Latest news with #familydynamics
Yahoo
a day ago
- General
- Yahoo
14 Things Dysfunctional Families Normalize That Healthy Families Don't
Navigating family dynamics can be a complex journey, especially when you're trying to discern what's considered 'normal.' Every family has its quirks, but some behaviors and patterns are more damaging than others. Dysfunctional families often normalize things that can be confusing or even harmful, and it's not always easy to see when you're in the middle of it. This list will shed some light on these behaviors, helping you recognize what might be a red flag. Let's dive into 14 things dysfunctional families often see as normal, but healthier families would avoid. 1. Having Zero Boundaries In some families, personal boundaries are routinely ignored or dismissed, leading to a sense of intrusion. You might find that your privacy is not respected, with family members walking into rooms without knocking or reading your messages. This lack of boundaries can create an environment where you feel like you have no personal space. According to family therapist Dr. John Smith, boundary violations can lead to increased anxiety and a feeling of being constantly on alert. A healthy family, however, understands and respects each person's right to privacy and personal space, fostering trust and individuality. In contrast, healthy families teach the importance of setting and respecting personal boundaries. They encourage open conversations about what makes each person comfortable and work together to honor those needs. This respect for boundaries builds a foundation of trust where everyone feels secure and valued. It's not about putting up walls but about fostering a respectful environment. You might notice that in healthier family dynamics, members rarely, if ever, feel the need to tiptoe around each other emotionally or physically. 2. Emotionally Neglecting Each Other Emotional neglect can be a hidden issue in many dysfunctional families. It occurs when a family consistently fails to respond to your emotional needs, making you feel unseen or unheard. You might find it hard to talk about your feelings because you've been conditioned to believe that your emotions are unimportant. This can lead to internalized feelings of worthlessness or emotional suppression. In a healthier family environment, however, emotional awareness and expression are encouraged, teaching you that your feelings matter. Healthy families prioritize emotional support, providing a safe space to express emotions without fear of judgment. They are attentive to changes in mood and behavior, offering help and support when needed. This nurturing approach creates an atmosphere where each member feels valued and understood. Instead of dismissing emotions as inconvenient or burdensome, healthy families see them as integral parts of human interaction. This understanding and empathy help foster stronger, more supportive relationships. 3. Constantly Criticizing Everyone In dysfunctional families, you might notice that criticism is rampant and often harsh. This kind of environment can make you feel like you're never good enough, chipping away at your self-esteem over time. Constant criticism is often disguised as 'constructive feedback,' but it can become toxic when it's relentless and unkind. This can lead to long-term self-esteem issues and may contribute to anxiety and depression. In healthier family dynamics, feedback is given with empathy and support, aiming to encourage rather than belittle. Healthy families focus on positive reinforcement and constructive criticism that empowers rather than diminishes. They create an environment where mistakes are seen as opportunities for growth rather than occasions for ridicule. This supportive approach helps build confidence and resilience, encouraging members to learn and improve. Encouragement is a key factor, as it fosters a sense of self-worth and capability. In these families, the focus is on building each other up, not tearing each other down. 4. Avoiding Arguments Or Conflict Dysfunctional families often fall into the trap of avoiding conflict at all costs. You might find that issues are swept under the rug or ignored entirely, leading to a buildup of unresolved tension. This avoidance can make it difficult to address problems openly and can result in passive-aggressive behavior. Sweeping problems under the rug might seem like a way to maintain peace, but it often leads to more significant issues down the line. In a healthier family, conflict is addressed calmly and directly, allowing for resolution and understanding. In contrast, healthy families approach conflict as a natural part of life that can be resolved through communication. They encourage open discussions where everyone can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of retribution. This openness helps to resolve issues before they escalate, reducing long-term tension and fostering understanding. By addressing conflict head-on, these families learn to navigate disagreements productively. This proactive approach encourages a more open and honest relationship among family members. 