Latest news with #abuseawareness
Daily Mail
a day ago
- Daily Mail
EXCLUSIVE Mother-of-three, 33, bravely details horrific abuse by her violent ex-partner as she shares pictures of her injuries
A courageous mother-of-three who endured years of brutal abuse at the hands of her violent ex-partner has spoken out for the first time – bravely sharing gruesome pictures of the violence inflicted upon her. Holly Bolsover, 33, suffered a 12-year reign of terror at the hands of thug Conar Shaw, 33, who beat, strangled and emotionally tortured her throughout their relationship – even in front of their children. The monster, from Dinnington, South Yorkshire, broke Holly's jaw, choked her, and chillingly threatened to throw acid in her face 'so no-one else would ever want her'. Shaw was jailed for two and a half years at Derby Crown Court in 2023 before being let out under Labour's early release scheme. The trauma he inflicted on beautician Holly left her unable to speak about her ordeal until now. Speaking to Mail Online to empower other women to escape toxic and abusive relationships, she said: 'I will be an advocate for woman out there that haven't got a voice and who are trapped like I was. 'I know I'm in the right mindset to do that. I want to be that woman who tells others: you can get out. Because at the time, you just can't see a way out - you're stuck in it.' Holly was just 18 when she met Shaw, who was the same age. But their early attraction quickly spiralled into violence and control. In one horrifying attack, Shaw tried to drown her in the bath. In another, he broke her jaw so badly that the bone was visible, requiring hundreds of internal stitches and the insertion of a metal plate. She said: 'It was toxic from the start. 'It wouldn't just be a smack, it'd be black eyes, bruises, cuts, or the house would get smashed up. 'I could never have anything nice in the house. If he knew that I had bought it, he'd smash it up because he knew I liked it.' In one terrifying episode, Holly recalled desperately holding a bedroom door shut while Shaw, armed with a serrated kitchen knife, tried to force his way in. 'He stabbed the door. I was on the other side watching the knife come through - like a scene from a horror film,' she said. 'The kids were with me in the bedroom screaming and crying. He sliced his fingers and ended up in hospital, but lied to everyone about how it happened.' In another attack, Shaw dragged her to the floor by her hood and strangled her in front of their young daughter, who was hit as she tried to intervene. Holly said: 'She ended up with a bloody nose, blood all over her face. And he didn't stop. I was screaming, "Look what you're doing to her!" and he just kept going.' Shaw played mind games so effectively that Holly often retracted police statements out of fear she would lose her children. She added: 'I was being blackmailed constantly. He'd say, "If you tell anyone, I'll get the kids taken off you." 'I believed it - I thought no-one would believe me so I kept my mouth shut.' The violence reached such extremes that at one point, when Holly's phone was off, friends and family feared she had been killed after confusing her for a victim in a nearby murder case. 'People were turning up at my house in tears thinking I was dead. That's how bad it had got. 'Everyone used to say, "You're going to end up in a box." And honestly, they weren't wrong.' In 2023, Shaw was jailed for just two and a half years after admitting two counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm. He served barely over a year behind bars before being released with a lifetime restraining order. The court heard how police were called to an argument in a car outside their home where Holly ended up in hospital with serious injuries to her head and face. Their young daughter told police he was punching her mum so hard the car was shaking. The other assault admitted by Shaw in court happened after Holly ended the relationship and he hunted her down after telling their daughter: 'I'm going to put your mum in A&E.' She said: 'He just walked up and punched me. After he'd finished beating me up, he spat on me and walked off.' Holly condemned Shaw's sentence as 'absolutely disgraceful' and said she feared he would breach his restraining order to find her and her children. Claiming Shaw also once stabbed their pet dog Rascal in a furious rage, she added: 'That sentence barely scratched the surface of what he did. 'Women are fleeing homes, families, their whole lives – and the men walk away with barely any consequence. 'People get more time for drug offences. 'I still have nightmares now that he will suddenly turn up.' Today, Holly is safe and rebuilding her life in South Yorkshire. She has met a new partner, entrepreneur Jack, 31, to whom she is engaged. Last year, the couple welcomed a baby boy. She said: 'I am a complete different woman to what I was then and now I know what a healthy relationship is. 'I thought what I was going through was normal - I just thought that this is what my life is. 'I have never known a love like in my relationship now. I now know how a real man is supposed to treat a woman. 