Latest news with #lifeTransition
Forbes
09-06-2025
- Business
- Forbes
Creating A Great Later Life: Purpose Doesn't Have To Retire
Finding the best path Although lots of the stories we tell each other about retirement from work are positive ("finally, you can do whatever you want!"), the reality can be less sunny. Studies show that depression often increases for many people post-retirement, especially those who have had very responsible jobs, or who identify strongly with their professional persona and accomplishments. If you're thinking about retirement, about cutting back from full-time to part-time work, or about shifting from a many-hours-a-week job to something less demanding, you might be wondering how the change will affect you–and how to make it as positive as possible. In writing my latest book, The New Old: Crafting Your Best Later Life, this issue was very personal for me: At the end of 2023, I mostly retired from Proteus International, the company I founded in 1990 and of which I had been the CEO ever since. I realized that I wanted to envision a post-work life that would be as satisfying and meaningful to me as my work with Proteus had been, and the folks in their 60s, 70s and 80s who I was interviewing for the book told me the same thing. So, the first principle of the book became 'Be the Boss of Your Life'–and the first chapter of that section is called Keep Envisioning Your Future. It talks about how to create a clear and meaningful vision for your 'third act,' that part of your life when raising your kids, if you have them, or advancing your career are no longer your primary focus. I explain exactly how to craft a personalized vision in the book, but here's a quick guide to the key steps. As you're looking to envision what your desired later life will be like, first decide what core question you want your vision to answer. For instance, it might be something like, 'How can I create a purposeful later life?' or 'How can I create a later life that truly satisfies me?' Look for a question that really gets to the heart of what's important to you in this 'third act.' Whenever I've done this kind of visioning, for myself or with others, I've found that having a what-am-I-solving-for question is extremely helpful; it provides a focus for your visioning, a clear challenge you're trying to address. And starting your question with 'How can I…?' is a great framework for opening your mind up to what's possible; it balances aspiration with practicality. The next step to envisioning your future life is to get clear about where you're starting from. In order to focus this current-state reflection so it's not too overwhelming, I suggest you only look at those things that are most relevant to the question you're trying to answer. For instance, if you've decided to use the question, 'How can I create a purposeful later life?', identify the aspects of your current life that will make it either easier or more difficult for you to create a purposeful later life. First, think about the positive things you have in your life right now–strengths, assets, attitudes, relationships, knowledge, capabilities–that could help you answer your question. Then, think about the negative things in your life–weaknesses, gaps, lacks, attitudes, difficulties–that might make it harder to find the answer to your question. For example, if you are very curious and like finding solutions, that could help you create a purposeful later life. If you have a hard time thinking about difficult realities, that could make it harder. Having a good, accurate sense of your current state relative to the question you're trying to answer is essential if you want your vision to be attainable. Once you know what you have going for and against you, you're much more likely to be able to create what I call a 'reasonable aspiration'–a vision for your future that balances the freedom, hope and joy of aspiring with the solid practicality of what's reasonable, given your actual current situation. Now comes the fun part; engaging that part of your brain that can envision the future. And just in case you're thinking to yourself, 'Wait, I'm not a visionary, I never have been'–let me disagree with you. Every human being with a functional brain has the capacity to envision realities that haven't yet occurred. Every time you've imagined a vacation to a place you haven't yet gone, or a relationship that might blossom, or even a gift you might want for your birthday. We humans spend a lot of time inventing and then thinking about realities that don't yet exist! And it turns out this uniquely human capability of envisioning a hoped-for future in this way can significantly increase the likelihood of our achieving that future. Here's a simple process for doing it in a somewhat directed way to help you more clearly picture the later life you want to create for yourself: 1) Select a time frame: We are time-bound creatures, so it's easiest for us to envision how something will be different at a certain point in time or during a period of time. We tend to do it automatically when thinking of our own hopes and dreams (When I finish this project… After the grandbaby's born… Next summer, when we're at the lake…). By this point, having already thought through your own current state relative to your challenge question, you may have a good idea of the time in the future on which you'd like to focus your vision. You might pick a specific point, like 'a year after I retire,' or 'when I'm 70,' or a period of time, like 'in my early 80s.' When I did this exercise a few years ago, the timeframe I chose was 'in my seventies.' 2) Imagine yourself there: At this point, you'll get in a metaphorical time machine and get out on the date or during the period you've selected above, with the assumption that in this future time, you've materially addressed your challenge question. In other words, in this envisioned future, you have 'created a purposeful later life,' if that was your question. It's important to let your imagination do its job and 'put you' in this successful future. One way to do that is to speak to yourself about this future time in the present tense, and to note a few things that are true in that time, to help put you there. (For example, 'My oldest grandchild is 21,' or 'The new decade has just started,' or 'It's been ten years since we sold the family house.') 