Latest news with #insecurity
Zawya
a day ago
- Politics
- Zawya
Gondokoro equation of more people living on limited land creates tensions and calls for disarmament
In Gondokoro, some 25 kilometers east of the capital Juba, locals are concerned. An influx of livestock herders has increased competition for already scarce resources, particularly land, leading to tensions among residents, internally displaced persons and the pastoralists. 'Farms and crops have been destroyed and some of our animals stolen. It is still not safe for us to return to our homes,' says Sarah Gelerino, who lives nearby, across the Nile, after having been displaced in 2022. Lina Keji, a Gondokoro resident, adds that insecurity is not the only consequence of a larger local population. 'Our healthcare facilities have suffered from a shortage of medicines for months. Transporting a sick person to Juba, or to go there to buy medication, is very expensive, which means that walking is the only option for most of us,' she says. Government efforts to make cattle keepers from elsewhere go home mean that Gondokoro is currently a somewhat less violent place than it was a couple of years ago, but some problems do persist. Local cattle owner Achirin Mayar is blunt about it. 'In the past, we ran from lions. Now we flee from humans with guns. This must stop,' he says, referring to the proliferation of small arms that worries most people living here. To prevent a breakdown of law and order, they believe the government should disarm all civilians, without exceptions. Community director John Gabriel Ladu would welcome that but thinks that more is needed. 'Local authorities must engage with the feuding parties to resolve their differences, otherwise we won't have peace in the area,' he says. According to Captain Zakariya, the South Sudan People's Defence Forces have established checkpoints in strategic locations to better protect civilians. 'We would like community leaders and traditional chiefs to encourage displaced people to return home and start farming, and we are trying to make that safe.' Despite existing tensions, Lauro Ohiyu, who serves with the United Nations Mission in South Sudan (UNMISS) and was part of the delegation that visited Gondokoro, is optimistic. 'We were encouraged to see local authorities' consistent calls for people to return home. UNMISS and the UN family are committed to working with the State Government and partners to make this a safe place for everyone, not least for those who want to go back to where they used to live.' Distributed by APO Group on behalf of United Nations Mission in South Sudan (UNMISS).
Yahoo
6 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
People Who Are Insecure But Pretending To Be Confident Often Say These Things
Ever notice that some people seem to exude confidence, but there's something about them that seems a bit off? Sometimes, what appears to be self-assuredness is just a facade covering insecurity. Whether it's a colleague, a friend, or even yourself, these phrases often hint at a deeper uncertainty. Here are 13 expressions people use when they're insecure but trying hard to appear confident. Read on to find out what they might really be saying beneath the surface. 1. "I Know What I'm Doing." When someone insists, "I know what I'm doing," it's often a defense mechanism to shield their lack of expertise. It attempts to shut down further questions or challenges, creating a barrier that wards off scrutiny. This declaration can mask their fear of being exposed as inexperienced or unsure. In reality, confident people are open to learning and acknowledge when they need guidance. According to Dr. Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist and author of "Presence," genuine confidence often involves being comfortable with vulnerability and mistakes. It's easy to misinterpret this phrase as assertiveness, especially if it's delivered with a firm tone. However, those who are truly secure in their abilities don't feel compelled to convince others repeatedly. They understand that not knowing everything is part of the journey. So next time you hear this, consider that the speaker might be covering up for a lack of certainty or expertise. A little patience and understanding can go a long way in helping them feel more at ease. 2. "I'm Not Worried What People Think." When people claim they don't care about others' opinions, it often reveals the opposite. It's an attempt to project an image of independence and emotional resilience. In reality, this statement can point to a preoccupation with how they're perceived and a desire for acceptance. Those who are genuinely unbothered by external judgments typically don't feel the need to announce it. They simply continue living their lives according to their own values and priorities. This phrase can be a protective mantra against potential criticism or rejection. By vocalizing indifference, people try to convince themselves (and others) that they're unaffected. However, the insistence on this notion may suggest that they're not as immune as they'd like to be. Understanding this can help you approach these interactions with more empathy. Encouraging open conversations about feelings and perceptions can ease the pressure to maintain a confident front. 