Latest news with #ex-wife
The Guardian
4 days ago
- General
- The Guardian
This is how we do it: ‘I was twice her age, married and her boss. I questioned whether I was a bad person'
We don't call ourselves a couple. We value our own and each other's freedom Ava and I grew close when I was her boss, and still with my ex-wife. I'm twice her age, and worried how that would appear. What if people confused us for father and daughter? I questioned whether I was a bad person. My daughter, who is four years younger than Ava, was disgusted at first, calling me a pervert, and my ex-wife was also understandably furious. They felt as though they had never truly known me. I feared I may have severed those relationships for ever, but I knew that, with Ava, I had the chance to be incredibly happy. It was months before we had sex. The first time we were intimate, we kept our clothes on. It was an intense experience. I remember her scent and how soft her skin was. I hadn't been able to get an erection for a few years, which led to the death of my sex life with my wife, and I assumed that was it for me. With Ava, I've rediscovered pleasure. Not only sexually, but also the pleasure of being together. In sex, we have dominant-submissive roles. We both believe in female empowerment and equality, and we talk about that conflict, but the two can coexist. Ava likes to be spanked, which excites me. I also find her freedom a turn-on, so sometimes we roleplay scenarios where she's been unfaithful and I'm punishing her. I like the idea of her being with other people, but it makes me jealous. We don't call ourselves a couple. We value our own and each other's freedom, and don't want a conventional future where we fall victim to the mundanity of daily routine. Although we work together, we have decided we will never live together. I've found that cohabiting causes the desire to know everything about someone to fall away, and I always want to feel a deep interest in Ava. To me, intimacy is the time we afford each other. I feel most connected to Ava at the end of the day when I massage her feet and we talk about things that interest us. Sometimes I wake up during the night and we're holding hands, so I start the day feeling loved, like I've been replenished overnight. If you're keen to talk to us about your sex lives you can get in touch by filling in the form below. It is very important that both sexual partners are happy to participate. We want to explore other ways to have sex and not stay as the lovers that we are now There's tension between what I enjoy sexually and my feminist values. I've always taken on the submissive role, but recently I've been questioning how much of this is my desire and how much has been prescribed by the patriarchy. I ask myself: do I actually like this, or have I been taught to like it? Often, I can't tell the difference. Why do I want to be submissive? Sign up to Inside Saturday The only way to get a look behind the scenes of the Saturday magazine. Sign up to get the inside story from our top writers as well as all the must-read articles and columns, delivered to your inbox every weekend. after newsletter promotion For example, Benji used to grab my hair during sex, but after questioning it, I've asked him to stop. I listen to feminist podcasts and read feminist literature, and we communicate a lot about it. We want to challenge, test, learn and develop our relationship in a way that feels progressive. We want to explore other ways to have sex and not stay as the lovers that we are now. At the start, I wasn't attracted to Benji – there were no romantic or sexual feelings, but I felt this strong pull towards him that I couldn't understand. I cared about him and his opinion. He was an important person in my professional and personal life. We had lots of things in common. Then, when he told me his feelings, that the smell of my perfume made him crazy, it opened up another dimension. Our relationship developed. The first time Benji stayed at my place, we didn't sleep at all. We stayed up all night caressing each other through our clothes and looking up at the full moon. It was special. And it was still exciting teasing and building the sexual tension between us with no penetration or orgasm. Benji and I now run a business together, where we're the only employees, and sometimes we roleplay that he's the boss and I'm his secretary. We find that dynamic exciting. We have sex in the office, and use our workspace as part of the fantasy. Since we've been together, I feel free to be more myself, to wear the clothes I want, to say what I want. He speaks to my values of freedom and happiness.
