Latest news with #copingmechanism
Forbes
4 days ago
- Science
- Forbes
2 Reasons We Feel Better When Others Are Worse Off — By A Psychologist
Most of us have a natural tendency to compare ourselves to others. This can be explained by social comparison theory, developed by psychologist Leon Festinger, which suggests that we determine our self-worth by comparing ourselves to others. When others experience setbacks, we may experience a range of emotions in response, from empathy to pity to even joy at their misfortune. While feeling happy about someone else's pain may sound strange, it's not as uncommon as you might think. This stems from our tendency for 'downward social comparison.' When we compare downward — i.e., to someone worse off — we often feel better about our own lives. It's a subtle, sometimes unconscious coping mechanism, especially in moments of self-doubt. The emotional experience of pleasure in response to another's misfortune is called Schadenfreude, a German word that combines Schaden, which means 'damage,' and Freude, which means 'joy.' Schadenfreude often occurs in competitive environments. For instance, you may feel happy when an employee who cozies up to your boss performs poorly and gets berated by them. This is because people have an inherent need to feel better about themselves and often acquire a better self-image by comparing themselves to others who may be less fortunate. Consequently, people who feel their self-worth is threatened are more likely to feel Schadenfreude. Here are two key reasons why you may be feeling happy about somebody else's suffering: 1. Schadenfreude May Boost Self-esteem In Competitive Scenarios Why do we feel a sense of guilty pleasure at someone's downfall? In a 2017 study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, researchers sought to answer this question. They tested whether Schadenfreude met any of these four basic psychological needs: the need for self-esteem, control, belongingness and a meaningful existence. Researchers conducted four experiments, all of which pointed to similar outcomes: Schadenfreude does meet our basic need to reaffirm our social standing through comparisons, especially when we compare ourselves to a rival we're envious of. In the first study, participants were asked to imagine being in a job interview, which was also being attended by their primary university competitor. They were told that only one would get the position. In the competitive scenario, participants felt more schadenfreude and need satisfaction than in non-competitive circumstances. Researchers found that they felt more in charge, experienced higher self-esteem and felt a greater sense of belonging. In another situation, they were asked to recall a real-time scenario when their competitor failed. Once again, researchers found that more schadenfreude led to increased feelings of self-esteem, a greater sense of personal control and a stronger perception of meaning in life. Seeing someone else fail or struggle can shield us from feelings of inadequacy, at least for the time being. When life feels out of control, seeing others in similar or worse positions makes our own experiences feel less like personal failures and more like part of a shared human messiness. This is especially true in more competitive scenarios. We all want to believe we're doing 'okay' in life. If someone else is doing worse than us, it affirms that we're not falling behind. 2. Schadenfreude May Reaffirm Your Belief In A Just World Interestingly, another 2013 study published in the Australian Journal of Psychology found a link between schadenfreude and beliefs in a 'just' world. When people's belief in a just world was threatened, they felt more pleasure when someone else suffered a misfortune. For example, they might laugh more at a story where someone 'gets what they deserve.' This may be because they want to restore their belief that the world is fair. When someone holds such beliefs, they're more likely to think that good things happen to good people, while misfortune finds those who deserve it. If they can't help the victim, they might instead blame the victim or believe the person deserved it. This way, they get to justify the misfortune that befell them. However, this does not always indicate that the victim is deserving of punishment or that they are responsible for the outcome. Does Schadenfreude Make You A Bad Person? Schadenfreude doesn't automatically make you a terrible human being. The practice of downward comparison may feel cruel, but that is not always the intention. These reactions often happen without our conscious awareness, and you may have tried to push these thoughts away, knowing it wasn't right. This sense of awareness and moral grounding is what differentiates you from someone that deliberately wants to watch others fail. However, if you find yourself constantly hoping for someone else's downfall and actively trying to put them in compromising situations, that may be worrisome. Instead of trying to eliminate the instinct entirely, try to notice it but avoid giving it too much power. Otherwise, it may make you complacent and feel less motivated to improve because you think 'at least, I'm not that bad.' If you must compare, try to shift your mindset to lateral or upward comparisons that inspire change. Try to put in effort to grow. Look at people doing 'better' than you and learn from them. If seeing others do better than you makes you feel like you're 'not enough' or that you haven't 'achieved enough,' try comparing yourself to those only one or two steps ahead of you. That way, you can realistically map out your progress. You may also want to mark your progress against your past self. Self-comparison allows you to see how far you've come and where you want to go from here, but like any form of comparison, it's a double-edged sword that can make you spiral about your flaws. The healthiest approach is to learn to accept yourself right where you are, without any sense of comparison, viewing your journey in this life as strictly your own. When you begin to embrace the feeling of being and having 'enough,' you naturally stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors or trying to bring others down. Do you often take pleasure in others' misfortune to make yourself feel better? Take this science-backed test to find out: The Schadenfreude Scale
Daily Mail
25-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Everyone's talking about Pedro Pascal's 'hot girl anxiety'...but is there any real science behind it?
