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4 hours ago
- General
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15 Things Women Swallow In Marriage—And Secretly Resent Forever
Marriage is full of shared experiences, love, and yes, the occasional compromise. While it's often said that communication is key, there are some things women swallow that never make it to the conversation table. These are the little irritations and unspoken resentments that silently simmer beneath the surface. You're not alone if you've ever felt like your opinions, time, or efforts go unnoticed. Here are 15 things women often swallow in marriage—and secretly resent forever. 1. Doing The Majority Of The Housework Even when both partners work full-time, household chores often become the woman's responsibility. You find yourself picking up after everyone or becoming the default cleaner-in-chief. A 2020 study by the Institute for Social Research found that women still do twice as much unpaid domestic work as men. This imbalance can leave you feeling undervalued and exhausted, especially when it goes unacknowledged. Over time, resentment builds, making you feel like you're living in a time loop of mess and chores. Eventually, the frustration of carrying this invisible load starts to feel heavy. You might try to bring it up in conversations, but the change often comes too slowly, if at all. The imbalance isn't just about physical work; it's about the emotional toll it takes on you. You might start to feel like a maid rather than a partner, which can erode the emotional intimacy of your relationship. This unbalanced division of labor is one of those silent resentments that lingers. 2. Taking On The Emotional Labor You often find yourself managing not just your feelings but everyone else's, too. From remembering birthdays to planning family gatherings, emotional labor is your invisible job. It's seldom recognized or appreciated, leaving you to feel like an emotional janitor. You're expected to smooth things over and keep everyone happy. Over time, the constant emotional work can lead to burnout and resentment. Despite your best efforts, managing emotions becomes overwhelming. You begin to feel like your needs are secondary, which can make you feel undervalued. The emotional labor can become so ingrained that even a simple request for help feels like one more task on your never-ending to-do list. It can seem as if your partner is oblivious to the weight you're carrying. The emotional toll of this unacknowledged work can strain your marriage over time. 3. Putting Career Goals On Hold In many marriages, women often take a back seat when it comes to career ambitions. You might find yourself putting your dreams on hold to support your partner's career or to take care of family responsibilities. A study by Harvard Business Review found that women are more likely to compromise their careers for family than men. Sacrificing your career can leave you feeling like you've given up a part of yourself. This unspoken sacrifice can lead to long-term resentment. It's not just about lost earnings; it's about lost opportunities and personal growth. You might feel like you're watching your life from the sidelines while supporting someone else's journey. Over time, unfulfilled career aspirations can chip away at your sense of identity and self-worth. You may wonder what could have been if circumstances were different. The regret of paused ambitions often lingers silently. 4. Handling The Mental Load The mental load is that invisible backpack brimming with every detail needed to keep a household running smoothly. From knowing when to pay the bills to keeping track of the kids' extracurricular activities, managing these details often falls on you. This constant mental juggling act can be exhausting, leaving you feeling like you're stuck in a never-ending loop of to-do lists. This responsibility often goes unnoticed, making you feel like your efforts are taken for granted. Over time, this can lead to resentment, as it feels like another Groundhog Day of tasks. The mental load is not just about remembering things; it's about the emotional burden of being the household manager. You might feel like you're always on, with little time to relax or unwind. It's easy to become resentful when you realize that this burden isn't shared equally. You may start to question why your partner doesn't see or appreciate this invisible effort. It's a silent struggle that many women bear alone. 5. Financial Insecurity Money can be a major source of stress and tension in any relationship, and financial insecurity often falls hardest on women. You might find yourself worrying about bills, savings, or future financial plans more than your partner. According to financial advisor Suze Orman, women tend to be more worried about financial security due to longer life expectancies and wage disparities. This constant worry can become a breeding ground for resentment, especially if financial discussions are avoided. It can feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. The anxiety of financial insecurity can seep into other areas of your life. You may feel like you have to justify every purchase or be the one to always say no to extra spending. Over time, the financial stress can start to feel isolating, as if you're bearing the burden alone. It can lead to feelings of frustration and helplessness when planning for the future. The lack of financial stability becomes more than an annoyance; it becomes a point of contention that you can't seem to escape. 