Latest news with #independence
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Business
- Yahoo
How Taylor Won
It happened — Taylor owns everything. All her songs, all her masters, her life's work. She won. Eight years after her label Big Machine sold off her catalog, Taylor Swift has finally achieved her goal of buying it back herself. The most impossible battle of her career, the most invincible dragon she's ever picked a fight with, the most doomed leap she's ever taken. As she announced in her bombshell public statement on May 30, she bought her catalog from Shamrock Capital, after a six-year struggle for control over her own music. 'The memories,' she wrote. 'The magic. The madness. Every single era. My entire life's work.' It can't be overstated what a victory this is for her, or the ramifications for other artists. This is the independence that generations of musicians have fantasized about, but never gotten close to seeing. 'Long Live' hits different today. 'New Romantics' hits different today. 'Ours' hits different, so does 'Dear John,' 'All Too Well,' 'I Did Something Bad,' and damn, don't even start about 'A Place in This World.' 'It's Time to Go.' All those songs feel bigger right now. It's one of those 'remember this moment' occasions. The patriarchy is having an extremely fucked day. Taylor won. How did this happen? More from Rolling Stone 'I Couldn't Stop Crying': Swifties React as Taylor Swift Reveals She Finally Owns Her Music Taylor Swift Got Her Old Albums Back, But Her Re-Records Were Still a Massive Success Taylor Swift's Vinyl Records Are on Sale After Revealing She Now Owns All of Her Music 'I'm trying to gather my thoughts into something coherent,' Taylor wrote in her bombshell public statement. 'But right now my mind is just a slideshow. A flashback sequence of all the times I daydreamed about, wished for, and pined away for a chance to get to tell you this news. All the times I was this close, reaching for it, only for it to fall through. I almost stopped thinking it could happen, after 20 years of having the carrot dangled and then yanked away. But that's all in the past now. I've been bursting into tears of joy at random intervals ever since I found that this is really happening. I really get to say these words: 'All of the music I've ever made…now belongs…to me.' Taylor's battle was always much bigger than her. She's taking on the whole issue of artists controlling their own work. When Big Machine boss Scott Borchetta sold her masters to her arch-enemy Scooter Braun in 2019, she wrote, 'He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn't want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever.' Six years later, she owns herself. Taylor was fighting for a kind of artistic freedom that her heroes never had, from Prince to Joni Mitchell. They never got to own their music, which was why Prince wrote 'Slave' on his face and renounced his name. Even Paul McCartney, the most successful musician ever, had to suck it up, after the Beatles publisher Dick James sold off the Lennon-McCartney song catalog in 1969, while both John and Paul were out of the country. (John was actually on his honeymoon.) Macca lived with this disappointment for decades, and being Macca, he didn't keep quiet about it. But still, he got up there every night and sang 'Hey Jude,' and had to pay for the right to sing it. But Taylor, still only 35, has won control of her work in a way that never seemed possible for artists, even the biggest ones. It's an unprecedented victory—you have to wish Prince had lived to see this day. As she wrote, 'To say this is my greatest dream come true is actually being pretty reserved about it.' As she wrote, 'To say this is my greatest dream come true is actually being pretty reserved about it.' It seemed like a crazy battle for her to carry on — a guaranteed failure, a waste of her time. Yet as she said three years ago at the Tribeca Film Festival, in one of her all-time greatest quotes, 'People often greatly underestimate how much I will inconvenience myself to prove a point.' Her fight began in 2019 when she announced that Borchetta had sold her masters to Braun. 'This is my worst case scenario,' Swift said. Braun was not just any music-biz mogul; he was a man who had seriously bad blood with Swift. (For one thing, he was the manager of a famous male rapper who was bizarrely obsessed with her — can't remember his name right now but he's the guy who just released the summer jam 'Heil Hitler.') For Borchetta to sell her off to Braun was seen as gamesmanship, especially since both men openly strutted about the deal. To the general public, it looked like they were going out of their way to make her mad, and it's safe to say they succeeded. Talk about a 'be careful what you wish for' situation. But when she raged about it, the industry response was basically: You're on your own, kid. Sorry, but that's the music business. Welcome to the big leagues. Unfair or not, that's how it works. All your old-school heroes, they all had to shut up and live with this, so what makes you special? This is the business we've chosen, remember? There was a bit of bemusement that she was taking this so personally. It was just proof that she was an emotional girl who didn't have a head for business and didn't get how things worked in the grown-up world. 