Latest news with #discretion
Yahoo
a day ago
- Health
- Yahoo
14 Opinions You Should Absolutely Keep To Yourself
When it comes to sharing your thoughts, some opinions are better left unsaid. While everyone is entitled to their personal beliefs, voicing every opinion can sometimes lead to unnecessary tension or discomfort. Here are 14 opinions you might want to keep to yourself, delivered with a dash of wit and a healthy dose of self-awareness. After all, discretion can often be the better part of valor. 1. Your Thoughts On Someone's Weight Commenting on someone's weight, whether they've gained or lost, can be a sensitive subject. Even if you think you're being supportive or helpful, this can come off as judgmental or intrusive. According to Harvard Health Publishing, discussing weight can reinforce negative body image and contribute to mental health issues. It's better to focus on compliments that highlight a person's capabilities or achievements instead. Let people share their weight-related goals or concerns on their own terms. What you see as concern might be interpreted as criticism, which could harm more than help. Remember, people are aware of their bodies, and unsolicited opinions can trigger anxiety or self-esteem issues. This also applies to comments on someone's dieting choices or lifestyle changes. If someone wants your advice or opinion, they'll ask. Until then, it's wise to keep your thoughts to yourself and maintain a supportive silence. 2. Your Political Views At Work Politics can be a hot-button topic, especially in a workplace setting where diverse opinions abound. While it's important to be informed and engaged, sharing your political views at work can create division and discomfort among colleagues. Discussions can quickly turn heated, leading to an uncomfortable environment for everyone involved. In professional settings, focusing on common goals and tasks usually leads to a more harmonious atmosphere. Moreover, your political opinions might inadvertently affect your professional relationships or opportunities for collaboration. People might pigeonhole you based on your beliefs rather than your professional abilities. While it's perfectly fine to have passionate political beliefs, work might not be the best place to express them. Instead, engage in these conversations in more private or appropriate settings. Keep work about work, and leave politics outside the office door. 3. Your Opinions On Friend's Parenting Style Parenting is a deeply personal endeavor, and every parent has their own set of challenges and triumphs. Offering opinions on how people should raise their children can easily be perceived as judgmental or condescending. According to Dr. Jessica Zucker, a psychologist specializing in parenting, unsolicited advice can undermine a parent's confidence and create unnecessary guilt. Instead of critiquing, offer support and encouragement for the difficult job of parenting. Sharing your thoughts on how others should parent can alienate friends and family, even if your intentions are genuine. People have different values, cultural backgrounds, and life experiences that shape their parenting choices. Criticizing these choices can be seen as criticism of their identity. Rather than imposing your views, listen empathetically and provide a safe space for parents to share their journeys. Your understanding can be far more valuable than your advice. 4. Your Negative View Of Someone's Partner It's natural to have thoughts about the people your friends or family members date, but voicing these opinions can be tricky. Criticizing someone's partner can lead to resentment and strain your relationship with the person you're trying to help. Your friend might feel compelled to defend their partner, leading to an argument or awkwardness. Instead, allow them to navigate their relationship dynamics independently. Unless you have genuine concerns about their safety or well-being, consider keeping your critiques to yourself. People value support and understanding more than unsolicited judgments. Relationships are complicated, and your perspective may not encompass the full picture. If your friend is in a genuinely toxic or harmful relationship, there are ways to express concern without alienating them. In most cases, simply being present and available will suffice. 5. Your Opinions On Someone's Financial Choices Money is often a delicate topic and one that many people feel uncomfortable discussing. Offering opinions on how someone chooses to spend or save can come off as invasive or judgmental. According to a study by the National Endowment for Financial Education, financial stress is a leading cause of anxiety, and unsolicited advice can exacerbate these feelings. Instead of offering critiques, you could share your own experiences and provide financial literacy resources if asked. Even with good intentions, commenting on someone's financial situation can strain relationships. It's important to recognize that everyone's financial priorities and constraints differ. People have their reasons for making the choices they do, and these reasons may not always be obvious. Unless asked for specific advice, it's best to steer clear of this topic. Your respect for their autonomy is more valuable than your opinion on their budget. 6. Your Judgments About Someone's Diet Choices Whether someone chooses veganism, keto, or anything in between, it's their personal choice. Voicing opinions on someone's diet can feel like an intrusion into their personal life and decision-making. People choose their diets for a myriad of reasons, including health, ethics, and personal taste. Critiquing these choices can make someone feel defensive and misunderstood. Respecting dietary choices is a simple way to show respect for someone's autonomy. Your commentary is unlikely to change their habits but can impact your relationship. Supporting their choices, instead of questioning them, fosters a more positive environment. If you're curious about their dietary habits, frame your questions in a way that shows genuine interest rather than judgment. This approach encourages open dialogue rather than defensive reactions. 