is everywhere lately. Headlining TV and film's biggest projects like The Last of Us and Materialists, the 50-year-old actor has had his share of viral moments this year. Now, ahead of his Marvel debut as Reed Richards in Fantastic Four: First Steps, Pascal has gone viral yet again for having what his fans have dubbed 'hot girl anxiety.' In a 2023 interview, Pascal told The Last of Us co-star Bella Ramsey that he places a hand on his chest or reaches out to someone close to him to help manage his anxiety during high-stress moments, like red carpets and press tours. But social media users have recently branded his so-called coping mechanism PDA with female co-stars like Vanessa Kirby as 'creepy.' However, psychologists speaking with said physical touch with oneself or another person is 'one of the most powerful and natural ways' to cope with anxiety disorders, which affect nearly one in five US adults. They explained a hug or holding a loved one's hand releases 'cuddle hormones' that help form social bonds and reduce the body's stress response. Even putting a hand on your chest stops the release of stress hormones and stimulates the vagus nerve, signaling to the body that it's time to relax. And while a hug is no substitute for medications and therapy for those suffering from anxiety disorders, touch could help ward off an anxiety attack before it starts. Eagle-eyed fans and critics pointed to several instances of Pascal's touchiness. In one recent interview, he and Kirby were shown holding hands, hugging, and even touching each other's faces during the press tour for The Fantastic Four: First Steps. And on the red carpet earlier this month, Pascal was seen with a hand on Kirby's pregnant belly. The appearances have drawn criticism. An X user reacted in one tweet: 'me wondering why Pedro Pascal never has 'anxiety' around his male co-workers.' On the flip side, fans came to his defense, with one writing: 'I think most of the anger directed at Pedro Pascal is men not knowing what consent is.' has reached out to Pascal's representatives for comment. Dr Susan Albers, a clinical psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, told 'Touch is one of the most powerful and natural ways to calm anxiety, and it can include anything from a hug, holding hands, even placing a hand over your heart.' She explained the 'key ingredient' is oxytocin, a hormone and neurotransmitter nicknamed the 'love hormone' or 'cuddle hormone.' This is released by the hypothalamus - the brain's hormone control center - during childbirth and lactation but also during physical social interactions to form a sense of trust. Dr Albers said: 'It makes us, when it's released, feel safe. It makes us feel connected and grounded, not only to other people, but also to your body.' This sense of security for many people dates back to infancy, when babies are best soothed by a parent holding, rocking or patting their back. 'These patterns, early on, regulate your nervous system and as an adult, we remember these calming pathways and they can be activated,' Dr Albers explained. She pointed toward psychologist Harry Harlow's experiments on monkeys in the 1950s and 1960s, in which baby monkeys were taken from their mothers and raised in labs. Many of them clung to cloth diapers, which researchers believe was to stimulate comfort that would have been provided by a mother's touch. Stopping an anxiety attack might not always require another person, though. Dr Michael Wetter, clinical psychologist at Wetter Psychological Services in Los Angeles, told 'Touching one's own chest—particularly in a slow, intentional way—can be a form of affective touch, a self-soothing gesture that promotes feelings of safety and groundedness.' Self touch stimulates the vagus nerve, part of the body's parasympathetic nervous system, which controls vital functions like digestion, heart rate and the immune system. When the vagus nerve is stimulated, it slows the release of cortisol, a hormone released during stress that sends the body into 'fight-or-flight' mode. This promotes relaxation and stress release. 