6. Lack Of Appreciation Remember the last time you were genuinely thanked for everything you do? You make it your mission to keep things running smoothly, but the appreciation often goes unsaid. It's easy for your efforts to become part of the norm, taken for granted by those around you. This lack of acknowledgment can make you feel invisible, like what you do doesn't matter. Over time, this can create an undercurrent of resentment. It's not that you expect a trophy for doing the dishes, but a simple thank you can go a long way. Feeling unappreciated can lead to a build-up of irritation and frustration. You might start to feel like you're giving more than you're getting, leading to an imbalance in the relationship. With time, the lack of gratitude can erode your sense of worth and contribution. A little acknowledgement can make all the difference. 7. Ignoring Personal Needs Women are often expected to put others' needs before their own, leading to personal sacrifices that go unnoticed. You may find yourself skipping self-care or personal time to meet everyone else's needs. A survey conducted by the American Psychological Association highlighted that women often experience higher stress levels due to balancing multiple responsibilities without prioritizing their own needs. This constant self-neglect can lead to burnout and resentment over time. It's hard to be everything to everyone with little left for yourself. Ignoring your own needs can make you feel depleted and undervalued. Over time, the lack of personal fulfillment can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and resentment. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking it's selfish to take time for yourself, but it's crucial for your well-being. You might start to feel like you're disappearing, lost in the demands of day-to-day life. The frustration of unmet personal needs can quietly fester. 8. Silent Treatment As Conflict Resolution Dealing with conflict is a part of any relationship, but the silent treatment is often used as a weapon. You might find that instead of talking things out, your partner opts for silence, leaving issues unresolved. While some might think silence is a peaceful solution, it often leaves you in emotional limbo. This type of interaction can make you feel like your feelings are being dismissed. Over time, this lack of communication can lead to frustration and resentment. The silent treatment doesn't resolve conflict; it only pushes it under the surface. You may feel isolated or ignored, as if your emotions don't matter. It's hard to build a strong, open relationship when communication barriers exist. The lack of dialogue can eat away at the foundation of your relationship, making you feel like you're walking on eggshells. This unresolved tension can simmer, creating a chasm between you and your partner. 9. Being The Default Parent In many households, women automatically become the go-to parent for anything child-related. You might find yourself handling everything from school projects to bedtime routines while your partner remains a supporting act. It can feel like you're parenting on your own, leading to exhaustion and frustration. The imbalance in parental responsibilities often goes unnoticed, creating an unspoken divide. Over time, this can lead to resentment, as you feel like you're shouldering the bulk of the responsibility. The role of the default parent isn't just tiring; it's emotionally taxing. You might start to feel like your partner is more of a backup than an equal when it comes to parenting. This imbalance can create feelings of isolation, as if you're carrying the weight of parenthood alone. It's challenging to feel fully supported when the division of parental duties is uneven. This silent struggle can erode the partnership you hoped to have. 10. Sacrificing Personal Interests When you enter a long-term relationship, personal interests often take a back seat to joint activities or family needs. You might find yourself giving up hobbies or passions to accommodate your partner's preferences or family time. Over time, this sacrifice can lead to feelings of loss and resentment. It's easy to feel like you're losing a piece of yourself when your interests are sidelined. The absence of personal pursuits can make you feel unfulfilled. Sacrificing personal interests doesn't just impact your happiness; it affects your identity. You might start to feel like you're living someone else's life, minimizing your own desires for the sake of harmony. It can lead to a buildup of