Latest news with #brainTumor
Yahoo
5 days ago
- Health
- Yahoo
Husband drains bank account, divorces sick wife via text
A husband who text messaged his cancer-stricken wife to say he was leaving and had taken all their money has exposed a horrific divorce act only men commit. Marie took to social media to share her horror that her husband had walked out on her after she was diagnosed with a brain tumour. As if that wasn't bad enough, he had also cleared out their joint bank account, money she claims she needs for her medical treatment. 'My husband of 6 years up and vanished, drained our mutual account and sent me this when I asked what the hell was going on,' the post, shared on TikTok and Reddit, stated. 'My condition is foul, I've had multiple surgeries, treatments, etc … But I've always been faithful, I still cooked him dinners up until this happened. He's pretty convinced I'm dead to rights, I personally think I have a chance …' Alongside her post is an MRI scan of Marie's brain showing the tumour, and the text her husband sent her explaining his reasons for leaving. 'Listen, it's been hard, I can't handle watching you die,' the text starts. 'I feel alone, I feel trapped, I'm not sure where or what I'm going to do … I've invested a lot during your treatment so I'm recouping what I put in plus extra for my future. I can still have one.' He went on to apologise for the fact his wife was dying and urged her to 'be happy for me, that I can live for us both'. Understandably, people are outraged. But the horrendous exchange is tragically not a one-off case – it's a common occurrence for wives facing serious health battles. New data shows men are more likely to leave their wives after a cancer diagnosis than vice versa. The 2025 study assessed more than 25,000 heterosexual couples aged 50 and older across 27 European countries during an 18-year period and concluded that divorce was more likely when the wife is ill. In contrast, if it was the husband who had health problems, the couple was no more likely to split than if both were healthy. This was echoed in an earlier paper, published in 2015, that saw researchers track 2701 marriages and watch what happened when someone became unwell. While only 6 per cent of cases ended in divorce, they were all instigated by men. Another study from 2009 found the strongest predictor for separation or divorce for patients with brain cancer was whether or not the sick person was a woman. That same study showed that men were seven times more likely to leave their partner than the other way around if one of them got brain cancer, according to The Guardian. Professor Alex Broom, a Professor of Sociology and the Director of the Sydney Centre for Healthy Societies, Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences at the University of Sydney, explained that the data shows a telling reflection on the inequity in modern marriages. 'Research has often shown than women bear the brunt of caring responsibilities at both ends of life – the early years and the twilight years. But also, that the men in their lives can be ill equipped to provide them with care and support when they need it – whether in the context of serious illness or at the end of life,' he told 'I'm sure many people at this point will say, 'not all men' or 'not my partner'. And it is true, men come in many shapes and forms. But the reality is, women do a disproportionate amount of informal caring, and receive less, on average, themselves, often at critical moments.' Professor Alex Broom stressed that while 'we may think we live in an equitable society, we do not', with women – particularly married ones – still copping the bad end of the deal even when they are sick. 'The increase in women's participation in the workforce has increased women's paid income and assets but not necessarily equalised the distribution of informal caring responsibilities,' he said. 'For instance, household surveys have found men now do slightly more domestic work than they used to, but women still do much more, in average, than men despite paid work. That is, patriarchal ideas about care and responsibility still lurk in the background of our society. 'The 'caring gap', as we may call it, may explain why some men 'jump' when faced with difficult scenario. The social norms binding them to the social contract of care is weaker than it is for women.' In Marie's case, she felt particularly hard done by as she had stuck by her husband, even when he wasn't doing great in life. 'We met in high school, I supported him financially during his degree, I was there when his sister died,' she explained. 'Now I'm just sitting in our apartment, unsure where to go next. That money was there for future treatments, it was money I helped accrue … To take it all. I just can't.' Paul Brunson, a relationship counsellor and British TV host, recently discussed the disturbing phenomenon on an episode of 'Diary of a CEO' with Steven Bartlett, describing it as 'alarming' and 'shocking'. 'What these men say is that they're no longer getting their emotional or physical intimacy needs met, and as a result of no longer getting this thing, they're out,' he explained. 'There's a disproportionate amount of the relationship that is placed on the physical side.' Reaction to the Marie's situation, and the shocking statistics surrounding sick women, has been overwhelming as many women express disgust but not shock. 'You WILL beat the cancer, and you will thrive agaï¸in. What goes around comes around,' one commented. 'I'm not surprised, there's not a single man in the comments showing support,' another added. As one remarked: 'I'm just shocked that it's not higher a higher percentage of men.'
