Latest news with #datingapp
The Sun
7 hours ago
- The Sun
My man choked me, yanked my hair out & broke my ribs when I joked about his small penis – he had been the ‘perfect' guy
HEARING your partner say they want to settle down is music to the ears of most women. But for Jessica Donald it was the first in a series of red flags in her relationship with "perfect guy", Kevin Evans. While he might have seemed like a gentleman, Evans was jealous and paranoid, flying into a rage at a moment's notice and launching violent attacks on Jessica. He punched and choked Jessica and put her in hospital twice threatening to kill her if she tried to leave. 'I was so terrified I believed him,' Jessica told us. Having met on a dating app, the couple were enjoying a stroll through the local park on their first date when Evans confessed his future plans. Violent attacks 'It wasn't really what I was looking for,' Jessica confesses. 'After a recent breakdown, I'd been diagnosed with bipolar. I'd finally got my meds right and just wanted to ease back into dating.' Jessica, 44, who was nine years Evans' senior, described him as "nice-looking" and "charming". 'When he confided his parents had been abusive my heart broke for him,' she recalls. Within a few weeks of their first date in August 2017, things were quickly progressing for the couple. My perfect husband was hiding a twisted truth that led to a bloodbath – police found me in 'worst crime scene' ever Jessica, who lives in Canada, explains: 'He told me that he loved me. For a long while I'd felt bad about myself, now this wonderful man had swept me off my feet. I began to feel I loved and needed him too.' One night after the couple had been dating for just over a month, they visited a pub one evening for a few drinks. 'Swept off my feet' While they were there Jessica struck up conversation with a few strangers. 'I'm the sort of person who talks to everyone and innocently spoke to a man on the table next to us,' she says. 'But back at home Kevin was raging and accused me of trying to sleep with him. I told him that I was just making conversation and that he was crazy. 6 6 6 'Suddenly, his eyes darkened and he grabbed my throat with both hands and squeezed. I couldn't believe it was happening, at that moment I thought I was going to die.' Jessica desperately clawed at Evans hands and just as she was just about to pass out he let go. 'He apologised and told me that he loved me and didn't want to lose me,' she says. 'Thought I was going to die' 'I was in love with him and kept thinking how he'd been through so much as a kid. No wonder he lost it sometimes, I thought, excusing him.' But the next time the couple went to the pub, Evans accused Jessica of staring at another man. 'I denied it but he glared at me,' Jessica says. 'After that it became easier to face the wall when we went out, so I didn't get accused of anything.' It wasn't long before Evans' paranoia grew to new levels. 'He started demanding I give him my phone to check,' Jessica explains. 'He questioned me about every call or interaction with a male. 'During the day he called me constantly, freaking out if he couldn't reach me immediately. He would accuse me of being with someone else. 'After another night out, where I'd been accused of looking at a man, he grabbed my keys and threw them in a river. Luckily, they landed on a rock. 'As I yelled at him, he grabbed me, yanking my left arm up behind my back so forcefully I felt a pop and I screamed in agony.' The following day Jessica went to hospital but while no breaks were found she discovered that fractures don't always show. 'I was in pain for weeks and couldn't do a push up for months,' she says. Meanwhile, Evans' jealousy and violence escalated. 'Kevin beat and strangled me numerous times in a jealous rage or grabbed my hair and threw me around,' Jessica recalls. 'Clumps of hair fell out. He always gaslit me after his attacks, saying they weren't that bad, I was crazy, had hit him or provoked him.' Jessica began secretly taking pictures of her injuries. 'Clumps of hair fell out' 'If he killed me, I hoped someone would find the evidence of what had been happening,' she explains. 'I continued seeing Kevin though, believing he'd kill me if I ended things.' While Jessica was careful of how she acted around Evans, she says that sometimes she would 'snap back'. 'Kevin loved to talk himself up,' she says. Once, as I sat astride his lap, he boasted about a woman he'd slept with who, so he claimed, raved about his penis. "I told him I'd seen bigger. Suddenly, my chest and sides exploded in agony as Kevin slammed his fists into my ribs.' Jessica went to hospital where she discovered that she had fractured three ribs. Around April 2018, Evans began mentioning a new friend, called Jennifer*. 'I guessed he was seeing her and that I was now his side chick,' Jessica says. 'I hoped that he would lose interest in me completely.' That autumn Evans moved back to his hometown, hundreds of miles away, with Jennifer. 'I was relieved to have escaped our relationship with my life,' Jessica says. 