'For years I asked, pleaded for a chance to own my work,' Taylor wrote at the time. 'When I left my masters in Scott's hands, I made peace with the fact that eventually he would sell them. Never in my worst nightmares did I imagine the buyer would be Scooter.' But big deal — Scooter was just playing the game. As Bloomberg reported, 'All along it's been clear she was using personal animus towards him to make a few larger points about the music business.' Maybe she had some valid points about artists' rights. But as Bloomberg sniffed, 'Swift was never the ideal messenger.' She lashed back in 2019 by announcing plans to re-record all six of her albums, in new versions that she would own. Every single person in the music industry — every last one of them — assumed she was bluffing. She wasn't. Since the Taylor's Version project became a blockbuster, nobody wants to admit now they thought it was a dumb idea, just as nobody wants to admit they booed Dylan at the Newport Folk Festival. It only looks like a brilliant move in hindsight, especially since it led to the Eras Tour phenomenon. But there was no precedent for any artist attempting this, much less getting away with it. Everybody thought it was crazy, even if they were rooting for her. Anyone who tells you different is a liar (and pathetic, and alone in life). Controlling her own music was obviously a silly thing to even talk about — just a childish fantasy. It was another one of those doomed quests that Taylor has always kept taking on — like her fight with Apple Music over artists' rights, or her legal fight against the male DJ who groped her at a concert. (Combat, she's ready for combat.) She'll pick the battles that seem crazy, or beneath her, and turn them into major victories. Other artists were stunned she had the nerve to try Taylor's Version. SZA called it 'the biggest 'fuck you' to the establishment I've ever seen in my life, and I deeply applaud that shit.' But it was the fight of her life, and she won. As Taylor wrote today, 'All I've ever wanted was the opportunity to work hard enough to be able to one day purchase my music outright with no strings attached, no partnership, with full autonomy.' Today is that day, and it's a major victory for artists. Her statement has so many ramifications for her fans. For one thing, we can now listen to the old version of 'Holy Ground' with a clear conscience, since sorry, but the Red (Taylor's Version) mix blew it with the rhythm track. (Try it again, Taylor—hell, you own it now. Take all the do-overs you want.) Taylor also announced that she has barely begun work on Reputation TV. This can only mean she's about to drop Reputation TV. 'Full transparency: I haven't even re-recorded a quarter of it,' she wrote. 'To be perfectly honest, it's the one album in those first six that I thought couldn't be improved upon by redoing it. Not the music, or photos, or videos. So I kept putting it off. There will be a time (if you're into the idea) for the unreleased vault tracks from that album to hatch.' As for 'full transparency,' yeah well — this is the artist who posted 'Not a lot going on at the moment' the day she wrote 'Cardigan.' We all know better than to trust her. She loves to deceive, to mislead, to disrupt. She's fooled us before; she will never NOT fool us. Don't be surprised if we get Rep TV this weekend. Taylor also spelled 'thiiiiiiiiiiiis close' with the letter 'i' 12 times, which may or may not be a hint about TS12, just like water may or may not be wet. She added that her debut album has been totally re-recorded. 'I really love how it sounds now,' Taylor said, which probably means she's adjusted the accent a tiny bit. 'Those two albums can still have their moments to re-emerge when the time is right, if that would be something you guys would still be excited about.' Oh, the modesty. Yes, people will be slightly excited. The audience has been fiending for Debutation TV for way too long, the last two missing pieces of the Taylor's Version puzzle. She made headlines this week by not announcing these albums at the American Music Awards (or even showing up). 'But if it happens,' she wrote, 'It won't be a place of sadness and longing for what I wish I could have. It will just be a celebration now.' Today is a celebration for sure, and it's a celebration Taylor Swift has earned. Nobody thought this victory was possible. She had the time of her life fighting this dragon—even though nobody thought the dragon could lose. But she won. She did something bad, and it feels so good. Long live. Best of Rolling Stone The 50 Greatest Eminem Songs All 274 of Taylor Swift's Songs, Ranked The 500 Greatest Albums of All Time
