Latest news with #mentalHealth
The Guardian
6 days ago
- Sport
- The Guardian
Origin's series-defining moment offers an antidote to rugby league's performative masculinity
Hug your friends. Let them cry on your shoulder. Tell them everything's going to be OK. Do it in public. Do it with confidence. Do it knowing it might inspire someone else in need of an ally. Open yourself to holding your mate, like Billy Slater. Open yourself to being held, like Cameron Munster. There was a lot to take away from this year's State of Origin: Tom Dearden's unfussy excellence, Hamiso Tabuai-Fidow's adaptability, Nathan Cleary's Kangaroos jersey. But it took until after the final siren of the third of the three full-blooded contests for the series-defining moment to occur. After composing himself to deliver his immediate postmatch thoughts to Channel Nine, Munster, Queensland's captain, turned and collapsed into the arms of Slater, Queensland's coach. The younger man sobbed uncontrollably. Great shudders of his weary body, unburdening himself of grief. The older man held his friend close, tears streaming down his own face. The loss of both men's fathers, six weeks of intense Origin stress, and the heightened pressure of recent days needed discharging. The television camera that had been used to elicit Munster's comments captured the embrace. Broadcasting to millions around the world it revealed the two men circled by photographers, who in turn were ringed by 80,000 spectators. Yet this unarguably public display of affection remained a private act. In a world of scripted reality authenticity is powerful. Cameras were present, but this was not staged to be clipped for socials. It was raw human heartache, the kind that cannot be fabricated by a Rockhampton larrikin and an Innisfail roustabout. The idiom goes that sport is the most important of the unimportant things in life. It highlights both the significance of sport in people's lives, but also how that significance has a ceiling. It mattered that Munster had extended his captaincy record to two wins from two matches. And it mattered that Slater was vindicated in his controversial decision to drop Daly Cherry-Evans after a series-opening loss. It mattered more in the grand scheme of things that two friends could comfort one another in their shared sorrow. Munster is still in the primal stage of grieving the death of his father. Within minutes of receiving the news on Sunday, Slater urged his captain to leave the team's training camp and be with his family. He was on a flight north in a matter of minutes. Most of us, at some point in our lives have endured, or will endure, similar pain. May we all have friends like Slater nearby when it happens. The pair were also the key protagonists before and during Origin 2. Queensland had lost three matches in a row. Playing stocks looked weak. Slater's coaching was in the spotlight. It was close to the most serious low in an almost unfailingly glittering career, and the first professional test without his father, Ron, to call on for support. Ronnie Slater, a north Queensland rugby league icon in his own right, died in January. Sign up to Australia Sport Get a daily roundup of the latest sports news, features and comment from our Australian sports desk after newsletter promotion Slater needed to pull a rabbit out of a hat. We know now that his decision to replace Cherry-Evans with Dearden and appoint Munster as captain was a masterstroke, but at the time these were decisions not applauded universally. He needed someone to have his back. That man was Munster. He was steadfast in his defence of his coach, and demonstrated as much with a player of the match performance in Perth. Afterwards he said: 'I don't ever tell him, but I'm probably telling him now. I love him.' Sport is often a proxy for authentic human connection. Especially for men; bloody big bloody tough bloody blokes. It allows us to pat each other's bums in public then sing secret songs in private. It means performative masculinity and converting concussion and chronic traumatic encephalopathy into clicks. And we can do all of this without having to process our feelings or confront our fears. Two of the hardest, most resilient figures in the toughest competition in the fiercest sport in the world have shown there's another way. So hug your friends. Let them cry on your shoulder. Everything's going to be OK.