'It essentially signals to the brain, 'I'm okay. I'm here. I'm safe.' This internal cue can interrupt the spiral of anxious thought and help re-anchor someone to the present moment,' Dr Wetter explained. Erica Schwartzberg, a psychotherapist in New York City, told that parasympathetic nervous system response, along with slow breathing, 'mimics the comforting feeling of being held, and it can be especially effective for people with anxiety who may feel overstimulated or out of control.' Someone with anxiety may notice physical side effects as well, Dr Pamela Walters, consultant psychiatrist at Eulas Clinics in the UK, told 'It's not all in the mind; it's in the body too,' she said. The release of oxytocin and slowing of cortisol has been shown to lower blood pressure, reduce heart rate and calm the digestive system. In addition to small gestures like someone's hand on your shoulder, psychiatrist Dr Carole Lieberman points to specific moves. She recommended to a butterfly hug, which involves crossing your arms over your chest and tapping your shoulders or upper arms while slowly breathing in and out. Dr Lieberman also pointed to grounding, when 'someone puts their feet on top of your feet' to help you feel closer to the floor. And while self touch can be effective for those who don't have a friend or loved one to grasp on to during an anxiety attack, Dr Albers also points toward weighted blankets or stuffed animals, which simulate physical contact. Whether you have another person to hold hands with or prefer self soothing, Dr Wetter told this website touch can be applied to most situations, even if you're not a famous actor. He said: 'For many people—whether they're performing on camera, sitting in a boardroom, or simply trying to get through a difficult day—these small, intentional physical gestures can be a surprisingly effective way to manage anxiety.'
Yahoo
13-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Richard Kind Gets Candid About Body Image After Being Teased for Being Overweight as a Kid: 'In My Head, I'm a Fat Person'
Richard Kind is looking back at his childhood and getting candid about body image The Curb Your Enthusiasm star, 68, opened up in a new interview with CBS News Sunday Morning about what he used as a coping mechanism while growing up as a "fat" kid "Still a fat kid even to this day. I'll never be a thin person… In my head, I'm a fat, fat person," Kind said of his mindset all these years laterRichard Kind is getting candid about body image and how he learned to "laugh at myself" after being teased as a child. The 68-year-old actor, known for his work in Curb Your Enthusiasm and beyond, revealed in a new interview with CBS News Sunday Morning that he was teased growing up as an overweight boy. 'I was a fat kid,' Kind said. 'I bet I was a loser. I might have made fun of me." Now years later, Kind shared that it was a friend at summer camp who taught him what he said was "absolutely" a coping mechanism. As he explained, his friend — also overweight — encouraged him to "laugh at myself." "He was a fat kid, too, who then lost weight. I eventually lost weight," the actor said. "Still a fat kid even to this day. I'll never be a thin person… In my head, I'm a fat, fat person." Elsewhere in his conversation with CBS News Sunday Morning's Jon LaPook, Kind opened up about his place in television and film — as the announcer on Everybody's Live with John Mulaney, in Only Murders in the Building and even on the cast of Sharknado 2. As he put it, he's grateful to be in the room with other stars. "I am parsley on a plate of meat and potatoes," he joked. "Now, I'm good. I look great there. I'm the freshest parsley! But they're meat and potatoes. What do I do? I help make the plate look great." Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. "That's fine. That's what I usually do," he added. "But I can be cut out. I'm just not necessary all the time. And I'm fine, fine, fine with that. I've made a career of it, haven't I?" Along the way, Kind also made friends with George Clooney. He recently discussed their longtime friendship on the June 9 episode of the Still Here Hollywood Podcast with Steve Kmetko, emphasizing Clooney's reputation as a prankster in the movie business. Asked to share some stories, Kind replied, 'But you will not hear them from me. You won't hear them from me for a couple of reasons. No. 1, George gets all the publicity he needs. I need a little more. So that's the first thing. The second thing is nobody tells them funnier than George.' Still, Kind called out his pal — whom he met while working on a failed '80s TV pilot — for a practical joke he'd 'forgotten' until recently. 'One night, years ago, I have to go to Vegas for some publicity,' Kind recalled, noting that he was staying at Clooney's old Los Angeles home at the time. 'I have my suitcase downstairs and [I'm] waiting for the car to come.' 'George, who had been in the kitchen or something like that, sits down at the foot of the stairs, and we're just chatting. We're gabbing,' Kind recalled. 'And I say, 'Oh, I forgot something,' and I go upstairs to get something. I come back downstairs, and then the car comes, and the guy who's driving the car takes the bag, and he puts it into the trunk, and I get driven to Burbank Airport, I think.' It wasn't until Kind went through airport security that Clooney's prank came to fruition. 'They pull me aside and they go, 'Sir, could you come here, please?' And I go, 'Yeah.' And he opens up the suitcase, and there's an Oscar and a SAG award that George put in my suitcase as we were waiting to go, and I have to schlep.' 'It's a good practical joke,' Kind added. Read the original article on People
