Latest news with #privilege
Daily Mail
2 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Tragic spiral that caused 'reclusive' heiress to $2.7 billion fortune to retreat into the shadows: How Athina Onassis was haunted by childhood grief and humiliating heartbreak - as she slowly steps back into public life
She was born into enormous wealth and privilege yet billionaire heiress Athina Onassis - the only surviving member of the 'cursed' Greek shipping dynasty - has spent her life shunning the limelight. Known for her reclusive tendencies, the French-Greek equestrian, 40, has spent much of her adult life holed up in her heavily fortified mansion in the Campine, an area of outstanding natural beauty on the border between Belgium and the Netherlands. Unlike other socialites, who often can't resist the multitude of invitations they no doubt receive to lavish soirées and glittering public occasions, Athina has instead poured all her energies into her professional stables near Valkenswaard in Holland. Because despite her vast inheritance, the granddaughter of Aristotle Onassis – the Greek shipping tycoon who married Jackie Kennedy while in a long-term romance with opera singer Maria Callas - has been a victim of the so-called 'Onassis Curse', suffering tragedy after tragedy. Athina's mother Christina died of a heart attack brought on by years of eating disorders at the age of 37, when her only child was just three years old. Fifteen years earlier, Christina's brother Alexander was killed in a plane crash, and their mother, Athina 'Tina' Onassis, died of a drug overdose the following year in 1974. Months later, Aristotle, who never recovered from his heir's death, passed away from bronchial pneumonia. Athina was also embroiled in romantic woes; her ex-husband was reportedly found in bed with a one-night stand in the $2million home that the heiress bought in Wellington, Florida in 2016. Since then she has only been seen a handful of times. Her most recent outing came last week as she made her second public appearance in recent times, suggesting she might be turning over a new leaf. The aristocrat - daughter of French businessman Thierry Roussel and socialite Christina - attended the exclusive Bal d'Été, directed by Sofia Coppola, in Paris on the first Sunday in July. Her attendance at the exclusive ball comes just four months after Athina stepped into the limelight for the first time in three years at a charity art event hosted by the Amis du Centre Pompidou in France. For the inaugural Bal d'Étém, which welcomes 300 A-Listers, at the Musée des Arts Décoratifs, Athina put on a stunning display in a flowing red dress with a plunging neckline. Before entering the black-tie event, Athina posed for photographs with her guest, who sported an equally glamorous look. The equestrian joined celebrities including Kiera Knightley, Kirsten Dunst, and Anna Wintour at the gala, which strives to lean on its rich and famous guests to raise money for the hosting museum. In March, Athina was snapped at an art event hosted by the Amis du Centre Pompidou in Paris, where she switched out her golden tresses for chocolate brown strands, which she wore in an elegant blow-dry. The socialite donned a black lace dress, along with a glitzy sequin blazer and wore a silver jewelled crucifix around her neck. She posed for a picture with Ines de Cominges, the only daughter of Count and Countess Rafael de Cominges of Madrid, and artist Arnaud Cabri-Wiltzer. Before her appearances this year, Athina, a keen showjumper, was seen in June 2022, when she competed at the Longines Paris Eiffel Jumping show at Champ de Mars. The heiress - who on her 18th birthday was given access to her late mother's $2.7billion fortune - has stayed firmly out of the spotlight throughout her adult years, choosing to keep her personal life under wraps. She has only been seen a handful of times following the breakdown of her ten-year marriage to 'Doda' Álvaro de Miranda Neto in 2016. learned that 'Doda' Miranda, who was formerly part of Brazil's Olympic showjumping team, was discovered in bed with another woman by his wife's security team. A well-connected member of the international show jumping circuit told the Mail that Athina's security team busted him 'having sex with another woman'. 'He begged them not to say anything, but one of them went straight to Athina. She immediately packed her bags and went off to Europe,' the source said. 'It was apparently a one-night stand, there was nothing serious going on between them.' Doda spoke to Brazilian magazine Epoca at the time and said: 'I am really in the midst of a storm. But I will not give up on my love. It won't be easy but I will fight until the end.' However following their divorce, he has since gone on to marry another woman, journalist Denize Severo, and has welcomed two children. Athina, then 20, and her ex, aged 32 at the time, were married in front of 1,300 guests in December 2005 in a specially constructed Roman Catholic church at a resort in Sao Paulo. However, her father was also not among the loved ones invited to the nuptials. Instead, Miranda's father Ricardo led Athina down the aisle. Thierry fathered a son with Swedish model Gaby Landhage while Christina was pregnant, and the couple split shortly after Athina was born. After Christina's death, Athina went to live with Roussel and Gaby. But now, Athina is believed to have no contact with her father and has even dropped his last name. Alexis Mantheakis - the family's former spokesman and then Athina's biographer - told the Irish Times in 2005: 'Athina is the third generation Onassis woman to marry young, and to an older man. 