'But I was scared for Jennifer. Relieved to have escaped "When I learned from social media that Christmas that she'd split from him I messaged her. It turned out she'd been through a similar hell.' Armed with this new information and worried Evans might return, in January 2019 Jessica went to the police about a court order to keep him away. The female officer explained that Evans would be charged with the assaults against Jessica. Months later Evans was charged with assaulting Jessica. Jennifer went to the police and had him charged with assaulting her too. 'By then I learned from social media he'd moved on with Stephanie*, a woman from his hometown,' Jessica says. In August 2019 Evans was charged with assaulting and threatening Stephanie too and was held on remand. 'My case still hadn't been heard when in January the following year he pled guilty to assaults against Jennifer and Stephanie,' Jessica says. 'Attending court by video, he sat clutching a bible and wearing a crucifix.' Evans' defence said he had turned to God, had undiagnosed foetal alcohol syndrome and had suffered an abusive childhood. The court heard that Jennifer and Stephanie had been choked, punched and threatened, with Evans admitting to the abuse. The prosecution and defence came to an agreement on the sentence, it was the time he'd already served awaiting trial and came to 253 days. 'No man has the right subject his partner to violence,' said Judge Mike Madden, releasing Evans with 18-months' probation. Conditions were that he get counselling for alcohol and drug abuse, anger management and domestic violence. 'Because he'd admitted assaulting Jennifer and Stephanie, I assumed he'd get a tough jail term when it came to trial for assaulting me,' Jessica says. 'After all, he was now obviously a serial abuser with a horrific record of violence against women. I was so naive.' Evans' trial for the offences against Jessica was delayed, to give him a chance to prove he was trying to rehabilitate. After denying the offences against Jessica, in September 2022 Evans received a plea deal. He admitted five violent assaults against Jessica but the choking charges were dropped. The prosecutor warned that because Evans had been charged with the offenses against her before Stephanie and Jennifer's he would be treated as a first time offender. 'It was insane,' Jessica says. 'I thought that surely the judge will take into account his past.' Two months later Kevin was sentenced, appearing via Zoom. 'Nothing compares to being afraid of dying at the hands of the person you love,' Jessica told the court in her Victim Impact Statement. 'In an agreed statement of facts Kevin admitted he'd choked me,' Jessica says. 'Then, I watched in astonishment as Justice Erika Chozik, made extraordinary allowances for this monster.' 'He had a very tragic upbringing, a young boy exposed to family violence. Trauma begets trauma unless the cycle is stopped,' Justice Erika Chozik said, adding that Kevin had made genuine steps towards rehabilitation. The judge noted he'd shown a 'pattern of abuse' by assaulting Jennifer and Stephanie after Jessica. But she said she couldn't take that into consideration because Jessica's charges had been first. 'To the court, it was as if what he'd done to Jennifer and Stephanie had never happened and I was the only victim,' Jessica says. Evans received a one-year conditional sentence, meaning he was free to go but couldn't contact Jessica and had to attend counselling or he'd be jailed. He also got two years of probation. 'It was exactly the kind of lenient sentence a first-time offender would expect, and I was devastated,' Jessica says. 'Kevin deserved a long sentence in prison for what he'd done to me and two other women. The police did a great job in charging Kevin, but the courts let us down. 'Choking should be seen for what it is, attempted murder. Sentences must be tougher for domestic violence. Kevin was lucky none of us died. 'And he was lucky that the courts did deals, bent over backwards to give him chances and then gave him a slap on the wrist for what he did. 'I'm glad I found the courage to report Kevin, but after my experience I have to say, is it any wonder women don't bother to report violence against them?' 6
The Verge
2 days ago
- The Verge
Women's ‘red flag' app Tea is a privacy nightmare
An app designed to help women spot the 'red flags' of men they date has incidentally put its users at risk. 404 Media reported that Tea was hacked by 4chan users last week, resulting in the selfies and driver's licenses of its mostly women users being posted to 4chan. An independent researcher for 404 Media has since discovered that messages between users discussing infidelity, abortion, and personal phone numbers are also vulnerable to hackers. Tea was founded by software developer Sean Cook, who said he was inspired to create an anonymous whisper network after witnessing his own mother's 'terrifying' dating experiences with men. It was also heavily influenced by the rise of 'Are We Dating The Same Guy' Facebook groups and operates in a similar paradigm of sounding anecdotal alarms about men people have dated. The app surged in popularity to the