5. Not Communicating A lack of communication is a hallmark of dysfunctional family dynamics. You might find that important conversations are avoided, and assumptions are made instead of clarifying misunderstandings. This lack of open dialogue can lead to feelings of isolation and confusion about what's expected of you. According to communication expert Dr. Emily Greene, clear and consistent communication is crucial for a healthy relationship, as it fosters trust and understanding. In healthier families, communication is open, honest, and ongoing, allowing everyone to feel heard and appreciated. Healthy families prioritize communication and make sure that everyone feels included in the conversation. They create an atmosphere where questions are welcomed, and misunderstandings are clarified without judgment. This transparency helps prevent miscommunication and fosters a sense of unity and support. By encouraging open dialogue, these families ensure that all members feel valued and understood. This strong foundation of communication strengthens relationships and builds trust over time. 6. Enabling Dysfunctional Behavior Dysfunctional families often enable negative or harmful behaviors without realizing the long-term consequences. You might see a pattern of excusing or ignoring behaviors that are damaging, such as substance abuse or manipulation. This enabling can create a cycle where issues are never truly addressed, perpetuating the dysfunction. It's often easier to turn a blind eye or make excuses than to confront the problem head-on. However, healthier families recognize the importance of addressing these behaviors directly and constructively. In a healthy family environment, negative behaviors are addressed openly and with the intent to find a solution. They establish clear boundaries and consequences, encouraging accountability and personal growth. This proactive approach helps break the cycle of enabling, fostering a more supportive and responsible family dynamic. By addressing issues head-on, these families work towards resolution and healing, rather than allowing problems to fester. This commitment to growth and improvement helps cultivate a healthier, more stable environment for everyone involved. 7. Putting The Blame On Others In dysfunctional families, there's often a tendency to assign blame whenever something goes wrong. This blame game creates a hostile environment where you might feel constantly on edge, worried about being accused. It's a defensive mechanism that shifts responsibility away from oneself and can lead to resentment and tension. According to family therapist Dr. Linda Johnson, constant blame can erode trust and weaken relationships over time. In healthy families, accountability and understanding take precedence over finger-pointing. Healthy families focus on finding solutions rather than placing blame. They approach mistakes as learning opportunities and encourage taking responsibility without shaming or blaming. This focus on accountability helps build trust and fosters a supportive environment where everyone feels valued. By promoting understanding and empathy, these families strengthen their relationships and work towards collective growth. The shift from blame to accountability leads to healthier dynamics and more constructive interactions. 8. Being Emotionally Manipulative Emotional manipulation is a subtle yet pervasive issue in many dysfunctional families. It can manifest in various ways, from guilt-tripping to gaslighting, leaving you feeling confused and powerless. This manipulation often stems from an imbalance of power and a need to control the family's emotional landscape. Over time, it can erode self-esteem and create a cycle of dependency and guilt. In contrast, healthier families prioritize honesty and transparency, fostering an environment where manipulation has no place. In a healthy family setting, emotional honesty and integrity are valued above manipulation. Family members strive to communicate openly, addressing issues directly rather than resorting to underhanded tactics. This transparency creates a stronger foundation of trust and mutual respect, promoting healthy interactions. By rejecting manipulation, these families encourage genuine connections and a sense of emotional safety. The result is a more supportive and nurturing environment where everyone can thrive. 9. Playing Favorites Favoritism is a common issue in dysfunctional families, leading to feelings of resentment and inadequacy. You might notice that one family member receives more attention or praise, creating a divide among siblings. This unequal treatment can breed jealousy and competition, damaging relationships and self-esteem. It's often an unintentional behavior, but the impact can be long-lasting and deeply hurtful. Healthier families strive to treat each member with equal love and attention, fostering a sense of fairness and unity. In a healthy family dynamic, effort is made to celebrate each person's unique strengths and achievements. They recognize the importance of treating everyone with fairness, avoiding comparisons that can lead to rivalry and resentment. This focus on equality helps build a supportive and cohesive family unit, where everyone feels valued. By acknowledging and appreciating individual differences, these families cultivate a sense of belonging and respect. This approach fosters healthier relationships and a stronger sense of family unity. 