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Fast Company
6 days ago
- General
- Fast Company
How to go from quiet to commanding
BY Listen to this Article More info 0:00 / 4:48 You're smart, capable, and consistently deliver results. But in meetings, your voice disappears. As an executive coach with over two decades of experience, I've helped hundreds of introverted leaders find their voice, speak up, and lead with impact. If you're a quiet professional, especially an introvert, you know this feeling well. You're respected, but not remembered. You stay heads-down, hoping the work will speak for itself. But it doesn't. The truth? Many high-performing introverts struggle to be heard, not because they lack confidence or ability, but because they rely on their work to speak for itself. In today's fast-paced, visibility-driven workplace, that's no longer enough. If you want to be seen as a leader, you have to be heard. I recently coached a senior scientist at a global biotech company. Exceptionally skilled and deeply respected, she quietly disappeared in high-stakes meetings, and it was costing her. Colleagues overlooked her contributions. Leaders began excluding her from key decisions, and she was repeatedly passed over for leadership roles, not because of her ability, but because she wasn't seen as a strong presence in the room. Her insights were compelling, but she hesitated to assert them. Some leaders began to misread her silence as a lack of confidence or conviction. What she experienced is common, especially for introverts. Research from Harvard Business Review shows that introverts are often overlooked for leadership roles, not because they're less effective, but because they don't actively show up. When they stay under the radar, they risk being underestimated, no matter how valuable their contributions. Great work isn't enough if no one sees it. You have to make it visible. And that means speaking up. You don't have to be the loudest voice in the room. But you do need to be the one people remember when the meeting ends. That's what shifts perception. That's what gets you noticed. The good news? You don't have to change who you are. You just need a strategy to speak up with clarity, confidence, and impact. Here's how. 5 WAYS TO SPEAK UP WITHOUT BEING LOUD These five strategies are designed specifically for quiet professionals like you, who want to be heard by adding value, not volume. 1. PREPARE WITH PURPOSE As an introvert, preparation is your superpower, but don't overdo it. When preparing for meetings, you don't need to know everything; you just need to know what matters. Don't just bring data; bring perspective. Before the meeting ask yourself: What's the one thing I want leadership to know? What decision are they facing, and how can I help move it forward? advertisement 2. CONNECT TO OUTCOMES Subject-matter experts, and many introverts, tend to explain their full thought process, but that can lose your audience. Instead, lead with the impact. Link your input directly to results. Leaders pay attention when they hear how an idea drives business value, solves a problem, or moves the team forward. 3. DROP SELF-MINIMIZING LANGUAGE Introverts often over-qualify their ideas to sound polite or careful, but it comes across as uncertainty. Skip phrases like 'This might be silly . . .' or 'I'm not sure this makes sense . . .' and say, 'Here's what I see' or 'One idea we haven't explored yet.' If you catch yourself starting with a qualifier, pause. Say it silently, then switch to a more confident version before speaking. 4. START WITH WHAT MATTERS Skip the long preambles. Don't ease in with, 'Let me walk you through my thinking . . .' Go straight to the value: 'Here's a risk I see' or 'One angle that haven't been mentioned . . .' The faster you get to your point, the more likely people are to listen and remember it. 5. FOLLOW UP TO EXTEND YOUR INFLUENCE Many introverts find that writing helps them organize and express their thoughts clearly, so use that strength. After the meeting, send a follow-up email summarizing key points or outlining next steps. This reinforces your ideas, keeps your contributions visible, and positions you as someone who drives clarity and action. YOU'RE IN THE ROOM FOR A REASON If you've ever stared at a table of senior leaders, or a Zoom screen full of them, and thought, What am I doing here? you're not alone. But you weren't invited as a favor. You're here because you add value. The question is: Are you making it clear why your voice matters? The next time you're in a meeting, don't disappear. Show up. Speak up. Let your quiet wisdom be heard. The super-early-rate deadline for Fast Company's Most Innovative Companies Awards is tonight, July 25, at 11:59 p.m. PT. Apply today.