Yahoo
7 hours ago
- General
- Yahoo
Gen Z heads home: How to navigate the evolving parent-child relationship as kids become adults
As a professor of child development and family science, every year I witness college students heading home for the holidays after a few months of relative independence. Anecdotally, most students express excitement about returning home and say they're looking forward to relaxing with family and friends. However, it also can present a challenge for parents and their grown children. Parents may wonder: 'What should I expect of my child when they return home after living away?' Adult children may be thinking: 'I'm an adult, but I'm in my parents' home. Do I need to ask permission to go out? Do I have a curfew?' The adult child's return home, even for a few days or weeks, may produce some stress for both generations. But, the parent-child relationship is always evolving, including negotiating – and renegotiating – power and control as children age. In fact, families have been preparing for these new role changes for years. Think about when children enter middle school. They spend less time under their parents' direct supervision. Parents must begin to find ways to stay connected with their children while encouraging independence. The challenge is the same with young adults, only their interests and the appropriate level of independence has changed. Generally speaking, the parent-child relationship is relatively stable over time. And the good news is that most people navigate this transition successfully. Understanding a bit more about what developmental and family scientists know about this time of life might help ease the path forward. Many countries and societies consider you an adult once you turn 18. However, neuroscience research reveals that parts of the brain that are crucial for adult skills such as planning ahead, decision-making and controlling impulses do not finish developing until the mid- or late 20s. So, from a psychological perspective, the onset of adulthood is not universal and not determined by a specific age. In 2000, psychologists introduced the concept of a period of development that spans ages 18 to 25: emerging adulthood. It's a kind of in-between period, when people say they don't feel fully adult. It's important to note that this developmental period is not something that everyone experiences. It's most common in Western or industrialized countries, though there is research on the experiences of emerging adults in other cultures. This period of exploration and experimentation, however, is a luxury not available to all, with adolescents from lower socioeconomic backgrounds reaching milestones of adulthood such as financial independence or parenthood earlier than those from more affluent backgrounds. But this life stage has become increasingly common in the 21st century, partly due to societal changes that give young adults more opportunities to explore identity and focus on themselves. For instance, the availability of birth control made sex without marriage more feasible for young adults. Many people take time before full-time work to pursue higher education. Today's young adults can experiment with ideas and opportunities that weren't available to them during adolescence. You can probably imagine why emerging adult children and their parents might butt heads when under the same roof. The two generations' differing opinions and ideals can set up conflict, especially when the child feels like an adult but the parent still sees them as a child. If parents can keep in mind that these young adult offspring are still navigating a distinct developmental phase, it may help them be supportive during this stage. When children leave the nest, the parent-child relationship goes through a period of adjustment. This is typical and, importantly, a necessary part of becoming an adult. There's likely to be a bit of trial and error for both the parent and the child as they figure out how to establish new ways of connecting and relating. But this isn't the first time in a child's life that a developmental transition has triggered the need for renegotiating the parent-child relationship. During adolescence, parents begin to provide their children with more freedom to make independent decisions; this requires parent and child to make adjustments in how they interact and relate to one another. Psychology researchers point to several qualities of healthy parent-adult child relationships. Parents need to get comfortable with a low level of control over what their grown kids do. Parents can expect to know less about their adult child's whereabouts when out for an evening and whom their adult child spends time with, something that parents monitor during adolescence. Maintaining a warm dynamic and encouraging independence are also key. Together, these attributes help parents promote success in their adult children, helping them grow into mentally healthy and well-adjusted members of society. These tweaks in approach may initially be uncomfortable for parents. But with a little effort, they can successfully make this transition. It helps if they've maintained a good relationship with their kid all along. Psychologists typically define effective parenting during emerging adulthood as a relationship characterized by providing warm emotional support; supporting the child in making their own decisions; and refraining from using guilt to change a child's beliefs. 