'He shows me and the children how life should be lived and gives them the childhood they deserve.' After posting her graphic injuries on Facebook, Holly said she was contacted by other women trapped in abusive relationships. She said: 'They say the same things I used to say. One girl had me in tears. 'I just kept saying, "I'm not judging you. I've been there. But you need to tell social services. You need to get help." 'These men, they make you believe you're worthless. They make you believe you're going to lose your kids. It's awful. 'I will show women you can get out - you're not alone and I am living proof that you can get out.' Shaw admitted two counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm and was jailed for two and a half years at Derby Crown Court. Detective Constable Kate Morrell, who led the investigation, said at the time: 'The survivor lived in fear of Shaw for years and still struggles with the mental and physical trauma of what he inflicted on her. 'No-one should have to live like that and so I'm pleased Shaw is now behind bars for his crimes. 'I hope this sentence can help her start to move forward and look to the future.'
Daily Mail
6 days ago
- Health
- Daily Mail
Woman whose entire lip was bitten off by her violent ex boyfriend reveals what she looks like seven years after brutal attack
A woman who had her lip bitten off by her ex-boyfriend after she refused to take him back has shared an update on her recovery seven years on from the harrowing incident. In 2017, Kayla Hayes, who was just 17 at the time, was viciously attacked in Simpsonville, South Carolina, by her abusive ex-boyfriend, Seth Aaron Fleury, then 21, because she ended their relationship. The pair had been dating for a year when Hayes decided to call it quits on their romance in September 2017, saying Fleury had become abusive. When the pair met up a few weeks later to talk, he begged her to rethink her decision but Hayes refused. Fleury then leant in to kiss her and refused to let go, even when she pulled away, leading him to tear away 85 per cent of her lip, the attack so brutal he landed himself with a 12 year jail sentence. Seven years on from the attack that left her with painful scarring and feeling like 'a monster', the now 26-year-old has come on leaps and bounds. Sharing a photograph on Instagram recently, she appeared jubilant and happy as she beamed for a flash selfie, her scars from the attack barely visible. With minimal scarring and a huge smile, Hayes looked like a different person altogether from the bloodied face she was left with by her violent ex, which left her in a puddle of blood as she was whisked to hospital. Fans wrote left sweet comments below the picture, calling her 'beautiful' and 'admirable', with one remarking that she was 'shining bright'. Following the attack in 2017, Hayes underwent emergency plastic surgery - but medics were unable to re-attach her lip. She described her horror at feeling 'completely mutilated' by the attack. But since the incident nearly a decade ago, Hayes appears to have regained her smile, with several pictures from the last few years showing her smiling and looking happy. With the help of lip and cheek filler, she has also been able to disguise her scarring and to rebuild her confidence. Now an advocate, speaker and author, Hayes has also published her own book, titled She Rises, about her journey to healing both teenage domestic violence, and childhood sexual abuse. The book, which highlights her 'decision to ruse and wear her scars as wings', scored countless glowing reviews and even won her the Next Generation Indie Book Awards Winner in 2022. Hayes and Fleury began dating on 21 October 2016, when she was 17 and he was 21. But after a year of being together, things turned sour and Kayla decided to break things off, saying Fleury had come to treat her like his 'property'. When she eventually plucked up the courage to end their relationship in September 2017, he refused to accept things were ending and after meeting up a few weeks later, went in to try and kiss her. Seven years on from the attack that left her feeling like 'a monster', the now 26-year-old has come a long way. Pictured on Instagram seven weeks ago And as she pulled away, he bit down on her bottom lip with such force that it was ripped off. Hayes underwent emergency plastic surgery, but doctors were unable to reattach her lip and she was left with permanent scarring and a limited range of motion with her mouth. Fortunately in 2018, a year after the brutal attack, Hayes gained justice when Fleury was jailed for 12 years. Judge Robin N. Stilwell sentenced Fleury to 12 years in prison after he pleaded guilty to assault and battery of high and aggravated nature at Greenville County Courthouse. His sentence made it so that he would be forced to serve at least 85 per cent of his sentence before being made eligible for parole. During the hearing, Hayes recalled in detail the day her life changed at the hands of someone who claimed he would always protect her in a heartbreaking victim impact statement provided to In it, she recalled how she ended up sitting in a puddle of her own blood with her lip on her leg and wishing her injuries would take her life. 