Latest news with #compromise
Forbes
2 days ago
- General
- Forbes
1 Subtle Skill That's Crucial For A Happy Marriage, By A Psychologist
When we talk about what makes marriages work, the word 'compromise' often takes center stage. We imagine two people meeting in the middle, giving up a little of what they want so the relationship stays balanced. And no, it's not painful every time. Sometimes we do so out of sheer love for our partners. While compromise certainly has its place, real-life cases suggest there's a deeper skill that predicts lasting happiness in marriage, and that's 'cognitive generosity.' Cognitive generosity is all about making the choice to interpret your partner's intentions, behaviors and words in the most generous and loving light possible. It's the mental habit of assuming goodwill rather than criticism, even in the messy, everyday moments of life together. Instead of focusing on who gave up what, you focus on the meaning behind your partner's actions. Couples who adopt this way of thinking often find that their marriage feels lighter and that they feel more connected to each other. Little misunderstandings don't spiral so easily, moments of care stand out more vividly and even disagreements feel less like battles and more like opportunities to grow together. This ends up building the foundation of a resilient marriage. Here are three ways cognitive generosity proves more powerful than mere compromise. 1. It Prevents Resentment Before It Begins Compromise often feels like a trade-off: 'I'll give up this if you give up that.' While it may solve a conflict in the moment, it can leave behind a sense of resentment if one partner feels they're sacrificing more than the other. This is where cognitive generosity changes everything. Instead of tallying who gave up what, you choose to see your partner's actions through a kinder lens. A 2018 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science shows that we often miss our partner's sacrifices, and when we do, the partner who sacrificed ends up feeling unappreciated and less satisfied in the relationship. On the flip side, simply 'perceiving' a sacrifice, even if none was declared, boosts feelings of gratitude and closeness. So, when your spouse forgets to call while running late, compromise might mean you 'let it go' but secretly stew in frustration. Cognitive generosity, however, allows you to think, 'They must have been caught up at work; I know they value me even if they slipped this time.' This generous interpretation not only protects your gratitude; it also shields your partner from the hurt of being unfairly seen as neglectful. That mental shift keeps bitterness from building up and preserves emotional safety in your marriage. 2. It Fuels Daily Affection And Trust Compromise usually happens around big, noticeable decisions, such as dealing with finances, parenting or sorting out career paths. But the real core of a marriage lives in navigating daily micro-moments together. This is where cognitive generosity comes in handy. By choosing to notice the intent behind small gestures, like your partner making you coffee or sending a loving text, you create a feedback loop of appreciation. Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships shows that such compassionate acts involving thoughtful favors or small kindnesses reliably boost both partners' daily marital satisfaction. What's more, their impact is strongest when both people recognize them. That's why generous interpretations matter so much. Instead of thinking, 'They didn't do the dishes again,' cognitive generosity helps you reframe: 'They've been so swamped, but I see they made time to walk the dog so I could rest.' By choosing to see and acknowledge these gestures, whether big or small, you're reinforcing the very behaviors that nurture affection and trust. Over time, this cycle of recognition becomes more protective of your marriage than any formal compromise ever could. 3. It Strengthens The 'Us' Mindset Sometimes, without you even realizing it, constant compromise can make you feel like two individuals negotiating against each other: my needs vs. your needs. Cognitive generosity, by contrast, reinforces the sense of 'we.' It's not about splitting the pie evenly but about seeing the relationship itself as the priority. Research supports this mental shift. A 2018 study shows that when spouses use adaptive strategies like putting things into perspective, positive refocusing or reappraising challenges, they're more likely to engage in positive dyadic coping — which refers to supporting each other, sharing the load and working together in stressful times. This, in turn, boosts both partners' satisfaction. So, when you assume the best about your partner, you're not just easing tension, you're creating the mindset that allows teamwork to flourish. Instead of slipping into blame during a disagreement, you can remind yourself: 'We're on the same team, and I trust their intentions, even if we disagree on the method.' This intentional psychological shift from 'me versus you' to 'us versus the problem' is one of the strongest predictors of marital resilience. It's actually not all that difficult to train yourself to interpret your partner's actions with kindness, especially when you do so with the intention of protecting your marriage from building up resentment. So maybe instead of asking, 'What can we compromise on today?' You try asking, 'How can I view my partner more generously today?' Is your relationship built on generous thinking, or silent scorekeeping? Find out by taking the science-backed Relationship Flourishing Test.