3. "No One Can Take A Joke Anymore." The phrase "I'm just joking" is often used to mask insecurities when a comment might have hit too close to home. By framing a statement as a joke, people can test the waters without fully committing to their thoughts. It's a way to shield themselves from potential backlash or ridicule. Dr. Jennifer Aaker, a behavioral psychologist, notes that humor can be an effective tool for defusing tension but can also serve to camouflage true feelings. This dual nature of humor can make it challenging to discern genuine confidence from hidden insecurity. Although it's tempting to brush off such remarks, they can offer insight into what someone might genuinely feel. It's important to consider the context and the person's typical communication style. Are they habitually using humor as a shield? If so, this could be a sign that they're grappling with insecurities. Addressing this pattern can lead to more sincere interactions and help them drop their defenses. 4. "I'm Well-Versed In This." Declaring superiority over others can be a sign of insecurity rather than confidence. People who continuously compare themselves favorably to others might be compensating for their self-doubt. This need to elevate oneself above others often stems from a fear of inadequacy. Instead of focusing on personal growth and achievements, they measure their worth by belittling others. In contrast, genuinely confident people are more concerned with their progress than with others' perceived inferiority. This type of statement usually indicates an underlying need for validation. By presenting themselves as superior, they seek to not only convince others but themselves of their worth. Unfortunately, this attitude often alienates others and prevents genuine connections. Understanding this behavior can help you navigate interactions with more compassion. Encouraging a focus on personal strengths rather than comparisons can foster a more positive and confident outlook. 5. "I'm Fine, Better Than Ever." "I'm fine" is a classic phrase that can mask a range of emotions, typically uttered when someone feels overwhelmed but doesn't want to appear vulnerable. It's a defensive mechanism that aims to close off further inquiry. People often use it when they're not ready to confront their feelings or fear judgment or pity. However, as Brené Brown, a research professor and author, emphasizes, embracing vulnerability is key to building genuine connections and fostering inner strength. Confident people understand that acknowledging their emotions is not a sign of weakness. In contrast, repeating "I'm fine" can create emotional distance and perpetuate feelings of isolation. The next time you hear this, consider what might be left unsaid. Offering a patient ear and a safe space for honest communication can encourage a more open exchange. Encouraging vulnerability can help strengthen relationships and boost genuine self-confidence. 6. "I Don't Need Help, I Got This." Proclaiming independence with "I don't need anyone" often signals a reluctance to admit vulnerability or dependency. It's a defense mechanism to ward off possible disappointment or rejection. Truly confident people recognize the value of help and community. They understand that needing others doesn't diminish their worth; instead, it enriches their experiences. This phrase can indicate a fear of relying on someone else and the potential letdown that may follow. While appearing self-sufficient, this assertion might mask a deep-seated fear of connection. The speaker may have experienced past betrayals or disappointments that make them wary of trusting others. Breaking through this barrier requires patience and empathy. Encouraging small steps toward interdependence can gradually shift this mindset. By demonstrating that seeking assistance is a strength, you can help them embrace a more balanced view of independence. 7. "It's Not My Fault." Blaming external factors with "It's not my fault" can reveal an insecurity about taking responsibility. People use this phrase to protect themselves from potential blame or criticism. Rather than accepting accountability, they deflect it to preserve their self-image. According to Dr. Carol Dweck, a psychologist known for her work on mindset, embracing a growth mindset involves acknowledging mistakes and learning from them, which is a true sign of confidence. Genuinely confident people understand that errors are opportunities for growth. They don't shy away from ownership because they know it doesn't define their entire character. When someone frequently denies fault, it's often because they're afraid of being seen as incompetent. Encouraging a culture of learning and growth can help them shift focus from fault to improvement. It fosters an environment where taking responsibility is celebrated as a step toward personal development. 8. "I'm Too Good For This." When someone insists they're "too good" for a particular task or situation, it often reveals a fear of inadequacy rather than genuine superiority. It's a way to deflect potential failure by suggesting the task is beneath them. This attitude can mask the anxiety of not meeting expectations. In contrast, truly confident people are willing to engage with all levels of work, understanding that every experience contributes to their growth. They don't feel the need to elevate themselves by demeaning others or tasks. This phrase can hint at a reluctance to step out of one's comfort zone. It may be a preemptive strike against criticism or a fear of not excelling. By claiming superiority, they're trying to protect their ego from potential failure. Encouraging a mindset that values all experiences, regardless of perceived prestige, can help reshape this outlook. Emphasizing the learning potential in every task can help foster genuine confidence and a willingness to engage fully. 