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Yahoo
13-07-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
Dave Ramsey: What To Do If Someone Asks for Their Monetary Gift Back
Depending on the closeness of friends and family members, a financial gift can either come as a genuine support or it might come with invisible strings that prove to be more complicated than the money is worth. Only you can make that call. Find Out: Read Next: A young man called into finance expert Dave Ramsey's show, 'The Ramsey Show,' with a related problem: His grandmother had given him and his wife a gift of $9,000 to be used as they saw fit: for wedding planning, toward a home purchase or whatever they wanted, saying that she did not expect the money back. Over time, however, Grandma started fishing for personal financial information, such as how they were doing financially, which made the caller nervous. Soon, Grandma now not only wanted her money back, she wanted it back with interest, to the tune of around $12,000. With a household income, after taxes, of around $70,000, $12,000 is a lot of money for the caller and his wife to pay back. Here's what Dave Ramsey recommended they do (and what lessons can you take away from this story). Ramsey took the side of the caller, saying, 'You do not morally owe her a dime.' He suggested that the caller could just as easily take Grandma to task by reminding her that she had patently called the money a gift and was now reneging on that agreement. He told the caller he would be within his rights not to pay her back. However, Ramsey said he suspected the likely result of doing so was that Grandma would become 'Mt. Vesuvius, because she likes to pull people's strings, and when they don't dance at the end of her string, she has a little fit.' The caller agreed this was likely, given Grandma's history of doing similar things to his parents. Ramsey suggested that a person in this position has to make a choice between keeping the peace and doing what feels 'right' to them, which might include maintaining peace in family or being able to literally go home for the holidays. Learn More: Assuming correctly that the caller did not want to handle emotional upheaval or family drama, Ramsey suggested another alternative, a more practical, if disappointing, choice: to pay Grandma back, even though that wasn't the original agreement. Even within this scenario he urged the caller to think through his options that included making a payment plan and staying tethered to a manipulative relative for a long stretch of time, paying off only exactly the amount 'gifted,' or paying off the total 'plus interest' as Grandma now claimed they owed. The choice was the caller's. If the caller opted to pay Grandma back, Ramsey recommended getting the money paid off as quickly as possible — saving it in an account until it was all there — and making a clean break. However, he did warn that Grandma's manipulations might not stop there. If they paid the extra interest she was now 'charging,' he suggested she might suddenly find a way to keep asking for more. Sometimes, a hard boundary is necessary. It was up to the caller to decide. To recap, Ramsey's suggestions for your choices in a situation where a gift has been given and then rescinded include: Tell the person sorry, you're keeping what was given freely and deal with the fallout. Pay the person back either all at once or set up a payment plan, but only the amount given and not a penny more. Pay back the full amount with interest to keep a complicated relationship from getting worse. If any of these options don't appeal, or don't apply, you can also: Look into mediation with a neutral third party to try to reach a peaceful resolution. Speak with a financial therapist to work out complicated emotions before making a decision. Seek legal advice if the person threatens court action. Write a formal letter clarifying the original terms of the gift and your intended course of action. Get documentation in writing to prevent future misunderstandings if you choose to repay. Establish a firm boundary and step back from communication for a period of time. Consult a consumer protection attorney if harassment or manipulation continues. No matter what option you choose, get it in writing and have it witnessed and notarized. Additionally, it's probably a good time to lean into very clear communication and get everything in writing when it comes to financial gifts. More From GOBankingRates 3 Luxury SUVs That Will Have Massive Price Drops in Summer 2025 The 10 Most Reliable SUVs of 2025 The 5 Car Brands Named the Least Reliable of 2025 This article originally appeared on Dave Ramsey: What To Do If Someone Asks for Their Monetary Gift Back Sign in to access your portfolio
Yahoo
13-07-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
Dave Ramsey: What To Do If Someone Asks for Their Monetary Gift Back
