Latest news with #firstimpressions
Forbes
19 hours ago
- Business
- Forbes
How To Make Your First Two Seconds Count
Speaker at Business Conference with Public Presentations. Audience at the conference hall. ... More Entrepreneurship club. Malcolm Gladwell spent 288 pages of his international bestseller Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking discussing what he calls 'those first two seconds' of how people make snap judgments based on first impressions—validating the maxim, 'First impressions last.' Unfortunately, what most presenters do in those first two seconds creates a negative impression. Presenters, like all human beings under stress, experience a jolt of adrenaline. Those first two seconds are stressful to even the most experienced presenters, including yours truly, even after a decades-long career as a coach. This adrenaline rush is also known as 'The Fight or Flight Reaction,' a series of innate involuntary physical responses that enable an organism to manage stress. One of those responses is for the eyes to scan the immediate area for signs of danger. In prehistoric terms, the eyes are driven to become hyperalert to a potential attack by saber-toothed tiger. In a presentation, that scan is perceived by any audience as shifty-eyed. Would you or anyone do business with someone you perceive as shifty-eyed? This prejudicial judgement is imprinted in all human beings at birth. A team of British and Italian scientists conducted a study of newborns that concluded, 'human infants prefer to look at faces that engage them in mutual gaze and that, from an early age, healthy babies show enhanced neural processing of direct gaze. The exceptionally early sensitivity to mutual gaze demonstrated in these studies is arguably the major foundation for the later development of social skills.' The conventional solution is to make eye contact. An additional convention is to make eye contact with everyone in the audience, all of which results in rapid scanning. However, scanning is the opposite of eye contact. But those first two seconds are also known as the 'throat clearing moment,' and most presenters use that moment to start with an amenable welcoming statement. 'Good afternoon. Thank you for taking the time to…' and then go on to cite the event. You can use this moment to let your eyes do what your adrenaline is driving them to do, scan the room. No one can possibly view that behavior as shifty-eyed because as William Shakespeare had Hamlet say, you will have 'Suit(ed) the action to the words, the word to the action.' That sweeping action accompanying your gracious words will appear appropriate and courteous to your audience. By making that involuntary scan purposeful, you will no longer appear furtive. Once you've scanned the room, your Fight or Flight system will be satisfied that you are aware of the escape routes and will diminish the need to scan. That's when you can begin to make eye contact, but now you can do so with one person at a time. Analogously, the U.S. Army understands the natural inclination of the eyes to scan an environment. In a manual on night firing, a challenge for vision, they recommend that, before focusing on a target, a soldier should scan 'from right to left or from left to right using a slow, regular scanning movement' because it 'enables soldiers to overcome many of the physiological limitations of their eyes and reduce the visual illusions that so often confuse them.'
The Guardian
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
Blind date: ‘He saw his Instagram handle in my phone's search history. I'm not a stalker, promise'
What were you hoping for? My parents met on a blind date and I thought it would be a bit of fun. First impressions? Friendly and funny, if a bit younger than I'd usually go for. What did you talk about? Our summer plans, the festivals we're going to. We both love film, so we exchanged our Letterboxd top four. Most awkward moment? When he put his Instagram handle in my phone it popped up that I'd searched for him. I'm not a stalker, Matt, promise. Good table manners? It's quite hard to eat Sri Lankan food with grace, but he did his best. Best thing about Matthew? It was nice to see the energy of someone moving to the city for the first time. Blind date is Saturday's dating column: every week, two strangers are paired up for dinner and drinks, and then spill the beans to us, answering a set of questions. This runs, with a photograph we take of each dater before the date, in Saturday magazine (in the UK) and online at every Saturday. It's been running since 2009 – you can read all about how we put it together questions will I be asked?We ask about age, location, occupation, hobbies, interests and the type of person you are looking to meet. If you do not think these questions cover everything you would like to know, tell us what's on your mind. Can I choose who I match with?No, it's a blind date! But we do ask you a bit about your interests, preferences, etc – the more you tell us, the better the match is likely to be. Can I pick the photograph?No, but don't worry: we'll choose the nicest ones. What personal details will appear?Your first name, job and age. How should I answer?Honestly but respectfully. Be mindful of how it