4 days ago
Negotiate Like A Pro: A Psychiatrist's Playbook For Getting Paid
Successful negotiation is an art.
Salary negotiation is a psychological art. You've likely heard of two similarly qualified people working the same position but earning vastly different compensation packages. One of the core reasons for this is a concept known as loss aversion, where we prioritize protecting ourselves from loss above pursuing gain. Although data tells us only 6% of employers will rescind offers due to a salary negotiation, we often approach salary negotiation with the first identifiable pitfall: fear of failure.
According to data, this is potentially a $600,000 mistake throughout one's career when you fail to negotiate just a $5,000 increase in your first job. Yet, over 60% of people will not negotiate their job offer and take what is given to them. What is at stake, however, is not only a larger paycheck but the opportunity to ensure our well-being at work. I spoke with Jen Fisher, a leading voice in workplace wellbeing who served as Deloitte's first-ever human sustainability leader and chief well-being officer. She explained:
Founder & CEO, The Wellbeing Team
"Your first job sets the tone for your relationship with work. Instead of just asking about advancement opportunities, inquire about how well-being is structured into daily operations—recovery time, meeting practices, and expected communication patterns. Great organizations don't just claim to value wellbeing; they design systems that enable it by default. This distinction matters more than most young professionals realize.'
So, how do we ask?
Let's peel back the curtain and find the science-backed ways to get into the negotiator's mind.
Understand everything that you bring to the table.
This is the critical starting point, personally and professionally. I recently spoke with a group of young doctors on a webinar to discuss this topic, and the overwhelming sentiment was that we are constantly told what to do, so when we get our first job offer, we accept it at face value.
This moment of reflection is necessary before you enter the negotiation with clarity and confidence. You've worked hard in school and have a valuable background. Understanding your value will allow you to push back and combat the fiercest negotiator—your inner critic.
Do I really deserve more?
Will they change their mind?
I once met with a new doctor who was preparing to accept her first job offer. I noticed that the offer presented to her was well below market value. She explained that she hadn't thought about it much because she felt that her peers in medical school were just 'so much smarter, so I'm lucky to get whatever I can.' This perception that she had of herself significantly impacted her ability to evaluate the job offer she received objectively. Luckily, she took another look and used some of the approaches below to land a 15% increase in what was initially offered.
Employers often have more leverage in one area than another. Every component of the compensation package may have different levels of negotiation flexibility, so each is worth examining carefully.
The leverage you look for also varies based on what the company you work for truly values. I spoke with Stephanie Le Melle, Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, who explained
Stephanie Le Melle
'Look at the mission and vision of the organization and try to understand their goals, values and how they define success. Once you have a clearer understanding of how success is defined, think about how your knowledge and skills can contribute. This can help guide your job description negotiations '
Once you have a clearer understanding of how success is defined, you have a much better sense of what can be negotiated.
The end game of this negotiation is to put you in the position to do the job so well that it will also reflect well on the person interviewing you. According to Harvard Business Review, a key element not to forget is the power of likability. A person is more likely to go out of their way to bend things or stretch the negotiation range if they feel that this will benefit them as well. This is a collaborative process, not a battle. The more you can bring the person in through that likability and shared value, the more likely they are to get you to your desired end.
This may seem simplistic, but just as we are more likely to argue with a partner when arguing before dinner, we are slightly less patient when our body is not adequately prepared. If we can help it, being well-rested, eating well, and being physically prepared can contribute to our emotional response.
A well-nourished, well-rested brain is a negotiator's secret weapon. It can be the difference between the impulsive response that sets you back and a patient gesture that builds up the position you want to take.
A job isn't just where you earn a paycheck—it's a new home where you will spend significant time. Make sure you can be comfortable living there and that it is a place where you can grow and thrive. Negotiation is not just about numbers, but a critical step in defining your career trajectory.