3) Describe what you see and feel: When you've grounded yourself in this future time you've selected, notice first who you are. Notice things about yourself that demonstrate that you are the person who is living a purposeful life–what does that look, sound, and feel like? Write down your thoughts as they occur to you. Once you've noted the key elements of who you are in this future time, 'look around you': What does your life consist of? How are you spending your time? What impacts are you having on those around you? Again, write down your thoughts as they occur to you. 4) Extract your key vision elements: Now you'll 'boil down' your stream of consciousness brainstorm to pull out the key elements, those things that are most important to you in this envisioned future. First, review and select the few most essential (to you) elements that describe who you are in this optimal later life. Then, select the few things that feel most important to you about how you're living your life–what you're doing, thinking, and accomplishing. These few sentences are the core of your answer to your challenge question: they summarize how your purposeful later life will feel and look. As I noted, I explain this process in much more depth in the book, with space to do the activities I've just proposed–but this brief intro will get you started. And because examples are useful and powerful, here a couple of later life visions from the folks I interviewed and worked with in the course of writing the book: A former executive and thought leader in his eighties: A retired college professor and author in her seventies: I hope this approach will support you in creating a later life that feels joyful, intentional and satisfying to you. Because, in the words of my dear friend Marie Holive - 'Purpose doesn't retire.' So, here's to creating the later life you truly want…
CTV News
31-05-2025
- Business
- CTV News
Divorce registries can help destigmatize divorce, provide support, experts say
Engagements, weddings and baby showers have gift registries. Why don't divorces? It's a question two sisters asked themselves – one that, for them, signified moving forward and getting back on their feet – a milestone that could be celebrated and destigmatized. Thus, Olivia Howell and Genevieve Dreizen launched the world's first-ever divorce registry, a service that allows friends and loved ones to support new divorcees with gifts. 'We really just want divorce to be seen as just another life transition that you can support somebody in,' Howell said in an interview with 'We're all about helping people get back on their feet, moving forward. We're not bitter, we're not angry, it's not about your ex, it's about you going forward.' The company is based in New York, but it has clients in Canada and elsewhere around the world. The sisters aim to normalize this type of support for individuals going through divorce, a life event that many endure. Marriage and divorce in Canada Marriage and divorce trends have changed in Canada. Divorce rates have been on the decline for decades, at 5.6 per 1,000 in 2020, down from 7.5 in 2019 and 12.7 in 1991, according to Statistics Canada data. But marriage is also on the decline, with more Canadians opting instead to live in common-law partnerships. Demographers and sociologists attribute this decrease, also seen in other countries, to individuals becoming increasingly more selective in marriage, Statistics Canada told in an email. While divorce is on the decline in Canada, it is still common – according to the 2019 Statistics Canada total divorce rate, 33.8 per cent of marriages would end up in divorce after 30 years and 36.9 per cent after 50 years. With change in marriage and divorce trends, alternative methods to how we support individuals going through breakups – like a divorce registry – could be useful, and in time, become more popular, some Canadian experts say. Ari Rubin, an associate family lawyer in Toronto, says a divorce registry could be particularly useful for recuperating assets. 'For people going through divorce, naturally, you're splitting all your assets, which includes the household's content,' Rubin said in an interview with 'Sometimes (the) household's contents can be some of the most contentious parts of a divorce. 'If they've been married for 20 years, they haven't started building a household again for over 20 years. (A registry) could be a way of getting organized, as well as having people show that they care.' People get creative According to Howell, the main items that are commonly added to registries are kitchenware, bedding and bathroom towels. However, people do get creative, adding disco balls, pirate flags, rainbow utensils and floral, lace and pink items. 'Starting over is a monumental life change, and people deserve support – not just emotionally, but tangibly,' Howell said. 'We've seen how powerful it is for people to have a way to rebuild their homes and lives with community support. 'Just like baby and wedding registries became a normalized part of major life transitions, we believe divorce registries will follow that same path.' Though a service like Fresh Starts Registry is one way to support individuals going through divorce, support goes beyond gifts, such as help with filing for divorce. In addition to gift registries, the website offers access to a wide range of experts – mediators, divorce lawyers, therapists and financial advisors – as well as guides, podcasts, eBooks and events. Support during divorce process The Divorce Act applies throughout Canada, but each province has its own legislation tackling various related issues like property division, parenting, child protection, pet arrangements and common-law trust claims. In 2021, the act was changed to reflect that couples must try to seek resolution outside the court system before commencing the application for divorce. That resolution can take many forms, including lawyer negotiation, mediation, arbitration or collaborative. According to Toronto-based family lawyer Russell Alexander, while a divorce registry could be advantageous, support needs differ from person to person. 