next witches to carry on the work Further Reading Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco, tr. William Weaver, (Vintage, 2001). This satirical novel by Italian philosopher/writer, first published in 1988, demonstrates that the importance of esotericism to major poets and novelists isn't dependent on whether they endorse its ideas or worldviews. The novel is so full of references to Kabbalah , alchemy and other esoteric subjects that critic/novelist Anthony Burgess suggested it needed an index. Shamanism: Archaic Techniques of Ecstasy by Mircea Eliade (Princeton University Press, 2004). Romanian emigrant-scholar Eliade (1907-1986) was one of the founders of the modern study of the history of religion. His study on shamanism, first published in 1951, quickly became the standard. While some of his findings have been eclipsed in the years since, his work is still necessary reading for shamanists. Waking the Witch: Reflections on Women, Magic and Power by Pam Grossman (Gallery Books, 2019). Part-memoir part-exploration, Grossman's account of her initiation into witchcraft, the meaning of the 'witch' as a powerful emancipatory archetype, and the expression of witchcraft and magic in the worlds of art, literature and radical politics, is an inspiring and erudite read. See also Grossman's Witch Wave podcast.
Fox News
26-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Fox News
Kevin Costner reveals 'tragic' truths uncovered in new docu-series 'The West'
Kevin Costner is bringing love for Western culture to a younger generation, thanks to so many of his cowboy-themed projects: "Yellowstone," "Horizon" and now the History Channel's "The West." Costner is narrating the eight-part series and serves as an executive producer. During an interview with Fox News Digital, the star explained that he was shocked during the filming process to find everything very "tragic" and without happy endings. "Everything I found, almost everything I found was tragic. Isn't that weird? Every story -- there weren't a lot of happy endings, although there were people that made it on the backs of these kind of people were … zeroing in on," he explained. Costner shared an example of John Colter, who has been widely referred to as the first "mountain man." KEVIN COSTNER FELT LIKE A 'DUMBBELL' IN SCHOOL BEFORE FINDING HIS PASSION "Colter was especially interesting to me as a man who was perfectly fit being out there. The guys that came along, artists came, scientists came. It was an expedition, but Colter would hunt for the meat, would sign language. "John Colter was a mountain man. He had no business wanting to go back to Washington and I felt that, we're gonna give him one, not let him go back. Then he became so responsible for some of the greatest, wildest stories ever," Costner explained. "Everything I found, almost everything I found was tragic." The History Channel show "provides a fresh look at the epic history of the American West by delving into the desperate struggle for the land itself and how it still shapes the America we know today," the website states. During production, Costner said that he learned a lot about American history and how settlers took over the native homeland and forced their ideas onto them. "I know I learned things, I was thinking about these missionaries who went back and had to talk people into funding them to let them go, and then they tried to bring their religion to these poor people," he began. "As we moved across the country, we told them all different stories, and we talked about that too, like, we don't want your land, we just want to move through it. Now we want your land, and we want you to cut your hair. We want to change your religion. And we confuse people. And when we couldn't convince them, we murdered them, and we made up convenient stories to do it. These places don't have their names anymore. We named them after ourselves," Costner explained. The "Yellowstone" star was joined by Doris Kearns Goodwin, who also serves as an executive producer on "The West," during his interview with Fox News Digital. Goodwin told Fox News Digital she knew Costner would be perfect for this role due to his spiritual connection to the West and his enthusiasm is "contagious" when around him. Costner told Fox News Digital he is a big fan of sports and compares the certainty of playing sports to the history of the West. "I've always felt that I like sports, OK? I'm a sports guy. You and I know the score, right? There's nobody can bulls--- us about who won. There's something honest about the sports page. It's not dishonest. We find out who won, right? The rest of our news is a little bit nebulous, but sports never is. "And when we think about the West, if we think about it really honestly, we say it was a dangerous place. All the time, you had to be really resourceful. I know guys that kind of really want to see the truth. Let me see how raw it was. Let me how real it was. Am I that tough?" Costner wondered. Costner said living in the West was difficult, and history shows many people were forced to live there without the wherewithal to do so. "They went in groups, and they sometimes perished as groups, and their humanity was alive. And their worst tendencies came out, and their best tendencies came out," he said. Costner's "The West" premieres on the History Channel Memorial Day and is available for streaming May 27.
