Latest news with #livingalone
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
Older People Are Sharing Their Secrets To Living Alone Without Feeling Lonely, And The Younger Generation Is Actually Listening
We recently asked our older readers to share their thoughts about living alone, and it turns out the majority of you preferred it, and even more of you filled out our anonymous comments form with more to add! The responses were worth sharing, so we have listed some of them below: 1."I gave up doing my own art when I was about to give birth, and spent the next 30 years raising kids, working as a teacher, and generally caregiving to others. I am so happy to be done with those fulfilling but exhausting years. I live alone, spend my days exercising, doing art, gardening, and I am deeply content. Fortunate, I know. I have lots of friends in my community and around the country in all the places I've lived. And I am still making new ones. I disagree that it's hard as you age. I have more time and patience now. I am a nicer person because I am not stressed out all the time like I was when I had no time to myself." —shycaptain24 2."I'm 94, live alone, have my apartment cleaned, and have a food service for my meals. I'm blessed to be able to do all this. I'm not interested in listening to the complaints of people who have had so much given to them and expect more. I walk my dog three times a day, take naps with my cat, and read instead of watching TV." —fluffypenguin327 3."I retired six years ago, and I'm 69. My interactions with service staff are almost always positive and engaging. I give myself some credit for that because I sincerely engage with them. If they have a name badge, I use their name, look them in the eyes, and smile. I rarely get indifference or 'attitude.' I truly believe you 'get what you pay for' in life, and that does not just apply to products." —floatingpotato9958 4."I retired 6 years ago. Even though I was very social as part of my job, by nature, I'm introverted. I enjoy my alone time, but I do get lonely sometimes. My husband golfs and hangs with his golf buddies most days. I think things would be perfect if I could find someone who just wants to hang out, go thrifting, and occasionally day drink. You know, a bestie. I have friends here in our retirement community, but they like to be busier than I do. So it's down to lunch once a month. I have found, though, if you want to make friends in a retirement community, you have to be a joiner." —truthmatters 5."At 73, I enjoy my alone time and sometimes need a nap. I have too many medical appointments, but I focus on gratitude rather than rejecting the opportunity to relate to my fellow humans. I do not isolate myself from friends or family. Yes, I am a bit slower, but I love being in nature and have weekly visits outdoors with a cluster of neighbors on my street. We love, share, and depend on one another. I am also happy that my larger friend group includes people of all ages. Rather than rejecting the music and interests of young people, I enjoy quite a lot of it. They seem to appreciate my openness and look forward to seeing me. I hope being engaged with an older person helps their self-esteem and view of adults." —famouscoach833 6."I'm getting close to retirement and planning on moving to Arizona, where I grew up. My wife died about a year ago, and my daughter, my only child, died three years ago. I'm my grandson's guardian, and once he graduates high school next year, I'll be able to focus on my wants and needs after decades of caring for and supporting others." —furrybutterfly813 7."Having spent the bulk of my years raising my kids and teaching other people's kids for 35 years, I really do enjoy life alone in a 620 square-foot cabin by the ocean. I make art out of driftwood and follow no schedules except my own whims. In many ways, these are my best years ever. I am aware of the privilege of my life, good health, and am grateful for it all." —greencentipede355 8."I love solitude so much now. I live close to great restaurants, the theater, and an active Arts Center. My days start with an hour walk along the lake, an afternoon of gardening, and a stroll to the library. At the end of the day, I cook dinner for one and then read with my puppy on my bed. I am content and relish each solitary moment." —goldenjester735 9."I am 73 years old. I worked for 38 years and raised three children. I don't have any desire to join the chaos anymore. My knees are painful, and that causes quite a slowdown. Socialization doesn't seem as important anymore. I've always been a homebody and enjoy being at home, where it is quiet and no one is judging me. My animals keep me company. My husband still works, but we have plenty to do around the house when he is off work. We see our kids and grandkids about every six weeks, and that is enough excitement until the next time." —artisticlegend564 10."I can't help but remember a quote: 'In solitude is where I'm least alone! In nature is where I find I'm least alone!'" —cornysquid507 11."My husband died. I have advanced progressive osteoarthritis. I can't