will read to your date, and that Blind date reaches a large audience, in print and online. Will I see the other person's answers?No. We may edit yours and theirs for a range of reasons, including length, and we may ask you for more details. Will you find me The One?We'll try! Marriage! Babies! Can I do it in my home town?Only if it's in the UK. Many of our applicants live in London, but we would love to hear from people living elsewhere. How to applyEmail Would you introduce Matthew to your friends? Yeah, for sure! Describe Matthew in three words Fun, friendly, chill. What do you think he made of you? We had a good vibe going. Did you go on somewhere? We went to a pub and discussed how to pronounce the beer … did you kiss? There's just something in a Jubel that makes me want to kiss someone, so yes. If you could change one thing about the evening what would it be? I think I'm looking for someone who's in a slightly different phase of life. Marks out of 10? 9. Would you meet again? I'm sure we'll bump into each other on a night out in London. What were you hoping for? When do you actually get the chance to go on a proper blind date? I had very little expectation; I was just looking to have a laugh. First impressions? Great hair and moustache, and I liked what he was wearing. What did you talk about? Music, the different places in London he's lived, where I should live next, our favourite pubs in the city. And how the beer Jubel is pronounced, which included asking several strangers and watching a couple of YouTube videos. Most awkward moment? Probably that he had to help me finish my pint at the end. Good table manners? Definitely. We shared every dish. Best thing about Edward? He has a very laid-back and fun energy; very easy to get along with. Would you introduce Edward to your friends? I'd just come from a friend's birthday drinks. I did consider messaging them to see if we could rejoin them. Describe Edward in three words Intelligent, funny, well-dressed. What do you think he made of you? I hope I wasn't talking his ear off; we had a good laugh. Did you go on somewhere? After all that talk about the best pubs in the city, he showed me one of his favourites. And … did you kiss? Would've been rude not to. If you could change one thing about the evening what would it be? Maybe the weather: walking across the city in 31-degree heat meant I had to freshen up when I got to the restaurant. Marks out of 10? 9. Would you meet again? I'm sure I'll bump into him somewhere soon. Edward and Matthew ate at Kolamba East, London E1. Fancy a blind date? Email
The Guardian
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
Blind date: ‘He saw his Instagram handle in my phone's search history. I'm not a stalker, promise'
What were you hoping for? My parents met on a blind date and I thought it would be a bit of fun. First impressions? Friendly and funny, if a bit younger than I'd usually go for. What did you talk about? Our summer plans, the festivals we're going to. We both love film, so we exchanged our Letterboxd top four. Most awkward moment? When he put his Instagram handle in my phone it popped up that I'd searched for him. I'm not a stalker, Matt, promise. Good table manners? It's quite hard to eat Sri Lankan food with grace, but he did his best. Best thing about Matthew? It was nice to see the energy of someone moving to the city for the first time. Blind date is Saturday's dating column: every week, two strangers are paired up for dinner and drinks, and then spill the beans to us, answering a set of questions. This runs, with a photograph we take of each dater before the date, in Saturday magazine (in the UK) and online at every Saturday. It's been running since 2009 – you can read all about how we put it together questions will I be asked?We ask about age, location, occupation, hobbies, interests and the type of person you are looking to meet. If you do not think these questions cover everything you would like to know, tell us what's on your mind. Can I choose who I match with?No, it's a blind date! But we do ask you a bit about your interests, preferences, etc – the more you tell us, the better the match is likely to be. Can I pick the photograph?No, but don't worry: we'll choose the nicest ones. What personal details will appear?Your first name, job and age. How should I answer?Honestly but respectfully. Be mindful of how it will read to your date, and that Blind date reaches a large audience, in print and online. Will I see the other person's answers?No. We may edit yours and theirs for a range of reasons, including length, and we may ask you for more details. Will you find me The One?We'll try! Marriage! Babies! Can I do it in my home town?Only if it's in the UK. Many of our applicants live in London, but we would love to hear from people living elsewhere. How to applyEmail Would you introduce Matthew to your friends? Yeah, for sure! Describe Matthew in three words Fun, friendly, chill. What do you think he made of you? We had a good vibe going. Did you go on somewhere? We went to a pub and discussed how to pronounce the beer … did you kiss? There's just something in a Jubel that makes me want to kiss someone, so yes. If you could change one thing about the evening what would it be? I think I'm looking for someone who's in a slightly different phase of life. Marks out of 10? 