frustration, as you long for the activities that once brought you joy. Over time, the absence of personal interests can lead to a feeling of emptiness. This unspoken sacrifice can weigh heavily on your sense of self. 11. Unfulfilled Expectations Marriage often comes with a set of expectations about partnership, growth, and shared goals. When these expectations aren't met, it can lead to disappointment and resentment. You might find that your vision of marriage doesn't align with reality, leading to feelings of frustration. It's tough when your partner doesn't share the same commitment to personal or joint goals. Over time, these unfulfilled expectations can become a silent source of tension. Unmet expectations can make you feel like you're not on the same page. You might question whether your partner values the same things you do, leading to feelings of disconnect. It can be challenging to navigate a relationship when your dreams and goals are unmet. This gap in expectations can lead to a buildup of resentment, as you feel like you're missing out on what you hoped marriage would be. The disappointment of unfulfilled expectations often goes unsaid. 12. Adjusting To Different Communication Styles Communication is vital in any relationship, but varying styles can create misunderstandings. You might find that your way of expressing feelings differs from your partner's, leading to friction and unspoken resentment. This mismatch can make you feel unheard or misunderstood, building frustration over time. It's challenging to connect deeply when communication barriers exist. The struggle to find a common ground can leave you feeling isolated. Adjusting to different communication styles requires patience and understanding. You might feel like you're speaking different languages, struggling to get your point across. Over time, the lack of effective communication can lead to feelings of disconnect. It's easy to feel like your needs aren't being met when you can't communicate openly. The silence created by mismatched communication styles often leads to unspoken resentment. 13. Unreciprocated Efforts Relationships thrive on mutual effort, but it's not always a balanced exchange. You might find yourself giving more time, energy, or resources than your partner, leaving you feeling depleted. This imbalance can create feelings of resentment when your efforts go unrecognized or unreciprocated. It can feel like you're pulling all the weight to keep the relationship afloat. Over time, this can lead to frustration and emotional burnout. The lack of reciprocation can make you question the partnership's equality. You might feel like you're constantly giving without getting anything in return. This unbalanced effort can create a sense of disconnect, as if your needs and contributions are secondary. It's challenging to maintain a healthy relationship when the scales of effort tip unfavorably. The quiet resentment from unreciprocated efforts can sour the relationship over time. 14. Feeling Like A Second Priority Everyone has busy lives, but feeling like you're not a priority can be hurtful. You might find that work, hobbies, or other commitments take precedence over your relationship. This sidelining can make you feel undervalued, as if you're competing for your partner's attention. It's tough to feel emotionally connected when you're not a priority. Over time, this can lead to feelings of loneliness and resentment. Feeling like a second priority can chip away at your sense of importance in the relationship. You might start to feel isolated, as if your partner's interests matter more than your bond. This imbalance can create a divide, making it challenging to feel fully supported. It's hard to invest in a relationship when you don't feel like a priority, leading to emotional distance. The quiet resentment from not being prioritized can fester over time. 15. Ignoring Red Flags It's easy to overlook red flags, especially early in the relationship. You might find yourself dismissing small issues in hopes they'll resolve themselves. Over time, these issues can grow into significant problems, causing resentment and frustration. Ignoring red flags can lead to a buildup of unspoken tension and unmet needs. It's challenging to address issues when they've been swept under the rug for so long. The longer red flags go unaddressed, the more they can harm the relationship. You might feel like you're walking on eggshells, trying to avoid conflict. This avoidance can create a cycle of resentment, making it difficult to feel secure in your relationship. It's crucial to address red flags early to prevent long-term damage. The silent resentment from ignoring red flags can create a toxic environment over time. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
13 hours ago
- Business
- Yahoo
Clifford Chance partners pocket record £2.1mn
Clifford Chance partners pocketed record average earnings of £2.1mn in the year to the end of April, after investment in the US and Error in retrieving data Sign in to access your portfolio Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data Error in retrieving data