'October 21st, 2017. This was the day that a piece of me died,' she said. 'No one deserves to be hurt by the ones they love, but unfortunately it is more common than we realise. 'Everyone has a story and just because you don't see their scars, as you will mine, this doesn't meant that they didn't fight the same battle. 'Even if my story only helps one single person, I will know that there was a reason for this happening to me.' She added: 'No one truly believes that this could happen to them but it can happen in the blink of an eye. 'Someone could be the most outstanding person you have ever met, but until you are with them behind closed doors you just never know. In her victim impact statement, she said: 'I remember every detail of this very moment, the thoughts that ran through my mind when I opened my camera, were very dark which only seemed to worsen. 'Sitting in a puddle of my own blood with the majority of my lip laying on my leg, my whole mouth on fire, confused and terrified, I didn't know how I could ever show my face again. 'At that point, honestly wishing that those very seconds would just be my last - I wanted to give up for good. 'I kept replaying what had just happened in my head, from telling Seth that I was not there to get back together with him, however I was there for him to right his wrongs. 'To getting flowers and cards thrown at the back of my head and then quickly get in my car to seeing my leg shaking uncontrollably to finally look up at him picking everything up. 'I could not figure out how this happened so fast. I couldn't figure out how he was so mad. From putting the items in the passenger seat leading to him trying to kiss me. 'Of course, as I said before, I wasn't there to get back together with him. I refused and backed up only to feeling him latch on to me. Feeling it tear about half way. 'I then just started screaming at the top of my lungs for help and out of fear for my life. He then yanked me out of my own vehicle and slammed the door in my face so he could take off, and run away from what he had just done.' While on the journey to the hospital, Fleury continued to blow up her phone with calls. She detailed her horror at having 'something many women hold precious to them' be 'completely mutilated'. In the ambulance, Hayes didn't have the heart to call her mother, who was on holiday at the time, by calling her. It was the first she had taken without her daughter. When she called friends, they couldn't understand her when she tried to explain what had happened because of the severity of her injury. 'I remember being in the ambulance, being told to call my mother. I couldn't bring myself to do it. 'She was seven hours away on her first vacation she had ever taken without me, how could I ruin it. 'I then got on the phone with her friend and I remember trying to say he bit me but no one could understand me because my lips couldn't pronounce it.' She said she was still deeply affected by the sound of an ambulance, and was often left in 'a panic' whenever she heard one. Waking up in hospital was even more of a shock, but she was grateful for her nurse 'trying to lighten the air'. 'She chuckled and nodded then proceeded to bring me a mask to cover my face. 'That was when it hit me, this was my new reality. What I just woke up from was no joke. Never a day in my life will I ever wake up living my 'normal' life again.' In the months following the attack, she said she found herself blaming herself for breaking up with 'someone that I knew didn't deserve me which he proved once again.' She recalled how he 'manipulated' her to the point that she nearly lost all those dear to her, saying she had been 'naive' to the abuse that Fleury was inflicting on her as he was her first ever boyfriend. The attack was so severe that she was left unable to drive and feeling like 'a monster and was even forced to withdraw from college, where she was studying dental hygiene, and as a result, lost her scholarship. Having to pay for her own college fees left her and her mother out of pocket and they were forced to sell their first home as a result. She described 'smothering' herself in makeup just to leave the house, often finding people 'staring' at her in the street. Hayes was also left with crippling anxiety, terrifying nightmares and even struggled to eat, unable to open her mouth wide enough for even a small fork or spoon. The horror inflicted on her at the hands of Fleury didn't go away either. As well as the nightmares, she would be woken up at all hours of the night to be told if Fleury's ankle monitor hadn't registered a signal. 'No one understands how everyday is a struggle to get up and go about my days, but if I sit down and let this defeat me then he will only get more satisfaction out of what he's done.. so I just ask that the focus today is on what he is done and not at how far I have come or what I have felt that I have had to do to overcome what he has done to me.'