9. Would you meet again? I'm sure we'll bump into each other on a night out in London. What were you hoping for? When do you actually get the chance to go on a proper blind date? I had very little expectation; I was just looking to have a laugh. First impressions? Great hair and moustache, and I liked what he was wearing. What did you talk about? Music, the different places in London he's lived, where I should live next, our favourite pubs in the city. And how the beer Jubel is pronounced, which included asking several strangers and watching a couple of YouTube videos. Most awkward moment? Probably that he had to help me finish my pint at the end. Good table manners? Definitely. We shared every dish. Best thing about Edward? He has a very laid-back and fun energy; very easy to get along with. Would you introduce Edward to your friends? I'd just come from a friend's birthday drinks. I did consider messaging them to see if we could rejoin them. Describe Edward in three words Intelligent, funny, well-dressed. What do you think he made of you? I hope I wasn't talking his ear off; we had a good laugh. Did you go on somewhere? After all that talk about the best pubs in the city, he showed me one of his favourites. And … did you kiss? Would've been rude not to. If you could change one thing about the evening what would it be? Maybe the weather: walking across the city in 31-degree heat meant I had to freshen up when I got to the restaurant. Marks out of 10? 9. Would you meet again? I'm sure I'll bump into him somewhere soon. Edward and Matthew ate at Kolamba East, London E1. Fancy a blind date? Email
The Guardian
12-07-2025
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
Blind date: ‘I took a bathroom break and when I returned she had already asked for the bill'
What were you hoping for? An interesting and sparky guy who had similar tastes and interests, and a sense of fun. First impressions? A bit nervous, like me, and as we'd both got lost finding the place, we chatted about that initially. What did you talk about? Working in the time of Covid. Changing careers and moving into more creative roles. We even touched on whether there are extraterrestrial beings visiting us … and agreed this is highly likely! I learned a lot about Michael. Most awkward moment? I didn't think to introduce myself and Michael had to ask me my name at the end of the date! Good table manners? We shared our plates as expected, so yes. Best thing about Michael? He's open and honest, told me a lot about himself and seemed trusting. Blind date is Saturday's dating column: every week, two strangers are paired up for dinner and drinks, and then spill the beans to us, answering a set of questions. This runs, with a photograph we take of each dater before the date, in Saturday magazine (in the UK) and online at every Saturday. It's been running since 2009 – you can read all about how we put it together questions will I be asked?We ask about age, location, occupation, hobbies, interests and the type of person you are looking to meet. If you do not think these questions cover everything you would like to know, tell us what's on your mind. Can I choose who I match with?No, it's a blind date! But we do ask you a bit about your interests, preferences, etc – the more you tell us, the better the match is likely to be. Can I pick the photograph?No, but don't worry: we'll choose the nicest ones. What personal details will appear?Your first name, job and age. How should I answer?Honestly but respectfully. Be mindful of how it will read to your date, and that Blind date reaches a large audience, in print and online. Will I see the other person's answers?No. We may edit yours and theirs for a range of reasons, including length, and we may ask you for more details. Will you find me The One?We'll try! Marriage! Babies! Can I do it in my home town?Only if it's in the UK. Many of our applicants live in London, but we would love to hear from people living elsewhere. How to applyEmail Would you introduce Michael to your friends? If it was the right situation, but this seems unlikely. Describe Michael in three words Low-key, calm and real. What do you think Michael made of you? That I'm a Londoner who talks a lot. Did you go on somewhere? No, it was chilly so we got the bill and headed to the station. And … did you kiss? On a first date? Never! If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be? I'd have been wrapped up in a cosy jacket and felt warmer, or we'd have sparked off each other to keep warm. Marks out of 10? 