Fast Company
07-07-2025
- Health
- Fast Company
How to navigate work when dealing with a major medical issue
I have a brain tumor. The good news is that it's benign. The bad news is that I need surgery to remove it. Brain surgery typically involves a lengthy recovery period. Six weeks, at a minimum. On top of navigating the emotions that come with such a diagnosis, I've had to figure out what work will look like as I recover. More specifically: how I will manage not working for such a long period of time. This isn't the first time I've experienced a major life event in my career (unfortunately). The Extreme Planner in me immediately started to figure out the logistics. If you're going through something similar, I feel you. If you've never faced a significant medical challenge, I hope it stays that way. But I write this so that if you ever need it, you can return to this article. And I write this so if you need to support someone going through a medical challenge, you know where to start. Talking with your boss or team Telling other people about a medical diagnosis is deeply personal. There's no right or wrong time. I'm self-employed, so I talked with my clients as soon as I had more definitive information (a surgery date). For 10 agonizing days, I knew that I had a brain tumor and my clients didn't. I somehow fumbled my way through deadlines and normal client communications as though nothing was wrong. But for me it made sense to talk about my diagnosis as soon as possible. My clients could start to plan for my absence. Plus, I have a lot of doctor's appointments leading up to the surgery date that I need to work around. When I previously had a medical issue in 2017, I told only my boss and one or two close colleagues. I didn't want to talk about it. It was strictly a 'need-to-know' basis. Bottom line: Do what feels right for you. Navigating the pressures of working Living with a brain tumor is Not Fun. There are a lot of unknowns around the outcome of surgery. The same is true for many medical conditions: Fear, pain, or both may impact your life daily. One benefit of telling your boss or team is that hopefully they're compassionate. They'll lighten your workload or understand if you have to rearrange deadlines. But you're likely also facing financial pressure. With most companies having limits on paid sick time, you probably feel like you have to keep working until the point when you can't anymore. I certainly feel that pressure—even guilt—as I think about the gap in my family's income as I recover. I finally decided to take a break between my last working day and my surgery date. During that time, I'm going to take my family to a show in Chicago and maybe get a pedicure. I have a special lunch date planned with my husband. If you're facing a potentially life-altering surgery or other procedure, don't spend your last few days 'before' working. Enjoy the time as best you can. How to ask for support Here's the thing about telling people that you're experiencing a major medical issue: People want to help. They'll ask you if there's anything they can do, because they know you're going through something rough. When I first told people about my brain tumor, they told me to let them know if there was anything they could do. For a long time, I said, 'I'll let you know.' I couldn't think of anything, because my mind was still reeling from the shock of the diagnosis. But then I started to ask for help with specific things. I thought about the people in my life, and how their skills might help keep my business running while I can't work. I circled back with some people who had offered support and said, 'Can you do XYZ for me?' If you work for a company, you can do the same thing. Make a list of the things that would truly make your workday easier so you're ready anytime someone asks, 'How can I help?' How to provide support If you're on the other side and a colleague or professional contact is going through something hard, offer specific ways you can help. So many people (like me) are overwhelmed and don't know how to reply when someone offers support. Say, 'Can I take ABC off your plate? Or XYZ?' rather than 'Let me know if there's anything you need!' It reduces the mental load of the person you're trying to help. Check in again, even after weeks or months have passed. The person's needs may change. Significant medical issues can be long-lasting. People are eager to offer help at the beginning, but that fades over time—especially at work, where it's easy to be removed from people's personal lives.