The Sun
02-06-2025
- Health
- The Sun
My ex refused to let me end things – when I finally moved on his twisted messages threatened to tear my life apart
HANDS shaking Laura Gumery struggled to comprehend what was on her boyfriend Tom Martin's phone. There they were, the photos she hoped never to see again, the photos her ex had promised to delete but now the intimate images were being used against her. 6 After learning about her new relationship with Tom, her former boyfriend Ian Davis had texted the naked images, alongside sexual messages the pair had once shared, to her new partner in a jealous rage. Davis, 37, tried to claim that Laura, 33, had cheated with him in an attempt to sabotage the new relationship. Thankfully Tom, 38, didn't believe his lies and the pair reported Davis to the police. Now the mum-of-two is sharing her story to raise awareness of revenge porn in a bid to encourage other victims to report their abusers to the police. She says: 'Reporting Ian was the best thing I ever did. 'Taking back control of my life felt amazing. 'Now I want others to not feel ashamed to come forward and seek justice.' Laura, from South Wales, met Davis in 2015, when she was 15 and he was 20. Initially he seemed like the perfect boyfriend, showering her with compliments and buying her gifts and almost instantly declaring his love for her. However, he gradually became more obsessed with the then schoolgirl. Shamed Towie star James Argent threatened with jail if he fails to listen to abuse victims on course after attack on ex She remembers: 'He'd want to talk to me all the time and if I didn't reply straight away he'd bombard me with messages. 'He picked me up from school and I barely saw my friends and family. 'It was suffocating.' By the time she turned 18, Laura ended the relationship. Despite this, Davis begged her to reconsider, even pestering her friends to get Laura to talk to him. But she blocked his number and eventually he left her alone. Five years on in 2015, aged 23, Laura fell pregnant but the father didn't want to be involved. Soon after, Davis got in touch, out of the blue. She remembers: 'He apologised for his behaviour during the relationship. 'Saying he wasn't that person anymore and missed me. 'He wanted another chance. 'Feeling vulnerable at that time, I agreed to try again, he genuinely seemed to have changed. 'I agreed to date again once the baby was born.' At first, things were bliss for the couple as Davis became a loving father-figure to Laura's newborn son. But within seven months, the relationship began to unravel. Often, Davis would go away at the weekends for car rallies and Laura was left to do everything and the couple found themselves arguing constantly. Despite this, in December 2017 the pair got engaged and planned to marry. Only, two years on, in May 2019, Laura was told by a friend that Davis had allegedly cheated while on a trip away. Laura explains: 'I confronted him but he denied it. 'By this point I'd had enough, so I cancelled our wedding and moved out with my son. 'I couldn't trust him. 'I still allowed him to see my son as they had such a close relationship.' When lockdown hit in March 2020, Laura continued to stay in touch with Davis as he still had a hold over her. She remembers: 'He'd turn up at my house unannounced and would text me, asking who I was seeing. 'He would be so jealous if he ever saw a car parked outside mine and was convinced I was still his. 'Sometimes it was easier to go along with it. I got less grief that way. 'Occasionally, I slept with him to keep him off my back so I could have a social life without him. 'I did it to keep him 'happy' so he would let me have a life and stop monitoring me all the time.' During this time, Laura sent Davis two nude pictures of herself taken in her bedroom and they shared a flurry of sexual messages together. With Davis texting her naked pictures of himself too, but Laura deleted them straight away. She explains: 'I wanted to make him believe I was still 'his'. 'Looking back, it was so unhealthy and toxic but I couldn't see a way to break free from his control.' Months later, in April 2021, Laura met her boyfriend, Tom, on a blind date. They hit it off and the following month, he stayed over at Laura's. Only, the next morning, Davis sent her a cryptic message. She says: 'He told me he'd always 'loved me' and that I 'couldn't survive' without him. 