15-07-2025
Mom of 3 Agrees to Kinship Foster Twin Nephews with Special Needs 9 Years After Taking in Their Brother (Exclusive)
Cassey and her husband have three biological children — ages 15, 16 and 18
They are also parents to her 9-year-old nephew, whom they began kinship fostering at 2 weeks old
In 2021, the couple got the call that Cassey's sister had welcomed not one, but two baby boys, and took the chance on expanding their family once moreA woman who felt her family was complete opened her heart to kinship adoption for a second time.
Cassey Ashby, on TikTok @woundedfam, had already experienced kinship fostering with her sister's son, now 9, since the little boy was two weeks old. In addition to her own three biological children, the family of six felt they'd hit their stride when they got news of two more babies on the way.
"We were just getting into the time when he could make his own meals and is able to be more independent. My husband and I model homes for a living. I was focusing on work and the family, and then the twins came along."
The couple, together for 20 years, first learned that Cassey's sister would welcome twins just weeks before they were born. At the time, they knew of a pregnancy, but not the fact that there were twins.
"We weren't going to take them if the state had called us. But then, I guess... I felt like my heart opened up whenever I was asked, and I knew that's what I was supposed to do."
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The twins initially went into state custody before Cassey got the call. With three teens and guardianship of her nephew, the family knew what was ahead would be "really hard."
"Twins are extremely hard. You have two diaper changes, two bottles. There's always something else that's needed. Sleeping through the night was very hard. We were waking up every two hours, feeding two babies. That was definitely an adjustment from having single kids. It was a huge adjustment going to twins pretty much overnight."
Cassey was proud to share that the four kids all reacted positively and were "very welcoming" to the two new additions.
"My 15-year-old, she's like... I call her a second mom. She's very loving towards babies. She loves kids. Naturally, she helped out a lot, and she just loves being around them all the time."
Cassey notes the family doesn't have a village around them, but always finds ways to step up for each other. "I don't have a lot of extended family just because of substance issues and stuff. We don't have a lot of family around us. [The twins] became part of our family very quickly."
The family also had to adapt to caring for medically complex kids. The twin boys, Benjamin and Braxton, each live with medical conditions that would require learning and adjustments for everyone.
"Benjamin had a brain injury at birth. I did not know that until later on because I wasn't really involved in any of the hospital procedures," Cassey explains, noting that her sister didn't receive prenatal care during the pregnancy.
"Around six months, I noticed that he was having some symptoms that looked similar to cerebral palsy. He would keep his hands clenched, and his twin started to really pass him on milestones. That was a big indicator. His twin had started to roll and crawl and Benjamin was... he couldn't even grab toys, so it was pretty clear," she continued.
Benjamin was officially diagnosed with cerebral palsy and microcephaly at 6 months, at which point Cassey and her husband were "thrown into therapies and medical appointments."
"That was definitely a huge adjustment. I've never taken care of anybody with special needs. I've never really grew up around anybody who had special needs. I didn't even have to keep a calendar before the twins because I had so few appointments."
As they juggled anywhere from six to eight appointments for Benjamin in a week, they realized that Braxton was facing his own struggles. Further investigation would lead to an autism diagnosis.
"Our living room went from teenagers' stuff everywhere to medical equipment," Cassey says. She gives credit to her husband for never being overwhelmed by the many changes that came their way.
"We both realized that with Benjamin, he's going to need a lifetime of care. I'm grateful my husband has always supported me. He's very loving and he's on the same page [about what we face]."
Cassey and her husband have since adopted the twins. The little boys are now toddlers — 2½ year olds who are curious about the world around them.
"Seeing Benjamin and how happy he is, I think it just makes it all worth it. He's brought so much happiness into our lives. Braxton is running around everywhere. He's very active, so we're trying to balance what each needs in their toddler years."
Searching to add to her village on her own terms, Cassey began sharing the family's story on TikTok in hopes of finding others on their kinship journey.
"I've found from my videos that I never realized so many families were taking care of relatives with special needs. And that's my goal online, to help people not feel alone and know there are millions of others out there," she says. "There is an online community filled with supportive people, even if we don't have people around us in real life who are supporting us."
"The same thing with the special needs community. When I found out about the twins' diagnosis, especially Benjamin's, the first feeling that most special needs families feel when they get a diagnosis is that they feel alone. I came online, and I started sharing my story and Benjamin's story. We found a huge community of people that were in similar situations," Casey continues.
"By documenting, we've been able to raise funds for Benjamin's next intensive. We have met a lot of good people who have helped us on our journey. By sharing Benjamin's journey, we've been able to help other people."
At his first intensive, which is a therapy program aimed at progressing a child's motor skills and functional abilities, Cassey says Benjamin "made the most progress that he's made in the past two years" during the January session.
"After doing that intensive, it sparked something in me, and I realized that he was going to be capable of so much if he was just given the opportunities. I went online, and we have been doing weekly goals to meet towards our total goal, but the idea is we are going to blog the experience. We have an intensive set up for September, and we're going to blog the experience so people can see the progress that he's making and all of that," she shares.
"I think it helps to see the impact that they're making on his life. It's really nice knowing that there's just strangers out there that are going to help just by contributing donations and stuff, they're going to help his quality of life. It means a lot to us that people are willing to do that."
Cassey herself has been inspired by this journey to return to school to become a physical therapist assistant. It's just one example of the "many blessings" that have come from embracing kinship custody and sharing their story.
"My biggest hope and my goal is that they are given every opportunity that they can. Braxton, he's not as severe. He has autism, and he does require more needs. But with Benjamin, this is something that we're going to be doing. We're going to be advocating for him pretty much for life," she notes.
"My biggest thing is I just want them to be happy. That's the biggest goal, I want them to be happy and to be given every opportunity available to them."
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