Latest news with #babyledweaning
The Guardian
03-08-2025
- Health
- The Guardian
Parents and columnists don't get everything right – here's what I've learned from three years as both
'If you are reading this, I have just become a mother.' That was the first sentence I ever wrote for this column series, three-and-a-half years ago, the starting pistol on a clutch of copy filed in advance before my son arrived suddenly, explosively, five weeks early. I was supposed to have a break for a few weeks while those pieces ran, but I found I couldn't: I was making notes before I left the hospital. Looking back, I can see that there are a few things I got wrong in those few years. I never pretended to be an expert, and tried to be upfront about the fact that I was very much learning on the job. So here is a potted list of things I regret: I was wrong to be so dismissive of baby-led weaning. I had anxiety from a difficult birth and my son being hospitalised, and I was neurotic about choking. My son was preterm and wasn't ready to be handling big bits of food at six months, but I didn't realise that at the time (still, I maintain that people are weird and culty about it). Also, I was wrong to make a joke about 'tummy time' not mattering: tummy time matters, especially for kids with certain disabilities. And I was wrong, possibly, or at least inconsiderate, to write about how having a baby had made Christmas feel so special. A woman who had just had a miscarriage sent me a message saying it had made her cry, and I think, were I to write that column again, I would try to better acknowledge the pain of those with infertility and baby loss – the subject of my column the following Christmas. Still, there is a lot I stand by. I still think two weeks of statutory paternity leave is pathetic and embarrassing. I still don't think dads can have it all, either. I still don't think there is a quick fix to baby sleep. I still think breastfeeding promotion policy in this country is a disaster, which sidelines maternal mental health and doesn't even work in the process. And I still passionately hate Bill Thompson, from Postman Pat – the snarky little sod with an attitude problem whose voice continues to grate on me even as my son giggles with delight at his antics (although his favourite character is Michael). If there's one lesson I've learned in the last three years of being a mother – and of writing about it – it's that all of my readers were right: those first days, weeks and months really do pass so quickly, and though they can be hard, a part of you will long for them. Had I not written it down, I am sure there is so much I would have forgotten. In that sense, it's been a gift. I'll never get to hold my son as a baby again, or to hear the little truffle pig grunts as he sought me out for milk, but the writing of an experience helps to hold it in time, can even transport you back. Readers, too: I have been so moved by how many of you said you were in the trenches with me, or those, older, who said my writing helped conjure that time for them. It's a funny thing, being a columnist. I picture my readers all the time, mainly because I hear from so many of you (your messages, emails and comments below the line have been the best part of this job), but it didn't occur to me that you might picture me. The reality three-and-a-half years ago wasn't pretty: I was newly postpartum, reeling, sleep-deprived. Often I wrote while 'the bairn' screamed in the other room, cared for by my husband, or my mother – both of them are the hidden labour behind this column. For some reason, I had been arrogant enough to think writing with a newborn would be easy. Of all the things I have got wrong as a writer, that was probably the main one. There was this look I used to get in the run-up, when I told friends and family who were already parents that I was planning to document it all, in real time, and report on others' experiences, too. It was a kind of wordless, smiling nod, the sort you also often get when you say that you want a water birth with no pain relief, or that you and your partner are solid and that a baby won't change that. It's often followed by a hesitant sentence before the person trails off. Just you wait, the knackered goblin in their head is hissing, but they're too nice to say anything, and so they don't. So that was my first error. In a way, I'm glad I made it, because otherwise I would not have written, and despite the fact that any time a female writer produces anything at all about motherhood she's accused of thinking she's the first woman in the world to have ever had a baby, when you look at the history of humanity we are still very much in the early days of women writing about this. We forget that for many centuries we weren't even taught to write. Our knowledge was passed between us, and passed