Yahoo
02-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Family set to be filmed for DIY SOS launch appeal to bring 13-year-old son home
A family set to be filmed on DIY SOS has issued an urgent appeal for help to bring their 13-year-old son home. Dan Flemen's life drastically changed after he began experiencing flu-like symptoms in November 2022. This turned out to be a sign of a severe brain tumour. Dan went from being an active teenager volunteering at church to needing constant care after a stroke left him with severe disabilities. He is now non-verbal, cannot sit unaided, requires night-time ventilation support, and needs round-the-clock care. Dan has had to stay in hospital since his diagnosis (Image: Supplied) Due to the extensively specialised care Dan now requires, his family home no longer meets the requirements for his needs. His house in Freckleton, Lancashire, is not accessible, meaning that Dan has had to stay in hospital since his diagnosis in November 2022. Dan's mum, Julie, has moved into hospital accommodation to be close to her son, while his dad, Nigel, and two sisters travel more than 50 miles to be with him. The renovations required to transform the family home into a safe and suitable environment for Dan include a private accessible bedroom, an adapted bathroom, facilities for full-time care and a suitable social space. Getting these changes made quickly and under budget means Dan can be with his family as soon as the work is finished. However, these renovations are far beyond the family's means. Good news has come in the form of a community effort. READ MORE: Pictures: Scooter rally returns as crowds enjoy ride-in and live music Why Darwen's Mill & Yarn deserves your vote in best barbers contest Ian McKellen 'holds back tears' after appearing at Glastonbury with Scissor Sisters The BBC's DIY SOS series has stepped up and will air the family's journey, with filming in Freckleton scheduled from July 16 to 23. Contributions have also come from the automotive industry charity, Ben, and the local authority is also offering support. However, volunteers and contributions are still needed. If you would like to donate, more information can be found here:
Daily Mail
02-07-2025
- Daily Mail
Lonely wife, 44, sent intimate pictures to a Nigerian love scammer who threatened to reveal their 'affair' to her husband and teenage sons...but what happened next was the real tragedy
A married mother-of-two was left heartbroken after falling victim to a cruel blackmail plot by a Nigerian scammer who had pressured her into sending him intimate pictures. In 2019, Gail Astin, from Jedburgh, Scotland, hit the headlines when she revealed how she'd sent thousands of pounds, as well as naked selfies, to a man she'd met online while feeling lonely in her marriage to husband Simon. The 44-year-old believed she was talking to David Williams, a US marine engineer working in Nigeria, but when he started demanding more money not to expose their online affair, she called the police and confessed all to Simon. Although her husband was angry, he said that he'd never considered leaving his wife and partly blamed himself for not paying her enough attention. It seemed that the situation had come to a happy conclusion with the couple vowing to move on together as a family, and communicate more openly. However, it can now be revealed that the following year, as the family thought they had put their troubles behind them, Gail was diagnosed with a brain tumour and died just two months later, aged 46. Paying tribute to his wife of 18 years, Simon spoke of his 'best friend and soulmate' who gave him their 'two wonderful sons', who were teenagers at the time. 'The messages of support and encouragement she received when we told people about her illness left her very humbled,' he told the Burnley Express. 'She never realised how well liked she was.' Her diagnosis came a year after she shared her experience of being scammed on social media in 2018, after falling for a man who said he was a 55-year-old widower called David Williams, a US marine engineer and father working in Nigeria. At the time Gail had been signed off work with stress and was struggling to confide in Simon, who she married in 2002. She said she was desperate for friendship after feeling 'isolated' following the family's move from Burnley to the Scottish border in 2011, and was unable to find a way to talk to her family about her mental health, So when 'caring' David got in touch out of the blue on social media, the mother-of-two felt 'special again' and she quickly fell for the stranger after exchanging messages daily. David, who claimed he was originally from Texas, said he had moved to Nigeria for work, and needed financial support for food and travel. 'He always came across as caring and sympathetic towards me,' she said. 'He took an interest in what I was going through. My husband was struggling with how to deal with my feelings. 'He's not an emotional person so for a long time, I bottled my own emotions up.' 'I felt lonely and needed someone to talk to. He caught me at a low point. 'At first he asked for £200 for iTunes cards so he could buy data for his phone. He seemed so desperate and just kept asking me. He was persistent. 