'But, like all fathers, Thierry wants the best for his daughter. He would, for example, have liked her to go to university. 'It's her life, of course, but Thierry isn't very happy at her being so young and living so far away - and, understandably, that has put strain on the relationship.' For Athina and her ex-husband, tragedy befell the pair well before their marriage broke down. In 2011, the Mail on Sunday learned that Doda's ex-lover Cibele Dorsa - with whom he had a daughter - hurled herself to her death in the early hours of March 26, from her luxurious seventh-floor flat. The beautiful but troubled 36-year-old actress and Playboy model left behind suicide notes in which she spoke about the arrangement under which the heiress and Miranda were bringing up her daughter Vivienne and Fernando, her son from a previous relationship. The boy was born to Cibele during her first marriage, to Brazilian businessman Fernando Oliva Snr. She agreed to hand over the children to Athina and Doda, but missed the youngsters so unbearably that, she said in one of her last notes, it felt as if 'my heart has been cut out'. 'Cibele decided to do this. It was her decision to allow the children to live with Athina and Doda,' Mr Oliva told The Mail on Sunday. 'Her life was very complicated. She was a working actress, emotional and unstable. With Athina and Doda they have a very simple and healthy lifestyle.' Mr Mantheakis, a former aide to Athina's father, also said: 'It seems the Onassis curse has struck again. I am sure everyone thought they were taking the best decisions but, according to her last messages, Cibele was despondent that she had given up the children. 'This poor woman saw herself as Athina's rival but she had little to fight her with except her looks. She felt she was no match for this billionaire heiress who was younger and had enormous riches, fame and power. 'The Onassis money caused nothing but problems. I am sure the children will grow up in a good environment but the question is whether anything can make up for the loss of the mother who loved them very much.' It had been a tough time to endure for Cibele, who was due to marry Brazilian TV presenter, Gilberto Scarpa, that month. But weeks earlier, he had fallen to his death from the window of her flat in an apparent suicide. Cibele later wrote on Facebook: 'To live without my two children and without the love of my life has wounded my whole self.' A Brazilian magazine reported that it had received a statement from Doda, saying: 'I don't have to defend myself against criticism by Cibele. 'I have many emails from her, praising me as a father who never failed to give her moral and financial support.' Meanwhile, Miranda told a Brazilian magazine in 2011 that he and Athina intended to start a family within a few years. 'Athina is still very young,' he said, adding that having a baby would interrupt her budding showjumping career. 'I also have a very busy life,' he said. 'When a baby comes I want to reduce the number of competitions to be more present.' Athina reportedly became pregnant in 2013 but suffered a miscarriage. Prior to their divorce, Miranda said that Athina spent much of her time looking after Vivienne, his daughter with model Cibele. But Athina's marriage breakdown is not the first heartbreak she has endured - after tragically losing her mother at the age of three. In her early childhood, Christina bonded with her daughter and gave Athina her own flock of sheep, complete with a shepherd, when she learned the nursery rhyme Baa Baa Black Sheep. She also gave her a private zoo. It was previously reported that Christina had died of a heart attack brought on by years of eating disorders. Athina was reportedly the richest teenage girl in the world when she inherited her mother's $2.7billion fortune when she turned 18. However, her fortune has been badly managed over the years, experts say, and she sold Aristotle's private Greek island, Skorpios, to Russian billionaire Ekaterina Rybolovleva in 2013 for an estimated $100million. Despite being one of the wealthiest families in the world, the Onassis dynasty has famously been plagued by tragedy. A decade and a half earlier, Christina had lost her entire family in little more than two years. Her 24-year-old brother Alexander was killed in a plane crash in January, 1973, and their mother, also called Athina, died of a drug overdose the following year. Aristotle, who never recovered from his son's death, then passed away from bronchial pneumonia in March 1975. Christina had four marriages, none of them lasting over three years. Athina (whose father was Christina's final husband, French pharmaceutical heir Thierry Roussel) was her only child. Athina is now the only living Onassis grandchild of Aristotle. Aristotle is the man often credited to accruing the family's wealth by massing one of the world's largest privately-owned shopping fleet; after, despite having an opulent upbringing, losing their wealth in the aftermath of World War I. But by the early 20s, he made his way to Argentina and found work as a telephone operator with the British United River Plate Telephone Company - while also studying commerce and port-duty administration. Eventually, he made his fortune with his first shipping company, going onwards and upwards. But his love life - and reputation - was far from smooth-sailing. Aristotle was 40 when he first married teenage Athina Mary 'Tina' Livanos, 23 years his junior - and the pair had Alexander and Christina. But the couple's union had deteriorated over the years, plagued by Aristotle's cheating - he famously had a very well known affair with opera singer Maria Callas. However, it appeared that Aristotle's reputation began to fester far worse beyond infidelity. In a 2021 biography about Maria's life, drawing on her previously unpublished letters, it was claimed that she was regularly drugged by her violent lover - the Greek shipping tycoon. 