down, through the words that we spoke to one another, and to our daughters. I started this column because very little of the writing that existed then – brilliant as it is – seemed to speak to parents of my generation and younger, who face unique challenges. Now, there is far more, and it feels as though with every year that passes our voices are being taken more seriously. Choosing columns from this series to stitch together into a book was an emotional process. The thread that runs through them all is the feeling that, when it comes to parenting, having a feeling of community and solidarity are paramount. So it's my story, but you have all been a part of it, too, from the many, many readers who have sent encouragement and advice, to the grandfather who said that he dances with his baby granddaughter now because he won't live to see her wedding. Even the dad who said you don't need to do anything with your kids until their teens, whereupon you can simply take them white-water rafting, taught me something. So many of you have been a part of this journey. Thank you for coming on it with me. Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett is a Guardian columnist The Republic of Parenthood: On Bringing Up Babies by Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett, illustrated by Pia Bramley, will be published on 7 August
The Guardian
25-06-2025
- Health
- The Guardian
‘I am worried my baby is too bald' and other anxieties we tried to solve with products – so you don't have to
The wonderful thing about having a baby is that you are incredibly vulnerable, physically and emotionally, and as a result, incredibly susceptible to advertising. Even those moments when you have a minute to 'relax' and spend some quality time with your phone, you're reading parenting forums, looking up symptoms, bookmarking baby-led weaning recipes and watching videos of experts telling you the 12 ways you are doing irreparable damage to your baby by being on your phone right now. Luckily for you mama, the very same device that creates endless anxieties also gives you access to the products that will solve them! Truly, we are living in the golden age. Fix: a wipe warmer One thing no one warns you about when you become a mother is how much of your brain will be constantly preoccupied by temperature. Is the baby's head too cold? Is her bath too hot? Does she feel warm to you? Is her bottle too cool? What's the TOG rating for this damn sleepsack? It's every mother's nightmare that your child will ever experience a single moment of discomfort and hold it against you for the rest of their lives. Who hasn't felt their baby flinch as you applied a cool wet wipe to their nethers during a midnight nappy change and thought, 'I am a monster. Time to walk into the forest and howl at the moon'? Good thing there's a product that allows you to circumnavigate trauma of the cold bum cheeks. With this nifty device you can get that adorable little asshole spick and span while sparing it from the dangers of ever knowing a suboptimal temperature. Will you immediately follow this warm wipe with a cold scoop of Sudocrem? Could you have saved yourself $69.99 by just sticking a wipe under your tit before using it? I dunno mama, it's late, try to get back to sleep. Fix: a silk pillowcase Is your precious newborn developing a bald spot? How is he meant to pose in his baby milestone photoshoot without a perfect head of hair? What if someone sees your baby's bald spot and thinks, 'That baby has a bald spot.' Why, this could really affect his career prospects and social life, even though he is merely days old. But, because you are a good mother, you can help him now by spending a stupid amount of money on a mulberry silk bassinet sheet. Yes, mulberry silk, laboriously made by cultivating and killing millions of silkworms. Once it was a fabric reserved for royalty, now it can be shat on by any middle-class baby, if his mother is anxious enough. Sign up for the fun stuff with our rundown of must-reads, pop culture and tips for the weekend, every Saturday morning Fix: earmuffs for newborns So you've dropped a couple of grand on the cutting-edge robot cot that rocks your baby to sleep while playing white noise. But now you're worried: is it too cutting-edge? There hasn't been time for longitudinal studies on what white noise might do to your baby's fragile ears. After spending six hours Googling studies, reading studies, realising you don't have a science degree and can't interpret the studies, there's only one thing you can do. You must buy infant earmuffs to protect her ears from white noise, in case the white noise is somehow damaging her eardrums or disrupting the neural pathways that need to develop for her brain to understand sound. While you're at it, remember to put away some money for occupational therapy costs in