10. Not Showing Support In dysfunctional families, you might find that support is often lacking, leaving you feeling alone in times of need. This lack of support can manifest in neglecting to attend important events or failing to provide emotional or financial backing when necessary. It can create an environment where you feel undervalued and overlooked, impacting your self-worth and sense of belonging. In contrast, healthy families prioritize being there for one another, offering support in various forms. This support creates a strong foundation of trust and reliability that strengthens family bonds. Healthy families understand the importance of showing up for each other, both physically and emotionally. They make an effort to be present during significant moments, offering encouragement and assistance when needed. This sense of support fosters a nurturing environment where everyone feels safe and valued. By being reliable and dependable, these families build a network of trust and loyalty. This supportive dynamic encourages each member to pursue their goals and dreams, knowing they have a strong safety net. 11. Being Overly Controlling Dysfunctional families often struggle with issues of control, where one or more members exert excessive influence over others. This over-control can stifle individuality and lead to feelings of resentment and rebellion. You might feel like you're constantly being monitored or that your choices are being made for you, leaving little room for personal growth. In healthier families, there's a balance between guidance and autonomy, allowing each member to flourish. This balance fosters independence and self-confidence, promoting healthier relationships overall. Healthy families encourage autonomy while providing guidance and support when needed. They understand the importance of allowing each member to make their own decisions and learn from their experiences. This approach helps build confidence and a sense of personal responsibility, empowering everyone to grow and thrive. By respecting each person's individuality, these families create an environment where everyone feels valued and respected. This balance between support and freedom strengthens familial bonds and nurtures personal development. 12. Having Blurred Roles In dysfunctional families, roles and responsibilities can often become blurred, leading to confusion and stress. You might find yourself taking on responsibilities that don't belong to you, like acting as a parent to your siblings or managing household issues beyond your capacity. This can result in feelings of overwhelm and resentment, as the lines between family roles become increasingly unclear. In contrast, healthy families maintain clear and appropriate roles, ensuring everyone knows their responsibilities and has the support they need. This clarity helps create a more organized and harmonious family environment. Healthy families emphasize the importance of clear and defined roles, ensuring that responsibilities are distributed fairly and appropriately. They foster an environment where everyone understands their part and respects the boundaries of others. This structure helps prevent confusion and conflict, promoting a more efficient and supportive family dynamic. By maintaining clear roles, these families encourage cooperation and teamwork, creating a more balanced and harmonious environment. This clarity fosters a sense of stability and security, allowing everyone to thrive within their roles. 13. Not Resolving Trauma Dysfunctional families often struggle with unresolved trauma that affects their interactions and relationships. This trauma can manifest in various ways, such as emotional outbursts, avoidance behaviors, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. You might find that past issues are rarely discussed, leading to a cycle of repeated patterns and unresolved tension. In healthier families, there's a focus on healing and addressing past traumas to prevent them from dictating present behavior. This proactive approach fosters healing and growth, allowing for more positive and supportive relationships. Healthy families recognize the importance of acknowledging and addressing past traumas to move forward constructively. They prioritize open discussions and seek professional help when necessary to work through these issues. This commitment to healing helps prevent the past from overshadowing the present, promoting healthier interactions and relationships. By fostering an environment of understanding and support, these families create a space where healing and growth can occur. This focus on resolution and healing strengthens family bonds and encourages a more positive outlook. 