top spot on Apple's App Store last week. Tea claims to have more than 4 million active users. On July 25th, 72,000 images — including 13,000 selfies and driver's licenses, as well as another 59,000 images, that were published on the app — were breached, with many downloaded and posted publicly on 4chan. 4chan users initially posted images of four women's driver's licenses, redacting some personal information, but the firestorm of comments in the thread suggested that thousands of images were downloaded before the company was aware of the breach. Tea told 404 Media that it had launched 'a full investigation with assistance from external cybersecurity firms,' and that it was working with law enforcement 'to assist' in their investigation. Tea was storing its users' sensitive information on Firebase, a Google-owned backend cloud storage and computing service. Since 2023, Tea no longer requires users to send in photos of their IDs for verification purposes. While the company initially insisted that the hack only affected its 'legacy' database and users who signed up before February 2024, according to the independent researcher and data trove reviewed by 404 Media, Tea remains unsafe, way beyond the scope of the original hack, and private messages sent as late as last week are accessible and vulnerable to further exposure. Since Tea's surge in use among women, it's drawn more incensed criticism and ire among so-called 'men's rights' groups online. Men who discovered they appeared on the app have called it a 'toxic' network. Some are going viral on TikTok and X, claiming that the assertions made about them are defamatory and wholly untrue. 'The issue is that people (women especially) won't see this as an issue until the male version of the app is created. I deserve to know my date's STD history, body count, etc.,' reads a top-rated comment on a thread in the subreddit r/MensRights. A retaliatory app featuring women was created shortly thereafter, called Teaborn, but it was promptly taken down after reports of users posting revenge porn. Several cybersecurity and data privacy experts have called Tea's storage methods, which led to the initial hack, downright negligent. 'This data was originally stored in compliance with law enforcement requirements related to cyber-bullying prevention,' the company initially claimed in the statement provided to 404 Media. Peter Dordal, a professor of online networks and security at Loyola University in Chicago, told The Verge that he believes the company's statement — that it was in compliance with the law — is 'misleading,' and that the company could have done more to prevent this cybersecurity nightmare. '[The statement] is misleading on two counts: first of all, law enforcement doesn't set requirements; that's the job of Congress and state legislatures. Tea didn't cite the actual legal requirement,' Dordal said. 'Second, if there was a legitimate legal need to retain these images, they shouldn't have been accessible online at all; they are clearly not needed for ordinary site activity.' Dordal added that while it's commonplace for user data to be stored in the cloud, Tea should have taken measures to ensure that it could not be accessed by the public. Tea's terms and conditions also claim it deletes user data after verification, which it has apparently failed to do. 'Tea definitely had negligent security practices if the current reporting is true,' said Grant Ho, an assistant professor at the University of Chicago who researches computer security. 'A company should never host users' private data on a publicly accessible server, and, at a minimum, the data should've been stored encrypted.' Andrew Guthrie Ferguson, a law professor at George Washington University and expert in Big Data surveillance, points out that a whisper network on the internet is no longer safeguarded like a real whisper network could be when it operates offline. Your data is no longer in your control. 'What changes when it's digital and recoverable and save-able and searchable is you lose control over it,' Ferguson said. 'You can't keep it within the confines of people you trust.' Posts from this author will be added to your daily email digest and your homepage feed. See All by Tanya Tianyi Chen Posts from this topic will be added to your daily email digest and your homepage feed. See All Analysis Posts from this topic will be added to your daily email digest and your homepage feed. See All Security Posts from this topic will be added to your daily email digest and your homepage feed. See All Social Media Posts from this topic will be added to your daily email digest and your homepage feed. See All Tech
The Verge
2 days ago
- The Verge
Women's ‘red flag' app Tea is privacy nightmare