Khaleej Times
30-06-2025
- General
- Khaleej Times
As missiles fly, Gen Z turns to dark humour, memes to let worries go viral, process war
When conflicts escalate between countries and headlines scream of missiles, invasions, and rising death tolls, many brace themselves for the relentless barrage of news and information. But for some in the younger generation, the first instinct is to open social media, scroll through memes, and laugh amid the grim reality. To them, this isn't being insensitive; it is how they process the chaos, understand what's happening and feel a little less alone. Experts say this kind of dark humour is often a coping mechanism, especially for those who have grown up surrounded by crisis with no real way to respond. To some, it may appear to be apathy. But for many Gen Z and Gen Alpha youth, it's the only way to cope with the weight of a world constantly in crisis. 'In a weird way, we're just trying to make sense of the chaos,' said 22-year-old Noura, who lives in Dubai. "If we don't laugh about it, we'll break down. And to be honest, sometimes we are laughing while we're breaking down." Stay up to date with the latest news. Follow KT on WhatsApp Channels. Noura, a Sudanese, said she doesn't see memes as jokes made at someone's expense but as a way to speak about things that feel too heavy to say out loud. "Sometimes it's the only way we can talk about what's going on without crying or feeling helpless," she said. "It's not that we don't care; it's that we care too much, and we don't know what to do with it." The internet has shifted the emotional register of how young people process violence. Memes have become the language of response, reaction, and survival. While older generations might turn to family or pray, this generation edits a video, adds text, emojis, and lets their worries go viral. Psychologists say it's not a sign of detachment but of a coping mechanism born out of overstimulation. "We're looking at young people who have grown up surrounded by endless bad news, with no real break," explained Dr Lina Farouk, a clinical psychologist based in Abu Dhabi. "They're bombarded with images of war, school shootings, climate disasters, and economic collapse, all on the same screen they use to talk to friends or watch cat videos. Humour becomes a way to protect themselves from emotional burnout." During the early days of the Russia-Ukraine war, jokes about WW3 flooded social media platforms. When tensions rose between Iran and Israel, TikTok users responded with skits pretending to be drafted soldiers or posting sarcastic 'fit checks' for the apocalypse. In Gaza, young people facing unimaginable realities still found moments to post memes that reflected both horror and resilience, sometimes even while the bombs rained down. "This is not mockery,' said Rami, a 26-year-old Palestinian content creator. 'Sometimes humour is the only way to tell the truth without being censored or shut down. Sometimes, it's the only way to stay sane.' The internet has made every conflict feel close. And in a culture where there's little time to pause, the reaction is often immediate. But the backlash can be just as fast. Critics argue that trivialising war through memes risks desensitising people to the reality of human suffering. Others say it can be deeply disrespectful to those directly affected. Still, digital culture doesn't always fit traditional moral frameworks. And for young people, the line between sincerity and irony is often blurred. A meme can be both painful and funny at the same time. It can criticise, grieve, and mock, all in one post. Experts suggest that this isn't a passing trend but rather a reflection of how digital natives now experience the world. "We're witnessing the emotional evolution of an entire generation," said Dr. Farouk. "They may not have the same tools we did, but that doesn't mean they're not feeling it. In fact, they might be feeling it too much."
