Latest news with #ghosting
The Guardian
8 hours ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
What's worse than being ghosted? Dating a ‘submariner'
Name: Submarining. Age: The first contraption that could really be called a submarine was built by a Dutchman, Cornelis Drebbel, in 1620 for King James I, and tested on the Thames. So submarining began in the early 17th century? The old meaning of submarining did. There's a new meaning of submarining? Hello? Is this past notes? No! It's pass notes. Up to the minute, on trend, breaking news. Of course there's a new meaning. Is it to do with Keir Starmer's warfare state and the nuclear deterrent? Nope. Is it about dating? It's usually about dating. It's about dating. Toxic dating. But it's not floodlighting? I remember that one – the oversharing of personal trauma in order to speed up intimacy. Correct. Nor is it throning … Dating on the loo? Dating someone for their social status. Ew. Go on then, what is this new submarining about? You know when you're dating someone and they suddenly disappear, without telling you why? Er, hello? Old news! I know that one, everyone does – that's ghosting! Wait, there's more. With submarining, they come back again after a period of time and act as if nothing happened. According to Vice, it may actually be worse than ghosting. I see: they resurface. And why do they do that? Not for air, I'm guessing. Often out of insecurity and boredom, Gigi Engle, a sex coach and author, told Men's Health when the term emerged. Still, it's nice that they returned. It's all back on! Hmm, maybe not. 'It's pretty unlikely that it's because this person actually cares about you,' said Engle. 'It's more likely that they want someone to talk to and make them feel good about themselves.' Sounds like submariners should be avoided. Indeed. They 'often crave intimacy but are terrified of the vulnerability it requires', Wendy Walsh, a psychology professor, told PureWow. 'A submariner wants to put somebody on the back burner so they can reach out to them later when they feel lonely.' Nobody puts baby on the back burner! And thanks for the warning – that's now a big red flag. Or, you might say, a nuclear deterrent. You might. So what is the best way to deal with submariners? Back to Engle, who says: 'If someone is actually into you, they don't disappear out of nowhere.' Got it. Ghost the submariners? Correct. Apart from Sean Connery in The Hunt for Red October. Do say: 'Yeah, long time no speak … Tonight? No, sorry, I'm busy … for ever.' Don't say: 'Periscope up.'
Forbes
5 days ago
- Business
- Forbes
Tired Of Getting Ghosted By Companies? Pay Attention To These Red Flags.
Here's why you keep getting ghosted even when you're qualified for the role. You were this close. You were already preparing your resignation letter in your head. You saw their smiles during the job interview and were sure you blew them away. You even sent the perfect follow-up message, thanks to ChatGPT. And, nothing. No update. No rejection. Just silence. After spending hours tweaking your resume and prepping for interviews, it's frustrating when your effort is met with silence. The unfortunate truth is that ghosting has become far too common in today's job market. But, some companies are more likely to give you the silent treatment than others, and knowing how to spot the red flags early can save you unnecessary misery and stress. Here are a few subtle signs to watch for before and during the interview process so you can avoid wasting time on the wrong opportunities for you. While it might be tempting to apply for a role that reads like a great fit, the job description isn't the only thing you should pay attention to before you apply. You should also consider when the role was posted. Long-standing or recycled job postings can indicate indecision, slow internal processes, or a lack of urgency to hire. In some cases, it could also mean they're keeping the role open until the "perfect unicorn" shows up, which might reveal that the company is unclear on what they need or unrealistic about who they need to solve their challenges. This can set the bar high for even the most qualified candidates. Even if you choose to apply anyway, proceed with caution. You could go through the entire hiring process only to realize they were just getting to know you, not planning to hire you or anyone for that matter. If you're excited by the idea of joining a startup or building something new from the ground up, it's important to understand what you're walking into before you apply. Whether it's an early-stage company or a brand-new team within a larger organization, if they lack infrastructure or have a lean team, their hiring process could be informal, inconsistent, or fast-moving. And more importantly, it could mean their priorities, budgets, and timelines can change overnight. This is how you could walk away from an interview feeling confident, with detailed insights about their initiatives, only to hear nothing afterward. Not to mention, sometimes, things can move so quickly that a company can choose to go with another candidate and forget to follow up, even if they never intended to leave you hanging. It doesn't mean you shouldn't pursue these opportunities, but be aware that if the company or team is fairly new, lacks systems or stability—or if the team is stretched thin, communication can easily fall through the cracks. If the job description is broad, vague, or reads like a mix of three