Russia Today
3 days ago
- Politics
- Russia Today
Zelensky trashes Trump's peace terms
Vladimir Zelensky has rejected US President Donald Trump's call for territorial concessions to Russia, claiming no such agreement would be accepted by the Ukrainian people. Trump's special envoy Steve Witkoff visited Moscow this week and reportedly made significant progress toward a compromise aimed at ending the conflict between Russia and Ukraine. The US president said the proposal includes 'some swapping of territories to the betterment of both' sides and that Zelensky would need to find a way to approve such a deal under Ukrainian law. In his regular video address on Saturday, Zelensky stressed that Ukraine's borders are defined by its constitution and that 'nobody can or will' make concessions on the issue. 'The Ukrainians will not give their land to the occupiers,' he proclaimed. Zelensky added that Ukrainians will only respect a 'real, living peace,' warning that 'any decision taken against us and without us, without Ukraine, would be a decision against peace.' Earlier this week, Zelensky acknowledged that Ukraine is not in a position to forcibly retake Russian territories claimed by Kiev. The Ukrainian military relies heavily on Western weapons, funding and intelligence. The government is counting on sustained long-term support. Russian officials have repeatedly accused Zelensky of denying reality and prolonging a conflict he cannot win. Moscow says it intends to achieve its core national security objectives, preferably through diplomacy. The Ukrainian Constitution, which Zelensky cited, also requires a president to hand power to either a newly elected successor or the parliament speaker when their term ends. Zelensky did neither when his term expired last year, retaining power under martial law. Last month, Zelensky clashed with Ukraine's foreign backers after his administration pushed through legislation eliminating the independence of the National Anti-Corruption Bureau, created in 2015 under Western pressure. However, he quickly reversed the measure after aid donors threatened to suspend assistance.
Yahoo
3 days ago
- Politics
- Yahoo
Stakes high for Trump-Putin summit as Zelenskyy faces nightmare deal
For Ukraine - its exhausted, brave soldiers, its thousands of bereaved families mourning their dead, and its beleaguered president - it is exactly what they feared it would be. They fear the compromise they will be forced to make will be messy, costly, unfair and ultimately beneficial to the invading tyrant who brought death and destruction to their sovereign land. Six weeks ago, I .I put it to him in our Sky News interview that Presidents Trump and Putin were heading towards making a deal between themselves, a grand bargain, in which Ukraine was but one piece on the chess board. smiled as if to acknowledge the reality ahead. He paused and then he said this: "We are not going to be a card in talks between great nations, and we will never accept that… I definitely do not want to see global deals between America and . "We don't need it. We are a separate story, a victim of Russian aggression and we will not reward it." It was a response that betrayed his greatest fear - that this will become essentially a Trump negotiation in which Zelenskyy and will be told "take it or leave it". And, by the way, if you "leave it", then it will be painful. Harsh realities It's the prospect that now confronts Zelenskyy as and plough ahead on a course that has clear attractions for both of them. Of course, Zelenskyy is right to say there can be no deal without Ukraine. But there are harsh realities at play here. President Trump wants a deal on Ukraine - any deal - that he can chalk up as a win. He wants it badly and he wants it now. It's the impediment to a broader strategic deal with Putin and he wants it out of the way. It's what he does, and it's the way he does it. And President Putin knows it. He knows Trump, he sees an opportunity in Trump, and he can't get across Russia to Alaska fast enough. He will be back at global diplomacy's top table. Always a deal to be done Make no mistake, when Trump says he just wants to stop the killing, he means it. Such wanton loss of young lives offends him. He keeps saying it. He sees war, by and large, as an unnecessary waste of life and of money. Deals are there to be done. There's always a deal. Sadly for Ukraine, in this case, it is unlikely to be a fair deal. How can any deal be "fair" when you are the victim of outrageous brutality and heinous crimes. Read more: But it may well be the deal they have to take unless they want to fight an increasingly one-sided war with much less help from President Trump and America. A senior UK diplomat told me if things turn out as feared, it should not be called a land-for-peace deal. It should be called annexation "because that's what it is". But here's the rub. Peace, calm, the end of the nightly terror of war has much to recommend it. In short, a bad peace can often seem better than no peace. But, ultimately, rewarded dictators always come back for more. If Ukraine has to accept a bad peace, then it will want clear security guarantees to make sure it cannot happen again. It is the very least they deserve. There is much at stake in Alaska.