afford a car or insurance. I fall now and then, sustaining broken bones, torn ligaments, and tendons. No gardening for me. I have discovered a senior center and go once a week when I can get a ride. There are people there who are just like me. We all like to talk and visit. No judgements, just human interaction. Isolation is not the answer for all of us." —smartwitch66 12."Feeling lonely is a feeling that comes and goes throughout life, even when you don't live alone. Feelings aren't facts." —silkypumpkin932 13."I have never been totally alone. I was either raising my son or with a couple of husbands. I split with my husband about a year and a half ago, so I'm finally totally alone. It's the first time in my life that I don't have to consider anyone else's wants or needs. It's fabulous! I do what the fuck I want, watch all the TV I want, clean when I want. Being alone makes me so happy! Maybe I might get out to a couple of concerts now that summer is coming, but my yard is pretty nice too, with no assholes to 'harsh my mellow.' 😂" —luckyangel30 14."I've been alone since my husband passed 13 years ago, and, at 82, I don't expect to meet someone new. It's not so bad. I come and go as I please, eat when I want, and stay up late as late as I want. I've started taking short walks during the day, which I enjoy, and I'm moving into a one-bedroom apartment that I bought on Long Island. Overall, ife is good 😊." —lazygazelle92 15."I'm 73, retired at 70. I live on 20 acres and get a lot of enjoyment and peace from just sitting in front of the barn watching the antics of my chickens and watching the world go by. Don't care much for most people. I've had an active life and now am happy with my own company." —bougiesquirrel13 16."I'm 75 and have been retired for six years. There are no more mountains left for me to climb. I've reached a summit beyond my wildest dreams. Now, with time on my hands, I spend it with my wife of 52 years. Both my daughters have their own lives to live. We enjoy our freedom to do whatever our heart desires. Life is good." —smellyscissors148 17."I traveled for work for over 30 years. I've seen some great places and stayed in lovely fancy hotels. But I was gone all the time. Now all I want to do is stay home with my pets. I have a lovely garden and I have no desire to travel." —anybodybutme lastly: "Positive attitude makes all the difference in the world. Volunteering is a wonderful feeling. I moved across the country, away from family and many lifelong friends. One son and his family followed. Here I am at 75. I live alone and love my home. I belong to a book club, have my doggie friends, have my retired group friends, and my volunteer friends, one of whom I recently traveled with to Africa. There are young and elderly people in each of these groups. I see each of them at least once a month, if not more. You can let your ailments rule your life, or you can embrace what God has created. It is your choice." —wittypunk578 Turns out, there is a lot to look forward to as you age!
Forbes
07-05-2025
- General
- Forbes
Secrets Of Successful Solo Agers
There are more older people living alone in the U.S. than you might think. As of the most recent U.S. Census Bureau data (2023 estimates), about 15.2 million people aged 65 and older live alone. That means about 1 in 4 seniors are living by themselves. Will you be one of them? Some of us have aging parents who live alone and some of us are the aging parents ourselves. From any vantage point, there are matters of concern. Some older people live out their senior years adapting well, but many others struggle. What's the difference between the ones who seem to do it fine and the ones who don't? It looks to be a matter of conscious planning, or some can call it 'facing your fears'. Solo ager Alice, at 93 Components of Success on the Solo Journey Here at where we offer consulting and strategy to those with aging loved ones, we see a variety of attitudes in the older folks. Some seem to pretend that they will always be just fine, no matter what age they are, regardless of many physical warning signs that they are no longer just fine. Denial does not produce good planning. On the other hand, we see very wise elders who recognize that they have to look out for their own aging process and potential decline in health and be sure protections are in place. They don't want to leave a mess behind them. Those are the ones who completed their estate planning documents in a younger day, appointed someone to be there in an emergency, made sure they had active connections in their communities, and avoided becoming isolated in less than ideal living situations. Examples of Smart Planning For Solo Aging Retired Teacher (RT) was a healthy, active person, living with her husband in the same house for decades. She had no adult kids in the area. She knew her husband had a few health issues, though he was generally okay. She decided it would be best if they gave up their comfortable home and moved into a local seniors' community. He resisted. She took the long view. She didn't want either of them to struggle without