Latest news with #helper
Independent Singapore
2 days ago
- Independent Singapore
Elderly woman who pinched & hurt her helper with a nail clipper charged with abuse
SINGAPORE: A 68-year-old woman who injured a domestic helper she employed was charged with maid abuse earlier this week. Lim Lay Choo is expected to plead guilty on Sept 24. According to court documents, the incident when Lim injured her helper occurred on Jan 4 at her Housing & Development Board flat in Bukit Batok. The older woman was said to have pinched the forearm of the helper. Afterwards, she allegedly poked the arm with a pair of scissors and then 'clipped' the arm with a nail clipper. Lim's actions left an abrasion, a bruise, and seven scratch marks on the helper's right arm. If she is found guilty of the charge against her, she could be jailed for as long as six years, be slapped with a fine of as much as S$10,000, or both. The name of the helper, as well as her age and country of origin, has not yet been identified in news reports. See also Emotional abuse of maids in Singapore — New report Under Singapore law, there are enhanced penalties for the abuse and ill-treatment of domestic helpers. 'We take allegations of abuse and ill-treatment of an FDW seriously, especially if they concern physical or sexual abuse,' the website of the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) reads . 'Complaints of abuse are investigated by the police. If convicted, employers will face severe penalties under the law. They and their spouses will also be permanently banned from employing another FDW.' More information regarding the enhanced penalties for offences against domestic workers may be found here . The most severe case of maid abuse in Singapore in recent years was that of 24-year-old Myanmarese domestic helper, Piang Ngaih Don, who was abused and tortured to death by her employer. In June 2021, 40-year-old Gaiyaithiri Murugayan, the wife of a police officer, was sentenced to 30 years' jail by the High Court. However, due to her mental disorders, including major depressive disorder, the murder charge that Gaiyaithiri had originally been charged with was reduced to culpable homicide not amounting to murder. The Singaporean woman began physically assaulting Ms Piang in October 2015. The court heard that Gaiyathiri physically assaulted Ms Piang almost daily over the next 10 months and treated her inhumanely, such as forcing her to shower and relieve herself with the toilet door open. Almost every day, Gaiyathiri rained blows and kicks on Ms Piang, pulled her from the ground by the hair, burned her with a heated iron, choked her, or hit her with objects like a plastic bottle or a metal ladle. Gaiyathiri also starved Ms Piang until she grew emaciated. Ms Piang, who would be forced to eat sliced bread soaked in water, cold food straight from the refrigerator, or just some rice at night, lost 38 per cent of her body weight and weighed just 24 kilograms at the time of her death. /TISG Read also: Maid who pinched and slapped 1-year-old who interrupted her sleep said this is how she raised her own children
Independent Singapore
3 days ago
- General
- Independent Singapore
‘She uses it while cooking': Employer says her helper refuses to follow instructions regarding phone use
SINGAPORE: Frustrated that her helper refuses to follow her instructions regarding phone use, a local employer took to social media to ask netizens for advice. In a post in the 'MDW in Singapore' Facebook group, the employer said, 'My helper has been using her phone as and when, chatting. I've told her to use it only during night rest time, [but] she has plenty of reasons.' 'She starts [using her phone] from 7:15 a.m., the minute my kids leave for school, and also uses it while cooking [or doing other chores], etc.' Unsure of what boundaries are reasonable, the employer asked the community whether the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) has any guidelines on phone use for domestic helpers. 'She's a human, not a programmable robot.' Unfortunately, instead of getting the advice she was looking for, the employer was met with plenty of criticism. Many netizens questioned why she was being so strict about her helper's phone use. 'This might not be what you want to hear, but why are you asking about MOM's guideline on phone usage? She's a human, not a programmable robot,' one comment read. 'As long as it doesn't interfere with her work or cause harm to the family or surroundings, maybe you can practice a bit of empathy.' Another said, 'If your company restricted you from using your phone to check on your family, friends, or your husband while you're at work, how would you feel?' Several domestic helpers also chimed in, sharing stories from their own experiences. 'I used to have that kind of employer who only lets me use my hand phone after work,' one helper wrote. 