1. Be flexible and don't compare. Every family is different, and each will navigate adult children returning home in unique ways. Likewise, there may be a need to adjust – and readjust – expectations and rules. Be comfortable with tweaking things to best suit your family. 2. Prepare by connecting. Discuss expectations from both generations before or shortly after the adult child returns home. Being proactive with communication will provide opportunities to connect and find common ground. 3. Establish boundaries and guardrails. Parents should communicate house rules for their adult children, and adult children should state their preferred boundaries. These guardrails should be developmentally appropriate and based on mutual respect. 4. Adjust expectations as needed. Parents should keep in mind that their child is in transition to adulthood. They should expect behavior that reflects having one foot in adolescence and the other in adulthood. Warm, supportive parenting continues to be a good influence on development through the emerging adulthood years. Therefore, it is not surprising that emerging adults continue to seek guidance from their parents. Most parents and adult children find their new, more egalitarian relationship lets them connect in new, more mature ways. This article is republished from The Conversation, a nonprofit, independent news organization bringing you facts and trustworthy analysis to help you make sense of our complex world. It was written by: Amy Root, West Virginia University Read more: Life's stages are changing – we need new terms and new ideas to describe how adults develop and grow Yes, more and more young adults are living with their parents – but is that necessarily bad? How parents can play a key role in the prevention and treatment of teen mental health problems Amy Root receives funding from National Institute of Child, Health, and Human Development.
Times
a day ago
- Business
- Times
Macron calls on Europe and Asia to ‘unite against bullies'
President Macron has called on the countries in Europe and Asia to build a 'new coalition of independence' united in refusing to choose between the United States and China. In a rebuke seemingly directed as much to President Trump as President Xi, Macron issued a 'call to action' to reject coercion, greed, bullying and 'negative passions', warning that a failure to resolve crises in Ukraine and Gaza would be 'a killer for our credibility' of the rich countries of the world. 'The main risk today is the risk of division of the world, and a division between the two superpowers, and the instruction given to all the others: 'You have to choose your side,'' he said at the Shangri-La Dialogue, a gathering of defence ministers and experts in Singapore. 'If we do so, we will kill the global order, and we will destroy methodically all the institutions we created after the Second World War in order to preserve peace.' Macron said that the war in Ukraine had direct implications for east Asia, and that a victory for President Putin would embolden Xi to take military action against Taiwan or the islands occupied by southeast Asian countries in the South China Sea. In a clear reproach to Trump, he criticised the idea of 'equidistance between Ukraine and Russia and the [idea] that this is a European conflict and that we are … spending too much energy, too much time, and creating too much pain for the rest of the world'. He told the gathering: 'This is a total mistake, because if we consider that Russia could be allowed to take a part of the territory of Ukraine without any restriction, without any constraint, without any reaction of the global order … what could happen in Taiwan? What would you do the day something happened in the Philippines?' He added: 'What is at stake in Ukraine is our common credibility to be sure that we are still able to preserve territorial integrity and sovereignty of people.' The annual Shangri-La Dialogue, organised by the British think tank the International Institute for Strategic Studies, frequently includes exchanges of criticism between the US and Chinese defence ministers. Before Trump's re-election, leaders of western European countries could reliably have been expected to line up behind the US. It is a sign of the huge changes that have occurred in the past six months that a French president now speaks of the US and China with almost equal wariness. • Fraser Nelson: Europe may be looking to China but Britain shouldn't 'France is a friend and an ally of the United States … and we do co-operate, even if sometimes we disagree and compete, with China,' Macron said. 