'He started asking for more and more but he promised he would get the money back to me. I honestly believed him.' In September, after just a month of chatting daily on Instagram and later on WhatsApp, David 'pleaded' to Gail for her to send him naked photos. 'He always told me to trust him, and I did,' she explained. 'He told me his wife had died and I felt sorry for him. He pulled on my heart strings. 'I knew in my head that what I was doing was wrong but I did still it. I can't explain why. I was just in the wrong frame of mind.' In several transactions between August and December, she sent hundreds and then thousands of pounds at a time, allegedly to fund David's travel back to the US to see his daughter Sharon, after his three-month contract in Nigeria came to an end. After months of building up trust, all of Gail's personal information was used against her by the fraudster Her money was sent to different banks in the US and Nigeria, into accounts belonging to different people. 'David' said they were collecting the cash on his behalf as he didn't have a Nigerian bank account,' Gail said. Gail admitted she knew she was being 'used' emotionally, but she sent him cash via international money transfer service, MoneyGram. 'He said he couldn't get home if I didn't send him the money,' she added. 'By this point he had made me feel special, I felt nice. I fell for him. 'I was getting more and more suspicious but he always promised to get the money back to me when he got back to America.' Gail started to doubt David's promise to pay up when he refused to help pay off her Visa bill in November 2018. She refused to send him more money the following month, and David instantly 'turned nasty' and threatened to send her naked photos to her friends and family. He hounded Gail with messages and told her: 'You will send £2,000 to an account of my choice'. His messages said: 'I am going to be blunt with you as I don't have the luxury of wasting time.' 'You will listen to what I have to say and you will listen good.' 'You have one hour. Get the cops involved and everyone including Scottish borders will know. 'Do not f**k with me am not here to play games. The tough girl act is just going to make things worse for you. 'I wonder how your [family] will think of you when your nicked [sic] pictures get viral.' Finally, Gail phoned police - and confessed to Simon, who promised to stand by his wife. 'I didn't want to send him any more money. When I said no he told me he would send the photos to my mum, dad, sister and husband,' she said. 'I'm ashamed of what I did. I didn't want to take the photos but he wouldn't stop asking for them. 'I didn't want to hurt Simon but I didn't know what else to do. I had to tell him.' Gail phoned 999 on December 5, 2018, after feeling 'suicidal' and then called Simon. She said: 'I phoned Simon and told him to come home from work because the police were at our house. I said I'd explain everything. 'He was angry. I feared for my marriage and I did say that if he wants me to go, I will leave. 'We try not to talk about it because it makes him very angry. He has struggled to come to terms with it all. I feel guilty because we have lost so much money. I hate myself for what I've done and I thought he would leave me.' Simon didn't leave his wife - despite admitting the experience almost 'broke' them - and paid off her debts by dipping into his late father's inheritance money. Health and safety adviser Simon even later blamed himself for a time and questioned whether or not he'd showed his wife enough love and attention. 'I had no idea what was going on and I was absolutely clueless and in the dark,' he admitted. 'I had all sorts running through my mind. 'I started to feel guilty. I thought I hadn't paid her enough attention and felt completely inadequate. 'It was all too much to take in. I couldn't comprehend why she would do what she did. 'I came to terms with the fact the money was gone forever. 'At one point I didn't know if we would get through it but I never actually considered leaving her. 'I just wanted to put it all behind us and move on. We are over that rocky patch and we are moving on as a family now.' Speaking to the press in 2019, Gail had said she was still being threatened with the photos by the scammer, but had changed her phone numbers, email addresses and social media accounts. And she felt grateful that Simon was committed to repairing their fractured relationship and 'gave her a second chance'. 'I have promised to never ever speak to anyone I don't know online,' she added. 'I will never hide anything from him again. 'We have just had to accept that the money is gone.' It turned out the fraudster was actually using photos of a Portuguese businessman, Pedro Hipolito, 51, who was furious after discovering the trickster was using his image to exploit vulnerable women. Mr Hipolito, who lives in Portugal, and runs a business which helps companies work in Africa, said he believed his work in the continent makes his identity an 'easy target'. But despite enlisting staff to report 'countless' fake social media accounts posing as him, he found it impossible to stop the fraudster. 'It's a crime and I hate that people are doing this. It's unstoppable. Something must be done to stop these fake accounts,' he told outlets six years ago. 'It has happened to me frequently. It's not the first time it has happened and it doesn't surprise me. 