9. "I Tend To Be Right." Insisting on being always right can be a sign of insecurity masked as confidence. People who frequently make this claim may be afraid of admitting mistakes, perceiving it as a weakness. This need to be infallible can stem from a fear of losing authority or respect. Truly confident people are comfortable acknowledging their errors and learning from them. They view feedback as a tool for growth, not as a threat to their self-worth. This phrase can indicate a fragile ego that relies on being perceived as knowledgeable and correct. The insistence on being right often serves as a shield against vulnerability. Genuine confidence involves embracing doubt and the insights that come from others. Encouraging open dialogues and diverse perspectives can help dismantle this defensive stance. By framing mistakes as learning opportunities, you can promote a healthier and more confident approach to personal and professional interactions. 10. "Some People Are So Jealous." When someone accuses others of jealousy, it can signal their own insecurities. This phrase is often used to deflect criticism or negativity by suggesting that others are envious of their perceived success. It can be a way to avoid addressing genuine feedback or concerns. Truly confident people don't feel the need to project others' feelings onto them. They understand that criticism can be constructive and is not necessarily born out of envy. This defensive tactic often arises from a fear that the criticism might be valid. By attributing others' opinions to jealousy, they attempt to preserve their self-esteem. However, this approach can alienate others and prevent meaningful exchanges. Encouraging an open-minded perspective toward feedback can help them move beyond this defensive posture. Understanding that not all criticism is negative can promote a more balanced and confident approach to personal interactions. 11. "I Rarely Make A Mistake." Claiming to be mistake-free often reveals an underlying fear of failure. People who assert this are typically trying to project an image of perfection and competence. However, this mindset can prevent them from taking risks or trying new things. Confident people understand that mistakes are an inevitable part of growth and learning. They embrace them as opportunities for improvement rather than threats to their self-image. This phrase can stem from a pressure to maintain an unblemished reputation or fear of judgment. By denying their fallibility, they miss out on valuable learning experiences. Genuinely confident people don't see mistakes as diminishing their worth but rather as stepping stones to success. Encouraging a culture that celebrates learning from missteps can help shift this perspective. It supports a more resilient and adaptable mindset, fostering genuine confidence over time. 12. "I'm Not Bothered What Others Say." When someone claims, "I'm not bothered," they might be trying to convey indifference to situations that actually affect them. This phrase can be a defense mechanism against admitting vulnerability or emotional disturbance. By asserting detachment, they attempt to protect themselves from appearing sensitive or affected. Genuine confidence involves acknowledging one's feelings and dealing with them constructively. It doesn't require masking emotions to maintain a facade of strength. This statement often hides an inner turmoil or concern about a given situation. The insistence on being unperturbed can indicate a fear of being perceived as weak or overly emotional. Truly confident people recognize that emotions are natural and don't diminish their strength. Encouraging open emotional expression can help them embrace a healthier outlook. It promotes an environment where acknowledging feelings is seen as a powerful and courageous act. 13. "I'm Too Busy For This." Asserting a lack of time can be a tactic to avoid dealing with challenging or uncomfortable situations. People use this phrase to signal their importance and busyness, which can mask insecurities about their ability to handle certain issues. It's a way to avoid facing tasks that might reveal their vulnerabilities or shortcomings. Confident people prioritize effectively and allocate time for things that matter, including addressing challenges head-on. They don't need to declare how busy they are to prove their worth constantly. This phrase might indicate an underlying desire to maintain control and avoid potential failure. By claiming a lack of time, they sidestep situations that could test their abilities or reveal insecurities. Encouraging a more proactive approach to challenges can help them build genuine confidence. By focusing on effective time management and prioritizing tasks, they can address issues directly and constructively. This shift can foster a deeper sense of self-assurance and competence. Solve the daily Crossword
Associated Press
7 days ago
- Politics
- Associated Press