Depending on the closeness of friends and family members, a financial gift can either come as a genuine support or it might come with invisible strings that prove to be more complicated than the money is worth. Only you can make that call. Find Out: Read Next: A young man called into finance expert Dave Ramsey's show, 'The Ramsey Show,' with a related problem: His grandmother had given him and his wife a gift of $9,000 to be used as they saw fit: for wedding planning, toward a home purchase or whatever they wanted, saying that she did not expect the money back. Over time, however, Grandma started fishing for personal financial information, such as how they were doing financially, which made the caller nervous. Soon, Grandma now not only wanted her money back, she wanted it back with interest, to the tune of around $12,000. With a household income, after taxes, of around $70,000, $12,000 is a lot of money for the caller and his wife to pay back. Here's what Dave Ramsey recommended they do (and what lessons can you take away from this story). Ramsey took the side of the caller, saying, 'You do not morally owe her a dime.' He suggested that the caller could just as easily take Grandma to task by reminding her that she had patently called the money a gift and was now reneging on that agreement. He told the caller he would be within his rights not to pay her back. However, Ramsey said he suspected the likely result of doing so was that Grandma would become 'Mt. Vesuvius, because she likes to pull people's strings, and when they don't dance at the end of her string, she has a little fit.' The caller agreed this was likely, given Grandma's history of doing similar things to his parents. Ramsey suggested that a person in this position has to make a choice between keeping the peace and doing what feels 'right' to them, which might include maintaining peace in family or being able to literally go home for the holidays. Learn More: Assuming correctly that the caller did not want to handle emotional upheaval or family drama, Ramsey suggested another alternative, a more practical, if disappointing, choice: to pay Grandma back, even though that wasn't the original agreement. Even within this scenario he urged the caller to think through his options that included making a payment plan and staying tethered to a manipulative relative for a long stretch of time, paying off only exactly the amount 'gifted,' or paying off the total 'plus interest' as Grandma now claimed they owed. The choice was the caller's. If the caller opted to pay Grandma back, Ramsey recommended getting the money paid off as quickly as possible — saving it in an account until it was all there — and making a clean break. However, he did warn that Grandma's manipulations might not stop there. If they paid the extra interest she was now 'charging,' he suggested she might suddenly find a way to keep asking for more. Sometimes, a hard boundary is necessary. It was up to the caller to decide. To recap, Ramsey's suggestions for your choices in a situation where a gift has been given and then rescinded include: Tell the person sorry, you're keeping what was given freely and deal with the fallout. Pay the person back either all at once or set up a payment plan, but only the amount given and not a penny more. Pay back the full amount with interest to keep a complicated relationship from getting worse. If any of these options don't appeal, or don't apply, you can also: Look into mediation with a neutral third party to try to reach a peaceful resolution. Speak with a financial therapist to work out complicated emotions before making a decision. Seek legal advice if the person threatens court action. Write a formal letter clarifying the original terms of the gift and your intended course of action. Get documentation in writing to prevent future misunderstandings if you choose to repay. Establish a firm boundary and step back from communication for a period of time. Consult a consumer protection attorney if harassment or manipulation continues. No matter what option you choose, get it in writing and have it witnessed and notarized. Additionally, it's probably a good time to lean into very clear communication and get everything in writing when it comes to financial gifts. More From GOBankingRates 3 Luxury SUVs That Will Have Massive Price Drops in Summer 2025 How Far $750K Plus Social Security Goes in Retirement in Every US Region Clever Ways To Save Money That Actually Work in 2025 This article originally appeared on Dave Ramsey: What To Do If Someone Asks for Their Monetary Gift Back
Yahoo
12-05-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
Including Money in a Sympathy Card: Etiquette & Tips
It's natural to want to help a bereaved family during their time of loss, but whether you should put money in a sympathy card can actually be a bit of a touchy subject. Like everything else surrounding grief, the etiquette of putting money in a condolence card comes down to making sure everyone's feelings are taken into consideration. Although some people may find giving and receiving cash awkward, there are situations when money is just what the family needs during a difficult time. Funerals can be expensive, and depending on the circumstances, a monetary gift can be the best offering for a grieving family. We have the proper etiquette for every situation. Before tucking a financial gift into your sympathy card, consider the family's situation. There are times when money is the best gift you can offer, and there are times when it can be frowned upon. Learn when it might be best to offer a financial bereavement gift. These are a few of the times when it's appropriate to put money in your sympathy card. The deceased was the primary earner for the family. The surviving spouse is on a fixed income. The person who passed away had young children. You know the family did not have insurance. The family is in a difficult financial situation already. The