6. Would you meet again? No, we didn't have the necessary electricity between us. What were you hoping for? A flirty, fun, lighthearted evening. First impressions? Something about her reminded me of an old flame – I was instantly attracted. What did you talk about? She set out her Extinction Rebellion stall. I subjected her to a rambling assessment of the current UFO narrative and the possibility of NHI (non-human intelligence). Most awkward moment? I took a bathroom break. When I returned Becky had already asked for the bill, thwarting my plans for cheesecake. She had spotted some travel issues so wanted to get going. Good table manners? Ladylike and assured. Best thing about Becky? She is attractive, with a sureness that permeates everything she says and does. Would you introduce Becky to your friends? Definitely. Describe Becky in three words Assured. Petite. Mysterious. What do you think Becky made of you? I was a nervous wreck to start, so she probably thought I was all over the place. Did you go on somewhere? To Waterloo … turns out I had a one‑way ticket. And … did you kiss? A hug goodbye at the ticket barriers. If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be? I'd remember how to flirt and she would have stayed for dessert and had ice-cream, à la Meg Ryan. Marks out of 10? 8. Would you meet again? I asked for her number but she declined. She didn't think we had a connection. Michael and Rebecca ate at Parrillan King's Cross, London a blind date? Email
The Guardian
12-07-2025
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
Blind date: ‘I took a bathroom break and when I returned she had already asked for the bill'
What were you hoping for? An interesting and sparky guy who had similar tastes and interests, and a sense of fun. First impressions? A bit nervous, like me, and as we'd both got lost finding the place, we chatted about that initially. What did you talk about? Working in the time of Covid. Changing careers and moving into more creative roles. We even touched on whether there are extraterrestrial beings visiting us … and agreed this is highly likely! I learned a lot about Michael. Most awkward moment? I didn't think to introduce myself and Michael had to ask me my name at the end of the date! Good table manners? We shared our plates as expected, so yes. Best thing about Michael? He's open and honest, told me a lot about himself and seemed trusting. Blind date is Saturday's dating column: every week, two strangers are paired up for dinner and drinks, and then spill the beans to us, answering a set of questions. This runs, with a photograph we take of each dater before the date, in Saturday magazine (in the UK) and online at every Saturday. It's been running since 2009 – you can read all about how we put it together questions will I be asked?We ask about age, location, occupation, hobbies, interests and the type of person you are looking to meet. If you do not think these questions cover everything you would like to know, tell us what's on your mind. Can I choose who I match with?No, it's a blind date! But we do ask you a bit about your interests, preferences, etc – the more you tell us, the better the match is likely to be. Can I pick the photograph?No, but don't worry: we'll choose the nicest ones. What personal details will appear?Your first name, job and age. How should I answer?Honestly but respectfully. Be mindful of how it will read to your date, and that Blind date reaches a large audience, in print and online. Will I see the other person's answers?No. We may edit yours and theirs for a range of reasons, including length, and we may ask you for more details. Will you find me The One?We'll try! Marriage! Babies! Can I do it in my home town?Only if it's in the UK. Many of our applicants live in London, but we would love to hear from people living elsewhere. How to applyEmail Would you introduce Michael to your friends? If it was the right situation, but this seems unlikely. Describe Michael in three words Low-key, calm and real. What do you think Michael made of you? That I'm a Londoner who talks a lot. Did you go on somewhere? No, it was chilly so we got the bill and headed to the station. And … did you kiss? On a first date? Never! If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be? I'd have been wrapped up in a cosy jacket and felt warmer, or we'd have sparked off each other to keep warm. Marks out of 10? 6. Would you meet again? No, we didn't have the necessary electricity between us. What were you hoping for? A flirty, fun, lighthearted evening. First impressions? Something about her reminded me of an old flame – I was instantly attracted. What did you talk about? She set out her Extinction Rebellion stall. I subjected her to a rambling assessment of the current UFO narrative and the possibility of NHI (non-human intelligence). Most awkward moment? I took a bathroom break. When I returned Becky had already asked for the bill, thwarting my plans for cheesecake. She had spotted some travel issues so wanted to get going. Good table manners? Ladylike and assured. Best thing about Becky? She is attractive, with a sureness that permeates everything she says and does. Would you introduce Becky to your friends? Definitely. Describe Becky in three words Assured. Petite. Mysterious. What do you think Becky made of you? I was a nervous wreck to start, so she probably thought I was all over the place. Did you go on somewhere? To Waterloo … turns out I had a one‑way ticket. And … did you kiss? A hug goodbye at the ticket barriers. If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be? I'd remember how to flirt and she would have stayed for dessert and had ice-cream, à la Meg Ryan. Marks out of 10? 8. Would you meet again? I asked for her number but she declined. She didn't think we had a connection. Michael and Rebecca ate at Parrillan King's Cross, London a blind date? Email