Forbes
23-07-2025
- Business
- Forbes
Ego Is Not A Strategy: Why Humble Leaders Outperform In The Long Run
Dr. Andriana Eliadis, Executive Education Facilitator & Coach at Cornell University, NY, USA and President at Executive Communication. In boardrooms and corner offices around the world, ego is often mistaken for strength. Assertiveness, decisiveness and confidence are prized—and rightfully so. But when confidence tips into ego, leaders may stop listening, stop learning and stop growing. The truth is, ego is not a strategy. It may produce short-term wins, but it undermines long-term effectiveness, innovation and trust. In my coaching work with senior executives, I have seen firsthand how humility—far from being a sign of weakness—is often the most reliable foundation for influence, resilience and sustained performance. Humble leaders ask better questions, invite dissenting views and adjust their course when needed. They do not diminish their authority—they elevate their team. What Humble Leadership Really Means Humility in leadership is often misunderstood. It is not self-deprecation or indecisiveness. Rather, it is the capacity to acknowledge one's limitations, remain open to feedback and prioritize the mission over personal status. Humble leaders do not need to be the smartest person in the room—they strive to build a room full of smart people who feel safe to contribute. A study published in the Academy of Management Journal found that leaders who exhibit humility are more likely to foster engagement, learning-oriented cultures and high-performing teams. These leaders model teachability, which signals psychological safety and encourages others to speak up without fear of judgment. The Neuroscience Of Humility From a brain science perspective, humility activates a different set of cognitive and emotional processes than ego-driven behavior. When a leader practices humility, they engage the prefrontal cortex, the brain's executive center, associated with self-regulation, empathy and long-term thinking. By contrast, ego-driven reactions—such as defensiveness, status-seeking or 'being right'—can activate the amygdala and other parts of the limbic system associated with threat detection. In these moments, leaders may interpret feedback or disagreement as personal attacks, reducing their capacity for open dialogue and triggering behaviors like micromanagement or withdrawal. In short, humble leadership keeps the thinking brain online. Ego shuts it down. A Coaching Case: From Control To Connection A recent executive client—let's call him David—was leading a high-stakes digital transformation at a global technology firm. Bright, ambitious and strategic, he had risen quickly through the ranks. But his team had stopped offering feedback, deadlines were slipping and exit interviews revealed a culture of quiet frustration. In our sessions, it became clear that David equated 'strong leadership' with always having the answer. He rarely admitted mistakes and frequently interrupted team members mid-sentence to redirect the conversation. Though well-intentioned, his behavior stifled innovation and eroded trust. We worked on building his awareness of ego-driven triggers, practicing intentional pauses in meetings and reframing questions to invite dissent. Instead of dominating the conversation, he began asking, 'If you were in my role, what would you be paying attention to right now?' and 'What would feel most helpful for us to explore further as a team?' These subtle shifts in language signaled openness and respect. Within months, his team's engagement scores improved, and two top performers who had considered leaving decided to stay. His humility did not dilute his credibility—it deepened it. Why Ego Fails In Today's Workplace Ego may offer momentary clarity and control, but it is fundamentally unsuited to the complexity of today's organizations. Leadership is no longer about issuing orders from above; it is about orchestrating collaboration, aligning diverse viewpoints and adapting to change. In this context, ego becomes a liability. Research from Google's Project Aristotle found that the most successful teams shared one key trait: psychological safety—the belief that one can speak up without fear of ridicule or punishment. Humble leaders cultivate this environment by admitting what they do not know, actively listening and valuing input over status. Five Practices To Lead With Humility 1. Ask more, tell less. Use curiosity to replace certainty. Ask open-ended questions such as 'What would be a better way to approach this?' or 'Where do you see opportunities I might be missing?' 2. Pause before reacting. When receiving feedback or criticism, pause. Acknowledge the emotion, breathe and then respond with appreciation or clarification. 3. Normalize mistakes. Talk openly about your own missteps and what you learned from them. This sets the tone for a learning culture rather than a blame culture. 4. Share credit generously. Celebrate team wins and highlight others' contributions regularly. This reinforces trust and psychological safety. 5. Audit your intentions. Before speaking or deciding, ask yourself: Am I leading for the mission or for my ego? The answer often shapes the outcome. Confidence Without Ego Humble leadership is not about playing small. It is about playing smart. It is confidence without arrogance, influence without dominance and authority without alienation. In my experience, the most respected leaders are those who can step back enough to elevate others—and in doing so, achieve more together than they ever could alone. Because in the end, ego may impress, but humility transforms. Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?