'Callas the singer may have had the upper hand in the music world but Maria the woman was a victim of circumstance,' according to biographer Lyndsy Spence, author of Cast A Diva: The Hidden Life Of Maria Callas. The correspondence with her husband and agent, Giovanni Battista Meneghini, showed that 'she was really so subvervient and obedient to him, and I started to realise that is who she was as a woman', Spence told the Daily Mail at the time. 'She was such a submissive person and that really contrasts with Callas the diva. And when you're that way inclined, of course you attract abusers.' And that includes Meneghini, Aristotle and even her own parents, added her biographer. Nobody abused her quite like brutish Aristotle, however,; she claimed. He 'tortured' her emotionally and physically during their relationship before cruelly and infamously dumping her for Jackie Kennedy whom he married in 1968. From the diaries of a close friend of Maria, Spence has discovered that Aristotle would ply the singer with the powerful hypnotic sedative methaqualone, also known as Mandrax, to which she became addicted along with Nembutal, a barbiturate used as a pre-anaesthetic. She took it willingly, but with Maria effectively sedated, Aristotle — whose 'depraved' sexual requests shocked even the notorious Paris brothel keeper Madame Claude — was able to sexually abuse the singer in demeaning ways, says her biographer, she wouldn't have permitted if she had been fully conscious. Spence also claimed that Maria was at the time already suffering from 'mental health issues' as she coped with the twin pressures of her career and ageing. These were compounded by her discovery that Aristotle was making heavy use of Madame Claude's 'girls' and even had the bedroom at his Paris home decorated like a brothel.
Yahoo
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
A furious Chinese internet takes on privilege
This was supposed to be a breakout year for Chinese actress Nashi, with major roles in two blockbuster films and a highly anticipated TV drama. But then in June, the 35-year-old's star crashed as a furore over her exam scores from more than a decade ago sparked a backlash online – and eventually an official investigation into her academic record. The fallout was immediate. Her name was scrubbed from the credits of the drama, Lychees in Chang'an, and brands began cutting ties. She joins a growing list of people facing intense scrutiny in China over their privilege, with authorities launching investigations to appease public anger. In recent months, these viral scandals have hit two actresses, a Harvard graduate, and a doctor from a top Beijing hospital: all young women. They were accused of leveraging family connections to gain unfair advantage. "There's privilege every year, but this year there's more than ever," says one user on Weibo. Another wrote: "I would love to see more scandals like this. They are truly eye-opening." Frustrated with rising unemployment and a slowing economy, more and more young Chinese people feel that connections, or guanxi, pay off more than hard work, research shows. Nashi, for instance, was accused of using her actress mother's connections to enrol in a prestigious drama school. The programme, which her mother attended in the 1980s, was for ethnic Mongolian students like them. But then old interview clips resurfaced, in which she had said she didn't fulfil a key obligation - she went to study in Norway after graduating, instead of returning to work in Inner Mongolia as required by the programme. Speculation grew in early June, just as millions of high school seniors sat for the gruelling university entrance exam called Gaokao – the same exam that earned Nashi a spot at the drama school in 2008. Internet sleuths dug up the lowest scores for that year and suspected they were hers. Did she only go to the drama school because of her mum, they asked. It was a serious enough allegation that officials eventually stepped in to clarify that she had a much higher score. But it was not enough. The scandal that started it all Internet scandals are hardly unique to China but they have become a much-needed outlet – for anger, questions or just disappointment - in a tightly-censored society. Independent media is almost non-existent, leaving a lot of room for unchecked speculation and just plain rumours to spread rapidly through China's vast social media universe. And in some cases, users online have done their own investigations to verify allegations and unearth wrongdoing. That is what happened in April when two doctors - identified only by their surnames, Mr Xiao and Ms Dong – at a top Beijing hospital found themselves caught in a national storm over an alleged love affair. Mr Xiao's wife wrote a letter to his employer accusing him of favouring Ms Dong at work because the two were in a relationship. Among her many allegations was one that eventually cost him his job: she said he had left a sedated patient unattended on the operating table for 40 minutes to defend Ms Dong during a dispute with a nurse. It was a shocking episode but it quickly became so much more, as attention