Gunmen kill at least 20 people in an attack in central Nigeria
ABUJA, Nigeria (AP) — At least 20 people have been killed in a gun attack on a village in central Nigeria, local authorities said Wednesday. The attack took place in the early hours of Tuesday in Tahoss, in the Riyom Local Government Area of Plateau State, state assembly member Dewan Gabriel said in a statement. Graphic videos and photographs on social media platforms showed what appeared to be corpses and burnt down houses in the aftermath of the attack. Sati Shuwa, a local elected official in charge of the area, said the assailants, armed with guns and machetes, were undeterred by the presence of security personnel as they burned down houses during the raid. No one immediately claimed responsibility for the killings, but such attacks are common in Nigeria's northern region where local herders and farmers often clash over limited access to land and water. The prolonged conflict has become deadlier in recent years, with authorities and analysts warning that more herdsmen are taking up arms. Last month, gunmen killed at least 150 people in the neighboring Benue state. 'The rising attacks in Riyom Local Government Area have become alarming, creating a state of fear and insecurity that must be addressed urgently,' Gabriel said. He acknowledged the efforts of the government and security agencies, but called for a change in tactics to tackle the situation effectively.
Yahoo
10-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
14 Signs You're In A Relationship With A Vulnerable Narcissist
Navigating relationships can be tricky, especially when you're partnered with someone who exhibits traits of a vulnerable narcissist. Unlike the grandiose type who craves admiration and attention, vulnerable narcissists often express their narcissism through insecurity and hypersensitivity. Understanding these behaviors can help you make sense of your partner's actions and decide on the best path forward. Here are 14 signs that your significant other might be a vulnerable narcissist. A vulnerable narcissist often craves constant affirmation of their worth and abilities. This can manifest in them frequently asking for your opinion on their appearance or abilities, always needing your validation to feel secure. According to Dr. Craig Malkin, a psychologist and author, this is due to their fragile self-esteem, which fluctuates based on external validation. When you notice this pattern, it's crucial to remember that their need for reassurance stems from deep-rooted insecurity rather than just seeking attention. Over time, this constant need for reassurance can become exhausting. You may find yourself walking on eggshells, always trying to say the right thing to boost their confidence. This can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment in the relationship. Understanding the root cause can help you decide how to address this behavior and communicate more effectively. Vulnerable narcissists are extremely sensitive to criticism, real or perceived. Even the slightest negative feedback can trigger a defensive or emotional response. They may interpret your constructive comments as personal attacks, leaving them feeling hurt and misunderstood. This sensitivity often leads them to avoid situations where they might face criticism or judgment. You might notice that they struggle to accept responsibility for mistakes, preferring instead to blame others or circumstances. This can make it difficult to have open discussions about issues in the relationship. It can feel like you're constantly tiptoeing around their feelings to avoid conflict. It's important to approach these conversations with empathy, but also set clear boundaries to maintain a healthy dialogue. Mood swings are a common characteristic of vulnerable narcissists, marked by rapid shifts from happiness to anger or sadness. These mood fluctuations can be triggered by seemingly minor events, making it hard to predict their emotional state. Dr. Sam Vaknin, a leading expert on narcissism, explains that these swings are often due to their unstable self-esteem and need for validation. As a partner, it can be challenging to navigate these unpredictable emotional changes. You might find yourself in a constant state of alertness, trying to gauge their mood and respond accordingly. This can create a stressful environment where you feel responsible for managing their emotions. Over time, this dynamic can lead to emotional burnout and affect your own mental health. It's crucial to prioritize your well-being and establish boundaries to ensure a balanced relationship. A vulnerable narcissist often portrays themselves as a victim to gain sympathy and attention. They might exaggerate their struggles or hardships, seeking your empathy and support. This behavior can stem from their need for reassurance and a desire to shift focus away from their shortcomings. As a partner, you might feel compelled to cater to their needs and offer constant emotional support. However, this pattern can become draining over time, as it places the emotional burden on you. You may start to feel overwhelmed by their constant need for attention and validation. It's essential to recognize this behavior for what it is and avoid getting trapped in a cycle of endless sympathy. Encourage open communication and mutual support to foster a healthier relationship dynamic. Vulnerable