'I decided to cut ties with him for good." A year on, in July 2022, Laura received a message on Instagram from Davis. It said: 'Blocking me was the wrong thing to do I've got somethings (sic) your boyfriend should see its (sic) your call now.' After telling her he had nothing to lose, he ordered her to unblock him. Laura says: 'I had no idea what he was talking about and threatened to contact the police if he messaged me or Tom. 'Then I blocked him on Instagram too.' In September that year, Laura discovered she was pregnant. A week later, the day after she celebrated her 31st birthday, Tom called in distress. Laura remembers: 'He told me that Ian had been in touch. 'That he'd sent him two naked pictures of me as well as the sexual conversations we'd had together. 'I immediately felt sick. 'Panic hit me. I thought, 'That's it, Tom's going to leave me.'' With that, Laura rushed home. There, Tom showed her Davis' messages. In one, he'd called her a 'w***e'. She says: 'I was so mortified and ashamed he'd seen the pictures of me. 'Ian had tried to make out I'd cheated on Tom with him. 'I explained that the pictures were sent before we were together and that I hadn't done anything wrong. 'Tom was so calm and supportive, but I knew he was upset. 'Thankfully he believed me. 'I hated Ian for what he'd done and I was terrified he'd posted them elsewhere too. 'He'd completely taken away the joy of our pregnancy news.' WHAT IS REVENGE PORN? Victims have been targeted by revenge porn from their exes, and occasionally third parties, who seek to destroy their reputation or post it as a form of harassment. The posting of revenge porn includes photos and videos of the victim that are posted online without the individual's consent, with one in 25 Americans affected, according to a 2016 article by The Washington Post. Americans between the ages of 18 and 30 are primarily victims of revenge porn, and a study conducted in 2016 found that approximately 10million people, or two percent of the population, had reported they were victims. Revenge porn is not protected under the First Amendment of free speech which does not protect the distribution of private facts, defamation, and child pornography. Under section 230 Communications Decency Act of 1996, websites are considered third parties and not legally liable for content posted online. However, in 2020, then-Attorney General William Barr wrote a letter to Congress requesting websites to be required to take action and hold the third parties accountable for not removing nonconsensual content. In his letter, Barr wrote that technological changes since 1996 have advanced, and the law should be amended to reflect this. He stated that section 230 "shields 'any action voluntarily taken in good faith to restrict access to or availability of material that the provider or user considers being obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy, excessively violent, harassing, or otherwise objectionable.'" Barr provided reforms to section 230, changing "'otherwise objectionable' with more specific language including 'promoting terrorism or violent extremism, promoting self-harm' and 'unlawful.'" The bill to amend section 230 was brought to the Senate in October 2021 and as of May 2022, it is still being reviewed. Afterwards, Tom told Laura how it was a crime to distribute naked images and explained all about the law on revenge porn. So, the couple reported Davis to the police. Laura says: 'At first I thought Ian hadn't done anything wrong as I didn't think it was illegal to share intimate images with someone you knew. 