'It's terrible that lonely people are the victims. All they want is joy in their lives and they are vulnerable. 'It does concern me, that my photos are being used. But I am not the victim here although it does damage my image.' At the time, a Police Scotland spokesperson said the online fraud offence was being investigated, and inquiries were ongoing. MailOnline has reached out to Police Scotland for an update. Sadly, just as Gail and her family were moving on from the scam, she was diagnosed with a brain tumour in July 2020. A month later, she was told that due to the location of the tumour, it wasn't possible to operate and all doctors could offer was chemo and radiotherapy to extend her life. She was told she may have as little as three months to live, but could survive up to a year if the treatment was successful. Gail curated a 'bucket list' which included swimming with dolphins, a hot air balloon ride - and lunch with her favourite footballer, Jay Rodriguez - who was at the time with her Burnley FC. Sadly, while Jay was keen to meet Gail for lunch, the joyous surprise had be cancelled due to a hospital appointment. 'After that Gail became gravely ill and was taken into hospital,' Simon told Burnley Express. 'But Jay Rod kept in touch and messaged to say how sorry he was to hear about Gail and he has got in a touch also to see how I am.' He also revealed how it was their mutual love of the football team that brought them together in the first place - as the pair connected through an online fan group. They first met after Gail offered to help Simon get some tickets for a game - and were engaged within six months. The couple continued to be ardent fans - even after Simon's work took the family much further north, to the Scottish borders. 'As the boys got older we started to take them and we even got season tickets,' he told the outlet. 'It was hard work travelling from so far away but Gail lived for the weekends. She loved meeting up with all the other supporters at the cricket club where the boys could play outside and run around. 'Gail made so many friends from all over the country through the football. Everyone always commented on her infectious smile and bubbly personality but she was also quite a private person and family was very important to her.' When it came to her funeral, Simon had encouraged mourners to come dressed as they would for a match - as his beloved late wife was 'was never happier than when fraternising with the away fans at the cricket club and being amongst her fellow Clarets'.
BBC News
30-06-2025
- Health
- BBC News
West Hanney man's brain tumour grew 'for more than a decade'
"I woke up eventually to what looked like two green aliens."When Charlie Broadhurst went to bed early with a mild sickness bug and a tingling in his lip in January 2022 he was actually woken by paramedics in their green married father-of-two from West Hanney had experienced a seizure and was taken to the John Radcliffe Hospital in was referred to an epilepsy clinic, but unbeknown to everyone he had a brain tumour, and doctors had already missed it. Previously Charlie had been experiencing headaches, but following an MRI scan in 2011 he was told it was a sinus infection, though he was advised to visit his optician."I kind of left it and when I did have a headache made sure I was wearing my glasses a little bit more," he tells the the seizure in 2022 he was booked in for another MRI."They were quite confident there was nothing to worry about, and then I got the phone call about six weeks later that there was something to worry about," he was diagnosed with a grade II astrocytoma, a brain tumour that had been visible on a CT scan in 2011, and had grown undetected for more than a decade."The hospital were very quick and honest," Charlie explains."It was very small and they admitted straight away that they missed it."But he said the doctors had since "been brilliant the whole way through". Charlie has undergone brain surgery twice, and a good amount of the tumour has been successfully also had six weeks of daily radiotherapy and six months of chemotherapy, which he describes as "really hard going."He now has scans every six months to monitor the tumour. Charlie's wife Siobhan says finding out about it was "terrifying".But she says: "We very much got on with it... I think it has taken its toll on our children because for two years through the treatment life's a bit chaotic."Siobhan has been taking part in fundraising ever since "because we need more awareness, more research, and ultimately more hope".She is about to take part in the 88 Squats a Day in July challenge for Brain Tumour Jones, head of community and digital fundraising at the charity, said: "Stories like Charlie's highlight the urgent need for more research into brain tumours, which remain the biggest cancer killer of children and adults under 40 in the UK." "At the moment it's all positive stuff, the tumour's stable, but the type of tumour it is, at some point it won't be great news," Charlie says."But what we're doing is making the most of everything and focussing on those six-month scans, and doing anything the doctors tell me to do, and keeping my two boys happy, and doing everything we can with them." You can follow BBC Oxfordshire on Facebook, X, or Instagram.