shifted to Ms Dong. An angry internet found out that she had finished studying to be a doctor in just four years, compared to the minimum of eight years. They accused her of cheating her way into an elite programme at China's most prestigious medical school, Peking Union Medical College, and plagiarising her graduation thesis. So intense was the backlash that the National Health Commission investigated and confirmed the allegations. Authorities revoked Ms Dong's licence to practise medicine and her degrees, hoping that would put an end to the controversy. Her clinical experience – which stretched across various specialties – also came under scrutiny, along with her family's political ties. But officials didn't respond to those accusations, raising further questions about a cover-up. "There were failures at every step. There's no way they'll dig any deeper," says a young doctor in Qingdao city who did not wish to share her name. It is not uncommon for people to use "guanxi" to help their children find jobs, she says, but what bothers her is the "deep-rooted unfairness". Having spent 11 years to become a resident like Ms Dong, she says she and her colleagues had never heard of the programme Ms Dong graduated from: "We were all shocked when we learnt about it. Clearly, it's not meant for ordinary people like us." This scandal particularly stung in hyper-competitive China where doctors work gruelling hours to earn a residency at top hospitals, or just to hold on to the jobs they do have. "Why is everything so unfair," she asked, echoing the disillusionment that was widespread in the comments online. "We work tirelessly treating patients with the utmost care - as if we were their grandchildren. Yet our life is far worse than [Ms] Dong's." It was this discontent that also drove the outrage against Harvard graduate Yurong Luanna Jiang in June. She drew attention after her speech at a graduation ceremony went viral the same day a US federal judge blocked US President Donald Trump's ban on foreign students at Harvard. When she shared the video online, she spoke of a difficult childhood, spent "drifting from place to place", and how studying hard had given her everything she now had. At first she was applauded for calling for unity in a polarised world - even some Chinese people commented saying they were touched by her words. But her social media posts soon irked the Chinese internet, which then began examining her resume and challenging her claim that hard work alone had led to her success. Her critics did not sympathise with her challenges – they found holes in every story and when she pushed back, they doubled down. She seemed to be yet another reminder of the narrowing opportunities that faced many young Chinese people. Sluggish post-Covid growth has brought layoffs, salary cuts and hiring freezes. Millions of graduates are struggling to find jobs, settling for lower-paid work or quitting the race altogether. One user on RedNote said she had been posting online in anger about these scandals only to find out hours later that a job offer she had accepted was retracted because the company had paused hiring. "Sure enough, the things you weren't born with, you'll never have in this lifetime," she wrote. 'You know what you know' This anger is not new. For some time now, the Chinese government has been censoring excessive displays of wealth by celebrities and influencers. But there are things that escape even their watchful eye, such as a pair of earrings. Scandal came for actress Huang Yang Tian Tian when a suspicious internet began speculating that earrings she had recently worn cost more than ¥2.3 million ($320,000; £237,100). They began questioning how she could afford them and discovered that her father was a civil servant-turned-businessman. Then they found out that he had worked in the local government in Ya'an, which was hit by a devastating earthquake in 2008. The controversy blew up with more questions about the family's wealth, and insinuations that they had profited from post-quake recovery funds. Authorities denied this and said Ms Huang's earrings, made of glass, were a cheap replica of a luxury pair. But not everyone believes them. "You know what you know," reads one Weibo comment with more than 1,000 likes. "Were the officials laughing?" another user asks. While the Chinese Communist Party is concerned enough to launch investigations, their swift response does not seem to be enough. "The loss of public trust didn't happen in a day or two," writes a user on RedNote. "It's the result of one investigation after another that insults our intelligence, one unresolved incident after another." Public frustration lingers as the Party tries to grapple with increasing discontent. And its message to young people is they should "eat bitterness", a Chinese phrase for enduring hardship, in the pursuit of "national rejuvenation". But online, one of the few places where Chinese people still speak openly, that message seems to be ringing hollow as people debate the advantages enjoyed by "the elites", often simply referred to as "they". "They are the reason why we worked so hard for three generations and are still in misery," a top-liked comment on Weibo reads. Another comment on RedNote, where no-one in particular is being accused, says: "We earn money one cent at a time, while they embezzle hundreds of millions - and then they teach us that hard work leads to prosperity and that labour is honourable." A restless Gen Z is reshaping the Chinese Dream Xi Jinping is worried about the economy - what do Chinese people think?