'But Tom told me it was an offence and reminded me of the Georgia Harrison case.' Georgia's disgraced ex Stephen Bear is currently serving a 21 month prison sentence for voyeurism and sharing a sex tape. Stephen filmed consensual sex with Georgia on CCTV in 2020 then made at least £40,000 on OnlyFans from uploading the clip. He was also placed on the Sex Offenders Register for ten years and was slapped with a five-year restraining order banning him from contacting Georgia. TV personality Georgia was among those to call for a change to the legislation. It will now be easier to prosecute people for sharing revenge porn after a change in the law in England and Wales. Revenge porn was criminalised in 2015 but before now prosecutors had to prove there was an intention to cause humiliation or distress, but laws introduced on Tuesday will remove this clause. The day that Laura filed the report an officer came to take Laura's statement. Laura says: 'While the officer asked to see the pictures, he was professional and offered no judgement. 'I was mortified but determined to see Ian punished.' Soon after, Davis was arrested and charged. It took three years to get to court. This month, at Newport Crown Court, Davis was found guilty of sharing an intimate photograph without consent and sharing an intimate photograph without consent while intending to cause harm, distress or humiliation. He was handed a seven month sentence, suspended by one year and a five-year restraining order. Laura says: 'Sharing intimate pictures with others causes lasting damage. 'It harms self-esteem and can ruin family relationships. 'Thankfully Tom has been my rock and supported me throughout. 'Now I teach my boys that when you're going through tough times, don't back away, because, in the end, the person telling the truth always wins.'
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The Independent
23-05-2025
- Health
- The Independent
The Independent's Rebecca Thomas named health journalist of the year in the Press Awards 2025
The Independent correspondent Rebecca Thomas has been named health journalist of the year at the Press Awards 2025. Ms Thomas's work exposed a case of an autistic man who had been trapped in dementia care units and A&E wards for 10 years, a 'culture of fear' that allowed nurses to abuse their patients and a scandal of sexual assault of patients within NHS mental health trusts. Judges praised her 'forensic research' and 'impressive track record in effecting change for both vulnerable people and the public at large'. Ms Thomas's work 'empowers those who would otherwise be ignored', and 'sheds a light on abuse and neglect by those in positions of power at some of our most trusted institutions', the judges said. Ms Thomas said: "I am very honoured and humbled to have received this award, thank you to the brave patients and sources who came forward and for the Indy editors who helped me share their stories." It comes after Ms Thomas won at the British Journalism Awards in the health and life sciences category in December 2024. Ms Thomas also won the Medical Journalists' Association (MJA) mental health story of the year for her 18-month investigation into sexual abuse in NHS hospitals. Nearly 20,000 reports of rape and sexual assault of patients were made across half of NHS mental health trusts. This was exposed by The Independent in conjunction with Sky News in a joint investigation and podcast. The investigation prompted former victims' commissioner Dame Vera Baird to describe the NHS abuse as a 'national scandal', with Wes Streeting calling it a 'wake-up call' for the government while he was shadow health secretary. Rape Crisis England and Wales called for a public inquiry. Ms Thomas was also nominated for the Private Eye Paul Foot Award for investigative and campaigning journalism for the same investigation earlier this year. Private Eye said her 'dogged campaign exposed systemic patient safety scandals within the UK's ailing mental health system'. Meanwhile, she investigated the case of an autistic man trapped in dementia care units and A&E wards, where he suffered abuse by nurses over a 10-year period. Ms Thomas's reporting helped the man leave after years of being trapped in mental health institutions. He has moved into his own home and has now regained the power of speech. Ms Thomas previously won in the health and life sciences category in the British Journalism Awards in 2022, when she was recognised for her 'revelatory' coverage of a crisis in A&E units.
ABC News
17-05-2025
- ABC News
Pacific women share stories of abuse to spark cultural change
Survivors and advocates are sharing stories of abuse to spark cultural change in the Pacific region where gender-based violence is rampant.