Forbes
22-07-2025
- Business
- Forbes
The Perception Gap: Why Great Leaders Fail To Influence
Anna Barnhill, CEO of AdvantEdge Leadership, guides executives to peak performance with tailored coaching and leadership strategies. Most leadership development fails because it discounts perception. While executives perfect their skills in boardrooms, their influence evaporates in daily interactions, killed by a perception gap they never knew existed. Organizations invest billions in teaching leaders to change while ignoring whether anyone notices this fundamental truth: Influence isn't about becoming better; it's about being recognized as better by those who matter most. The Hard Truth About Leadership Impact This perception gap isn't theoretical—it's measurable. Marshall Goldsmith's research reveals the core issue: The only thing that counts is leadership effectiveness as perceived by stakeholders. Not your intentions. Not your effort. Not even your actual improvements—only what stakeholders experience and notice. The data exposes a startling reality: • "80% of senior executives believed their change management initiatives were successful, [but] • "74% of managers believe they listen well, [but] only 34% of employees feel heard" • "71% do not trust their leaders' capability to take their organization to the next level," while leadership teams rate themselves at 62.6 out of 100 When stakeholder perceptions differ significantly from leader self-perception, the resulting gap becomes a critical barrier to organizational success. Why Perception Gaps Persist Three cognitive mechanisms explain why even genuine leadership improvements go unnoticed: • Cognitive Filtering: Stakeholders form mental models of who you are as a leader based on past interactions. These models act like filters, making them more likely to notice behaviors that confirm their existing beliefs and overlook changes that contradict them. • The Power Paradox: Research from Stanford shows that gaining power reduces empathy and perspective-taking ability. This creates a double challenge: Leaders become less aware of how they're perceived, just as perception becomes more critical to their success. • Emotional State Projection: Neuroscience reveals that we use ourselves as yardsticks when assessing others. This creates a fundamental challenge: Leaders often assess their impact based on their intentions rather than their stakeholders' actual experiences. A Strategic Framework For Bridging The Gap Understanding the perception gap is just the beginning. Real transformation requires working on two fronts simultaneously: developing your internal capabilities while actively managing how stakeholders experience those changes. My evidence-based IMPACT Framework provides this dual-focus strategy, developed through extensive client work and proven effective across diverse leadership contexts: Leadership transformation begins from the inside out. This phase builds awareness of your internal operating system—cognitive patterns, emotional responses and behavioral defaults that drive your leadership presence. Effective internal leadership mastery integrates three foundational elements: authentic leadership development, emotional intelligence advancement and executive presence cultivation. Research shows 85% of job success stems from people skills, making emotional regulation and self-awareness critical leadership capabilities. During this three- to five-month phase, you engage in systematic self-assessment, identify cognitive and behavioral patterns that undermine effectiveness and build the internal stability required for sustainable external change. Make note of the 10-20 stakeholders most critical to your success, and map their current experience through structured perception audits. This involves understanding: • How stakeholders currently experience your leadership style • What specific behaviors they need to see from you • Where the largest perception gaps exist • Which relationships offer the highest influence leverage Transform stakeholders from passive observers to active partners. Create visible behavioral contracts that make your development efforts transparent. When people know you're working on specific improvements, they become more likely to notice and acknowledge positive changes. Rather than relying on traditional feedback about past performance, implement feedforward focused on future possibilities. The process includes: • Monthly stakeholder check-ins focused on specific behaviors • Collaborative suggestion gathering for improvement opportunities • Progress acknowledgment systems • Systematic documentation of perception shifts Establish baseline assessments and conduct regular perception evaluations. This data-driven approach enables course correction and provides concrete evidence of influence growth over a six- to 12-month period. When stakeholders recognize and amplify your development, transformation occurs. Research demonstrates that "when leaders communicate clearly, lead and support change, and