14. Lack Of Fun Dysfunctional families may overlook the importance of having fun and enjoying each other's company. You might find that family gatherings are tense or filled with conflict rather than laughter and joy. This lack of fun can create a disconnect and make family interactions feel like a chore rather than a pleasure. In contrast, healthy families prioritize spending quality time together, creating opportunities for fun and bonding. This focus on enjoyment fosters positive relationships and a sense of belonging. Healthy families understand the value of shared experiences and prioritize activities that bring joy and connection. They make time for family outings, game nights, or simple shared meals, creating a space where everyone can relax and enjoy each other's company. This emphasis on fun helps strengthen family bonds and creates lasting memories. By cultivating a joyful and loving environment, these families encourage positive interactions and a sense of togetherness. This focus on enjoyment and connection enriches family dynamics and promotes overall happiness. Solve the daily Crossword
The Guardian
2 days ago
- General
- The Guardian
‘What about me?' The confusing jealousy of being spared the abuse my father committed against my sister
A winter's day. My father in the dark room of my memory developing photographs. The door is shut. My sister stands with him. He aims to teach her the essentials of photography. How to turn a black and white negative rolled from the interior of his camera, unspooled in the dark, then bathed in trays of chemicals, to bring the past back to life in black and white. My sister's special treatment as the only one of nine siblings to learn this skill does not go unnoticed, by me at least. I am 10 years old and long to learn, even as I want only to be an insect in the corner watching unseen. My father taught me fear. Small children rely on their parents for sustenance and survival and when a parent is abusive, where the only love a child comes to know is corrupted, it comes with a sense that other siblings, who also seek his love, are rivals. Writing about child sexual abuse is hard. Writing about the unfathomable, yet surprisingly common jealousy experienced as the sibling of an abused child is even harder. This is what I aim to do here. The pecking order of people in my family fascinated me from when I sat perched on a bench at the kitchen table. We dangled our legs and looked at our plates still empty until our mother piled on a mountain of potatoes mashed with carrot and onion. Hutspot, a Dutch delight designed to fill empty bellies with basic nutrition and as easy to assemble as cheese on toast. Look around this table. Note the parents at either end. Mother closest to the kitchen sink, father at the head. A constellation that speaks to the order of things. Migrants to Australia from Europe after the war. Imagine this family and consider which of these children suffers most. Is it the girl who sits beside me? At nine years old she travelled alone in an ambulance to the Fairfield infectious diseases hospital and stayed there for three months in the women's dormitory with rheumatic fever, a strep throat gone wrong. Excluded with a communicable disease. Or could it be her taller brother on the other side of the table? Months earlier as a sixteen-year-old he copped the same fate. Only his rheumatic fever morphed into osteomyelitis after the infection travelled from his heart to his feet. He nearly lost a leg, but doctors dragged his life and limb back from the brink. Still functional, despite the crater in its centre. Was it the boy on the other side of me? The one christened the family genius, who scooped prizes in his final years at school, in Latin, French, English, mathematics, physics and chemistry. He was left-handed in the days when left-handedness was a curse to be ironed out. Or the other boy on the bench, the 'runt of the litter' because, unlike his four brothers, he failed to grow tall. He struggled to read in a family that valued literacy. He sat at the end of the table after dinner alone reading out loud. Each time he stumbled his father rapped a fork over his knuckles. None of these. From the oldest to the youngest, the one singled out for the prize of victim, goes to my eldest sister. She in the dark room. A red globe overhead, the only light as my father touched her body in secret. It took 50 years before she could tell me. How could I be jealous of an elder sister for having something I never wanted and yet at the same time longed for? My father's abusive 'love' and my mother's apparent gratitude towards her for enduring it. When Haruki Murakami's character Kafka, in his novel, Kafka on the Shore, experiences a stab of jealousy, Murakami reminds us, jealousy is like 'a brush fire. It torches your heart'. Heat that rises from your core. If there is any emotion that dogs me beyond shame and occasional deep longing, it is jealousy. And to understand this complex emotion I join with another who has researched this area for a deep dive. We met online. Social worker Anais Cadieux Van Vliet had read my book, The Art of Disappearing