case she ends up having an auditory processing disorder because of how much white noise you've already played her. Also, while she's wearing the earmuffs, you have to stay awake and watch her like a hawk because the earmuffs are not a part of the Red Nose safe sleep recommendations. So you can't ever sleep again, sorry. Sign up to Saved for Later Catch up on the fun stuff with Guardian Australia's culture and lifestyle rundown of pop culture, trends and tips after newsletter promotion Fix: sensory play Worried your precious baby will not develop the ability to touch things? Sometime in the last decade, parenting experts came together to invent something called 'sensory play'. Sure, stimulating your senses could be achieved by doing something called Being a Person in the World, but for some reason this now involves a messy abomination known as sensory play. Influencers show off their tubs of shaving cream, food colouring, water, pebbles and assorted slimes, arranged into perfect little scenes like a high school science diorama. When we were kids, our sensory encounters were limited to metal slippery dips in the playground and stepping on bindis in the summertime. Now, parents must spend hours hand-dyeing grains of rice and conjuring up taste-safe sands, just for a toddler to poke at it for a hot five minutes before they get bored and traipse everything into the house, leaving you with your own sensorial play of cleaning goo stains out of your carpet and stepping on a chickpea in the middle of the night. You got this mama! Fix: a neck floatie So your baby seems to like the bath, but could your baby be having a better time in the bath? Are you just letting them sit in there, with their bum on the base of the bath? Why not suspend your baby from the surface of the bath instead, with a flotational neck doughnut. Simply pop your baby's head in the doughnut, fill the bath up all the way to the top, and have them bob around in there, serene as a leaf in a pond in a Japanese garden. Now how did anyone bathe their babies before we could order a flotational neck pillow directly to our door? Alex Lee and Humyara Mahbub are the hosts of the podcast Baby Shoes.
The Sun
01-06-2025
- General
- The Sun
‘I'm scared to look' people cry as mum shows off her 10-month-old twins' breakfast that ‘will get stuck in their throat'
A MUM-OF-TWO has caused controversy after giving her 10-month-old twins desiccated coconut for breakfast. Brittany Miller is mother to Emiliano and Elijah and regularly shares videos of her parenting journey on her social media pages. 2 2 She recently started baby led weaning (BLW) with her sons and earlier this year, came under fire for giving the boys steak for dinner. But now, the influencer has caused a stir yet again after posting a clip of her 10-month-old twins' eating breakfast. Before handing her kids their plates of food, Brittany said: 'It's breakfast time for the boys and I feel like I haven't shown you their food in ages and they're doing so well with their food.' As she gave her followers a close-up look at their lavish meal, Brittany added: 'So they've got French toast with strawberry yoghurt, and I'm just sprinkling coconut all over it. 'This is cold steak - I just keep steak in the fridge and I just give it to them because it's cold, it's really soothing, they can actually chew it up now. 'And then they've got a tomato - they love tomato because it's just so juicy and refreshing on their gums, and then they will have some orange, but not until they've had this.' Moments later, the brunette explained: 'Emi has gone straight for the French toast, Eli has gone straight for the tomato, he literally loves tomatoes so much.' But Brittany's TikTok clip, which was posted on her official account @ brittanyhmiller, has clearly left many open-mouthed, as it has quickly gone viral and racked up 1.3 million views in just three days. Not only this, but it's also amassed 80,300 likes, 671 comments and 1,398 saves. Despite the meal appearing delicious and nutritious, numerous social media users were concerned by Brittany's boys eating desiccated coconut and many eagerly raced to the comments to voice their fears. Mum slammed for giving eight-month-old twins STEAK One person said: 'Omg really? Coconut will get stuck in their throat.' Another asked: 'I'm scared to look. Is it safe for them?' Whilst someone else questioned: 'Coconut gets stuck in their throat??' To this, Brittany confidently clapped back and simply penned: 'No.' So they've got French toast with strawberry yoghurt, and I'm just sprinkling coconut all over it Brittany Miller Despite lots of concern amongst fans, desiccated coconut can be safely introduced to babies and is commonly used for children as a natural way to sweeten, add grip for weaning or provide extra nutrients to meals. It is generally considered