'I couldn't even talk to my son because he was already asleep by the time I finished. It really affected my mental health.' Another commented, 'I've experienced this kind of employer. I could only use my mobile during break time and bedtime. I did my job well, and I took care [of] her children well, but I felt lonely and unhappy.' They added, 'We want some freedom too. Keeping away the hand phone just makes us more triggered to use it! Better let us use and carry it. So that when [we] have an emergency, we can respond immediately.' Still, amid all the backlash, there were a handful of commenters who took the employer's side. One told her, 'Do set boundaries for phone usage. More phone usage means more unnecessary things you will eventually be faced with. You tell her off, or else you terminate her service and let her enjoy talking face-to-face in their home country.' Talk to your helper about phone use If your helper uses her phone while doing chores, Ms K Jayaprema, President of the Association of Employment Agencies (Singapore), recommends calmly explaining why some tasks need her full attention. For example, when she is cooking, a distraction could cause burns or fires. When caring for children or elderly family members, even a brief lapse in focus could lead to accidents. And when giving medication, a small mistake in dosage or timing could have serious consequences. By focusing the discussion on safety rather than control, you can help her understand that your concerns come from care for her well-being and the safety of the household. Read also: 'Female HENRYs, would you date down?' — Woman in her 30s wonders if other high-earning women would lower financial expectations for love
Independent Singapore
6 days ago
- General
- Independent Singapore
'Our maid raised me, now she needs my help, and I don't know where to start' — Redditor asks how he could help former helper
SINGAPORE: For nearly two decades, she was more than just a domestic helper. She was a steady presence, a caretaker, a cook, and a confidante. She raised three children in a household that often treated her poorly. She helped care for an elderly grandmother in her final years. When she left to return to Indonesia eight years ago, she took with her both fond memories and unspoken pain. Now, she wants to come back to Singapore. One of the children she helped raise is trying to return the kindness she once received, despite lingering guilt from years past. A quiet hero in a difficult home A Reddit user, whose name is withheld, shared his story in a heartfelt post that resonated with many. 'My family used to have this helper for about 18 years,' the post begins. 'She was really great, taking care of my siblings and me, and for some years, also my late grandma.' However, not all memories are positive. The poster acknowledged deep regrets over how his mother treated the helper, which damaged his relationship with his parent. 'I've always felt guilty because my mother treated her terribly,' he wrote. 'I had many heated arguments with my mother over her treatment, and we don't have a good relationship now, to say the least.' Notwithstanding the passage of years, the closeness between the former helper and the original poster stayed strong. They have kept in touch, and sporadically, the poster sends money to help—a symbol of gratefulness and perhaps an act of contrition. A humble request and a second chance Recently, the helper reached out with a hopeful request: She wants to return to Singapore to work again. 'She expressed that she'd like to try working in Singapore again as a helper and asked if I could help her,' the post read. 'But I don't know how to help her or where to look.' What followed was an outpouring of advice and support from fellow Redditors. The community steps in Suggestions arrived quickly and warmly. 'Talk to maid agencies, but make sure they don't cheat her,' one commenter advised, citing the harsh reality that many helpers fall victim to fraudulent go-betweens. Others saw opportunities beyond traditional domestic work. 'Maybe you can help sponsor her to take courses so she can come to Singapore and work as a hospice care nurse,' one Redditor suggested. 'This pays better than being a domestic helper.' Another highlighted the helper's unique strengths—a rare skill set that includes fluency in Chinese and some Hokkien, along with excellent cooking and eldercare experience. 'Her skills in Chinese, working with the elderly, and cooking would likely be in demand. Let me know the agency she signs with—I might be looking for someone for my grandma.' One netizen even expressed direct interest: 'Can you DM me? We're looking for a second helper. 40s is okay for us as long as she has good character and attributes.' From redemption to action The responses were more than just helpful; they showed how many families in Singapore are actively looking for compassionate, experienced domestic helpers, especially those who can bridge language and cultural gaps. One commenter offered practical advice: 'Your best bet is to ask around your social circles. If she speaks Chinese, many expat families would love a helper who can practice with their kids. You can also post on mom group sites.' More than a job—a legacy In a way, the poster's journey to help his former helper return to Singapore is about more than just logistics. It's about redemption. It's about someone trying to correct past wrongs. It's about giving back to someone who gave so much, and it's about providing an unsung hero—who once helped raise a family and comfort the dying—with the dignity and opportunity she deserves. Whether through an agency, personal connections, or a new career path in eldercare, the journey ahead may not be easy, but it's clear the former domestic helper won't be walking it alone.