7. Your Thoughts On People's Career Decisions Career paths are as varied as the people who pursue them, and everyone has different aspirations and circumstances. Offering unsolicited opinions on someone's career can undermine their confidence and make them second-guess their decisions. Research by Dr. Timothy Judge, a professor of management and psychology, shows that job satisfaction is linked to personal values and goals, not external opinions. Instead of critiquing, offer encouragement and support for their chosen path. Your advice may be well-meaning, but it might not align with someone's long-term goals or personal fulfillment. People have different values when it comes to work-life balance, financial goals, and job satisfaction. A job that seems unappealing to you might be the perfect fit for them. Offering unsolicited career advice can inadvertently imply that you know better than they do. Instead, be supportive and respect their autonomy in making career decisions. 8. Your Critique Of Someone's Style Fashion and style are highly personal, often serving as an expression of identity and creativity. Critiquing someone's personal style can come off as judgmental and erode their self-confidence. What might not appeal to your tastes could be a crucial part of someone else's self-expression. People dress for themselves, and unsolicited opinions can make them feel self-conscious or less authentic. It's essential to appreciate the diversity in personal style and recognize that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to fashion. Rather than offering critiques, celebrate the unique ways people choose to present themselves. Complimenting someone's style, rather than critiquing it, creates a positive and supportive atmosphere. When in doubt, remember that style is subjective and personal, and everyone has the right to express themselves as they see fit. Your acceptance can be more empowering than any piece of advice. 9. Your Beliefs Around Religion Religion is a deeply personal aspect of many people's lives, and unsolicited opinions can feel invasive or dismissive. Voicing your thoughts on someone's religious beliefs can easily lead to misunderstandings or even offense. People find comfort, meaning, and community in their faith, and critiquing it can be akin to questioning their identity. Instead of offering opinions, approach religious topics with curiosity and respect. Everyone has the right to their own beliefs and should be free to practice them without judgment. If a discussion about religion arises, listening with an open mind is far more valuable than interjecting your thoughts. Conversations about faith should nurture understanding and tolerance. Being respectful of differing beliefs fosters a more inclusive environment. Remember, it's not about agreeing but about accepting each other's differences. 10. Your Thoughts On Someone's Home Decor A person's home is their sanctuary, and how they choose to decorate it is deeply personal. Offering opinions on someone's decor can be perceived as criticism of their taste and style. People's homes reflect their personalities, preferences, and often their cherished memories. Unsolicited comments can make someone feel self-conscious about how they express themselves in their space. When visiting someone's home, it's best to appreciate their choices and the effort they've put into making their space their own. If you don't have anything nice to say, defaulting to positive or neutral observations is a safe bet. Everyone has different tastes, and there's no right or wrong way to decorate a home. If someone asks for your opinion, frame your feedback constructively and with sensitivity. Otherwise, enjoy the uniqueness of their personal sanctuary. 11. Your Criticisms Of Someone's Hobby Hobbies are pursued for enjoyment, relaxation, or personal fulfillment, and they often reflect a person's interests and passions. Criticizing someone's hobby can come off as dismissive of their interests and identity. It's important to remember that hobbies are personal and subjective. What you may find trivial could bring immense joy and satisfaction to someone else's life. Participating in or supporting someone's hobby can strengthen relationships and create shared experiences. Instead of critiquing, express interest and ask questions to understand their passion better. This approach encourages people to share what they love without fear of judgment. A respectful curiosity fosters mutual respect and appreciation. People should be free to engage in activities that bring them joy, without the shadow of unsolicited opinions. 12. Your Opinions On Mental Health Mental health is a delicate topic, and offering opinions on someone's mental health journey can be harmful and invasive. It's crucial to approach discussions about mental health with empathy and respect for the individual's experience. People may already be struggling with stigma, and unsolicited opinions can exacerbate feelings of isolation or inadequacy. Instead of offering opinions, listen and offer support without judgment. Mental health is complex and deeply personal, often requiring professional guidance rather than lay opinions. Offering unqualified advice can undermine the seriousness of the challenges someone may be facing. If someone confides in you about their mental health, prioritize empathy and understanding over advice. Encourage them to seek professional help if needed and reassure them of your support. Respectful listening can be more impactful than any opinion you might share. 13. Your Critiques Of Someone's Social Media Social media is a modern extension of social interaction, and everyone uses it differently. Criticizing someone's social media habits can come off as judgmental and intrusive. People have varied reasons for their online behavior, from personal expression to professional networking. Your opinions on their posts, frequency, or content might not be welcome or necessary. Instead of critiquing, appreciate the diversity in how people choose to engage online. Social media is a personal platform, and unsolicited opinions can make someone feel misunderstood or judged. If you're genuinely concerned about their online presence, frame your observations as care rather than critique. Encourage healthy discussions about online behavior rather than passing judgment. Respect their digital space just as you would their physical space. 14. Your Judgment Of Someone's Relationship Status Whether someone is single, dating, or committed, their relationship status is a personal matter. Commenting on why they're single or when they'll get engaged can add unnecessary pressure and make them feel inadequate. Relationships are complex, and everyone's journey is unique. Unsolicited opinions can lead to discomfort or strain in your relationship with them. It's important to respect people's choices and acknowledge that everyone moves at their own pace. Instead of offering opinions, focus on supporting and celebrating their journey, whatever it may be. If someone wants to share their thoughts or concerns about their relationship status, they will do so on their own terms. Your understanding and support are far more valuable than your unsolicited judgment. Promote a supportive and respectful dialogue around relationships, free of presumptions and pressure. Solve the daily Crossword