'We want to co-operate, but we don't want to be instructed on a daily basis what is allowed and what is not allowed, and how our lives will change because of the decision of a single person.' Macron was explicit in his wish to convene a third bloc dedicated to 'strategic autonomy', bringing together Nato governments and Asian countries as diverse as Vietnam and Indonesia, both of which he visited before his arrival in Singapore. He concluded his speech with a 'call for action for Europe and Asia to work together on a coalition of independence. A coalition of countries that won't be enrolled and won't be bullied. And finally, a coalition of countries determined not to yield to the whims of the greed of others, but to chart a peaceful way to bring balance in trouble and to affirm negative passions can be opposed.' Like Britain, France in recent years has sent military forces, including aircraft carriers, to east Asia in an assertion of the region's strategic importance. Macron said he had formerly been cautious about 'being enrolled in someone else's strategic rivalry', but that the deployment of North Korean troops to fight for Russia against Ukraine in a European war had changed the situation. He said: 'If China doesn't want Nato being involved in southeast Asia or in Asia, they should prevent clearly [North Korea from being] engaged on the European soil.' On Saturday morning Pete Hegseth, the US defence secretary, will speak from the same stage. China's defence minister, Dong Jun, will not attend, however, sending in his place a relatively junior admiral from China's National Defence University.
CNN
a day ago
- Health
- CNN
Parents of successful kids give support but don't micromanage
EDITOR'S NOTE: Kara Alaimo is an associate professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University. Her book 'Over the Influence: Social Media Is Toxic for Women and Girls — And How We Can Take It Back' was published in 2024 by Alcove Press. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Bluesky. When Jerry Groff's 14-year-old daughter Sarah told him she wanted to swim across a 9-mile lake one Sunday morning, he could have responded in several ways: This idea is crazy — and even dangerous. You should practice swimming more first. We already have other plans. Instead, Jerry and his son boated next to Sarah as she swam. And Jerry's wife, brother and sister-in-law drove along the lake in case Sarah needed a ride home, Susan Dominus wrote in her just-released book, 'The Family Dynamic: A Journey Into the Mystery of Sibling Success.' Sarah ended up swimming the whole lake and setting a town record that day. Today, Sarah True is a two-time Olympian and professional athlete. Her brother, Adam Groff, is a successful entrepreneur. And her sister, Lauren Groff, is an acclaimed novelist. Having parents who fostered their independence was a common theme among people who have grown up to make outsize achievements, according to Dominus, a New York Times Magazine staff writer who interviewed six families for the book. These parents 'were not afraid to let their kids fail at something that seemed really hard,' she said. 'They let their kids make their choices, even if they knew those choices would be difficult.' It's just one of the lessons parents and guardians can take from her research into raising successful kids. While the parents Dominus profiled generally supported their kids' dreams, they didn't micromanage their children's progress. 'In not one of these families were the parents overly involved in their kids' educational lives,' she said. 'They were paying attention, they were supportive, they were there.' But when they showed up for their kids' games, they didn't try to tell the coaches how to do their jobs. Instead, Dominus said, parents focused largely on providing warm, supportive homes and let people like teachers, coaches and other mentors handle the instruction and discipline of their children. In part, adults didn't 'overparent' because they themselves were busy serving as powerful examples, working hard and contributing to their communities. Generally, whether they worked outside or inside the home, they 'were in roles that they felt were meaningful,' Dominus said. While she was raising her children in Florida in the 1950s, another parent, Millicent Holifield, persuaded the state to create a nursing school for Black women. One of her children, Marilyn Holifield, chose to be one of the first students to desegregate her high school in the early '60s and went on to become a local civic leader and the first Black woman partner at a major law firm in Florida. As a Harvard Law School student, Millicent's son Bishop fought for changes to promote racial equity at the school and later convinced the state of Florida to reopen the Florida A&M University law school so more Black lawyers could be trained. Another son, Ed, became a cardiologist and public health advocate. These driven parents imparted the belief that their kids could conquer the world, too. 