The Guardian
25-05-2025
- General
- The Guardian
Narcissism can't always be fixed – but you can heal after being hurt by it
It is observed quite often that many people seek therapy to navigate the challenges posed by those who refuse to do the same. Cassie, a 35-year-old mother of two, was one such patient. Blind-sided by the abrupt end of her decade-long marriage, Cassie described her estranged husband, Michael, as a 'full-blown narcissist' – charming, grandiose, entitled and self-centred. A senior barrister, Michael represented a slew of high-profile clients and was renowned for his arrogance, both in and out of the courtroom. 'He's a narcissist, right?' Cassie asked, adding that friends and family had gone so far as to insist he had a narcissistic personality disorder. 'He sure does sound difficult,' I replied, mindful of not offering a diagnosis or clinical opinion based on secondhand information. 'Either way,' I added, 'we've got to find a way to manage your interactions with him.' This is a common therapy scenario – the person seeking help may not be the one with disordered behaviour. Dealing with a narcissist – be it a partner, ex-partner, parent, adult child or boss – can prove to be laborious and emotionally exhausting. Attempts to change a narcissist's behaviour are usually ineffective. Like all personality traits, narcissism exists on a spectrum. Narcissistic personality style and disorder are two separate but related constructs. Narcissistic personality style is typified by inflated ego, self-centredness and self-assuredness. This personality style can be quite common in western culture, particularly in medicine, law, entertainment and politics. Further along the continuum, a narcissistic personality disorder is set apart by severity and intensity of behaviour and characteristics, including grandiosity, entitlement, manipulation or exploitation, attention-seeking and lack of empathy. Narcissistic personality disorder is relatively rare and is typically diagnosed in males. Like the Greek mythical figure Narcissus, for whom the personality style and disorder are named, narcissists are consumed with themselves and their own image. Narcissists bask in the glow of their own reflection. An over-inflated ego makes the narcissist feel invincible. This can be an attractive trait to others too; romantic partners, friends and colleagues are often charmed by the narcissist's allure. The narcissist's sense of confidence is initially taken as an indication of reliability and fidelity. But this appeal invariably gives way to fractured relationships and destruction of personal and professional ties, as narcissists are typically unable to concede mistakes and lack skills necessary for negotiation or compromise. Unsurprisingly, narcissists do not often present for therapy. They see nothing problematic with their behaviour, nor do they demonstrate genuine remorse for hurt inflicted on others. A narcissist may be prompted to engage in therapy for other reasons – perhaps at the behest of a long-suffering partner, or when the fallout from fractured personal or professional relationships becomes insurmountable. Narcissistic individuals are often erroneously categorised as 'untreatable', such is the bewilderment and sense of hopelessness inherent to those left in their wake. While narcissists make for challenging therapy patients, long-term treatment can assist with developing new perspectives and modification of interpersonal behaviour. Whether due to personality style or personality disorder, the impact of narcissistic behaviour can be devastating. A narcissist's shadow is a cold and lonely place to find oneself. Understandably, 'no contact' is often preferred for those who have borne the brunt of a narcissist. But this is not a feasible option for many, who must maintain contact and communication due to obligations related to co-parenting, family or work. To this end, therapy needs to move beyond a postmortem of the narcissist. The development of coping skills and management strategies is essential. Limit contact to necessary interactions. Make communication succinct and unambiguous. Avoid aggression, pettiness or personal insults. These all fuel the narcissist's supply, leaving narcissists energised and their victims depleted. Instead, take the high road; it is less crowded and the view is nicer. Do not look to a narcissistic person for comfort or compassion, as perceived weaknesses may be used as fodder to bolster the narcissist's own ego. The so-called 'grey rock strategy', in which a neutral tone and facial expression is adopted during interactions with the narcissist, can encourage them to lose interest. Setting and enforcing boundaries around contact and communication is essential but likely to rile a narcissist. Loss of control is the ultimate insult. Difficult behaviour is therefore likely to escalate. But like a