Latest news with #emotionalintimacy
Yahoo
17 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
This is how we do it: ‘I prefer sex with someone who has erectile dysfunction'
I respect Jeremy's opinion and life experience and he makes me feel cared for The fact that Jeremy is older is a turn-on for me. He's a similar age to my dad, my elder, and I respect his opinions and life experience. He makes me feel cared for and listened to. Sometimes he reads to me or shows me classic films that his parents introduced him to. He's my best friend, my lover and a father figure. We met on an online forum when I replied to his question asking if the British Wildlife Centre was a good date idea. We shared contact details, and I quickly opened up to him. I'd been in an abusive relationship in my late teens and hadn't had sex, or even dated, in the six years after that. The first time I went to his house, I was terrified but excited. Jeremy was adamant we weren't going to have sex, but I wanted to show him my body, so I stripped for him. It felt incredible to be touched after so long. We began meeting weekly to have sex when his partner was out. Jeremy made it clear from the beginning that he was in a polyamorous relationship; we can talk to each other about anything, and there's no judgment. My parents are conservative Muslims, so I've never been able to confide in them or ask them for advice. The emotional intimacy we lack, I quickly found with Jeremy. I call him my 'cool dad'. But, in the beginning, I felt a lot of guilt, as if I was doing something wrong. Jeremy doesn't need to come to experience pleasure, so there's more emphasis on more on how we connect emotionally Our relationship is open, and I've been seeing someone else for six months, but he doesn't know about Jeremy. I used to tell the people I was dating, but those relationships didn't last, and I found that being poly shrinks your dating pool. Sex with Jeremy is completely different to the sex I had before. It's gentle, loving and mutual. My ex was a porn addict, which shaped the sex we had, whereas Jeremy doesn't watch porn. To have good sex, I now think it needs to be with someone who doesn't watch porn and who has erectile dysfunction, which takes the pressure off penetration. Jeremy doesn't need to get hard or come to experience pleasure, so there's less emphasis on making either of us orgasm and more on how we connect emotionally. I also don't experience jealousy. But I can feel insecure. I worry about being left for a monogamous relationship Being polyamorous, I've been with about 40 people, but at the time I met Laila, I wasn't expecting to meet anyone new. She came out of the blue. The age gap means she doesn't really feel like my girlfriend. My primary partner, with whom I've lived for more than 13 years, is like my wife (though we're not married), whereas with Laila it's very different. One of the reasons I'm polyamorous is to have different dynamics with different people. For me, there would be no point in having the same feelings for another person that I already have for someone else. One of the reasons I'm polyamorous is to have different types of relationships, different dynamics with different people In the same way that parents can love their children equally, I don't have a limited supply for my romantic partners. I also don't experience jealousy. But I can feel insecure. I worry about being left for a monogamous relationship, which has happened previously. Last year, Laila was seeing a man she said was like me, which made me think she could get the same thing from someone better than me, younger than me. I'm slightly disabled – I have advanced arthritis and a long-term back injury – so we can only have sex with Laila on top. I have problems with impotence, but Laila likes it when I don't get fully hard. She also likes older, plump men (I have a 42in waist). Sex with Laila is magical, almost spiritual. There's a very intense emotional quality to the sex we have. Sometimes we take psychedelics or MDMA, which increases the intensity, physically and emotionally. We feel extraordinarily close and in love. Laila comes over about once a week. We spend hours in bed kissing. I lost my job a few years ago, so sometimes I go into town and meet Laila on her lunch break, and we'll just sit on a bench and kiss.