Sky News
3 days ago
- Politics
- Sky News
Stakes high for Trump-Putin summit as Zelenskyy faces nightmare deal
For Ukraine - its exhausted, brave soldiers, its thousands of bereaved families mourning their dead, and its beleaguered president - it is exactly what they feared it would be. They fear the compromise they will be forced to make will be messy, costly, unfair and ultimately beneficial to the invading tyrant who brought death and destruction to their sovereign land. Six weeks ago, I spoke to President Zelenskyy in London. I put it to him in our Sky News interview that Presidents Trump and Putin were heading towards making a deal between themselves, a grand bargain, in which Ukraine was but one piece on the chess board. Zelenskyy smiled as if to acknowledge the reality ahead. He paused and then he said this: "We are not going to be a card in talks between great nations, and we will never accept that… I definitely do not want to see global deals between America and Russia. "We don't need it. We are a separate story, a victim of Russian aggression and we will not reward it." 35:37 It was a response that betrayed his greatest fear - that this will become essentially a Trump negotiation in which Zelenskyy and Ukraine will be told "take it or leave it". And, by the way, if you "leave it", then it will be painful. Harsh realities It's the prospect that now confronts Zelenskyy as Trump and Putin plough ahead on a course that has clear attractions for both of them. Of course, Zelenskyy is right to say there can be no deal without Ukraine. But there are harsh realities at play here. President Trump wants a deal on Ukraine - any deal - that he can chalk up as a win. He wants it badly and he wants it now. It's the impediment to a broader strategic deal with Putin and he wants it out of the way. It's what he does, and it's the way he does it. And President Putin knows it. He knows Trump, he sees an opportunity in Trump, and he can't get across Russia to Alaska fast enough. He will be back at global diplomacy's top table. Always a deal to be done Make no mistake, when Trump says he just wants to stop the killing, he means it. Such wanton loss of young lives offends him. He keeps saying it. He sees war, by and large, as an unnecessary waste of life and of money. Deals are there to be done. There's always a deal. 6:04 Sadly for Ukraine, in this case, it is unlikely to be a fair deal. How can any deal be "fair" when you are the victim of outrageous brutality and heinous crimes. But it may well be the deal they have to take unless they want to fight an increasingly one-sided war with much less help from President Trump and America. A senior UK diplomat told me if things turn out as feared, it should not be called a land-for-peace deal. It should be called annexation "because that's what it is". But here's the rub. Peace, calm, the end of the nightly terror of war has much to recommend it. In short, a bad peace can often seem better than no peace. But, ultimately, rewarded dictators always come back for more. If Ukraine has to accept a bad peace, then it will want clear security guarantees to make sure it cannot happen again. It is the very least they deserve. There is much at stake in Alaska.
Russia Today
3 days ago
- Politics
- Russia Today
Zelensky trashes Trump's peace demands
Vladimir Zelensky has rejected US President Donald Trump's call for territorial concessions to Russia, claiming no such agreement would be accepted by the Ukrainian people. Trump's special envoy Steve Witkoff visited Moscow this week and reportedly made significant progress toward a compromise aimed at ending the conflict between Russia and Ukraine. The US president said the proposal includes 'some swapping of territories to the betterment of both' sides and that Zelensky would need to find a way to approve such a deal under Ukrainian law. In his regular video address on Saturday, Zelensky stressed that Ukraine's borders are defined by its constitution and that 'nobody can or will' make concessions on the issue. 'The Ukrainians will not give their land to the occupiers,' he proclaimed. Zelensky added that Ukrainians will only respect a 'real, living peace,' warning that 'any decision taken against us and without us, without Ukraine, would be a decision against peace.' Earlier this week, Zelensky acknowledged that Ukraine is not in a position to forcibly retake Russian territories claimed by Kiev. The Ukrainian military relies heavily on Western weapons, funding and intelligence. The government is counting on sustained long-term support. Russian officials have repeatedly accused Zelensky of denying reality and prolonging a conflict he cannot win. Moscow says it intends to achieve its core national security objectives, preferably through diplomacy. The Ukrainian Constitution, which Zelensky cited, also requires a president to hand power to either a newly elected successor or the parliament speaker when their term ends. Zelensky did neither when his term expired last year, retaining power under martial law. Last month, Zelensky clashed with Ukraine's foreign backers after his administration pushed through legislation eliminating the independence of the National Anti-Corruption Bureau, created in 2015 under Western pressure. However, he quickly reversed the measure after aid donors threatened to suspend assistance.
