Latest news with #livingarrangements
Yahoo
13-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
At 22, my daughter moved back home. She's used to having a roommate — I'm not.
My 22-year-old daughter moved home after graduating college to save money for a year. She's used to having a roommate, but I haven't had anyone else in my house for four years. We maintain harmony through shared expenses, chores, and open communication. My daughter's college graduation hit me profoundly. I was proud of her, of course, but this graduation, unlike the previous ones (kindergarten, middle school and high school), signaled a change: she's all grown up. Even though she's moving back home, she's now a 22 year old adult who's been living on her own for the past four years. She's used to roommates — I'm not. This is how we're navigating our new living arrangements. My daughter is industrious, working several part-time jobs. She's also building a life, making and maintaining friendships, attending concerts, and indulging in pub crawls. While I don't tell her what to do, I expect the courtesy of communication about her plans so I don't wake up at 2 a.m. wondering where she is. We follow each other's location on our phones for safety, but I don't abuse this privilege. Knowing she's safely in her bed or at a friend's house helps me rest easy. Her plan is to work for a year to save money for her master's degree, an endeavor I support. Therefore, I'm keeping her on my phone and insurance accounts so she can save the money she earns. But when she runs to the grocery store for a snack, has a night out, or wants a haircut, that's on her dime. I'm fortunate to have a job that pays our bills. While I can, I'm happy to give her a leg up. One reason I haven't downsized our family home is I knew she'd be returning. She helps maintain our house by doing chores, and not just unloading the dishwasher, her specialty since middle school. She's become a skilled power washer, deck hole-filler, and painter, and this summer she's rehabbing other wooden features in our yard. I'd have to pay someone else for the light repairs, mulching and staining jobs she's capable of doing, so she earns credit doing them herself. She's housesitting this summer while I'm traveling, and I left her a hefty list. It had better be done when I get home. Our schedules are busy and, since handing over some of the household maintenance, it's important that we both know who's doing what and when. We have a shared calendar for our work schedules and choreography of daily chores such as cat litter, dishes, laundry and dinner. This allows us to keep track of the schedule and prevents me from nagging, which preserves our relationship. My daughter and I have always been close and we're good at expressing ourselves, but it's more important now than ever. We each have pet peeves: I hate an unloaded dryer and a stolen hairbrush, she (understandably) hates it when I go to bed and leave a candle burning. It's important to talk about these things as they arise so they don't fester. We've learned to mention them kindly and without frustration, as we share mutual respect for one another. Like any roommates, we consider each others' co-living needs. I rise early for work and want quiet after 9 p.m. so, if she has a friend visiting, they stay downstairs. She loves it when I bring her coffee in bed, and I wait for her to text me the coffee emoji each morning. I haven't had a roommate in years, but following these guidelines works well and allows us to enjoy each other in a new way — as equals. Read the original article on Business Insider
Yahoo
18-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
I'm 33 and I have 4 roommates. The rent fits my budget and I love the company, but sometimes I'd prefer to live alone.
I live in a house with four roommates, and we're all in our 30s. There are some frustrating things about my living situation, but there are pros, too. It fits my budget, and the company is nice, but I don't love having to fight for fridge space. About once a week, I down my coffee and sprint to the bathroom, moments later, only to find the door locked. Someone beat me to it. I pace in the hallway for a minute or two, imagining that they must be almost done. But time is not on my side, so I take two flights of stairs to the basement to do my business in the spider-infested half bathroom, ripe with annoyance. On my long climb back up to my bedroom, I ask myself why I live in a five-bedroom, three-bathroom house with four roommates. When the pandemic started, I was living with just one roommate. Then, I moved in with a partner. Our breakup led to a swift life change, and I landed in a big Denver house with a small army of companions after friends invited me to snag their spare room. It wasn't really a conscious decision to move back into a college-like environment; it was more like I slid over a cascading waterfall and into my current bedroom and found my accommodations reasonable enough. I've been here ever since. Though sometimes I wonder about my choice of housing, there are a few reasons I stay: A noisy house feels comforting to me, we're half a mile away from the train that takes me to the airport (which is extra convenient, as I'm an avid traveler), and rent control doesn't exist in Colorado, so there aren't a lot of places that fit my budget in the first place. If you had asked me where I'd be by the time I was 33 years ago, I would have told you I'd be living out of a backpack somewhere in Europe or South America with a smile plastered on my face. I thought that right now, I'd be traveling around, filthy, with a map in one hand and a baguette in the other. And for much of the year, I do, in fact, live this way (albeit it's usually an espresso instead of a baguette, and a smartphone instead of a map). What I didn't realize all those years ago, while I was dreaming up my ideal life, is that sometimes I'd crave the comfort of a home, too. I couldn't have predicted that after a few weeks on the road, I'd grow weary of red-eye flights and begin to crave my bed, a familiar ultra-processed diet, and my guitar. And I definitely couldn't have imagined that travel was going to be lonely. We're all friends in addition to being roommates, which means we often share meals and socialize while we're home. Having the company is nice, and I knew coming into the situation that it'd be a fit since I was already close with two of my new roommates. All of us are in our 30s, and we've adapted to pitch in with chores to keep the house feeling like a home. Our landlord — another friend — determined the cost of rent, so thankfully, it's fair or may even be under market value. That's really helpful as a self-employed writer who's never quite sure where my next check is going to come from There are definite pros to living with four roommates, and my vision for myself never included a cookie-cutter life, with a white picket fence and a baby on either hip. But there are still times when I'd gladly pay double the rent for a place of my own. I'd like to crap in peace whenever the urge arises. I'd also love to have my own parking space and not have to go to war for space in the fridge when I come home from a trip. But most of the time, the inconvenience of a home full of 30-something-year-olds is worth the freedom it affords me. And the laughter across the house is reason enough to stay. Read the original article on Business Insider