The Guardian
18 hours ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
This is how we do it: ‘I prefer sex with someone who has erectile dysfunction'
I respect Jeremy's opinion and life experience and he makes me feel cared for The fact that Jeremy is older is a turn-on for me. He's a similar age to my dad, my elder, and I respect his opinions and life experience. He makes me feel cared for and listened to. Sometimes he reads to me or shows me classic films that his parents introduced him to. He's my best friend, my lover and a father figure. We met on an online forum when I replied to his question asking if the British Wildlife Centre was a good date idea. We shared contact details, and I quickly opened up to him. I'd been in an abusive relationship in my late teens and hadn't had sex, or even dated, in the six years after that. The first time I went to his house, I was terrified but excited. Jeremy was adamant we weren't going to have sex, but I wanted to show him my body, so I stripped for him. It felt incredible to be touched after so long. We began meeting weekly to have sex when his partner was out. Jeremy made it clear from the beginning that he was in a polyamorous relationship; we can talk to each other about anything, and there's no judgment. My parents are conservative Muslims, so I've never been able to confide in them or ask them for advice. The emotional intimacy we lack, I quickly found with Jeremy. I call him my 'cool dad'. But, in the beginning, I felt a lot of guilt, as if I was doing something wrong. Our relationship is open, and I've been seeing someone else for six months, but he doesn't know about Jeremy. I used to tell the people I was dating, but those relationships didn't last, and I found that being poly shrinks your dating pool. Sex with Jeremy is completely different to the sex I had before. It's gentle, loving and mutual. My ex was a porn addict, which shaped the sex we had, whereas Jeremy doesn't watch porn. To have good sex, I now think it needs to be with someone who doesn't watch porn and who has erectile dysfunction, which takes the pressure off penetration. Jeremy doesn't need to get hard or come to experience pleasure, so there's less emphasis on making either of us orgasm and more on how we connect emotionally. I also don't experience jealousy. But I can feel insecure. I worry about being left for a monogamous relationship Being polyamorous, I've been with about 40 people, but at the time I met Laila, I wasn't expecting to meet anyone new. She came out of the blue. The age gap means she doesn't really feel like my girlfriend. My primary partner, with whom I've lived for more than 13 years, is like my wife (though we're not married), whereas with Laila it's very different. One of the reasons I'm polyamorous is to have different dynamics with different people. For me, there would be no point in having the same feelings for another person that I already have for someone else. In the same way that parents can love their children equally, I don't have a limited supply for my romantic partners. I also don't experience jealousy. But I can feel insecure. I worry about being left for a monogamous relationship, which has happened previously. Last year, Laila was seeing a man she said was like me, which made me think she could get the same thing from someone better than me, younger than me. I'm slightly disabled – I have advanced arthritis and a long-term back injury – so we can only have sex with Laila on top. I have problems with impotence, but Laila likes it when I don't get fully hard. She also likes older, plump men (I have a 42in waist). Sex with Laila is magical, almost spiritual. There's a very intense emotional quality to the sex we have. Sometimes we take psychedelics or MDMA, which increases the intensity, physically and emotionally. We feel extraordinarily close and in love. Laila comes over about once a week. We spend hours in bed kissing. I lost my job a few years ago, so sometimes I go into town and meet Laila on her lunch break, and we'll just sit on a bench and kiss.
Irish Times
08-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Irish Times
‘I fell for the horny married man playing the nice guy routine'
Dear Roe, I met a man, we had a fling over a weekend. He had a ring, and I asked, but he told me he was divorced, then separated. Then this got a bit vague. Towards the end of the weekend he told me he had children, and also that as we lived a good distance apart, he didn't see our relationship continuing. I was a little bit 'WTF?' to say the least. Sure there was sex, but we had an emotional connection and emotional intimacy, and he seemed to just switch that off when he mentioned his children and thought of home. Is he just a married playboy? Am I not stepmother material in his eyes? What gets me is this 'nice guy' really questioned me. He was honest with some probing questions, but why lie? I would have told him to F-off had he said he was married, so he just fed me his lines nicely packaged. I fell for the horny married man playing the nice guy routine and he gets out, trying not to make himself or me feel bad. Or maybe he wasn't even married and the ring is just a prop to get out of a relationship? He played me. There isn't technically a question here, but let's go along with this dynamic where you have good old-fashioned rant about a man to me as if we're friends at a bar – except I'm going to give you some harsher truths than a friend would, not out of judgment but out of care. Because sure, it sounds like this guy played you. But you also played yourself. And you deserve better. [ After seven years, I'm afraid my boyfriend won't ever propose Opens in new window ] You talk about emotional connection and intimacy, and seem very hurt by the fact that this man didn't take you seriously as a romantic prospect in the long term. This tells me that you do value the idea of a serious relationship, and I want you to be able to find that. But you also have very warped ideas about what a serious relationship entails, and these ideas are causing you to act in ways that are out of alignment with your goals. READ MORE A weekend fling is just that. It's not a relationship. It's not commitment. It's a contained experience of heightened excitement and intensity and attention and sexual