inspire confidence in the future, 95% of employees say they fully trust their leaders"—showing the direct correlation between perceived leadership capability and organizational execution. Case Study: Perception Gap In Action Consider one of my executive clients who was consistently criticized for "slow decision-making" despite having strong analytical skills. His measurable improvement went unnoticed because it wasn't visible to stakeholders. Only when he began communicating decision-making criteria and involving stakeholders in the improvement process did perception scores shift from 0 to 2.8 out of 3 over six months. This example illustrates why behavior change alone is insufficient—perception management requires deliberate strategy. Strategic Assessment Questions Before addressing the perception gap, assess your current state: • Whose perception of your leadership directly determines your success? • What's the current gap between your self-assessment and stakeholder perception? • How can you make your development efforts collaborative rather than invisible? • What measurement systems will track both behavioral change and perception shifts? The Transformation Imperative Organizations cannot afford leaders whose influence fails to match their capability. The perception gap represents both strategic risk and untapped opportunity. Here's the ultimate leadership paradox: Your greatest strengths become your greatest weaknesses when they go unrecognized. Every day this gap persists is another day of unrealized influence. While competitors struggle with invisible development efforts, leaders who master both internal operating systems and perception management gain exponential advantage. The most effective leaders understand that influence isn't determined by becoming better; it's determined by being recognized as better by stakeholders who matter most. This recognition doesn't happen by accident; it requires the same strategic focus and systematic approach you apply to other critical business outcomes. Start by identifying key stakeholders whose perception directly determines your success. When stakeholders witness your development journey, they don't just acknowledge change; they become invested in your success and actively amplify your influence throughout the organization. That recognition becomes the catalyst for exponential influence, growth and lasting impact. Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?
Forbes
09-07-2025
- Business
- Forbes
What No One Tells You About Succeeding At The Next Job Level
Mel Cidado, founder and executive coach at Breakthrough Coaching, LLC, helps high-achieving leaders confidently grow into bigger roles. Congratulations—you did it! You landed the big promotion. You may have finally joined the executive team or stepped into a high-visibility leadership role. You've updated your LinkedIn, sent celebratory texts to mentors and friends and maybe even treated yourself to something nice. It's an exciting time. But now what? One of the biggest mistakes I see newly promoted leaders make is treating this transition like all the others they have experienced before. They onboard the way they always have. They focus on their function, their key performance indicators (KPIs) and their network. They skim a few books or articles for guidance. They listen to advice, most of which helps them operate well in their new job but not lead at this new level. They fall back on familiar strengths. They do what they've always done, only now with a larger scope and a louder title. But that's precisely where many talented leaders unintentionally cap their potential. You Don't Grow By Repeating History The higher you rise, the less structure surrounds you. There's no road map, just expectations. You become the support system, the culture carrier, the one others look to for answers. Influence extends beyond titles. Decisions hinge on what's possible, not perfect. The stakes are higher, the spotlight sharper and the loneliness more real. Many new executives get stuck here. Each leadership level requires not just more responsibility but also a more evolved version of you. If you don't actively evolve, you'll unconsciously default to performing your prior version of leadership. What Got You Here Won't Get You There In my years coaching leaders in transition, I've seen one thing hold people back more than any other: They overdevelop in all the wrong things. They're fluent in tactical operations and may be naturally great at navigating politics, but they're underdeveloped in the capabilities that drive sustainable success at the top. If you want to scale your impact as a leader, you must scale your inner capacity. That means growing in five key areas: Time is finite; energy is renewable. Discover how to replenish yourself, manage your energy and remain grounded under pressure. Leaders who burn out or are on edge can't lead well. Influence, trust and collaboration are the currencies of executive leadership. Emotional congruence, empathy and listening