RNZ News
19-06-2025
- Politics
- RNZ News
Police Commissioner supports decision to exempt two police recruits who failed physical test
Police Commissioner Richard Chambers. Photo: RNZ / Samuel Rillstone The Police Commissioner says he fully supports the Assistant Commissioner's decision to sign off on exemptions from recruitment standards for two recruits. It comes after revelations Assistant Commissioner Jill Rogers personally signed off at least two exemptions from recruitment standards. On Wednesday, a police spokesperson confirmed in a statement that Rogers gave at least two approvals in the past year, and records were being checked to see if there were more. "As is already accepted, there had been a practice of discretion applied to some applicants to Police College in relation to the Physical Appraisal Test (PAT)," the statement said. "Assistant Commissioner Jill Rogers can recall two occasions in the last year where she gave approval to be applied to two applicants. There was no directive, instruction, or request issued in relation to this. We are searching available documentation to confirm this number. "As with other recruits, those two candidates went on to pass all the tests required to graduate as constables." Assistant Commissioner Jill Rogers. Photo: The statement said Police Commissioner Richard Chambers had made it clear no more discretion was to be applied. This was following the result of an audit showing the use of discretion had become "too widespread for my liking", and it had developed "over a period of years that pre-dated my time as Commissioner". Chambers and Rogers spoke to media at Parliament on Thursday. Chambers said there had been occasions over the years where discretion had been given. "That's the fair and reasonable thing to do for staff who have their own personal circumstances as to why they might need a little extra support, but I've been clear going forward, there'll be no discretion." Rogers did not want to give any of the personal circumstances about the two recruits, but said she "deemed the circumstances of their recruitment process required an exemption and allowed that". "There are extenuating circumstances in a number of these cases, and so I don't want to talk about the personal circumstances. What I will say is the recruit pipeline to enter our initial training phase is a 12-step process. Once they get through that, they enter into the Police College, where they're required to pass all aspects of the training before they graduate as constables, so there's still a robust process for them to go for before they graduate." Chambers said he had spoken with Rogers about the circumstances of the two recruits and "100 percent support her decision". "Because when you take into account human beings choosing a career in the police that you know they aspire to be part of our organisation, there may be reasons. Sometimes we have to give some flexibility to their personal circumstances. Now that I understand those, which has been since Monday, I totally support the decision." Chambers said he was focused on "moving forward". "That's where I need to put my time and effort, and that's where I've asked my staff to put their time and effort to so that we can be very confident, which I am, that the quality of police officer for our country remains very, very high." Trust and confidence in police was "critical," Chambers said. "I've made a number of statements publicly about a number of things, actually, that sets an expectation and a standard that I know that it's not just me as a commissioner that can be proud of, it's my full executive and it's 15,000 colleagues across the country. "We're not always going to get it right, and I've said that before. You know, we're human beings at the end of the day, and but when, when things don't quite go to plan, you know, we've got to own it, learn from it, and move on, but the focus is moving forward and continuing to be the best that we can be." The government committed in its coalition agreements to recruiting 500 more police officers by November - but seems unlikely to meet that deadline. Labour's Police spokesperson Ginny Andersen said the revelations Rogers was involved raised serious questions about whether political pressure had been applied to the Police College to deliver on that promise. "It's pretty clear that people at the Police College themselves don't make these types of decisions, there's a hierarchy in police. "There's been a clear pattern here of recruits not meeting standards and when the government has promised 500 more police it's pretty clear that pressure has been applied to the college and that's not right. "They've delivered around 30 of 500, and they have until November. It's pretty clear they've failed," Andersen said. In a statement, Mitchell's office said a draft report showed "that for the delivery of the 1800 new police target, a discretionary pass was introduced where the literacy assessment standards were not met, which has since become common practice". "This does raise questions about political pressure." Labour, in 2017, committed to recruit an extra 1800 police officers, marking that milestone in June 2023. RNZ has requested a copy of the draft report the minister's statement refers to. "We have made very clear on discovering this practice that it does not meet our expectations and Police have responded quickly with the Commissioner directing that the practice be ended," his office said. "Labour should be upfront with New Zealanders about the mess they created in order to deliver their well overdue and incomplete 1800 new police target, instead of trying to blame this government that had to come in and clean it up." RNZ sought further comment from Andersen responding to Mitchell's statements. She said the review made it clear "recruits failed physical tests and got through anyway". "This happened in the past year, under their watch. Mark Mitchell needs to take accountability for his failure to deliver 500 more police." The audit covers 1022 recruits between January 2024 and April 2025. Preliminary findings showed a significant number of applicants were allowed into the college, despite failing preliminary tests.