The Sun
19-06-2025
- Health
- The Sun
I drank 4 bottles of wine a day after getting dumped, not even AA or a broken face could stop me…a call changed it all
MY world fell apart on New Year's Eve 2008 when my fiance of six years told me he didn't love me anymore. I moved out of his flat that we shared the next day - heartbroken and lost. I didn't know what to do with the emotional pain, so I drank. 7 7 My relationship with alcohol quickly shifted from something social to a desperate coping mechanism. Nights were spent in a local pub with friends, and bottles of wine consumed with my mum Caroline until the anger or sadness passed. I wouldn't go out sober. Drinking felt essential. It gave me confidence, made me feel fun. But things began to spiral. I lost my job at New Look not long after. Someone had complained I smelled of alcohol. That part wasn't upheld - but instead of seeing it as a warning sign, I used it as justification. I told myself it was their fault I'd lost my job. It didn't stop me drinking - I drank more. In the jobs that followed, mainly in retail, I'd count down the hours until I could get home and pour a glass of wine. I was high-functioning enough that no one really knew. Or, at least, no one said anything. By 2015, I started hiding bottles of booze. That's when I knew, deep down, that something wasn't right. But I convinced myself it was no one else's business. I was living at my mum's while saving to move to Cambodia. I drank 7 bottles of vodka & 30 glasses of wine a week- I smashed teeth & was fired for being drunk, the booze broke me A friend had told me it was really nice and I thought a change of country might change me. But one night I came home from drinking, and my mum had lined up all the empty booze bottles on the kitchen side. There were about 15. She had found them shoved at the back of my wardrobe. I still remember the look on her face. There was no shouting - just quiet heartbreak. Moving to Cambodia on my own in 2016 gave me total freedom - but it also gave me a deep sense of loneliness. I was teaching English as a foreign language to young children, and lived with a woman from New Zealand in an apartment in Phnom Penh. But my behaviour didn't change. One night I'd ended up at a casino with a group of men I'd met in a bar, phone dead, no way for anyone to reach me. My housemate panicked so called my mum. I thought they were overreacting. That was my mindset. I hoped coming back to the UK after a year would fix me - but even on the flight back, and drinking a beer at the airport, I knew it wouldn't. 7 I got my own place, which meant there was no one around to see what I was doing. My mum tried to talk to me gently about it sometimes, and I'd make these half-hearted promises to cut down. But the truth is, living alone made it way too easy to carry on. Then came Christmas 2018 when I was 38. I was working in a pub, and after one of my shifts, I drank way too much. I ended up drink-driving home. I don't even remember doing it. My colleagues were so concerned they called the police. But again, I didn't see the danger - or my own responsibility. I blamed them. In my head, I was the victim. I never went back to that job but I also didn't drive again until I got sober in 2019, so a part of me knew. What to do if you think are an alcoholic IF you're struggling with alcohol addiction, the most important thing is to recognise the problem and seek support - You don't have to face it alone. Seek Professional Help GP or Doctor – A medical professional can assess your situation and provide advice on treatment options. Therapists or Counsellors – Talking to an addiction specialist can help address underlying causes and develop coping strategies. Rehab or Detox Programmes – If physical dependence is severe, medically supervised detox may be necessary. Consider Support Groups Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) – A well-known 12-step programme that provides peer support. SMART Recovery – A science-based alternative to AA, focusing on self-empowerment. Local Support Groups – Many communities have groups tailored to different needs. By the end, I was drinking between three and four bottles of wine a day. That had become my normal. I didn't even think it was excessive - it was just what I needed to get through the day. I stopped going out as much because it was easier to drink at home. When I did go out, I'd usually end up black-out drunk. I'd fall over, lose my keys, wake up in places I had no memory of ever going. It became too risky, too unpredictable. So I started choosing the sofa, a bottle - or four - and my own little bubble of self-pity. Eventually, I couldn't do anything without a drink in me. I needed at least two glasses of wine just to get ready for work because my hands would be shaking so much. I isolated myself a lot because I was trying so hard to hide what was really going on, as I didn't want to face questions from friends or family. I wasn't in a romantic relationship during that time. But I was promiscuous. I had a lot of one-night stands, thinking they'd somehow make me feel better. They didn't. I'd wake up filled with shame and self-loathing, and then use that as another excuse to drink. 7 7 In the summer of 2018, I experienced what should have been a rock bottom moment. That was when I fractured my face after a fall while drunk. But it wasn't. Not yet. I had to stop drinking for eight days while I was on antibiotics. But, the following week I celebrated by drinking again. A reward. I knew then I was in trouble. I went to my first AA meeting in January 2019. I was drunk when I went. I don't even remember much about it, but that was the first time I admitted something was wrong - even if I wasn't ready to deal with it yet. Alcohol and addiction had affected my confidence, my sense of self, my ability to trust my own thoughts. I stopped making plans for the future. I lived day-to-day, hour-to-hour, bottle-to-bottle. It robbed me of time. And, it impacted my health - my body was exhausted, my hands shook, I sweated constantly, my anxiety was through the roof. But I didn't care - my main concern was hiding the truth, from others, and most importantly, from myself. I told lies. I lived a double life: the version I showed the world and the one that sat at home pouring another glass. 7 The moment it all stopped wasn't loud or dramatic. It was May 2019, and I passed out at work working as a store manager of a retail shop. I was drinking all day, every day - even at work. When they found me unconscious, I felt pure shame. But still not surprised. At the same time, I was also in therapy, trying to cope without actually telling my therapist I was still drinking. Years of buried pain came up - heartbreak, my parents' divorce, the fallout from my cancelled wedding. I had no idea how to cope. So I drank more. But, that day, something cracked. I didn't want to live like this anymore. But I didn't want to die either. I'd been given the number for the Samaritans, and I called them. That call saved my life. After that, I rang my mum and told her I needed help. My mum suggested rehab. And four days later, I was in. Now, I've been sober for six years, since 8 May 2019. If I'm honest, I haven't found my recovery that hard - not in the way people expect. I accepted very early on that I just couldn't drink. I loved rehab. I soaked up everything. I started going to 12-step meetings and worked through a programme. The real shift came in October 2020, when I finally shared on social media that I was in recovery. I was tired of pretending. And the outpouring of love and 'me too' messages flipped something in my mind. Maybe I didn't have to hide. That's when I began helping others - and helping others helped me. That's how it works. On the outside, the changes are obvious - I look healthier, I show up, I've built a business. In 2022, I decided to write a book to help others. How Did I Get Here: Building A Life Beyond Alcohol wasn't just about sharing my story - it was about telling the truth. Even when I got sober, there weren't enough stories that talked about the identity crisis, the grief, the rediscovery, the unlearning, the rising. I wanted women to know they weren't broken. Drinking has been normalised, glamourised, romanticised to the point where not drinking makes you the weird one. But here's the truth: you don't need alcohol to have fun, to fit in, or to survive the day. And once you realise that, once you live that - you start to see the lie for what it is.