different roles, this is a subtle red flag that you might be in for an emotional rollercoaster. Vague job descriptions signal that the company hasn't taken the time to determine what they specifically need from their next hire. It could also mean they're trying to merge multiple roles into one, which can make the hiring process taxing and difficult for both the company and the candidates. That's why it's worth reading job descriptions carefully before hitting submit on your application. If the job description feels confusing or overwhelming, the hiring process might be too, and ghosting becomes more likely when companies aren't crystal clear on what they're looking for in the role. Compliments are nice in interviews, but they aren't reliable indicators that you're going to be hired for the role, or that you'll even hear from them again. There are other things to pay attention to besides their smiles and praise. For instance, can they thoroughly answer questions about what success looks like in the role, who you'll report to, and what challenges the team is currently facing? Do they say things like, 'We'll be in touch,' without offering clear next steps? Have interviews been rescheduled, canceled, or tacked on at the last minute? These are often signs that the company is unorganized, unclear on its hiring process, or not fully aligned internally. And, unfortunately, the more chaotic the interview process is, the more comfortable they may be disappearing without a word. The reality is, you can be completely qualified for a role and still not hear back from a company. There are so many factors that go into hiring a candidate, and sometimes, they have nothing to do with you. Even the best companies sometimes need more time than originally anticipated to share updates or move the process forward. Patience is key in today's job market, but you can safeguard your time and energy by spotting these red flags sooner. Vet companies just as thoroughly as they vet you. It's one of the smartest ways to land the right opportunity for you. Adunola Adeshola coaches high-achievers on how to take their careers to the next level and secure new jobs they love without applying 24/7, starting over or settling for less. Grab her guide on how to land job offers.
Daily Mail
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
EXCLUSIVE 'I cancelled lunch and we never spoke again': Extraordinary reasons why so many 40-plus women are breaking up with their best friends - and yes, it CAN be worse than divorce
When Louanne Ward's childhood friend of 30 years ghosted her, she had no idea why. The pair had been close since they were 14. They had travelled together, worked together and Hannah* had been maid of honour at Louanne's wedding.
The Independent
23-05-2025
- Health
- The Independent
Study reveals psychological impact of ghosting and gaslighting
Being ghosted or gaslit may trigger depression and paranoia among young people, a study has revealed. Ghosting is the act of cutting off all contact, while gaslighting is a term used when someone is made to question their perception of reality. The psychological effects and mental health toll of these actions in romantic relationships have now been studied by researchers at the University of Brighton and the University of Coimbra in Portugal. Researchers surveyed 544 adults aged 18 to 40 in the UK, to explore how these subtle but damaging behaviours - such as suddenly cutting off all contact, manipulating someone to question their own reality, or attempting to control a partner's routine - are connected to mental health issues like depression and paranoid thinking. 'The digital age has provided enormous opportunity for social connections but also comes with some risks. Ghosting, in particular, is almost exclusively enacted in online settings,' Professor Rusi Jaspal, co-author and Pro-Vice-Chancellor at the University of Brighton, said. 'As the use of social media and dating apps grows, so too does the risk of encountering harmful behaviours like ghosting, which our research links to poorer mental health outcomes.' The survey revealed there are clear links between these behaviours and poor mental health. Researchers found ghosting and coercive control were both linked to increased feelings of paranoia. Similarly, gaslighting was linked to symptoms of depression. Study authors accounted for people's age, income and personality traits like how sensitive they are to rejection and uncertainty - two traits researchers explain are also associated with poor mental health. Younger people and those with lower incomes were particularly at risk of experiencing poor mental health as a result of gaslighting or ghosting. Researchers suggested this added to the growing concern that dating app culture may be contributing to a mental health crisis. The study highlights how romantic relationships, even those that do not involve physical violence, can still affect mental wellbeing. Study authors concluded there is a need for effective psychological interventions that support victims of abusive relationship behaviours to cope with the 'distress' associated with gaslighting and ghosting. They hope that this could 'prevent the onset of depression and paranoid ideation'. Researchers suggested cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) could help individuals manage the distress associated with experiences like ghosting or gaslighting, by building resilience, self-esteem and coping strategies.