cause of death might prevent insurance from paying. The family is asking for cash donations. If the person who passed away was the primary earner of the family, then it's appropriate to offer money to help. Even with life insurance, claims take time to process. Your monetary gift can help with funeral expenses or to care for minor children, and that can work to lessen the family's burden. Additionally, this money can be helpful for expenses you don't think of like getting new funeral clothing, the repast after the funeral, etc. If the deceased's spouse is on a fixed income, such as social security or disability, having extra cash might be appreciated. Your donation can be helpful for expenses they might not even have planned for or realized. Another thing to think about when deciding whether to donate cash is whether the deceased had insurance and whether the insurance will pay out. Age can be a factor since younger individuals might not have life insurance to help cover funeral costs. Additionally, insurance companies may deny benefits for deaths from suicides and overdose. In some cases, family members ask for cash donations in lieu of flowers or gifts to pay for funeral or family expenses. In these instances, you don't have to question whether you should put money in the sympathy card. If you know the family is in a difficult financial position, giving money in a sympathy card is a good idea. A family that was already struggling financially before the loss will be struggling more with funeral expenses and a loss of income. If the family is asking for donations to a specific charity or cause, you should use the financial gift for those reasons and respect their wishes. Additionally, if the family doesn't have a financial need or you're not sure if they have a need, it's best to just give a thoughtful sympathy card and gift such as flowers. If you're sending a sympathy card to a co-worker, an acquaintance, or someone you don't know very well, skip the cash unless you know the family needs it. Related: There is no hard and fast rule for how much money you should put into a sympathy card. It's important to consider how much you can afford and the need of the family. That said, there are a few guidelines to keep in mind. Start with the amount you would spend on funeral flowers, usually around $50. If you know the family has a high level of need, and you can afford it, give more. If you're very close to the family, consider giving more. When giving the gift of money in a sympathy card, it's important to include a heartfelt message for the family. This makes the gift personal, and ultimately, your words will offer at least as much comfort as the cash. Related: If you're sending cash, include it in an envelope inside your sympathy card. What you write on the condolence money envelope can be simple; it just needs to tell the recipient that they should look inside the envelope. We like, "Please accept the enclosed gift." If you're not sure exactly what to say in the message with the money, don't stress. Just write a regular, heartfelt sympathy note and add a line or two about the money near the end. Let these examples inspire you: I'm so sorry about the passing of your loved one; please accept this gift from my family to yours. We are thinking of you during this time and hope the enclosed will ease your burden just a bit. The enclosed is to help in any way you need it. Please know you are in our thoughts. I know there are many expenses and challenges during this time, so please accept the enclosed gift. Please accept this gift from my heart to yours in this time of loss. Additionally, you might just leave a personalized message telling them how sorry you are for their loss and include a check without mentioning money in the message. When writing your message, it's important not to dictate how the money should be used. Just let the family know they can use the gift to help support them in the way they need the most. Sometimes, you want to give a gift of money in a sympathy card, but you might not want the recipient to know you are the person donating. If you're giving your monetary gift anonymously, you can still include a note. Within the card, you can write a heartfelt message and include cash but not sign the card. This can alleviate any embarrassment or financial burden a family might feel. Giving the card to the family has its own etiquette challenges, but you have a few options. Generally, you'll want to try to get them the card and your gift as close to the funeral as possible. At the service - Many times, the funeral home will have an area to put cards for the family, and you can put your card in this box. Personal delivery - If the need is great and you will be seeing the family in person, you can give the cards to the family personally. Mail - When you're not local and won't be at the service, it's perfectly acceptable to drop the card in the mail. (Send a check, in this case, since it's not a good plan to mail cash.) In some cases, there may be a donation page for a family online. You can also make your donation through the site (provided it's legit) and then send a card separately. Ultimately, deciding whether you put money in a sympathy card is about the family's comfort. If you can ease their burden during this time of grief, it's perfectly appropriate to do that. It's all about knowing the family and what they need during this difficult time.