BBC News
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- BBC News
A furious Chinese internet takes on privilege
This was supposed to be a breakout year for Chinese actress Nashi, with major roles in two blockbuster films and a highly anticipated TV then in June, the 35-year-old's star crashed as a furore over her exam scores from more than a decade ago sparked a backlash online – and eventually an official investigation into her academic fallout was immediate. Her name was scrubbed from the credits of the drama, Lychees in Chang'an, and brands began cutting joins a growing list of people facing intense scrutiny in China over their privilege, with authorities launching investigations to appease public recent months, these viral scandals have hit two actresses, a Harvard graduate, and a doctor from a top Beijing hospital: all young women. They were accused of leveraging family connections to gain unfair advantage."There's privilege every year, but this year there's more than ever," says one user on Weibo. Another wrote: "I would love to see more scandals like this. They are truly eye-opening."Frustrated with rising unemployment and a slowing economy, more and more young Chinese people feel that connections, or guanxi, pay off more than hard work, research for instance, was accused of using her actress mother's connections to enrol in a prestigious drama programme, which her mother attended in the 1980s, was for ethnic Mongolian students like them. But then old interview clips resurfaced, in which she had said she didn't fulfil a key obligation - she went to study in Norway after graduating, instead of returning to work in Inner Mongolia as required by the grew in early June, just as millions of high school seniors sat for the gruelling university entrance exam called Gaokao – the same exam that earned Nashi a spot at the drama school in sleuths dug up the lowest scores for that year and suspected they were hers. Did she only go to the drama school because of her mum, they asked. It was a serious enough allegation that officials eventually stepped in to clarify that she had a much higher it was not enough. The scandal that started it all Internet scandals are hardly unique to China but they have become a much-needed outlet – for anger, questions or just disappointment - in a tightly-censored media is almost non-existent, leaving a lot of room for unchecked speculation and just plain rumours to spread rapidly through China's vast social media universe. And in some cases, users online have done their own investigations to verify allegations and unearth is what happened in April when two doctors - identified only by their surnames, Mr Xiao and Ms Dong – at a top Beijing hospital found themselves caught in a national storm over an alleged love affair. Mr Xiao's wife wrote a letter to his employer accusing him of favouring Ms Dong at work because the two were in a relationship. Among her many allegations was one that eventually cost him his job: she said he had left a sedated patient unattended on the operating table for 40 minutes to defend Ms Dong during a dispute with a was a shocking episode but it quickly became so much more, as attention shifted to Ms Dong. An angry internet found out that she had finished studying to be a doctor in just four years, compared to the minimum of eight accused her of cheating her way into an elite programme at China's most prestigious medical school, Peking Union Medical College, and plagiarising her graduation intense was the backlash that the National Health Commission investigated and confirmed the allegations. Authorities revoked Ms Dong's licence to practise medicine and her degrees, hoping that would put an end to the clinical experience – which stretched across various specialties – also came under scrutiny, along with her family's political ties. But officials didn't respond to those accusations, raising further questions about a cover-up."There were failures at every step. There's no way they'll dig any deeper," says a young doctor in Qingdao city who did not wish to share her is not uncommon for people to use "guanxi" to help their children find jobs, she says, but what bothers her is the "deep-rooted unfairness".Having spent 11 years to become a resident like Ms Dong, she says she and her colleagues had never heard of the programme Ms Dong graduated from: "We were all shocked when we learnt about it. Clearly, it's not meant for ordinary people like us."This scandal particularly stung in hyper-competitive China where doctors work gruelling hours to earn a residency at top hospitals, or just to hold on to the jobs they do have."Why is everything so unfair," she asked, echoing the disillusionment that was widespread in the comments online."We work tirelessly treating patients with the utmost care - as if we were their grandchildren. Yet our life is far worse than [Ms] Dong's." It was this discontent that also drove the outrage against Harvard graduate Yurong Luanna Jiang in drew attention after her speech at a graduation ceremony went viral the same day a US federal judge blocked US President Donald Trump's ban on foreign students at Harvard. When she shared the video online, she spoke of a difficult childhood, spent "drifting from place to place", and