Daily Mail
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Matt Zukowski breaks his silence following divorce from Tammy Hembrow as he makes bombshell revelation about their split
Matt Zukowski has broken his silence following his split from his wife of seven months Tammy Hembrow. The Love Island star, 29, addressed his split in the latest episode of his Where's Your Head At? podcast alongside co-host Anna McEvoy. Matt admitted he is 'struggling a lot' and has been going to therapy regularly to help heal amid his divorce. 'I'm absolutely shattered to announce it, to be honest. But at the end of the day, we weren't right for each other and in this relationship, I've learnt a lot about myself,' he said. 'I've learnt a lot about what I need in a relationship and what's right for me. Moving forward, I'm gonna focus on myself and focus on healing and moving forward with my life.' From A-list scandals and red carpet mishaps to exclusive pictures and viral moments, subscribe to the DailyMail's new showbiz newsletter to stay in the loop. Matt continued: 'I know there's a lot of speculation and people are looking for me to clear up all the whispers online but that's not me. 'This is literally real life, like, this is happening to me right now and I'm still trying to process it. I'm still trying to heal from it.' He said he has respect for Tammy and doesn't want to share private details about their relationship. 'This has been one of the toughest periods of my life and it's honestly been so stressful on my mental health,' Matt continued. 'Right now, I'm not in a place where I want to talk about this any further. But I've been hanging around my loved ones, my family. I've been going to therapy, which has helped heaps in navigating this time in my life.' Matt also thanked his fans and listeners for their 'understanding and kindness' over the past few weeks. 'I think coming here every week and doing an hour podcast with my best friend Anna is going to be healthy for me to forget what's going on and just have fun,' he continued. 'Obviously Anna's in a different stage in her life now, she's just had a kid, so, coming in here and being around that energy is contagious and I love doing that. So, I'm keen to move forward doing that. 'And to my listeners, thank you for staying with me through all these life stages. Whilst this isn't one I wanted to take you on, I hope you can give me grace as I navigate through this difficult time. Thank you.' Tammy and Matt confirmed they had split on social media last month. Love Island Australia star Matt announced the couple's separation in a sombre Instagram Story on Sunday, telling fans the decision was not taken lightly. 'It's with a heavy heart I share that Tammy and I have decided to separate,' Matt began. 'Both of us have struggled with making this decision, however we need to do what is right for ourselves and her three children. 'This wasn't a decision we took lightly. Our time together will always be cherished and never forgotten,' he added, before thanking fans for their support and asking for privacy. Despite their short-lived marriage, both parties have asked for privacy as they adjust to life post-breakup. 'We appreciate everyone's support and space at this time as we navigate the split,' Matt concluded in his emotional post. Tammy later addressed the split in an emotional TikTok video, telling fans she would be getting a divorce. 'I don't want to get into the details and I want to be sensitive to everyone involved,' she told fans. 'Obviously, when you marry someone, you do it thinking that it is going to be forever, and I blame no one but myself,' Tammy continued while breaking down in tears. 'I've made not the best choices when it comes to relationships. I'm good at putting on rose-coloured glasses. 'Obviously, the worst part for me is that I have kids. I don't care about me, I know I will be okay, but I feel awful.' The news came less than 24 hours after Matt was spotted spending time with sports journalist Tayla Little at the London Tavern in Richmond, Melbourne on Saturday night. Matt and Tammy sparked speculation surrounding the state of their whirlwind romance in recent months, with many fans convinced the pair had quietly split. Tammy first sparked concern in March after she was spotted crying in a bathroom, while Matt was later overheard allegedly ' talking crap' about his wife at a South Melbourne gym. In the weeks that followed, Matt quietly moved out of the couple's Queensland home and relocated back to Melbourne, where he resumed working for his father's pool business. Despite exchanging vows in a glamorous Byron Bay ceremony under a year ago and getting matching tattoos to mark their love, fans quickly noticed Matt had been erased from most of Tammy's social media - save for a few lingering images from their Vogue Australia wedding spread. Tammy and Matt tied the knot in a beautiful ceremony at Chateau Du Soleil in Byron Bay on November 23. They got engaged in December 2023 following just three months of dating.