Independent Singapore
30-07-2025
- General
- Independent Singapore
Maid says, 'Employers who take our phones away affect us deeply, as it's the only way we stay connected to our loved ones back home'
'I want to speak up for many of us who stay silent,' the post began, polite but firm. 'We may be domestic workers, but we are also human beings — with feelings, families, dreams, and the same need for respect and dignity as anyone else.' At the heart of the post was a simple plea: 'Limiting our phone use or taking our phones away affects us deeply.' For many helpers, their phones aren't just devices — they're their only connection to the families they left behind in search of better lives. 'It gives us peace and comfort to simply talk to our families or have a moment for ourselves,' she wrote. 'Trust and respect should be the foundation between employer and helper.' And yet — as the comments section quickly revealed — trust, in this case, is a battlefield. 'When trust is given, it's burned, literally!' One employer recounted a TikTok-fuelled disaster of flaming proportions. 'She would keep sleeping even while cooking,' the group member wrote. 'Burnt the food, burnt the pan, and even the backsplash. I had to change the whole kitchen backsplash!' The employer had also tried to be generous: 'Raised her salary from S$650 to S$900 in 3 months. Gave her freedom. What did I get in return? TikTok live till 5 am and sneaking out for prostitution.' Another employer's comment sounded more like the plot of a hidden camera sitcom — only it wasn't funny. 'I went to the toilet to pee, taking off my pants, and there it was — my helper doing a group video call in the toilet. Camera facing me. A whole group of helpers saw me half-naked.' The phone was promptly confiscated. 'You tell me — how to trust?' 'Phone use during working hours is dangerous, especially when it involves babies or the elderly…' One employer gently chimed in: 'We understand the need to stay connected to family. But excessive or distracted phone use during working hours is dangerous, especially when it involves babies or the elderly.' Another employer echoed the point: 'We don't ban phones. We just ask for them to be used during breaks, not while the baby's bathing or when cooking.' Still, not everyone was in the mood for diplomacy. 'Aiya. Don't come and BS! What 'trust' la?' one employer snapped. 'One hand feeding baby, one hand doing video call? How to trust?' 'Even in an office, there are rules. When you're paid to do a job, TikTok isn't part of the job scope…' The debate boiled down to one question: Is limiting phone use a necessary rule or a dehumanising punishment? A helper who commented in support of the original post said, 'I listen to YouTube and chat with family while working. I use Bluetooth, so no distractions. I still do my chores.' Another added, 'I fetch the kids to school. I don't bring my phone. I'm not addicted. Not all helpers abuse phone usage.' But employers weren't buying the 'not all helpers' defence. 'You want trust/freedom? Earn it!' one said. 'Even in an office, there are rules. When you're paid to do a job, TikTok isn't part of the job scope.' One employer even cited the TikTok app itself as Exhibit A: 'Go on TikTok Live. Out of 20 streams, 17 are helpers. Majority, not minority.' 'Yes, there are bad apples, but there are many responsible helpers too…' Buried under the angry exchanges and bad experiences was a quiet, thoughtful comment from a long-time employer: 'I've never imposed strict rules. My helper uses her phone during lunch and at night. If she abuses it, we'll talk. It's about balance.' Another said, 'Yes, there are bad apples, but there are many responsible helpers too. Let's not forget, some of us also had to work hard to gain our bosses' trust. Helpers deserve the same opportunity.' And perhaps that's the point. Respect and trust go both ways. No one is entitled to it, but everyone can earn it. 