Yahoo
5 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Couple Opened Their Home to a Struggling Friend. Now, Everyone Expects a Free Place to Stay
A woman took to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong for telling several friends and family members they couldn't stay at her home long term The Redditor explains that she and her husband do not have any children and live in a 4,200-square-foot home The couple vowed not to open their home again after previously allowing a friend to stay with them for six monthsA woman is turning to Reddit for advice after repeatedly being asked to open her home to friends and family in need, despite being taken advantage of in the past. In a post, she shares the challenges of maintaining boundaries while living in a spacious 4,200-square-foot home in a beautiful neighborhood, which she describes as her and her husband's 'happy place.' Several years ago, the child-free couple agreed to help a friend who was going through a divorce. 'What was supposed to be a few weeks ended up being six months before we kicked her out,' she writes. The situation spiraled out of control when their friend's alcoholism created significant tension in the household. After finally asking her to leave, the couple agreed that no one would be allowed to stay longer than a short visit, aside from the holidays. Since then, however, they've faced a string of requests from friends and family members hoping to move in. 'My dad's ex-wife wanted to move in as she was having financial issues: we said NO,' the poster explains. Another time, her uncle asked them to take in his daughter and her four children, who were experiencing homelessness due to the cousin's struggles with addiction. 'So it's OK to make our environment unstable???' she questioned rhetorically, emphasizing that they firmly declined. Most recently, one of the couple's friends has repeatedly hinted at moving in due to the ample space in their home. Despite their efforts to deflect these comments with humor, the woman admits that it's becoming increasingly difficult to handle. "It does feel like people come out of the woodwork,' she writes, adding that this latest friend brings up the idea 'all the time.' While they try to make light of the situation, she confesses that it feels disheartening and even bullying at times. Now, the woman is wondering if she and her husband are morally making the right decision by standing firm in their boundaries. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Many Reddit users affirmed the couple's stance. One writes, 'OP and her husband aren't being cruel, they're just protecting their home and peace. Having a big house doesn't mean it's a free-for-all, and it's wild how many people feel entitled to their space. Setting that boundary was 100% the right call.' Another shares, 'You are not running a B&B. Just because you have space it doesn't mean friends or family are entitled to it. No is a complete answer and it's ok to protect your own peace.' Read the original article on People
Yahoo
11-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
DEAR ABBY: Ex-wife pops up after four decades to explain
DEAR ABBY: When my first wife and I were in our early 20s, she left me for another man. It was difficult, but I worked through it, learned to trust again and remarried a few years later. This may be hard to believe, but 46 years later, my ex-wife thought it would be a good idea to try to connect through social media. I knew how to find her if I wanted to, but I had no desire to relive that memory. I made the mistake of replying that I didn't think it was a good idea to connect. Unfortunately, that response led to her trying to explain why things happened in the past. It seems she didn't realize that once you dump someone, you forgo the right to be friends, regardless of how long ago it has been. Her explanation brought back much of the pain I felt so long ago. Please let your readers know that once you divorce, it is over forever, so hopefully they won't have to deal with this like I have. — DISAPPOINTED IN THE EAST DEAR DISAPPOINTED: I am passing along your message. However, some people can't just move on with their lives after a divorce because they are tied together by their children. What your first wife may have wanted was forgiveness from you, or help in forgiving herself, but you were not obligated to relieve her of her guilt. I'm glad you have firmly closed that unhappy chapter in your life. Now, go on. Live your life and don't look back. DEAR ABBY: My husband constantly tells me everything I do is wrong. He was in the Army for 23 years. We have been together for five years but married for only 2 1/2 of them. When I try to cook, he tells me that's not the way to do it. I used to love cooking, but now I hate it, so I quit trying, although I still cook whenever he's gone. He is the only one of us with an income, but he said he doesn't want me working because of my health problems. He had a quadruple bypass six months ago and it changed him for the worse. His recovery was remarkable, but he began drinking. He no longer talks to me — he yells and argues from the time I get up until I go to bed. I'm at the end of my rope and not sure what to do. I love him, but I can't live like this anymore. Please give me some ideas on what to do. — HURTING IN SOUTH CAROLINA DEAR HURTING: Start looking for a job. It may give you a degree of independence and get you out of the house. Your husband was already controlling before his surgery, and you need space to breathe. If his emotional abuse continues contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) and describe what has been going on. Although you love your husband, you may have to decide if you can remain with the status quo. DEAR READERS: I wish a very Happy Mother's Day to mothers everywhere — birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren, as well as dual-role dads. Orchids to all of you for the love you give not only today, but each and every day. — LOVE, ABBY — Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