RNZ News
6 days ago
- RNZ News
Mt Eden inmate death was second double-bunked killing in nine months
An inmate was killed at Auckland's Mt Eden Corrections Facility on June 27. A 32-year-old man has been charged with murder. Photo: RNZ/Calvin Samuel The killing of a Mt Eden prisoner, allegedly by his cellmate , is the second suspected inmate murder at the facility in nine months, with both cases involving double-bunked cells. An inmate was killed at Auckland's Mt Eden Corrections Facility on 27 June. A 32-year-old man has been charged with murder. RNZ earlier revealed that both men, who were in a double-bunked cell, were known to mental health services. The victim had recently been in a mental health unit in Whangārei as part of a compulsory treatment order and was in custody after breaching bail, and the murder-accused had a history with mental health services. The killing came nine months after Andrew Chan Chui died at the prison . A 23-year-old inmate, who shared a double-bunk cell with Chan Chui, has been charged with murdering him . Do you know more? Email RNZ asked Corrections Minister Mark Mitchell whether he believed the process around double-bunking and how people were put in the same cell needed to be revisited in light of the death last month. In a statement, he said the process for double-bunking was "operational for Corrections". "With court proceedings and reviews underway, it is not appropriate to comment further." Labour's corrections spokeswoman Tracey McLellan told RNZ the man's death last month was a "terrible outcome". "I expect Corrections to do the best they can to ensure the safety of people in their custody. "I am sure the Minister will be asking questions - and I will follow up to ensure the government gets to the bottom of this." The father of the man who died at Mt Eden prison last month, told RNZ he wants to know how the two men came to share a cell. "If he hadn't been double bunked with this person he would still be with us. "That was the fault of Corrections. Corrections are supposed to care for people, and they had a duty of care to him, and they failed miserably on that." The woman who was harassed by the victim for about a decade agrees. She says he should have been in a secure psychiatric facility "instead of being placed in the same environment as violent offenders". The victim's father told RNZ his son was jailed in relation to breaching the conditions of a restraining order. He was eventually released and spent two weeks in a mental health facility in Whangarei before he was granted electronically-monitored bail to an apartment. He said that while at the mental health facility his son's medication was changed and he was "making good progress". However, he breached his conditions again and was arrested, spending three days in Northland Region Corrections Facility before being moved to Mt Eden. The victim's father had been told that the alleged killer had a history with mental health services. He wants to know why the two men were placed in the same cell. "It was a complete failure of the duty of care to my son." Corrections Deputy Commissioner Neil Beales Photo: RNZ / Cole Eastham-Farrelly Corrections Deputy Commissioner Neil Beales said in a statement to RNZ an investigation by the independent Corrections Inspectorate was being carried out. All deaths in custody are referred to the Coroner for investigation and determination of cause of death. "We acknowledge that many people will have questions and want answers about the circumstances that preceded this person's death. The court proceedings, investigations and the Coronial Inquest will form an important part of this process. "These proceedings all play a role in providing detailed, expert and impartial views of the circumstances surrounding a person's death. If there are agreed findings and recommendations in relation to our management of the victim or the accused, then we will absolutely act on these." In response to questions from RNZ, a Health New Zealand spokesperson said: "We acknowledge this incident". "We are unable to consider commenting on a person's medical treatment without a privacy waiver." A spokesperson for Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey said HNZ was best placed to respond from a health perspective. As the matter was subject to court proceedings and there were reviews underway, Doocey was unable to comment further at this time. Sign up for Ngā Pitopito Kōrero , a daily newsletter curated by our editors and delivered straight to your inbox every weekday.
Forbes
6 days ago
- General
- Forbes
5 Signs ‘Fawning' Is Short-Circuiting Your Career And Relationships
You probably know about fight-or-flight and freeze as the three class trauma responses, but there's ... More a fourth, lesser-known response known as "fawning" which harms relationships. Most people know the classic trauma responses: fight, flight and freeze. But psychologists now recognize a fourth F— known as 'fawning'—and it may be the most common, socially rewarded and misunderstood of all four responses to stress. The majority of workers are unaware they are fawning or that it leads to self-erasure, short-changing them in careers, friendships and intimate relationships. How 'Fawning' Short-Changes You In Relationships Fawning explains why we stay in bad jobs, fall into unhealthy partnerships and tolerate dysfunctional environments--even when it seems obvious to others we should bail, according to clinical psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton. She describes the term, coined by psychotherapist Pete Walker, as the tendency to respond to a threat by 'becoming more appealing to the threat.' Clayton, author of the forthcoming book, FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—And How to Find Our Way Back, points out that many