safe for babies in small amounts, but it has been advised to wait until children are around nine to 12 months, when they are better at chewing and swallowing. When choosing desiccated coconut, it's advised to check that it is unsweetened and without added preservatives. What is baby led weaning? Starting your baby on food can be a daunting, scary process. And while mums have depended for years on purees and soft, easy to eat foods for their babies, there's another approach that often causes controversy. Namely baby led weaning (BLW). Instead of spoon-feeding your baby pureed or mashed foods, BLW means offering them "only finger foods and letting them feed themselves from the start", the NHS explained. "You can offer a range of small, finger-sized pieces of food," they added. "Some parents prefer baby-led weaning to spoon feeding, while others combine a bit of both. "There's no right or wrong way – the most important thing is that your baby eats a wide variety of food and gets all the nutrients they need." Raw coconut chunks should be avoided due to choking hazards, and finely shredded or blended coconut is safer for babies. For younger babies, who are under nine months old, it is recommended to avoid desiccated coconut due to the risk of choking and digestive difficulty. NHS advice According to the NHS, when it comes to weaning, there are a number of foods parents should avoid giving to babies and young children. The NHS website reads: 'Babies should not eat much salt, as it's not good for their kidneys. 'Do not add salt to your baby's food or cooking water, and do not use stock cubes or gravy, as they're often high in salt. 'Remember this when you're cooking for the family if you plan to give the same food to your baby. 'Avoid salty foods like: bacon, sausages, chips with added salt, crackers, crisps, ready meals, takeaways.' Different parenting techniques Here are some widely recognised methods: Authoritative Parenting This technique will often foster independence, self-discipline, and high self-esteem in children. It is often considered the most effective, this technique is where parents set clear expectations - enforcing rules - whilst also showing warmth and support. Authoritarian Parenting This is opposite to authoritative parenting, as it is where the parent sets high demands but is low on responsiveness. It involves ensuring the child is obedient and often employ punitive measures. While this can lead to disciplined behaviour, it may also result in lower self-esteem and social skills in children. Permissive Parenting Permissive parents tend to be indulgent and lenient, often taking on a role more akin to a friend than an authority figure. They are highly responsive but lack demandingness, granting children a lot of freedom. This method can nurture creativity and a free-spirited nature but may also result in poor self-regulation and difficulties with authority. Uninvolved Parenting Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is marked by low responsiveness and low demands. Parents in this category offer minimal guidance, nurturing, or attention. This often leaves children feeling neglected, which can have significant negative effects on their emotional and social development. Helicopter Parenting Helicopter parents are extremely involved and overprotective, frequently micromanaging their children's lives. Although their goal is to protect and support, this approach can hinder a child's ability to develop independence and problem-solving skills. Free-Range Parenting Free-range parenting encourages children to explore and learn from their surroundings with minimal parental interference. This method promotes independence and resilience but requires a safe and supportive environment to be successful. Attachment Parenting According to Attachment parenting focuses on physical closeness and emotional bonding, often through practices such as co-sleeping and baby-wearing. This approach aims to create secure attachments and emotional well-being, but demands significant time and emotional commitment from parents. Each of these parenting techniques has its own set of strengths and weaknesses. The key is to find a balanced approach that aligns with the family's values and meets the child's needs for a healthy, happy upbringing. Not only is it advised to minimise the amount of salt you give to babies, but sugar is also a no no. According to the NHS: 'Your baby does not need sugar. By avoiding sugary snacks and drinks (including fruit juice and other fruit drinks), you'll help prevent tooth decay.' Additionally, parents should also steer clear of saturated fats. 'Do not give your child too many foods that are high in saturated fat, such as crisps, biscuits and cakes. 'Checking the nutrition labels can help you choose foods that are lower in saturated fat,' the NHS recommends.