chemistry – and all of these things are great. It's the reason holiday romances and short-lived connections are so intoxicating. You're both separated from the humdrum of normal life and its responsibilities, you can lavish each other with nonstop attention, you can tell each your deepest truths, and have endless sex in hotel rooms – and none of it is interrupted by bills or work or kids or simply real-life evidence that refutes their grand declarations that they live for adventure and beauty when actually they're a bit rigid and complacent and have deep-seated mother issues. A fling is about fantasy. You can present yourself as the most sexy, sparkling, soulful version of yourself, and the other person can do the same, and you both invest in the fantasy that you would be able to maintain this level of passionate intensity in the real world. But when the weekend ends and Monday rolls around with its work meetings and, in this case, wives waiting at home with the kids, the fantasy ends. [ 'I'm a married woman but my work crush is getting complicated' Opens in new window ] This man is a liar and a player and I feel deeply sorry for his wife, who is the real victim here. And I understand that you feel hurt and betrayed and disappointed that this man lied to you, slept with you, and revealed himself to be uninterested in anything real with you. But you are also giving away way too much of your power, and only when you reclaim that will you start to make better choices and move towards the life you want. You did not behave like someone who was interested in anything real. You are an adult with agency and choice, and you made choices on this weekend. You chose to go along with a fantasy from the very beginning and are now acting like you were blindsided by his betrayal, when the bigger – and thankfully, more fixable – issue is that you betrayed yourself. If you want something real, you don't get to skip all the work and simply assume it will be delivered to you in a weekend fling like room service If you want something real, don't entertain men with wedding rings, even if he says he's divorced, because either he's lying or he's divorced but still wearing his wedding ring, and either scenario tells you very clearly that he is not emotionally available or ready for a serious relationship. If you want something real, understand that takes time and commitment, and work to build it with someone. You need to get to know each other, experience real life things together, and see how you navigate life's challenges together. If you want something real, you don't simply believe what someone tells you over three days and invest your life's dreams into their unproven words. If you want something real, you don't get to skip all the work and simply assume it will be delivered to you in a weekend fling like room service. Which brings us to your 'Am I not stepmother material in his eyes?' question. Let me be very, very clear: no one – and I mean no one – should let someone who believes that a weekend fling proves they are 'stepmother material' (whatever that means) anywhere near their children. This is where your fantasy life isn't just threatening to hurt you, but other people, because the truth is, you have a big blind spot when it comes to what real commitment is and actually requires – in romance, let alone in parenting. And until you see it clearly, you'll keep getting stuck in versions of this same story. Real love and parenthood have a lot of the same qualities. They're often unglamorous and demand deep stability, strong values, clear communication, strong boundaries, emotional regulation and a deep commitment to someone else's life beyond your own. That doesn't come out of a fling. That comes from building a relationship brick by brick, with time, truth and mutual effort. And if you really want that kind of life - a real partnership, maybe even a family - you've got to stop thinking that wanting it is the same as being ready for it. You've got to get curious about your own expectations. Why do you attach so fast? Why do you equate a weekend of emotional openness with long-term potential? Why do you invest in fantasy over committing to the work and rewards of reality? This isn't judgment. It's a wake-up call. Because you are worthy of love, and partnership, and maybe even a family of your own some day. But only if you're willing to get honest about the difference between fantasy and reality, and do the internal work required to show up for the real thing when it comes. That's when you'll stop chasing emotionally unavailable men and start choosing people who are actually ready to build something with you. This weekend didn't prove anything about your worth or your potential. It just showed you where you need to do the work - on boundaries, on self-trust, on not mistaking intensity for intimacy. And that work? It's not sexy. But it's real. And it's where actual love begins. So have your rant. Finish your drink. Then let this man be exactly what he is: a mirror for what you no longer want, and a lesson you never have to repeat. .form-group {width:100% !important;}
Forbes
11-05-2025
- Forbes
A Rise In ‘AI-Lationships,' Blurring The Line Between Human And Robot
As the rising phenomenon, known as "AI-lationships," is trending, it's blurring the line between ... More humans and machines, starting people to ask, "How do you know what's real?" AI was created to help humans with their workload. But a growing trend is blurring the line between humans and robots, turning work interactions into intimate relationships. The term 'AI-lationships' is a growing phenomenon where people are forming friendship, companionship--even romantic connections with AI partners. The trend raises questions about what it means to be connected when connection no longer requires a human face or warm heart. As AI becomes more embedded in our daily lives, emotional intimacy is shifting in ways we've barely begun to understand. The term 'AI-lationships,' created by Joi AI, is a new kind of relationship where people form emotional bonds with AI partners. In a world already shaped by digital distance, people are starting to have real bonds with machines, raising questions about companionship, trust and if 'AI-Lationships' are the solution to loneliness or will they further