high-functioning, capable people can't seem to break the pattern of fawning. Fawners mirror or merge with a coworker, friend or intimate partner's desires and expectations. Just as we're wired to fight, flee or freeze when threatened, fawning is the instinct to appease, please and self-abandon at any cost in order to stay safe—a survival response often mistaken for being agreeable, easygoing or helpful, Clayton notes. She adds that research shows chronic fawning is a trauma response from the past--a form of self-erasure, linked to anxiety, burnout, poor boundaries, toxic relationships and even physical health issues. I spoke with Charlotte, NC psychotherapist, Karen DuBose, psychiatric nurse clinical specialist. She told me that fawning is a form of self-abandonment in which someone depends on the approval of others for psychological safety instead of finding safety within themselves. She states that fight, flee and freeze are observable behaviors, whereas fawning--which is also fear-based--is more subtle to the eye. DuBose quotes Sir Winston Churchill, who said, "An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. She explains that, in an attempt to appease a threat--such as fear of disapproval, rejection or abandonment--fawning can manifest through 'love bombing,' people pleasing, over-giving, codependency, over-working and even careaholism. She also mentions that fawning can lead to what scientists call 'flocking'--the tendency to align your actions or decisions with a group in the face of adversity for safety and avoidance of ridicule if you disagree or speak your mind. Break-room chatter at work is an example when disgruntled coworkers collectively complain about management, but they might not feel safe to complain individually for fear of sticking out. Clayton points out that fawning depends on connection as a means of protection, asking us to abandon ourselves and our needs, values and opinions, which strengthens vulnerability in the long-term. She explains that fawning is a relational trauma response when fighting, fleeing or freezing are not options for safety or might make things worse. Often the result of long-term exposure to pervasive traumatic events, fawning can develop into a pervasive safe-guard against further harm, according to Clayton. She describes fawning as a useful survival tool for navigating life under distress, adding that it can leave us trapped in unhealthy relationships and situations. 5 Signs You Could Be 'Fawning' In Relationships Dubose suggests that the helping, medical and mental health professions are bulging at the seams with fawners. Some clinicians over give, over care and overwork to the point they develop 'careaholism' and suffer compassion burnout. But you don't have to be a medical or mental health practitioner to show the symptoms. Clayton gives five signs that could indicate you're a fawner. If you . . . 1. Apologize to people who have hurt you 2. Befriend your bullies 3. Ignore others' bad behavior 4. Obsess about saying the right thing, even when there's no 'right' thing to say 5. Make yourself into someone you're not while seeking approval that may never come The Rx For 'Fawning': 6 Tips For Radical Self-Care The remedy for fawning is self-care, and it's more than a bubble bath. Sometimes fawners must practice radical self-care. The goal is to take the necessary steps to go to unpopular extremes if necessary—to take care of yourself and protect your mental and physical well-being at all costs. 1. Ditch concerns of disappointing or appeasing others and care as much about how you treat yourself or allow yourself to be treated. 2. Be realistic about what's humanly possible for you. Every time you say "yes" when you want to say "no," you do yourself an injustice. 3. Examine your motivation for helping. Do you believe sacrificing yourself for others will fulfill a greater need in you than in them? If the answer is yes, you could be taking more than you're giving. 4. Show the people you help how to fish instead of feeding them fish. If the help you give makes a colleague or friend dependent on you or you dependent on them, you could be holding them and you back. 5. Set emotional boundaries. Gauge your actions by your own standards, not by the approval of others. Work on becoming emotionally independent. Avoid over-identifying with the feelings of others. Chameleons lose touch with who they are. 6. Help yourself first. Get comfortable with disapproval and disagreements and learn to face instead of avoid conflict. Start to see your individualism and independent decision-making as healthy attributes. 7. Refrain from being 'overly nice.' If you get labeled as a 'yes employee,' it works against you, and you lose collegial respect. 8. Don't shrink around bullies or aggressive people. Stand up to anyone who bullies you, and call people out who are rude or behaving badly. At the end of the day, after all is said and done, no matter how much you fawn, DuBose points out that fawning is unsustainable. Someone will disapprove or disagree, and its only a matter of time before the crocodile feasts upon you. But when you send fawning packing and reclaim your self-respect and stand firm in your values and opinions, you won't have to fear the crocodile anymore.
Bloomberg
7 days ago
- Health
- Bloomberg
Antidepressant Pullback Symptoms Fewer Than Thought, Study Shows
Stopping antidepressants doesn't lead to as many withdrawal symptoms as previously thought, according to a new study. In a large trial examining the crucial weeks after people end treatment, scientists found that the symptoms reported after one week weren't even enough register as clinically significant. The study, published in Jama Psychiatry on Wednesday, ruled out mood change as a symptom, while dizziness was the effect most commonly reported.