and was interested to discuss the impact of childhood sexual abuse on what they call non-abused and non-abuser siblings. Cadieux Van Vliet uses the term with reservations, as it fails to include the fact such siblings are also indirectly abused. As part of their research, Cadieux Van Vliet has interviewed clinicians to ascertain how they consider the experience for non-abused, non-abuser siblings within such families. Although clinicians might understand the vexed position we so-called non-abused siblings find ourselves in, others are more circumspect. Maybe more concrete in their understanding. As if the abuse matters only to the people within the abused/abusive couple, primarily the victim/survivor. The rest becomes collateral. One of the hardest things to understand, the extent to which a person who survives abuse by avoiding it, one who sits beside or witnesses the abuse like me, or who like Cadieux Van Vliet learns about it later, carries a question: 'What about me?' A tingling of jealously we find hard to understand because we know we're also the lucky ones to have been spared. My father never showed me love. He had eyes only for my big sister – she was the one who got 'special treatment'. Although she and I did not talk about it until I was in my fifties, I knew what had happened between my father and my sister even as a 10-year-old when we shared a bedroom. I had no words for it then. How can we call abuse 'special treatment'? In the mind of a child this is how it seems. Your father chooses you, or at least he chooses your body on which to focus his attention. As Maurice Whelan, a psychoanalyst describes it, for the abused child a deep confusion ensues. The father visits in the night, in secrecy and does things with their body that trouble, and disturb them, even as this touch might arouse them in ways they cannot understand. Then the father swears them to secrecy and in the morning and in days to come, says nothing. The non-abused sibling may not be aware of this. May not see it happening, as I did, but all non-abused siblings live in a hot house of repressed sexuality. It erupts in secrecy and silence in the shadows. A sexuality that is confused with power and shame. My younger sisters have different stories. They too came close to being sexually abused by our father. Non-abused siblings, whether they consciously know or not, are overtaken by an atmosphere of secrecy and violent underpinnings that speak to something dangerous going on. It does not feel safe in such a household. The unspoken rule is to stay silent. When I was 14, my sister told me the so-called facts of life as relayed to her by our father. He had given her this information to help her grow, he said, because our mother came from a repressed Catholic household and did not know what a man needed. He therefore taught my sister about his desire, confused as hers. And she in turn, wanting to shield me from the pain of his lessons, told me repeatedly: 'If he touches you, scream.' When you're a child, the life you lead is the only one you know. You catch glimpses of other people's lives from a distance. Our family was unique in our foreignness and in the abuses my father meted out. It shamed me when I looked at the fathers of other children at my school who seemed more loving. My father's choice was my fault. If I behaved in a different way, if I was more like my elder sister, if I offered him more by way of interest, or body shape or beauty then he might not only notice me but also he might be kind and not fly into rages at the simplest slight. My mother's overcooked steak. Dishes piled high in the sink. Any child who did not behave as they were told. When I was 12 and shared a room with my elder sister I went to bed ahead of her. Alone under the blankets I imagined myself as Maid Marion from Robin Hood and his merry men. I hid in the forest terrified the Sheriff of Nottingham might carry me to his castle and ravage me. Somewhere in my unconscious mind, I knew what was happening to my sister. I was almost asleep to the soft thud of my father's bare feet on the carpet between our beds. My sister asleep or so I imagined. I did not want him to take me in his arms and possess me. I did not want whatever it was my father did to my sister on those nights, night after night when he came into our room while the rest of the house slept. And yet, I wanted to turn him into Robin Hood. I wanted my father to want me. Looking back, it was as if any woman who commanded my father's attention was one who evoked sexual feelings in him. The rest of us were dispatched. People to cook and clean. My mother bore babies for him, but those already born were of no consequence. Except my sister. My mother believed our father had stopped visiting her in the night. She caught him once in our bedroom, my father hunched over my sister while I was in the next bed pretending to be asleep. 