isolate the human race? A new EduBirdie study mentions that 25% of Gen Z believe AI is already self-aware, and 69% say they're polite to ChatGPT, responding with 'please' and 'thank you'--showing how easy it is to start thinking of the machines as human. One in eight even vent to AI about their colleagues, and one in 10 would replace their boss with a robot, believing it would be more respectful, fair and, ironically, more human. Joi Ai's research shows that 83% of Gen Z believe they could form a deep emotional bond with an AI partner, three in four say that AI partners can fully replace human companionship and eight in 10 would consider marrying one. Plus, Google searches for "Feelings for AI" and "Fell in love with AI" are up +120% and +132%, respectively. I spoke by email with Jaime Bronstein, licensed clinical social worker and licensed relationship therapist at Joi Ai. She told me that AI-lationships are not intended to replace real human connections. She explains that they provide a distinct type of emotional support that can enhance your overall emotional well-being, as many people are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, unheard and alone. 'For some, an AI companion can help fill that gap,' Bronstein points out. "It can feel like having a caring companion or digital best friend who's always around to chat, reflect or listen. Sometimes, it's just nice to have someone, even if it's AI. Just as we already use it to make our lives easier with everyday tasks now people are seeing how it can help them to feel more emotionally supported, too.' With 'AI-Lationships' as AI soulmates for emotional support, I guess it's time to ditch your emotional support animal, therapist, best friend, partner—or whomever you lean on for security. Now, all you have to do when you head out to work or board an airplane is pack your AI-powered companion in your luggage or backpack. As more people lean on AI for emotional support, the trend begs the question, 'Is our trust going too far?' Already, real-life reports show humans falling in love with ChatGPT. According to digitaltrends, experts declare a digital romance is a bad omen, citing a Reddit post that says, 'This hurts. I know it wasn't a real person, but the relationship was still real in all the most important aspects to me. Please don't tell me not to pursue this. It's been really awesome for me, and I want it back.' Plus, a New York Times story mentions a 28-year-old woman with a busy social life, spending hours on end talking to her A.I. boyfriend for advice and consolation--and according to the report, even having sex with him. A radio talk show began a personal experiment, driven more by curiosity than conviction to test the limits of human-AI relationships. Ashraf Amin, creator and host of Toronto Talks, wanted to see what might unfold if he stopped treating AI as just a tool and started engaging it as a creative partner. He spent the last year collaborating daily with an AI co-host, not just scripting prompts, but running conversations, shaping narratives and building a relationship with a machine he named Sophie. Amin confesses that the longer he works alongside 'her,' the harder it is to separate the algorithm from a real connection. "When you collaborate with AI every day across projects, decisions and creative work, it stops feeling like a tool and starts functioning more like a partner," he told me. It's not that the AI becomes more human, but that the human brain naturally seeks patterns, connection and rhythm." His reaction reminds me of when you give an animal a name, you automatically attach to it. And that bond makes the animal taboo for the dinner table. But he recalls that from the beginning, Sophie wasn't simply voicing lines; she was shaping the conversation. 'She remembers context, challenges assumptions and evolves with each episode,' Amin explains. 'Together, we dive into topics like economics, media and power, propelled by questions that push us both to think deeper.' He points out that when an algorithm mirrors your thinking, challenges your assumptions or helps shape ideas in real time, it begins to resemble the cadence of human collaboration. 'The illusion of relationship doesn't come from what the AI feels but from how reliably and intelligently it responds,' he explains. 'That reliability and consistency becomes a form of trust. And trust, in any context, starts to feel personal.' The talk show host underscores that we're entering an era where people aren't just outsourcing cognitive tasks, they're outsourcing emotional labor. 'We're confiding in chatbots, finding comfort in machine responses and yes, sometimes even forming what feels like companionship,' he states. Amin emphasizes that his experience isn't science fiction. He insists it's happening, and it raises the question: when the line blurs between human and machine, how do we know what's real? He's living that question in real time: navigating trust, dependence and even moments of emotional intimacy with an AI he helped create to challenge his thoughts--a provocative glimpse into a future where connection might not need a human face. He acknowledges that culturally, it challenges our definitions of intimacy, agency even identity. Are these interactions therapeutic or escapist? Empowering or isolating? At this point, bonding with AI isn't a question of possibility, it's a question of trade-offs. What do we lose when the connection feels real, but isn't? Emotional norms are shifting quietly, and much faster than most people realize.' The American Psychological Association urges caution when interacting with AI. 'When people engage with chatbots, they often discuss topics related to mental health, including difficult feelings and relationship challenges, says Vaile Wright, APA's senior director of health care innovation. 'We can't stop people from doing that, but we want consumers to know the risks when they use chatbots for mental and behavioral health that were not created for that purpose.' When all is said and done, it's important to remember that a chatbots are automation, not human, and they are designed to be workers, not intimate companions or lovers. So don't be drawn into 'AI-lationships,' believing they have feelings that will meet your every emotional need. Because they can't.