Yahoo
a day ago
- Health
- Yahoo
67% of us experience parasomnias — expert shares 5 most common types and why they happen
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. Experiencing a parasomnia, like sleep walking, can feel disturbing. Sleepwalking isn't the only parasomnia, though — other sleep conditions such as sleep paralysis, bed wetting and even sleep talking can be classed as a parasomnia. So what causes them? From stress and trauma, to lifestyle habits and medications (or even genetics) — there are many factors that can be responsible for parasomnias. Considering 67% of us experience parasomnias, we want to find out more. So, we're exploring what the most common parasomnias are, talking to sleep experts about why they affect some people more than others and strategies to manage or stop them to help you sleep better. What are parasomnias? Parasomnias are behaviours that occur during sleep, such as 'sleepwalking, sleep talking, or night terrors,' explains Dr Hamilton Gaiani, a double board-certified psychiatrist. He adds that these parasomnias are usually associated with 'stress, nervousness, or previous traumatic experiences.' 'For instance, sleepwalking occurs when the brain is not fully awake but the body is walking around, something that may occur when you're stressed or overwhelmed,' he explains. So, what's happening to the body when you're experiencing a parasomnia? Sleep expert Dr Lindsay Browning adds that they can be categorised as non-rapid eye movement (NREM) parasomnias or rapid eye movement (REM) parasomnias depending on which part of sleep they occur. She explains that there is another category called 'other parasomnias': 'This covers parasomnias that do not fit neatly into either the REM or NREM classifications." "NREM parasomnias typically occur in the first third of the night, whereas REM parasomnias tend to occur in the latter half of the night,' she adds. The 5 most common types of parasomnias explained There are many types of parasomnias, but these 5 are the most common. 1. Sleep walking Browning explains that someone who is sleepwalking is 'not fully conscious, but they may open their eyes, get up out of bed, walk downstairs, open the fridge, and even eat something, before going back to bed again.' Sleep walking might seem like a bit of a novelty, but this parasomnia can pose many dangers — especially if the walker leaves their house. 2. Sleep talking If you've ever been woken up by someone talking next to you, and they are fast asleep, they could be sleep talking. 'Sleep talking (or somniloquy) is a parasomnia where someone may start talking, mumbling, or shouting during their sleep without being aware that they're doing so,' the sleep expert explains. 'It can occur in any sleep stage but is most common in NREM sleep,' she adds. 3. Sleep paralysis A scary feeling to wake up to, explains that sleep paralysis is 'a state where you become paralyzed and cannot move or talk while falling asleep or waking up.' He explains that it's often linked to stress, anxiety or insufficient sleep condition could be more common than you think, with one study showing that 4 in 10 of us have experienced it. 4. Night terrors and nightmare disorder Night terrors are short episodes of fear or terror that seem to occur during deep sleep, says Dr. Gaiani. 'They may result in activity such as screaming, thrashing, or pounding heart.' 'The individual typically does not recall the episode in the morning. Night terrors are a parasomnia since they interrupt normal sleep and are usually precipitated by trauma or stress,' he explains. The reason individuals don't remember these episodes is because they usually take place during NREM sleep. 5. Bedwetting Wetting the bed while you sleep can be a traumatic experience, explains sleep expert Dr. Leah Kaylor. She explains that it's classed as a parasomnia because it 'happens during sleep without conscious control over the bladder.' This is a parasomnia which is more common in children, but adults can also experience the condition due to extreme stress, trauma, health conditions or poor sleep habits. What causes parasomnias? 'Parasomnias can be caused by a mix of physical, emotional, and environmental factors,' says Kaylor. She adds that one common cause is sleep deprivation. 'This is when the body doesn't get enough rest; it increases the chances of unusual brain activity during sleep.' Stress and anxiety are also major triggers Stress and anxiety are also major triggers, 'because they can make the brain more active during sleep, leading to disruptions like night terrors or sleepwalking,' she explains. But your sleep habits and lifestyle can also play a part. 