the other, all alone. They did move. Three months later, her husband fell ill and passed quickly. RT was already in a community. She felt safe. She was involved in it and stayed there for life. As her own health deteriorated, she had all the care she needed at hand. Hers was a successful journey alone in her last years. The oldest woman on record in her county (OW) lost her husband and decided to remain in her own house after that. She never had children. She made a community of friends and others and engaged with them daily. She kept very healthy habits, ate a clean diet, exercised every day and intentionally chose not to sit home alone in front of a TV. She remained busy for life until her very short last illness. She lived to be 113. Keys to her success were her physically active lifestyle and her intentional, association with others daily. Active Elder (AE) is 80, widowed and lives alone in a suburban condo. She sold her large home after becoming a widow. 'Too much to maintain' she says. She has no family in her area. She is involved in her local Rotary, and participates in every social event they conduct as well as attending weekly club meetings. Their motto is 'service before self'. She has a sense of purpose in that part of her life. She loves to travel and plans trips to interesting cities. Her habit is to rent a house for a month and invite friends to come visit and experience the city with her. She enjoys hosting guests and finds the travel exciting and fun, exploring different cultures. Traps Solo Agers Can Fall Into-What To Avoid The most impactful life event may be losing a partner or spouse. This is unquestionably devastating and can leave the survivor feeling totally lost in life. It may feel like the path of least resistance to withdraw and do nothing. Staying home, being depressed, and getting stuck in that place leads to no good outcome. A newly solo older person has to do hard work to survive and find a new path to a fulfilling existence. Getting help to process grief, accepting help from others and creating ways to adapt to the profound change in one's daily existence are essential. What Doesn't Work Childless Woman (CW) lost her husband quickly after a stunning diagnosis. She felt as if her world had ended. Even after a couple of months, she did not respond to friends trying to spend time to comfort her. She rejected every kind suggestion her small circle of friends offered. She got progressively more and more depressed. Finally, she got treatment, did the work and felt better. But she had no plans for how to create a different existence for herself. She refused to work at finding purpose or things to do that she could enjoy. Her last years were primarily a sad time. She spent most of her time completely isolated from others. What Does Work None of us have a guarantee of never being left alone in life. Many single people of all ages work things out, but a lot changes as we age. The risks of aging solo increase over the years. In fact, among people 85 and older, nearly half of women live alone. Planning around this possibility can make things considerably easier. And it takes effort to see the options and create a way to be successful. Here is what we see at as high quality planning for one's future, being as realistic as possible. 1. Create or expand your connections to others. Develop and expand your friendships. Join things. Show up for events. Participate in groups, like AE, above (Rotary for example), in your community. You need a network around you if you want to age solo in a successful way. People live longer and happier with community around them. Social isolation leads to poor health outcomes. 2. Make clear future plans. If you live in a place that you could not or would not want to manage alone, consider a proactive move before it is actually needed. RT, above, gave up her house, which her husband resisted doing. But her move to a supervised environment was a life saver over time. After he passed, she had a community and support every day. 3. Attend to your mental health. This is true throughout life, of course, but your emotional well-being when you are aging alone is of critical importance. Components of mental wellness include feeling included, having a sense of purpose, (like AE, above), creating enjoyable activities (OW, above), and avoiding social isolation, among other things. This well being does not come about by drifting along, making no effort to achieve good emotional health. It can be a result of a concerted effort to remain engaged in the parts of life that bring safety and enjoyment. Conclusion Concerned adult children may understand all of this. And stubborn aging parents may simply refuse all helpful suggestions. We can't make anyone who is still mentally competent do what we want. We can encourage and that can help. On a personal note, my widowed mother-in-law, who lived to be 96, insisted on living alone for all too long. We begged her for years to move. Finally at age 93, she took our suggestion to move to a seniors' community! The takeaway: don't give up. Your urgings can eventually work.