deeply are not "nice to have" soft skills. They are strategic assets. You're not leading a function anymore; you're part of the entire enterprise. Start asking, "How does this impact the whole system?" Learn about and understand interdependencies to think and act beyond your lane. Your environment is constantly evolving. You need the agility to unlearn, relearn and stay curious in the face of ambiguity. Flexibility isn't a fallback plan; it's a powerful skill. Executive presence isn't about polish; it's about steadiness. Your ability to regulate your inner world enables others to fully trust your leadership under pressure. Stop: Don't Wait For The Secret Sauce You may be lucky enough to have a mentor who pulls back the curtain. But most people aren't. Many mentors don't even realize what made them successful; they had to figure it out through struggle, and they may not know how to articulate it. You must be willing to do the hard work yourself. That means asking tough questions, facing uncomfortable truths and pushing beyond the polished image you think you're supposed to project. Leadership development at this level is less about consuming information and more about transformation. Actionable Advice For New Executives If you're in a new role or preparing for one, start here. Don't solely rely on your strengths. Conduct thorough research to determine who you must become to excel in this role and at this level. Create a growth plan that enables you to develop skills, expand your network and acquire the necessary experience. Please pay attention to who is in the inner circle of decision-makers, how they make decisions, what behaviors they reward and what truths they openly discuss (or refrain from discussing). Identify whose trust matters most in your success and who your allies are. Coaching, mentoring, peer and cross-functional feedback and reflective practices are essential to continuous improvement, not optional. Build a personal system for renewal, including daily routines that keep you clear and energized. Ensure that people understand both what you do and why it is essential. Connect the dots between your work and enterprise. Don't assume others will notice. Share your wins with intention and clarity so the right people understand your contributions. Closing Thoughts A promotion isn't the finish line; it's a new starting line. It opens the door to growth in various ways, allowing you to carry more weight and influence beyond your old comfort zone. You don't have to be perfect, but you do need to evolve. To truly leave your mark, lead with integrity, build your capacity and stay grounded in wisdom. Forbes Coaches Council is an invitation-only community for leading business and career coaches. Do I qualify?
Forbes
08-07-2025
- Business
- Forbes
What AI Can And Can't Replace In Executive Coaching
Business Leaders Can Use AI as a Powerful Mentor/Advisor Several years ago, I hired an executive coach. To my dismay, she did little to guide me in my business. Instead, our sessions largely involved me completing exercises from a workbook and telling her my answers. This isn't at all to say that executive coaching is without its many merits. There are many accomplished executive coaches out there providing tremendous value to their clients, revealing new ways of thinking and solving problems, as well as inspiring business breakthroughs. Even so, a recent book got me thinking: if human coaches can do all that, what value might an AI executive coach provide? The question came to me while reading Geoff Wood's The AI‑Driven Leader: Harnessing AI to Make Faster, Smarter Decisions. All along, the author makes the important case that business owners and CEOs must continually see themselves as the thought leader, with AI in a secondary, supportive role. Or as Woods puts it: 'AI doesn't replace what makes you human; it enhances it, helping you turn data into actionable decisions that drive your business forward.' Benefitting From Thoughtful Data-Driven Decisions One key takeaway that stands out from Woods' material is the utility to be found in using AI to interview yourself. It sounds so simple and basic until you realize this is exactly what so many executive coaches already do. They serve in a Socratic Dialogue capacity, querying you until you come to the most beneficial conclusions on your own. Or as the Institute of Coaching so aptly puts it: 'Coaches are masterful at selecting questions—curious, mind-opening, provocative questions. Questions that expand horizons, deepen awareness, and spawn insights. Coaches make every question count, avoiding vague or general questions like: 'How are things since I last saw you?' and instead asking 'what unfolded with the actions you decided on?'' The value of this approach is that it serves as a kind of sounding board or mirror, uncovering insights and takeaways you might struggle to realize on your own. Working with the right sagacious coach, you can benefit from powerful one-on-one sessions that enable you to reflect on past decisions