'If you ever come here again,' she said, 'I'll kill you'. Her threat did not stop him, but my mother could not bear to believe otherwise. When you're desperate, you'll do anything to survive. I was in awe of my sister's courage when she stood in front of my father's chair and sometimes asked for money. I could not ask for anything of my father beyond the good night gesture my mother forced on to us younger children. My father stretching up from his chair to make the sign of the cross on our foreheads as some type of fatherly protection. I despised this ritual. The rasp of my father's fingers on my soft forehead, the croak of his words, 'goedenacht', the air puffing back into his seat when he flopped down, and we, my younger sister and I retreated to our respective rooms, ready for the dangers of the night. Bless me father for I have sinned against my younger sister for wanting what was hers. I borrowed her dress when she did not give me permission. Then I ruined it. My sister's dress was too small. I slipped into it well enough, but the buttons could not hold against the pressure of my first attempts to skate around the ice rink at St Moritz in St Kilda with school friends one summer holiday. I came home in the dress; its underarms ripped from their sockets. My sister was enraged. I had destroyed her favourite dress. Blue denim with buttons up the front. Jealousy ruins things. Ruins people. But my therapist reassured me it was a feeling, and not evil, however painful. It's bad enough to endure this feeling, she told me, but ten times worse if you're given the message it's wrong to feel it in the first place. If we squash the feeling because we believe it's wrong then the feeling will bury itself inside, until the sinews of our hearts are like shards of stone that can harden into volcanic rock. Explosions are dangerous. They can destroy everything in their path. Better to feel the tug and pull and pain of jealousy than to let it enter the vaults of the hidden and forgotten. My father in the dark room of my memory holds my sister close and I shudder, relieved to be spared while sad to have missed out. Only in writing can I reconcile these two opposing emotions. When you know something is wrong it surrounds you every day. In families where child sexual abuse occurs, not only are you silenced in the childhood of your home, you're silenced throughout your lifetime, because it hurts other people to hear. But on the page, we can see it, the marks of memory. The open secret. The weird jealousy of an unloved child. The colour green.
Yahoo
3 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Woman Says She Doesn't Want to Tell Her Parents When She Gives Birth to Avoid ‘Drama'
'I would love for my parents to visit after the baby is born, but I can't trust that they won't announce it to my siblings,' the pregnant Redditor saidNEED TO KNOW An expectant mom said she's considering hiding the birth of her baby from her parents because they might tell her siblings Posting on Reddit, she explained that one of her siblings recently showed up "unannounced" despite them having recently fallen out The pregnant woman asked if it would be unreasonable not to tell her family about her baby's birth to avoid 'distractions or drama" for her other childrenA pregnant woman is considering hiding the birth of her baby from her family following a fall out with her siblings. Explaining her family's dynamics on Reddit, the woman gushed that she 'adores' her parents despite one not living nearby since they separated. She said her mom and dad are supportive of her but have both 'crossed boundaries' by repeating things she's said to her siblings, with whom she recently fell out. 'Not just about the pregnancy, but other issues I've faced too,' the pregnant woman said. 'One of my siblings, despite the fallout, has repeatedly shown up unannounced with the parent that lives close by and is trying to act like nothing happened, which I am uncomfortable with and have expressed this,' she added. is now available in the Apple App Store! Download it now for the most binge-worthy celeb content, exclusive video clips, astrology updates and more! The expectant mom described herself as having 'fragile' mental health due to her current pregnancy being 'physically harder' than her previous one. She also explained that she's doing her best to 'be as civil' as possible with her siblings, while protecting herself during the vulnerable period. 'I'm not far off my due date now, and I'm tempted to make a public announcement telling people not to show up unexpectedly,' the woman posted. 'But I've also considered just not telling anyone when I've had the baby. 'I would love for my parents to visit after the baby is born, but I can't trust that they won't announce it to my siblings, and then they'll turn up unannounced again because 'ooh, baby,' ' she continued. 'One of the siblings I fell out with has already made plans to go and pick up the parent who lives further away to meet the baby after the baby is born,' she added. 'But the plans were made without asking me or taking me and my family into consideration at all, it was just assumed that it would be acceptable.' The expectant mom explained that her reluctance to announce the birth of her baby is because she wants to 'enjoy the peace a little bit.' She also shared a desire to develop a routine for her other children once the newborn arrives that doesn't involve 'distractions or drama.' Despite most of her friends reassuring her that it's a good idea not to announce the birth, the pregnant woman was curious what Reddit users would say. 