'A voice for all helpers…' 'Please be kind. Please lead with empathy. A little freedom means so much to us. No hate, just love,' the original post writer wrote out her final plea. While employers are clearly not looking to be extras in TikTok skits or surprise cameos in toilet video calls, maybe there's room for nuance: a phone-free kitchen, sure — but with a phone-available heart. Because sometimes, all someone needs after a hard day's work… is just to hear their child's or family's voice. In other news, one helper took the conversation a step further, flipping the narrative with this question: 'Dear employer, how do you just lie on the sofa every day holding your mobile phone? Do you realise that servants are also human and feel tired?' Fair play or double standards? You decide. Read the full story over here: Maid asks, 'Dear employer, how do you just lie on the sofa every day holding your mobile phone? Do you realize that servants are also human and feel tired?'
Independent Singapore
29-07-2025
- General
- Independent Singapore
Maid says, ‘I get irritated when my male employer wears just boxers around me; he should wear proper sleeping clothes or shorts instead'
SINGAPORE: In a refreshingly candid and hilariously uncomfortable post in the domestic helper community, one brave helper has spoken up about something many probably suffer in silence — the dangling discomfort of male bosses in boxers. 'Dear employer, I don't know if I'm the only one who has experienced this,' she began, hinting that the following confession wasn't for the faint of heart. She then dropped the bomb: 'My boss is a man and has one child. Every morning I wake them up. I get irritated when I turn on the light because my boss doesn't even wear proper shorts.' That sounds tolerable—until it wasn't. 'He always wears boxers, and I can see his private parts.' Apparently, this is not a one-time peekaboo incident. According to the post, the male employer has made a casual habit of lounging around the house in his boxers — no modesty, no coverage, and no care in the world. The helper continues, 'Sometimes he sits in the living room with his legs raised, and his private parts are out.' Cue the collective cringe. The maid ended her plea with an earnest suggestion to fellow employers: 'I just want to remind our madams here that you should make your husband wear proper shorts.' The response from the Facebook group… well, let's just say it was a mix of solidarity and comic relief. The post was flooded with 'Haha' reactions, with expressions echoing agreement. However, underneath the laughter lies a real issue: basic decency in shared domestic spaces. Helpers — mostly women — live under the same roof as their employers, and while they may be there for work, they still deserve a respectful and dignified environment. Walking around the house dressed as if you're in a men's locker room does not create a healthy professional setting for anyone. The post has sparked a broader, if still whispered, conversation: Should there be guidelines for employers on home attire, especially when domestic workers live in the same space? While there are clear Ministry of Manpower (MOM) regulations regarding wages, rest days, and accommodations, we could not find an official dress code for employers who employ a domestic helper in their homes, so perhaps it's time we at least had an unspoken rule: 'If you wouldn't wear it in front of your in-laws, don't wear it in front of your helper.' It's worth noting that the helper wasn't being malicious or trying to shame her employer. Her tone remained respectful, albeit clearly frustrated. Her post struck a chord because it highlighted a reality that many might be too embarrassed to talk about, but clearly deal with in silence. In a culture where modesty and respect often go hand in hand, this helper's plea was more than a humorous rant. It was a call for common sense, decency, and a little effort to create a less awkward, more professional home environment. So, to all the madams reading this: you may want to add 'proper shorts for your husband' to your next NTUC grocery list. Because no one should have to start their workday with someone else's anatomy as their morning greeting.
