Latest news with #highcostofliving
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Business
- Yahoo
I bought my mother-in-law a condo — and she took out a $30,000 car loan. Now she refuses to get a roommate.
I have a complicated money issue. About 3 years ago, my mother-in-law was widowed and she subsequently was evicted from her rental home that she could no longer afford. Even though her late husband made a six-figure income for 30 years, they had no savings and routinely filed for bankruptcy (every 7 years) due to her being irresponsible with credit. To save her from being homeless after the eviction, my husband and I let my mother-in-law move in with us for 6 months, but it quickly became an untenable situation as my husband and his mother do not get along. So we purchased a condo in a high-cost-of-living area and have been allowing her to live in it rent-free since 2022. I bought my mother-in-law a condo — and she took out a $30,000 car loan. Now she refuses to get a roommate. I have $1,000 in credit-card debt. Will I be able to hide my inheritance from the bank? 'He failed in his fiduciary duty': My brother liquidated our mother's 401(k) for her nursing home. He claimed the rest. 'The situation is extreme': I'm 65 and leaving my estate to only one grandchild. Can the others contest my will? My new husband gave me a contract and told me to 'sign here' — but I refused. It was the best decision of my life. We've previously asked her to contribute $500 a month to cover the HOA, but she always comes up with excuses as to why she can't pay. We've suggested that she get a roommate so she's not out any money. Again, more excuses and she refuses to change. Our total payment for the condo is $2,800 a month. While we can technically afford it, I am resentful that she doesn't pay her fair share. She has received a small inheritance, an annuity and also receives Social Security so she's not penniless. We are a double-income household, but I really want to quit my job to be a stay-at-home mom as I have 3 young kids. If I do that, we can't afford to pay for the condo. Please help me with some advice on this seemingly impossible situation. I don't want to make my mother-in-law homeless, but I don't want to light myself on fire to keep someone else warm either as she refuses to contribute towards the roof over her head. Also, she recently filed for bankruptcy again and promptly 'bought' a $30,000 used car on 25% interest. Please help. I am at my wits end and I think about this daily. Wife & Daughter-in-Law Related: 'He gave me a week to get out': My son and I bought a house — now I'm homeless and living in a car. Can I sue him? It's time for her to meet you halfway. There's a world of options in between a $2,800 condo and homelessness, but the only way you are going to open that world up for your mother-in-law is to start toughening up and making it clear that the former option is no longer available. You have young children, and a retirement to plan for and while this condo will increase in value, you need to start reining in your expenses. If your mother-in-law can afford to buy a $30,000 car, she can afford to show more financial independence. My first question is how did she get a loan for $30,000 in the first place, if she has declared bankruptcy and does not have a job? Even with her annuity and Social Security, there is something fishy going on here, and she is either lying to the bank or lying to you. It's time for a reality check: no more free housing. Perhaps if you present the alternative options, she will be more agreeable to stay, but give her a timeframe to make up her mind. The AARP Foundation has a local assistance directory for local programs, the eldercare locator to connect with local services, livable communities and senior-living house. You could also open a joint checking account for your mother-in-law to automatically deposit $500 every month after she receives her Social Security, and you could pay the HOA from that account. Alternatively, she could set up a standing order to pay you. That might nudge her towards more accountability, although her spendthrift habits will be difficult to break. As I told this woman, who was frustrated with a friend who couldn't hold down a job and went on vacation using her credit card, the desire to spend money and escape 'reality' could be related to an underlying depressive disorder or anxiety. Your mother-in-law may have mental-health problems that go deeper than her unwillingness or inability to pay her way. That said, if she sold the car and lived near public transportation, she would have enough money to put a deposit on a rental. It's time to get tough. She is not calling the shots, if you are paying the bills: It's a roommate or eviction. The backdrop is grim for senior living, and your mother-in-law needs to know she has a family that is prepared to support her, within reason. Senior living is, experts say, experiencing a shortage. 'At the current rate of development, the U.S. will add only 191,000 units by 2030,' says NIC MAP, a data service. 'We need 560,000 new units to keep up with demand. This leaves a gap of nearly 370,000 units, which is a shortfall that could leave thousands of seniors without access to quality senior housing.' Last year, the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) announced $115 million in grant funding to support the development and improvement of rental housing for low-income seniors. This is a national problem as an increasing number of people over 50 don't believe they'll be able to remain in their home into retirement. You can read more here. Lay out the options for her and make clear the status quo is untenable. Don't miss: 'He gave me a week to get out': My son and I bought a house — now I'm homeless and living in a car. Can I sue him? Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell: 'I wish Dad were here': I received $500,000 after my late father's wrongful-death lawsuit. My adviser suggests annuities. How do I invest it? 'They are as different as day and night': My son is upset that his brother got more financial support. Now it's payback time. What should I do? I ate noodles during law school and graduated debt-free. Now my sister needs money. Is it OK to say no? My daughter's boyfriend, a guest in my home, offered to powerwash part of my house — then demanded money 'I'm not wildly wealthy, but I've done well': I'm 79 and have $3 million in assets. Should I set up 529 plans for my grandkids? How do I make sure my son-in-law doesn't get his hands on my daughter's inheritance? Circle's stock is having another big day. What the blockbuster IPO has meant for other cryptocurrency plays. 'I was pushed out of her life when she was 18': My estranged daughter, 29, misuses drugs. Should I leave her my Roth IRA?