'So WIBTA [will I be the a-----] for not telling them despite all they've done for me?' she asked of her parents. The majority of responses to the post advised the woman to set boundaries with her family. They argued that it's acceptable for her not to want visitors, but said she should tell her relatives that she needs space as part of her baby's birth announcement. Others encouraged the woman to repair the rift with her siblings because 'life is short.' Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 'I think you are inviting a lot more drama than you might be ready for by not telling them,' one person commented. 'This is going to be seen as a very aggressive move by your parents. If you're ready for that — great... but it already sounds like you struggle a lot with establishing healthy boundaries with your family.' 'Better to be up front and blunt about what the consequences are going to be (lowered contact most likely) if they overstep and bring siblings around that you don't want to see after the baby comes,' the same commenter continued. 'You're NTA [not the a-----], but I think you are setting yourself up for a lot of stress if you hide the birth from your parents.' Another wrote, 'Cutting out your parents (and your siblings) from the day of birth, and the first days of baby, is pretty big. But if you are absolutely sure that this is what you need.. NTA.' 'Be VERY clear in your communication that you need the first week total rest, meaning no visitors and no surprises and no exceptions,' the same commenter added. 'Also, be clear to people, especially parents, when you tell them what information they can and can't share.' Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
6 days ago
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
Woman Fed Up with Mother-in-Law's Creative Ways to Drop by Unannounced
NEED TO KNOW One woman says her mother-in-law is finding creative ways to drop by her home unannounced In a post on Reddit, the woman writes that her husband's mom stops by to see everything from art hung on the walls to a new furniture orientation Now, she's turning to the internet for adviceOne woman says her mother-in-law is finding creative ways to drop by her home unannounced — but she's had enough of the unexpected visits. In a post published on Reddit, the anonymous woman writes that her husband's mother "seems to have wiggled her way into my life." Despite her husband recently telling his mom the couple couldn't spend a lot of time with her, she has now found new ways to interject herself into their lives. "She calls my husband when she's close by, asking if she can stop by to either see the pictures we hung on the wall, our new furniture orientation, or even our new table in the house (which she saw when we bought it at the store because she was there)," she writes. "But she hasn't seen it in the house so she needs to come over?" She continues: "Or when we finished some home projects and she called saying she had to drop something off for my husband, came over looked at it and gave her opinions and left without giving anything ... Then my husband and I decided to do a trip this year and she heard about it and said she's always wanted to go and we should go together." "How do I prevent this behavior now and her just thinking she needs to come over because she wants to see every time we do something new in the house?" she asks in the ending of her post. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Other Reddit users are advising the woman to find her mother-in-law a hobby. Writes one commenter: "She is lonely. She needs to find an outlet other than you and your husband. Is there a seniors' center in your city? I think the Y has classes for seniors. She could do tai chi or aquatic classes and meet people her own age." Adds another: "You are going to have to sit down with your husband and come up with some consequences to her overstepping, then explain to her what they are and what will trigger consequences: 'You need to stop coming up with excuses to come to our house. We will invite you when we are ready.' " Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword
Daily Mail
13-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
SARAH VINE: Harry is a selfish brat with a pushy wife – and he can't be trusted. I know exactly why he's suddenly so desperate to claw his way back into the royal fold – and what the King needs to do next…
They say that as a parent you are only ever as happy as your unhappiest child. Given Prince Harry 's clearly troubled state of mind, it can't have been easy for King Charles to find much peace these past few years. Since the Duke and Duchess of Sussex left to start a new life in California, Harry has sadly shown himself to be deeply unhappy, lashing out like a wounded animal at those who care about him most.