'Irregular sleep schedules, such as going to bed at different times each night or doing shift work, can confuse the body's internal clock and increase the risk of parasomnias,' Dr Kaylor says. Genetics can also play a role as well as certain medications or substances, such as sleeping pills, stimulants or alcohol. How to stop parasomnias There are different ways to help manage parasomnias and even help to stop them, we've looked at a few solutions below but if you experience them frequently or their impacting your quality of life, you should speak with a specialist to find the right solution for you. Keeping a consistent sleep schedule Your body works off a sleep/wake cycle called the circadian rhythm. This is like a pre-programmed internal clock telling your body when to wake up and when to go to sleep. So keeping a consistent sleep schedule will allow your body to easily fall asleep and stay asleep, cycling through the individual sleep stages properly, which will help ward off parasomnia symptoms. Limit alcohol and other substances Although alcohol and other substances could relax you and help you initially get to sleep they could affect the quality of your sleep, says Browning. 'As alcohol affects sleep architecture, it can cause more fragmented and disturbed REM sleep in the latter part of the night, increasing the likelihood of parasomnias.' Try CBT Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) helps to change how we think and ultimately our actions. So, how can it stop parasomnias? 'CBT can help those dealing with the stress, anxiety, or trauma that causes sleep disorders or parasomnias - this is because it helps to alter the negative thought processes,' explains Improve sleep hygiene If you're being disrupted when you sleep it could be a good time to look at your sleep hygiene. So, what does this mean? Sleep hygiene refers to your environment and the habits you have that can impact your sleep. If you're waking up due to street lights or sunshine blaring into your bedroom it could be time to invest in black out blinds. If noise is the problem, then earplugs could be your best bet. Make sure where you sleep is also clutter free, well ventilated and has comfortable bedding — all key things to help you get a better night's sleep. Medication If none of the lifestyle solutions above help to cure your parasomnia then it may be worth looking at medications to help you. But always consult a physician or doctor before starting any medication (especially if it hasn't been prescribed for you) to make sure it's the right option.
Yahoo
a day ago
- Yahoo
Why I prefer physical controls over touch panels on my headphones
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. I am currently putting the Nothing Headphone (1) through their paces, and one thing has stood out to me. The physical controls. The audio cues that play when changing volume or activating features could be a bit less... piercing, but using them with my fingers is so much more satisfying than the swiping touch panels of the competition. I've never made it a secret that I don't like touch controls on the best headphones, nor how much I far prefer actual, clicking buttons. But I've never gone into any kind of real detail about my preferences, and why they might matter to you, too. Touch shenanigans But first, why don't I like touch controls? It's all about ease of use, or the lack thereof, when it comes to touch panels on headphones. I don't like remembering three different sets of taps and swipes for different commands, or having to tap different parts of a panel to activate different features. It doesn't feel intuitive, nice under the finger, and often leads to miss-taps that leave me listening to something completely different than when I went to change the volume. Even the best touch panels on headphones can be terribly inaccurate as well, and sometimes aren't sensitive enough to read anything but a hefty jab of your finger. That's to say nothing about when it's raining — then they become all but completely useless. Yeah, buttons please. Pleasingly tactile Tactility is important. It's the whole reason we all use physical keyboards when we do any real typing, as opposed to tapping out a quick text on your phone screen. Why the buttons on your TV remote exist, and why you can't stop playing with those fidget toys that are covered with buttons and switches. Headphones, in my mind, are no different. When I reach up to my ear (which I can't see, given that my eyes are on the front of my head), physical controls are immediately easier to find than a nebulous touch panel. The 'satisfaction' factor is hard to overcome as well. There will always remain something far better about a clicking button than swiping your finger over a touch pad — it's human nature. When it gets cold When there's a chill in the air, I like to don some gloves to help keep my fingers lovely and toasty warm. I also like to listen to my tunes, my headphones snug under my woolly hat. But — oh no! A track I don't like plays in my artist radio, and now I need to skip it. My engloved fingers desire to remain warm, and because my woolly gloves don't have those ever-unreliable touch-sensitive tips that seem to rub off after three weeks of use, I have to take them off to operate my phone. Not happening — I can see my breath, I don't want frostbite. But the same problem arises