toddler throwing a tantrum in a supermarket, yielding to unreasonable demands is easy in the short term but ultimately leads to the problematic behaviour patterns becoming further entrenched. Dealing with a narcissist can feel all-consuming. But, both in therapy and other contexts, it is necessary to resist sole focus on the narcissist and their behaviour. Patients such as Cassie can benefit from exploration of their own attachment style and relationship patterns that may have predisposed attraction to a narcissistic person. This can assist in rebuilding a depleted sense of self and, most importantly, help ensure healthier future relationships. Dr Bianca Denny is a clinical psychologist based in Melbourne. She is the author of the forthcoming book Talk To Me: Lessons from Patients and their Therapist
Daily Mail
22-05-2025
- Health
- Daily Mail
The sexiest time in a woman's life? Pregnancy! TRACEY COX reveals why women's libido skyrockets when expecting... and why many feel so guilty about it
Society paints motherhood as an innocent time for couples – but that couldn't be further from the truth for some women. Lots say they've never felt so desperate to have sex than when they were pregnant. Soaring hormones and sensitive breasts and genitals is a potent combination, making some women feel insatiable – and enjoy sex more than they ever have. Good news, right? Not so fast. While some women embrace this (often unexpected) bonus with glee, others feel flooded with guilt for feeling distinctly unmotherly. As one woman put it, 'You're supposed to be looking at prams online, not porn'. Why DO women feel guilty? Some cultures or backgrounds see pregnancy as a pure maternal state. It's meant to be all about the baby, not the woman. Daring to feel desire makes you selfish: it's 'inappropriate'. Even though doctors and gynaecologists reassure women that having sex won't harm the baby (so long as the pregnancy is progressing normally and there are no complications) lots still fear it will dislodge the foetus or cause a miscarriage. Their pleasure could cost them the baby. The leap from 'lover' to 'mother' – especially if it's your first child – isn't easy. Mothers are perceived as saint-like: selfless beings whose prime purpose is to care for a child. Single or childless women are allowed to feel frisky and have wild, wanton sex but mothers? Not so much. This is why having a high sex drive during pregnancy is hidden rather than talked about. And the reason why the two women I spoke to feel guilt rather than enjoying what could be the best sex of their lives. Amanda is 34-years-old and 31 weeks pregnant with her second child. She's been with her partner for five years. 'It didn't happen the first time, but this time around my sex drive is in overdrive. 'I already had a strong libido, but this is ridiculous. I want sex every day and if I can't have it, I masturbate twice a day at least. 'Every chance I get I'm at it with my husband, multiple times a day. I'm insatiable – I feel like I'm going to combust. Even when I sleep, all my dreams are about sex. 'I was loving it until I opened my mouth and told my young Mum group that I couldn't get enough sex right now. Only one woman nodded enthusiastically and said, 'Me too!'. 'This was followed by a stony silence and I knew revealing this wasn't going to make me popular. 'Most of them looked away and down at the floor, another looked angry, and one woman even rolled her eyes. Like, 'Of course she does', like I was some kind of s**t. 'A few of them really battled with being pregnant and didn't have a good time of it. They complained of feeling constantly exhausted and feeling sick all the time. I guess me bouncing in all happy and energetic was a slap in the face. 'The few comments that followed were, "Live it up now because we all know sex stops once there's a newborn in the house." 'Which is kind of true, though after the first baby and three months of parenting hell, my partner and I did resume sex enthusiastically again. The whole experience left me feeling punished for daring to feel sexual during this 'sacred' time. 'My partner's certainly not complaining though. It's been good for our sex life because you're forced to try new and different ways of getting it on. 'During the last pregnancy, when my tummy got big, we had to think outside the box of how to have intercourse (doggie is best) and comfortable positions for him to give me oral sex. 'I was never a fan of oral sex pre pregnancy, but I love it while pregnant because my clitoris is so sensitive. 'Pregnancy forums are full of chats with woman saying how horny they are while pregnant but that's because they're anonymous. You're supposed to be browsing Mothercare not watching porn online. 