narcissists often struggle with empathy, making it challenging for them to connect with others' feelings. This lack of empathy can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships. Dr. Lisa Firestone, a clinical psychologist, notes that this is because their focus is often inward due to their insecurities and need for validation. As a result, they may not fully grasp the impact of their words or actions on others. You might notice that they have trouble recognizing your emotional needs or responding appropriately. This can create feelings of loneliness and frustration, as you may feel your concerns are not being heard. It's important to address this issue openly and encourage them to develop greater empathy. Consider seeking professional support if this becomes a persistent challenge in your relationship. When faced with conflict or criticism, a vulnerable narcissist may retreat into themselves. This withdrawal is often a defense mechanism to protect their fragile self-esteem. During these periods, they may become distant and unresponsive, leaving you feeling shut out. This behavior can create an emotional disconnect in the relationship, making it hard to resolve issues. As their partner, you might struggle to break through this barrier and re-establish communication. It's important to approach them with patience and understanding, while also expressing your own needs. Encourage them to express their feelings and work together to find solutions. Over time, fostering open communication can help bridge the gap and strengthen your connection. Vulnerable narcissists often experience envy towards others whom they perceive as more successful or happier. This envy can translate into resentment, which may manifest in passive-aggressive behavior or subtle put-downs. Research by Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist, highlights that this envy stems from their deep-seated insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. As a partner, you might observe this envy affecting their interactions with friends or family. Their resentment can also spill over into your relationship, creating conflict and tension. You may find yourself caught in the crossfire, unsure how to navigate their complex emotions. It's crucial to recognize these behaviors and address them constructively. Encourage them to focus on their own strengths and achievements while also fostering open discussions about their feelings. A vulnerable narcissist may frequently express self-doubt and insecurity about their abilities or appearance. This excessive self-consciousness often drives their need for reassurance and validation. They may constantly compare themselves to others, fearing they fall short in some way. As their partner, you may feel the pressure to boost their confidence and alleviate their insecurities. However, this dynamic can become exhausting, as it places the onus on you to manage their self-esteem. It's important to recognize that their insecurities stem from internal struggles. Encourage them to engage in self-reflection and personal growth to build their confidence. Setting boundaries around their need for reassurance can also help create a healthier relationship balance. Vulnerable narcissists often rely heavily on others to fulfill their emotional needs and sense of happiness. This over-reliance can create an unhealthy dynamic where they depend on you for validation and support. As their partner, you might feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of maintaining their happiness. This can lead to feelings of pressure and resentment over time. It's crucial to recognize that their happiness should not solely depend on your actions. Encourage them to explore their interests and passions, fostering a sense of independence and self-satisfaction. By promoting a balanced relationship, you can create a healthier dynamic where both partners share equal responsibility for their well-being. This can lead to a more fulfilling and sustainable partnership. A vulnerable narcissist may struggle to respect personal boundaries in a relationship. Their need for constant reassurance and validation can make it challenging for them to recognize and honor your limits. They might become upset or frustrated when you assert your boundaries, perceiving it as a personal rejection. This can create tension and conflict in the relationship, as you may feel your space and independence are being encroached upon. As their partner, it's essential to communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively. Encourage open discussions about each other's needs and expectations. By fostering mutual respect and understanding, you can help them recognize the importance of boundaries in a healthy relationship. This can lead to a more balanced and harmonious partnership. Vulnerable narcissists often read too much into neutral actions or comments, perceiving them as threats or insults. This tendency can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict in the relationship. They might react defensively or emotionally to situations where no offense was intended. As their partner, you may find yourself constantly reassuring them to prevent misinterpretations. This behavior can create a tense atmosphere where you feel the need to carefully choose your words and actions. It's important to address this issue by