'There was a tremendous optimism among so many of these families,' Dominus said. 'It's one thing just to say that. But your kids know if you feel it or if you don't, and their own lives had given them reason for optimism.' That's because many of those parents had overcome difficult things 'or surprised themselves or surprised even societal expectations.' Another common theme was valuing education and being curious and open to new experiences, like travel, art and music. To have those experiences, the parents of ultra-successful siblings needed to find the right places and people. They tended to have supportive villages — literally and figuratively. 'They didn't just live in neighborhoods that offered a lot of enrichment,' Dominus said. 'They took great advantage of it.' The Holifields lived near a university in Tallahassee and made the most of it by taking their kids to local cultural events and enrolling them in art lessons, a children's theater and a journalism workshop. Other parents worked to connect their kids to successful people who could teach them skills. Ying Chen immigrated to the United States from China, worked seven days a week in her family's restaurant and wasn't fluent in English, but she cultivated relationships with accomplished local musicians she met so her children could learn to play instruments. Her son Yi became the fifth employee at Toast, a restaurant management business that went public with the biggest IPO in Boston's history. Chen's son Gang joined another notable startup, Speak, which uses AI to help people learn languages. Her daughter, Elizabeth, became a physician. And her son Devon went on to work for Amazon. Of course, we don't all need to raise CEOs or Olympic athletes. People who pour so much energy into one pursuit often have less time to invest in other aspects of their lives, Dominus found in her research for the book. 'To achieve really great things requires sacrifice — and that can be in love. It can be in quality of relationships. It can be in peace of mind, it can be in downtime, it can be in reflection,' she said. If kids set hugely ambitious goals for themselves, it's a good idea to 'remind them that there are costs associated with it.' Parents or guardians often worry about whether they're making the right decisions about things like whether to co-sleep or punish kids, but Dominus said 'these variations, it turns out, have less effect on things like personality and other kinds of outcomes than we really imagined that they do.' Instead, focus on having strong relationships with your children and, most important, Dominus said, 'don't demotivate your kid by being overly involved.' The parents Dominus profiled were the kind who didn't tell their kids they had to swim a lake but let them give it a shot when they wanted to — and were there to love and support them regardless of whether they failed or set a record. Get inspired by a weekly roundup on living well, made simple. Sign up for CNN's Life, But Better newsletter for information and tools designed to improve your well-being.
CNN
a day ago
- Health
- CNN
Parents of successful kids give support but don't micromanage
FacebookTweetLink Follow EDITOR'S NOTE: Kara Alaimo is an associate professor of communication at Fairleigh Dickinson University. Her book 'Over the Influence: Social Media Is Toxic for Women and Girls — And How We Can Take It Back' was published in 2024 by Alcove Press. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Bluesky. When Jerry Groff's 14-year-old daughter Sarah told him she wanted to swim across a 9-mile lake one Sunday morning, he could have responded in several ways: This idea is crazy — and even dangerous. You should practice swimming more first. We already have other plans. Instead, Jerry and his son boated next to Sarah as she swam. And Jerry's wife, brother and sister-in-law drove along the lake in case Sarah needed a ride home, Susan Dominus wrote in her just-released book, 'The Family Dynamic: A Journey Into the Mystery of Sibling Success.' Sarah ended up swimming the whole lake and setting a town record that day. Today, Sarah True is a two-time Olympian and professional athlete. Her brother, Adam Groff, is a successful entrepreneur. And her sister, Lauren Groff, is an acclaimed novelist. Having parents who fostered their independence was a common theme among people who have grown up to make outsize achievements, according to Dominus, a New York Times Magazine staff writer who interviewed six families for the book. These parents 'were not afraid to let their kids fail at something that seemed really hard,' she said. 