and plan for future challenges and opportunities. The Value Of An AI Executive Coach Again, the utility of such brainstorming with another human is evident. It sure beats the by-the-numbers busy work my coach threw at me. But in the AI Age, we needn't rely on the cognitive faculties of a mere single individual, regardless of their experience or expertise. Instead, we can summon the processing prowess of artificial intelligence trained on a vast, accumulated store of knowledge Just how vast? UMA Technology breaks it down this way: 'When it comes to the precise volume of data used in training ChatGPT-4, OpenAI has not disclosed specific figures related to the dataset size. However, it is widely understood that the dataset consists of hundreds of gigabytes to potentially terabytes of text.' The referenced article goes on to explain that while the previous ChatGPT version was trained on approximately 45 terabytes of text data from various sources, we can expect the latest model to encompass this startling amount, if not more. Such datasets include but aren't limited to the various domains of science, literature, social media, news articles, and beyond. To put this situation in its proper context, ask yourself: how much more powerful would it be to rely on an AI possessing this much information as one's thought partner over even the savviest, most experienced executive coach? What AI Cannot Replace The more I read The AI‑Driven Leader the more concerned I grew about the future of executive coaches due to stunning technology advances. David Reimer, a contributor to SHRM, recently raised similar concerns, beginning with a primer on the size of this vocational category: 'First, the executive coaching 'industry' is atomized and vast. Globally, there are somewhere between 71,0001 and 5,500,0002 executive coaches delivering services.' Though Reimer understandably struggles to quantify the true number of professionals occupying this space, we can be certain it's not insignificant. For all those executive coaches out there now competing against AI with its staggering knowledge base to draw from, a natural question arises: what sets you apart from artificial intelligence? To answer this, I had the privilege of speaking to Chris King, the self-proclaimed executive 'witch doctor' and founder of Status Flow, an advisory firm specializing in achieving goals like improved overall organizational performance, staff engagement/retention, and team cohesion. King and I coauthored the book Renegotiate Your Existence: Unlock Your Impossible Life in 2021 so I was curious for his take on this matter. 'The cookie-cutter, paint-by-numbers executive coaches won't last,' he told me in no uncertain terms. 'Why would any successful business leader bother paying someone who is simply going to ask templated questions or give you a bunch of exercises and assignments anyone could download online? Like all things AI-related, the future belongs to executive coaches who provide something proprietary, something special to them and their practice that no AI can replicate.' King's assessment makes perfect sense. It also dovetails with a recent Forbes article I wrote on the decline of gaming SEO to skew search results. The future, I argued, belongs to those individuals and companies that can provide uniquely human value. In that context I was referring to offering one-of-a-kind content that is helpful in its own right. If King is correct, the same idea will apply to executive coaching. Tomorrow's winners in this space will have their own idiosyncratic system and protocol that no AI can sufficiently duplicate. The Human Component Of course, there are those out there who will argue future business leaders don't want to work with AIs. Instead, they will crave the presence of people, especially the camaraderie and inspiring feelings that come from talking to another flesh and blood human being. This may very well be true. Anecdotally, I have heard from lawyers who express a similar sentiment as to why tomorrow's clients will prefer a human attorney over an AI, even if the latter can recite any case law with eye-popping accuracy. However, we must be careful we do not confuse reality with wishful thinking. The fact is, AI isn't just well-versed in terabytes of data. It's capable of inhabiting various roles in a company when serving in an advisory role. To understand what this means in practice, a CEO could prompt ChatGPT or any other AI to act as its CFO, its investor, its board member, even a customer. Feeding it context to understand a vexing issue or concern, the CEO could engage in a hypothetical back-and-forth exchange with the shapeshifting AI to both unearth both blind spots and helpful epiphanies. For now, it remains to be seen just how AI will affect coaching, not just the executive variety, but even life coaching. As always, when it comes to the threat of automation, the wisest advice any coach—human or otherwise—can offer in these uncertain times is quite simple: be of value. Be irreplaceable.