'Very few women will come out and admit it in public – probably because they're aware the ones who are avoiding sex like the plague don't want them to give their husbands any encouragement.' Why do I feel more like sex while pregnant? It's not you: sex can be better during pregnancy. Here's why: You're high on hormones Pregnancy causes a surge in oestrogen and progesterone to support the baby which can increase the drive for sex for some women. Physical changes Increased blood flow to the pelvic area can heighten sensitivity and arousal, making sex feel more pleasurable. Orgasms often feel deeper and more intense. If you've had problems climaxing before, you're in for a pleasant surprise: orgasms can be easier to achieve and happen more frequently. The vaginal canal is more lubricated which means sex is more comfortable. Emotional shifts Some women hate being pregnant, experience negative side-effects and feel sick and uncomfortable the whole way through. Others have the opposite experience – their skin and hair glow and they feel more connected to their body. The experience of creating life can be empowering, making some women feel more sensual than usual. So can looking curvy and feminine. The bond with your partner is enhanced: you're created a child together. How clever are you and how romantic is that! Don't panic if this isn't happening to you Not all women feel this way. It's as common for your sex drive to disappear completely as it is for it to increase. Sinead, 36, is five months pregnant and has been married eight years. 'My libido has gone from very low to off the charts during this pregnancy. 'I'm quite a shy person and unadventurous in bed. But my fantasies now are dark: they revolve around things like me being tied up and whipped or having sex with lots of men at once. I've never desired that sort of sex before. 'I haven't told my husband I'm abnormally aroused because we don't talk about sex even though I long to share this with him. 'It's ironic that the one time I feel sexual, I don't look sexy at all. I feel so unattractive because I've gained a lot of weight. The result is I'm constantly in a state of sexual frustration. 'I can tell my husband is trying not to show how grossed out he is by how much my body has changed, but he's not touched me sexually since the weight piled on. 'I'm satisfying myself by masturbating but feel disgusted with myself and embarrassed that I have these primal needs. I feel ugly and hideous a lot of the time. 'When my friends get pregnant, their husbands seemed more loving and adoring but mine isn't. He had a bad childhood – his father used to hit him and his mother - and I don't think he is coping well with the thought of being a father himself. 'He eyes up my belly with a disapproving expression on his face. I don't think he meant it in a negative way but he described feeling our baby move under my skin as "freaky and disgusting". He never wants to put his hand on my stomach to feel it kick. 'He says things like, "When this is all over…", like pregnancy is something be endured not enjoyed. 'It's such a shame because our sex life isn't great, and this could have really changed things. But my body image issues and his negativity about the whole experience put paid to that.' What men really think of sex during pregnancy Here's what six men told me when I asked what they thought of pregnancy sex: 'I think pregnant women are enormously sexy. I love their swollen breasts and belly. It makes a woman even more of a woman. I find watching women breast feed incredibly erotic as well – though that's something I tend to keep to myself!' 'She's never looked more beautiful – her skin, her hair, everything. She even smells different: I don't know what it is but it makes me feel aroused. Her vagina has changed as well. The feel and how I fit inside it. The big boobs thing is nice when she doesn't have much normally.' 'I felt incredibly protective over my son-to-be. The child took over the needs of my wife, who was well up for continuing sex right until the end. She wasn't happy about that, and she said it made her feel like she was already not being a 'good mum' for wanting sex when I thought it might harm the baby.' 'My sex drive evaporated the minute she said she was pregnant. The thought of putting my penis inside her was impossible. I imagined it squashing the tiny baby, banging its head about. I have never felt less like sex.' 'She's five months gone and the whole thing is stressing me out. I think it's because I'm not sure I want a child. My father was a terrible father and I'm lying awake at night worrying I will end up like him.' 'I would only say this anonymously, but I don't love the whole pregnant body vibe. I don't find it attractive. It feels like her body has been taken over by something and no longer for my pleasure. It doesn't mean I don't love her or think she's cute waddling about. But sexually it just didn't do it for me. She used to wear tiny little thongs and now her knickers are huge. It's off-putting.'