encouraging open communication and clarification. Help them understand the importance of context and intent in interactions. By fostering a more trusting and understanding environment, you can reduce the likelihood of misinterpretations. Vulnerable narcissists often oscillate between idealizing and devaluing their partners. This cycle can be confusing and emotionally draining, as their perceptions of you shift rapidly. Initially, they might place you on a pedestal, viewing you as flawless and perfect. However, when their unrealistic expectations are not met, they may quickly devalue you, focusing on perceived flaws and shortcomings. As their partner, you might feel caught in a rollercoaster of emotions, unsure of where you stand. It's crucial to recognize this pattern and address it constructively. Encourage them to adopt a more balanced and realistic view of relationships. By promoting mutual respect and understanding, you can help them build a healthier and more stable connection. A vulnerable narcissist may exhibit a strong desire to control aspects of the relationship. This control can manifest in various ways, such as decision-making or dictating how you spend your time. Their need for control often stems from insecurities and a desire to feel secure and validated. As their partner, you may feel restricted or suffocated by their controlling behavior. It's important to address this desire for control by asserting your independence and autonomy. Encourage discussions about shared decision-making and mutual respect. By promoting a more balanced dynamic, you can help them recognize the value of collaboration and compromise. This can lead to a more equitable and satisfying partnership. Vulnerable narcissists often harbor an intense fear of rejection, making them overly cautious in relationships. This fear can drive them to seek constant reassurance and validation, as they worry about being abandoned or unloved. As a partner, you might notice their heightened sensitivity to any signs of withdrawal or distance. This can create an environment where you feel pressured to constantly prove your commitment. Understanding their fear of rejection is key to addressing this behavior constructively. Encourage open communication and reassurance, while also setting boundaries to maintain a healthy dynamic. By fostering trust and security, you can help them overcome their fears and build a more stable and fulfilling relationship.
WebMD
07-07-2025
- Health
- WebMD
When Your Children Begin to Get Embarrassed About Their Eczema
One of the greatest things about kids is their total and unconditional acceptance of anyone they meet. They don't care if they're fat, skinny, short, tall, young, old, or anything else. They treat everyone exactly the same way. It's incredible. They just have so much love. Making friends is the easiest thing in the world to them because everyone they meet is a friend. Unfortunately, that childlike innocence doesn't last forever. Eventually, they grow up and things change. It happens to the best of us: We start to notice differences, begin to compare, and let negative emotions like jealousy and insecurity into our lives. And when you're dealing with skin imperfections like eczema, it can make everything harder. Those insecurities multiply, and before you know it, that little girl who used to think warts and rashes were cool and would show them to everyone is now hiding her skin, afraid of being mocked for the patches of eczema that cover it. So what do you say when this happens to your child? What do you say when they tell you they're being teased about their skin and it makes them want to cry and not let anyone see it? There are many things you could say, but the majority of them are likely not helpful. They don't need to hear that the kids teasing them are insecure or jealous or just plain mean — none of these things diminish what they're feeling. As much as I wish I could, I can't make other kids say kind things to my child. I can't prevent them from teasing her about her various patches of eczema, and I can't stop her from being singled out. I can't shield her from the real world. No matter how much I'd like to, that won't help her in the slightest. As time goes on and I've realized more that things like this are going to happen whether I'm OK with it or not, I've concluded that there's only one thing I can do: be there for her. I can't stop the bullies. I can't make people accept my child exactly how she is, but I can make sure she knows that I do. That her eczema doesn't matter in the slightest to me because it's not who she is, it's just something she has to deal with. In my eyes, it's no different than needing to wear glasses or taking shots of insulin for diabetes. My child is more than any condition she has, and if there's one person she needs to show her what complete acceptance and unconditional love look like, it's me. That's the best thing I can do for her, and that's what will (hopefully) give her confidence in herself in the future. People need someone to believe in them and accept them, especially when they're having a hard time doing that themselves. If she can't yet accept herself or her eczema, she can know I do. She can see that I'll listen and be there for her without judgment, and she'll know that she can always come to me when she's embarrassed, sad, or having a hard time.