RNZ News
21-05-2025
- Entertainment
- RNZ News
Homelessness told through the eyes of a wāhine Māori
Teiti Nepia says her five-months outdoors was a form of art activism, peacefully resisting the 'high cost of living and unsustainable market rents'. Photo: Supplied A last resort turned into a social experiment then an art project, and is now a short documentary called HOME - where a well-travelled wāhine Māori proves that home is what you make of it. Teiti Nepia has lived many lives as a chef - including directly under Uluru in Outback Australia or in Brooklyn, Wellington - but she still struggled to find a forever home. Her entire immediate whānau moved across the ditch and Nepia tagged along, but after her mother's passing and 10 years in Ahitereiria, she felt the need to leave. When the wāhine born in the late 60s returned to where she first moved to in the 90s - Island Bay - she lived with a friend until she found a long-term place to stay. "After a few months of trying to look, I just couldn't find something I could afford," Nepia said. She had attended interviews for flats and house sharing, but the people who had advertised rooms were 30-years younger than Nepia. "Although I'd make a pretty cool flat auntie, I don't think they want to live with their auntie, it wasn't really appropriate." Teiti Nepia on the beach. Photo: Supplied / Facebook Viable flatting options were slim, so she looked into one-bedroom studio spaces, but the weekly rent prices were too high. "Even though I could have afforded $400 a week, it would have taken out at least 60 plus percent of my hard-earned wage, my income, and it didn't sit right with me." For the summer of 23/24, Nepia took her trailer-hitched e-bike to various locations between Princess Bay and Ōwhiro Bay in Pōneke and set up camp while documenting her journey with a young camera crew. From public spaces to beaches to people's gardens, Nepia would hunker down in each spot for a night or three beneath the stars. Reading the cosmos was something she had learnt while living in the Outback in her swag. And since her Mum passed away, she finds solace in looking at the stars. Although she was already 'good at camping,' her five-months outdoors was a form of art activism, peacefully resisting the 'high cost of living and unsustainable market rents.' Although Nepia is well-travelled and a 'good camper,' she still made sure she was allowed to stay on public and private grounds before doing so. Photo: supplied / Teiti Nepia According to the 2023 Census, an estimated 112,496 people - or 2.3 percent of the census - usually resident population were homeless/severe housing deprivation. Census data revealed there were more homeless women than men, with more than 57,000 women without a home. Meanwhile, a study by Ihi Research has also found that four out of five homeless women in Aotearoa were Māori, with some being as young as 15-years-old. "You can see with your own eyes, the situation." But Nepia's short documentary called HOME puts a different spin on homelessness. Instead, she shows people how to respect the land while being homeless, and how to do it without leaving a trace. Nepia said homelessness is not just about those sleeping on the streets in the CBD, but it is those who are freedom camping and the people living in their cars. "What happened to me was that I had this sort of 'activism' ignited in me, because I was so upset with the state of my country and more particularly, the state of my generation. "My generation was a generation where our parents were Māori, our parents were urbanised, and so my parents were encouraged to move away from where they had come from." Nepia's mum was from Ruatoria and her Dad was from Nūhaka. Both were native te reo Māori speakers, but when Nepia's parents moved away from the east coast, the language and connection to the whenua were lost, she said. The bike Nepia travels on Photo: supplied / Teiti Nepia Nepia is already planning her next documentary, and without spoiling it, she aims to follow the same kaupapa of camping freely outdoors, understanding other people's view on market rents and the cost of living while reconnecting with her parents' whenua - but she wants others to join her. "The premise is to come around aunty and help take Aunty T home." Since November, Nepia has been living in a social housing precinct developed by Kāinga Ora called Te Ō. "I feel so lucky to have got a forever home." HOME by Teiti Nepia will have its world premiere at the Doc Edge film festival , which begins next month. The film is automatically eligible for the Best New Zealand Short category. The winner of this category will receive an Oscar consideration for 2026. Sign up for Ngā Pitopito Kōrero, a daily newsletter curated by our editors and delivered straight to your inbox every weekday.