'They let their kids make their choices, even if they knew those choices would be difficult.' It's just one of the lessons parents and guardians can take from her research into raising successful kids. While the parents Dominus profiled generally supported their kids' dreams, they didn't micromanage their children's progress. 'In not one of these families were the parents overly involved in their kids' educational lives,' she said. 'They were paying attention, they were supportive, they were there.' But when they showed up for their kids' games, they didn't try to tell the coaches how to do their jobs. Instead, Dominus said, parents focused largely on providing warm, supportive homes and let people like teachers, coaches and other mentors handle the instruction and discipline of their children. In part, adults didn't 'overparent' because they themselves were busy serving as powerful examples, working hard and contributing to their communities. Generally, whether they worked outside or inside the home, they 'were in roles that they felt were meaningful,' Dominus said. While she was raising her children in Florida in the 1950s, another parent, Millicent Holifield, persuaded the state to create a nursing school for Black women. One of her children, Marilyn Holifield, chose to be one of the first students to desegregate her high school in the early '60s and went on to become a local civic leader and the first Black woman partner at a major law firm in Florida. As a Harvard Law School student, Millicent's son Bishop fought for changes to promote racial equity at the school and later convinced the state of Florida to reopen the Florida A&M University law school so more Black lawyers could be trained. Another son, Ed, became a cardiologist and public health advocate. These driven parents imparted the belief that their kids could conquer the world, too. 'There was a tremendous optimism among so many of these families,' Dominus said. 'It's one thing just to say that. But your kids know if you feel it or if you don't, and their own lives had given them reason for optimism.' That's because many of those parents had overcome difficult things 'or surprised themselves or surprised even societal expectations.' Another common theme was valuing education and being curious and open to new experiences, like travel, art and music. To have those experiences, the parents of ultra-successful siblings needed to find the right places and people. They tended to have supportive villages — literally and figuratively. 'They didn't just live in neighborhoods that offered a lot of enrichment,' Dominus said. 'They took great advantage of it.' The Holifields lived near a university in Tallahassee and made the most of it by taking their kids to local cultural events and enrolling them in art lessons, a children's theater and a journalism workshop. Other parents worked to connect their kids to successful people who could teach them skills. Ying Chen immigrated to the United States from China, worked seven days a week in her family's restaurant and wasn't fluent in English, but she cultivated relationships with accomplished local musicians she met so her children could learn to play instruments. Her son Yi became the fifth employee at Toast, a restaurant management business that went public with the biggest IPO in Boston's history. Chen's son Gang joined another notable startup, Speak, which uses AI to help people learn languages. Her daughter, Elizabeth, became a physician. And her son Devon went on to work for Amazon. Of course, we don't all need to raise CEOs or Olympic athletes. People who pour so much energy into one pursuit often have less time to invest in other aspects of their lives, Dominus found in her research for the book. 'To achieve really great things requires sacrifice — and that can be in love. It can be in quality of relationships. It can be in peace of mind, it can be in downtime, it can be in reflection,' she said. If kids set hugely ambitious goals for themselves, it's a good idea to 'remind them that there are costs associated with it.' Parents or guardians often worry about whether they're making the right decisions about things like whether to co-sleep or punish kids, but Dominus said 'these variations, it turns out, have less effect on things like personality and other kinds of outcomes than we really imagined that they do.' Instead, focus on having strong relationships with your children and, most important, Dominus said, 'don't demotivate your kid by being overly involved.' The parents Dominus profiled were the kind who didn't tell their kids they had to swim a lake but let them give it a shot when they wanted to — and were there to love and support them regardless of whether they failed or set a record. Get inspired by a weekly roundup on living well, made simple. Sign up for CNN's Life, But Better newsletter for information and tools designed to improve your well-being.