An app designed to help women spot the 'red flags' of men they date has incidentally put its users at risk. 404 Media reported that Tea was hacked by 4chan users last week, resulting in the selfies and driver's licenses of its mostly women users being posted to 4chan. An independent researcher for 404 Media has since discovered that messages between users discussing infidelity, abortion, and personal phone numbers are also vulnerable to hackers. Tea was founded by software developer Sean Cook, who said he was inspired to create an anonymous whisper network after witnessing his own mother's 'terrifying' dating experiences with men. It was also heavily influenced by the rise of 'Are We Dating The Same Guy' Facebook groups and operates in a similar paradigm of sounding anecdotal alarms about men people have dated. The app surged in popularity to the top spot on Apple's App Store last week. Tea claims to have more than 4 million active users. On July 25th, 72,000 images — including 13,000 selfies and driver's licenses, as well as another 59,000 images, that were published on the app — were breached, with many downloaded and posted publicly on 4chan. 4chan users initially posted images of four women's driver's licenses, redacting some personal information, but the firestorm of comments in the thread suggested that thousands of images were downloaded before the company was aware of the breach. Tea told 404 Media that it had launched 'a full investigation with assistance from external cybersecurity firms,' and that it was working with law enforcement 'to assist' in their investigation. Tea was storing its users' sensitive information on Firebase, a Google-owned backend cloud storage and computing service. Since 2023, Tea no longer requires users to send in photos of their IDs for verification purposes. While the company initially insisted that the hack only affected its 'legacy' database and users who signed up before February 2024, according to the independent researcher and data trove reviewed by 404 Media, Tea remains unsafe, way beyond the scope of the original hack, and private messages sent as late as last week are accessible and vulnerable to further exposure. Since Tea's surge in use among women, it's drawn more incensed criticism and ire among so-called 'men's rights' groups online. Men who discovered they appeared on the app have called it a 'toxic' network. Some are going viral on TikTok and X, claiming that the assertions made about them are defamatory and wholly untrue. 'The issue is that people (women especially) won't see this as an issue until the male version of the app is created. I deserve to know my date's STD history, body count, etc.,' reads a top-rated comment on a thread in the subreddit r/MensRights. A retaliatory app featuring women was created shortly thereafter, called Teaborn, but it was promptly taken down after reports of users posting revenge porn. Several cybersecurity and data privacy experts have called Tea's storage methods, which led to the initial hack, downright negligent. 'This data was originally stored in compliance with law enforcement requirements related to cyber-bullying prevention,' the company initially claimed in the statement provided to 404 Media. Peter Dordal, a professor of online networks and security at Loyola University in Chicago, told The Verge that he believes the company's statement — that it was in compliance with the law — is 'misleading,' and that the company could have done more to prevent this cybersecurity nightmare. '[The statement] is misleading on two counts: first of all, law enforcement doesn't set requirements; that's the job of Congress and state legislatures. Tea didn't cite the actual legal requirement,' Dordal said. 'Second, if there was a legitimate legal need to retain these images, they shouldn't have been accessible online at all; they are clearly not needed for ordinary site activity.' Dordal added that while it's commonplace for user data to be stored in the cloud, Tea should have taken measures to ensure that it could not be accessed by the public. Tea's terms and conditions also claim it deletes user data after verification, which it has apparently failed to do. 'Tea definitely had negligent security practices if the current reporting is true,' said Grant Ho, an assistant professor at the University of Chicago who researches computer security. 'A company should never host users' private data on a publicly accessible server, and, at a minimum, the data should've been stored encrypted.' Andrew Guthrie Ferguson, a law professor at George Washington University and expert in Big Data surveillance, points out that a whisper network on the internet is no longer safeguarded like a real whisper network could be when it operates offline. Your data is no longer in your control. 'What changes when it's digital and recoverable and save-able and searchable is you lose control over it,' Ferguson said. 'You can't keep it within the confines of people you trust.' Posts from this author will be added to your daily email digest and your homepage feed. See All by Tanya Tianyi Chen Posts from this topic will be added to your daily email digest and your homepage feed. See All Analysis Posts from this topic will be added to your daily email digest and your homepage feed. See All Security Posts from this topic will be added to your daily email digest and your homepage feed. See All Social Media Posts from this topic will be added to your daily email digest and your homepage feed. See All Tech