with touch controls on headphones. The moment I raise my wool-wrapped fingers to my ears, I realize they're not going to cooperate with the headphones. Gloves off, music changed, and frostbite is setting in. So long, left index finger, you've been so good to me. Que an alternate day, when the same thing happens while I'm wearing enbuttoned headphones. Oh! I don't have to take my gloves off — the buttons work with my wool-covered fingers. Warm hands, no frostbite, my digits live to click headphones buttons for another day. A touch of premium One thing I've noticed (that I really like) is that the higher up the price scale you go with headphones, the more likely they are to forgo annoying touches and swipes in exchange for physical buttons. The AirPods Max, for example, pack in that wonderful volume dial and ANC key. The Dali IO-8 have their metal button roundel on the earcup. The Bowers & Wilkins PX7 S3 have the switches and buttons that lie on the outside of the right ear. They all feel more satisfying and they're much easier to use than the touchy-feely alternatives that you'll find on the likes of the Bose QuietComfort Ultra headphones or the Sony WH-1000XM5. More from Tom's Guide I tested out Sonos' new features, but one surprised me more than the others 6 top new movies to stream this week on Netflix, HBO Max, Hulu and more (July 15-21) I just tried the new Samsung DeX on the Galaxy Z Flip 7 to replace my laptop — here's the good and the bad
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Health
- Yahoo
Forget crunches — a Pilates instructor shares 9 exercises to target your deep core
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. When we talk about deep core muscles, we don't mean a six-pack of rippling muscles. Your deep core refers to a group of muscles sitting deep in the torso that work to stabilize your body. They include the transverse abdominis, diaphragm, and pelvic floor, and they protect your spine as you move. A lot of the exercises you might typically see in ab workouts include sit-ups and crunches, which mainly target the outer abdominal muscles. In this five-minute workout, Pilates instructor and physiotherapist, Lilly Sabri, takes you through nine different exercises that really target your deep core. As a reminder, if you're new to Pilates or you're returning to exercise from an injury or pregnancy, it's always a good idea to check in with a professional before taking on a new exercise regimen. What are the exercises? The exercises included in the workout are as follows. You'll do each exercise for 30 seconds. You won't be taking any breaks, but feel free to press pause should you need. This workout is designed to be used as a warm-up or cool-down to blast your core. Pilates hundreds Pilates toe taps Single-leg stretch Full-body extension Double-leg extensions Flutter kicks Full roll up V-sit with torso twist V-sit with twist and leg lift For all of the exercises mentioned above, it's important to ensure that you're moving with good form, with your lower back pressed into the exercise mat. If you're struggling to do this, focus on engaging your core, thinking about squeezing your belly button into your spine. What are the benefits? Like all good Pilates workouts, these exercises work on the muscles in your midsection, especially those all-important deep core muscles and pelvic floor. While one workout alone won't dramatically change your body, over time, strengthening your core muscles will help protect your spine from injury, and build balance and stability in the body, reducing your risk of falls. If you're postpartum, working on your pelvic floor muscles is especially important, and abdominal exercises like this are a good place to start (once you've got the sign off from your doctor). Childbirth weakens the abdominal and pelvic floor muscles, which support organs like the bladder, bowels, and uterus. Weak pelvic floor muscles can lead to issues like incontinence. Far from being an aesthetic goal, a strong core can also help you sit, walk, and run with better posture. Your core is the link between your upper and lower body, so whether you're a runner or a cyclist, a strong core will help improve your athletic performance and endurance. Finally, Pilates helps build functional strength in your body. Functional fitness refers to your ability to do everyday activities, like getting out of bed, lifting objects, or just sitting with good posture at your desk. Your deep core is responsible for a lot of day-to-day movements, so practicing how to engage it is about building a strong foundation for a healthier, pain-free life. Follow Tom's Guide on Google News to get our up-to-date news, how-tos, and reviews in your feeds. Make sure to click the Follow button. More from Tom's Guide Forget weights — I tried this Pilates roll-up exercise that strengthens your core and boosts your posture The 8 best core workouts to build stronger abs and boost your balance without weights Forget planks — this dumbbell workout tones and strengthens core muscle in just 15 minutes