'We do a lot of what we call collaborative practice, where we agree not to go to court and we try to resolve everything amicably, focusing on our client's goals and interests,' Alexander said in an interview with 'A registered social worker can assist with communication guidelines and parenting plans and things of that nature. A lot of family professionals also have collaborative practice training, so they work closely with lawyers and financial advisors in terms of creating an outcome. 'Any way we can make access to information and professionals that can help people going through divorce, I think is a good thing.' More couples opting for meditation In both Rubin's and Alexander's experiences, most individuals file for divorce based on one-year separation, and very few cases go to court for cruelty or adultery, even when there was abuse or adultery present during the marriage. According to Rubin, this is largely because proving either involves a higher evidentiary burden, often requiring affidavits, testimony, or cross-examination, which can cause further mental strain on the individual. Mary-Anne Popescu, executive director of the Ontario Association for Family Meditation, says she sees more individuals opt for a process that is less mentally taxing. 'Couples navigating separation and divorce today are generally more informed about the mental health impacts of conflict—not just on themselves, but on their children too,' Popescu told 'There's a growing awareness of how trauma, unresolved tension or high-conflict processes can leave lasting emotional imprints. That awareness is leading many families to seek out alternatives to court, like mediation, not only to resolve legal matters, but to preserve relationships, reduce stress, and create healthier transitions.' Additionally, Popescu has observed greater emphasis on mental health and trauma-informed practice with professionals working with individuals going through divorce. 'Professionals—including mediators, lawyers, therapists, and parenting coordinators—are increasingly working from trauma-informed and child-centered lenses,' Popescu said. 'Across the board, we're seeing more intentionality, whether it's entering into relationships, managing finances, or choosing how to end relationships.' Registry could be start of new support Despite couples opting for more collaborative processes to get divorced to avoid further mental strain, continued support for these individuals is always advantageous, Popescu says. 'Something like (a divorce registry) provides this ability for people to let each other know, 'I could use some help' … this could be a very tangible way for people to support each other,' she said. 'I think this could break down a barrier for people who are hesitant or don't know what to say. 'We've all been touched by divorce and separation, in our own families, our friends. It is not a clinical situation; it is an emotional situation. It's sometimes not logical, so to have these supports, I think is really good.'
Forbes
22-05-2025
- Lifestyle
- Forbes
4 Ways To Grow Your Personal Resume After Retirement
LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 04: A grounds keeper completes the finishing touches to the tunnel made ... More purely from tropical plants which is part of the Kew Gardens Orchid Festival at Kew Gardens on February 4, 2016 in London, England. The festival runs from February 6 to March 6, and features an array of over 8,996 plants and 3,294 orchids creating a Brazilian wilderness in Kew Garden's Princess of Wales Conservatory. (Photo by) When we are building our careers, we understand that professional growth is an investment that is both professionally expected and good for us. So why should we stop growing after we retire? Imagine your life as a garden and keep growing. Retirement is an antiquated term. When the Social Security Act was passed in 1935, the official retirement age of 65 was established while the average age was just 58. For many people, age 65 is often the goalpost people want to clear because this is the time when Social Security contributions are distributed. Some researchindicates that you're likely to live longer if you retire after 65. We really don't retire from life, but we are moving onto something else. Navigating this significant life transition takes time and intentional thought. Once you are in this next phase of life, growth and personal development should continue. We should be just as focused on growing for the next 30 years as we were during our 30 plus year career. While there are numerous ways to keep growing in retirement, here are four ways to personally develop. I try to attend an on-site workshop at least once a year. In 2022, I went to the Modern Elder Academy (MEA) at the Baja, Mexico campus. I attended a workshop at the MEA campus in Santa Fe in 2024. Regularly, I am taking an online workshop through Sage-ing International or Wisdom2.0. For a year, I took ceramic classes at my local art center, and I have been taking piano lessons for over a decade. For people who want to keep growing, this is just a sampling of offerings available. Since photography is important to me, I have taken private lessons. I was admiring a friend's handmade scarf. So I decided to take knitting lessons. I even got my husband to take ballroom dance lessons and now we have been taking lessons for years. It is important to remember that our expanded longevity may give us 30 more years to reinvent ourselves, redirect our energy and talents, and contribute to the world in different ways. But this requires us to update our skills and be willing to learn new skills. While we are not focused on building our professional resumes, it is important to continue adding to our personal resume. It is easy to forget that we need to continue to personally develop. The world is changing at an accelerated rate and this new life phase allows us more time and flexibility. The key is to develop a growth mindset. Spring and summer is the time to focus on new growth. Get out of your comfort zones by becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. Take small risks. Be willing to be vulnerable. Understand that learning new things and meeting new people keeps us positive and interested. What do you want to learn? So how are you growing or going to keep growing? How will you updating your personal resume?