The Independent
2 days ago
- The Independent
What was leaked in the dating app data breach
Controversial dating app Tea, which allows women to anonymously share information about men, has confirmed a significant data breach. Thousands of images, including selfies and photo identification, were leaked online after the app, which recently topped the U.S. Apple App Store, was hacked. San Francisco-based Tea Dating Advice Inc. has engaged third-party cybersecurity experts to secure its systems following the incident. The app was founded to help women vet men for safety, but has been criticised as a 'man-shaming site' promoting 'vigilante justice'. Approximately 72,000 images were leaked, affecting users who signed up before February 2024, though the company states no email addresses or phone numbers were exposed and all data is now secure. Thousands of images leaked online after controversial dating app hacked
The Sun
2 days ago
- The Sun
Thousands of women's photos STOLEN from dating app used by 1.6 million as hackers break into messages
A POPULAR dating app used by 1.6 million women has been hacked, as tens of thousands have their data leaked. The app was designed to keep women safe by allowing them to do background checks on their dates - but the data breach has now left female users at risk. Who is affected by the data breach? After hackers gained "unauthorised access" to Tea Dating Advice, they leaked the private information of its women user base. Boasting 1.6 million subscribers, an estimated 72,000 images submitted by women have been leaked. This includes photos the women submitted as part of a photo identification process to set up their account for the women-only app. The platform's privacy policy claims that these photos are "deleted immediately" after the account has been authenticated. However, personal information about some of its users was posted to the right-wing forum site, 4chan on July 25. Members of the forum claimed to have discovered an exposed database of users that had subscribed to the app. They proceeded to share screenshots of the women's personal data and pictures across social media. The breach affects members who signed up before February 2024. On Friday, the company confirmed that an additional 59,000 images from the app showing posts, comments and direct messages from over two years ago were accessed. The company said it was "working with some of the most trusted cyber security experts" as they try to "protect this community - now and always". Inside romance scam target lonely singles on dating apps but what they don't know is if we die What is Tea Dating Advice? Tea Dating Advice provided a similar service to popular Facebook groups like Are We Dating the Same Guy? On the platform, women post pictures and information about men that they are dating, trying to warn others about their own negative experiences. This could range from raising awareness of a partner who was abusive, to someone who ghosted after a first date. Individuals will share their own anecdotal experiences, including anonymous dating reviews, to potentially pre-warn other users about bad behaviour. To access the app, users must first upload selfies to verify that they are a woman. Once on the site, they can then share, or search for photos of men - usually through screenshots of social media and other dating apps. According to the app's website, this serves a number of functions: Find verified green flag men Run background checks Identify potential catfish Verify he's not a sex offender Check for a criminal history Check for hidden marriages Users can search for men using reverse image search, or by looking up their phone numbers. It allows them to "share experiences and seek advice within a secure, anonymous platform". The app also donates 10% of its profits to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, with its main purpose being to protect wome n. Founder Sean Cook created Tea in November 2022 after seeing his mum navigate online dating. Not only was she catfished, but he was horrified to learn that she had been unknowingly engaging with men who had criminal records, making him realise that "traditional dating apps do little to protect women". Thus, he was inspired to create a platform that made dating feel "safe, informed and empowering". Users cannot take screenshots while using the app, helping to maintain privacy of its users. Why has it faced criticism? The app received backlash by some claiming it is anti-men and an invasion of privacy. They fear that it puts men at risk of invasion of privacy and defamation, with women taking out their anger after a bad date, rather than exposing legitimate concerns. These concerns were reflected in a lawsuit against Meta for posts made in the Are We Dating the Same Guy Facebook group. Nikko D'Ambrosia took legal action against Meta because of a number of claims made about him on Facebook. The lawsuit was later thrown out by a federal judge in Illinois. Defamation laws in the US make it difficult for men to make a successful claim if they are posted on the app. The Sun has reached out to Tea for comment.