CBC
23-05-2025
- CBC
Winnipeg man sues former partner over $5M winning lottery ticket
A lawyer for a man who says his former girlfriend "ghosted" him after claiming a $5-million prize on a lottery ticket he bought will be in a Winnipeg court Friday, asking a judge for an order to prevent the woman from giving away any of her money or selling other assets. Lawrence Campbell's lawsuit says he bought the winning 6/49 ticket at a convenience store on Isabel Street in Winnipeg the day before the draw and handed it to his then girlfriend, Krystal McKay, who is named as a defendant in the lawsuit, because he had recently lost his wallet. She claimed the multimillion-dollar prize in the Jan. 20, 2024, draw, though Campbell alleges he alone purchased the ticket, and as its sole owner, "is entitled to restitution in the full amount" of $5 million, according to his lawsuit. "No one in all of history has simultaneously been a jackpot winner and jackpot loser of the same draw, with the same numbers, on the same ticket," said Campbell's lawyer, Chad Panting, in a statement to CBC News on behalf of his client. Campbell was "in a loyal, committed and promising romantic partnership" with McKay at the time, and shared many things with her, including a home and family, says the statement of claim filed May 14 in Court of King's Bench at Winnipeg. The day after the lottery draw, Campbell scanned the ticket using the Lotto 6/49 cellphone app and discovered it was a winner. Plaintiff denies ticket was birthday gift The next day, and again on Jan. 30, 2024, Campbell and McKay went to the office of Western Canada Lottery Corporation, the non-profit corporation that manages various lotteries for several provincial and territorial governments, including Lotto 6/49. According to the lawsuit, an agent at WCLC led Campbell to believe that because he didn't have valid-government issued ID, he "would be ineligible and unable to claim the winnings," and said he should allow McKay to publicly claim the winnings. McKay then deposited the $5 million into her bank account, "as she was the only named winner on the ticket" and Campbell didn't have an active bank account, the court document says. Campbell trusted McKay with the lottery ticket and gave her permission to claim herself the winner of his ticket "on the understanding that she would hold the winnings, in trust, for his benefit," the claim alleges, until he got a valid government issued photo ID and set up adequate banking arrangements. A Jan. 30, 2024, news release issued by Western Canada Lottery Corporation and Manitoba Liquor & Lotteries announcing the win said that McKay received the lottery ticket as a birthday gift from her partner. In his statement of claim, Campbell denies that the ticket was purchased "solely as a birthday gift" for McKay. Following the lottery win, the couple were staying in a hotel room after the lottery win, but one night, McKay did not return, the suit claims. He searched places where she was known to go and party, and "after some investigation, he found her, in bed, with another guy," the lawsuit says. McKay later said she wanted to end her relationship with Campbell "to be with this new guy," according to the lawsuit. She then "used the resulting conflict between them as a pretext to effectively deprive the plaintiff from access to his rightful monies," the lawsuit alleges. It says McKay "ghosted" Campbell, refusing to take his calls and blocking him on her social media accounts, and even took out a protection order against him. CBC was unable to reach McKay for comment. Lottery corporation, Crown corporation sued The lawsuit also names the Western Canada Lottery Corporation as a defendant, saying Campbell "relied on ill-gotten and negligent advice from the defendant WCLC agents to permit … [McKay] to claim the money as the sole winner, and unlawfully keep the lotto monies all to herself." The lawsuit also names Manitoba Liquor & Lotteries Corporation, the Crown corporation responsible for gaming in the province, as a defendant. Neither responded to a request for comment. The allegations in the lawsuit have not been tested in court and the defendants have not filed statements of defence. A motion before the court on Friday seeks an order to restrain McKay from selling or gifting anything of value, including money, investments, vehicles or real estate. "We understand how unbelievable parts of his story are, believe us," said the statement from Panting, the lawyer representing Campbell. "Mr. Campbell did not personally feel very good, as he slowly realized that the trust he had with all three defendants was misplaced and violated," the statement said.