how studying hard had given her everything she now first she was applauded for calling for unity in a polarised world - even some Chinese people commented saying they were touched by her words. But her social media posts soon irked the Chinese internet, which then began examining her resume and challenging her claim that hard work alone had led to her critics did not sympathise with her challenges – they found holes in every story and when she pushed back, they doubled seemed to be yet another reminder of the narrowing opportunities that faced many young Chinese post-Covid growth has brought layoffs, salary cuts and hiring freezes. Millions of graduates are struggling to find jobs, settling for lower-paid work or quitting the race user on RedNote said she had been posting online in anger about these scandals only to find out hours later that a job offer she had accepted was retracted because the company had paused hiring."Sure enough, the things you weren't born with, you'll never have in this lifetime," she wrote. 'You know what you know' This anger is not new. For some time now, the Chinese government has been censoring excessive displays of wealth by celebrities and influencers. But there are things that escape even their watchful eye, such as a pair of came for actress Huang Yang Tian Tian when a suspicious internet began speculating that earrings she had recently worn cost more than ¥2.3 million ($320,000; £237,100).They began questioning how she could afford them and discovered that her father was a civil servant-turned-businessman. Then they found out that he had worked in the local government in Ya'an, which was hit by a devastating earthquake in controversy blew up with more questions about the family's wealth, and insinuations that they had profited from post-quake recovery funds. Authorities denied this and said Ms Huang's earrings, made of glass, were a cheap replica of a luxury not everyone believes them. "You know what you know," reads one Weibo comment with more than 1,000 likes. "Were the officials laughing?" another user the Chinese Communist Party is concerned enough to launch investigations, their swift response does not seem to be enough."The loss of public trust didn't happen in a day or two," writes a user on RedNote. "It's the result of one investigation after another that insults our intelligence, one unresolved incident after another."Public frustration lingers as the Party tries to grapple with increasing discontent. And its message to young people is they should "eat bitterness", a Chinese phrase for enduring hardship, in the pursuit of "national rejuvenation".But online, one of the few places where Chinese people still speak openly, that message seems to be ringing hollow as people debate the advantages enjoyed by "the elites", often simply referred to as "they"."They are the reason why we worked so hard for three generations and are still in misery," a top-liked comment on Weibo comment on RedNote, where no-one in particular is being accused, says: "We earn money one cent at a time, while they embezzle hundreds of millions - and then they teach us that hard work leads to prosperity and that labour is honourable."
The Sun
15-07-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
Does Constance Marten's time in controversial Nigerian sect hold key to her turn from society girl to convicted killer?
HAVING a son become a page to the monarch is one of the great honours for our blue-blooded families. So how did the daughter of aristocrat Napier Marten, who once served Queen Elizabeth in the role, end up eating food scavenged from bins and dumping her dead baby daughter in a Lidl bag in an allotment shed? 11 11 11 On the face of it, 38-year-old Constance Marten — who with her partner Mark Gordon, 51, was this week found guilty of the manslaughter of their 16-day-old daughter Victoria by gross negligence — was part of a very exclusive and privileged set. The trust fund heiress, worth £2.4million, appeared as society mag Tatler's 'babe of the month' when she was 18 and partied at the trendy Burning Man festival in the US. She was raised at her family's stately home, Crichel House in Dorset, which was used as a backdrop for 1996 Gwyneth Paltrow movie Emma. Her grandmother, Mary Marten, was a goddaughter of the Queen Mother and played with Princess Margaret as a child. But Constance's parents, Napier, 66, and mum Virginie de Selliers, 65, tried to escape the stuffy world of the upper classes to pursue 'alternative lifestyles'. When Constance, who has three brothers, was nine, Napier renounced his £115million inheritance and left the family to live in Australia, where he had an 'out-of-body experience' while with a group of Aborigines. Then when Constance was 19, her devout Christian mother took her to live with a controversial sect in Nigeria whose leader has been accused of rape and sexual violence. But it was meeting convicted rapist Gordon a decade later that was to see the former aristo begin a complete and tragic turn from her previous life. The couple had four children together, who were all taken into care, before they went on the run from authorities in January 2023 when she was pregnant with Victoria. At the time, Napier made a public appeal to her, saying: 'I would like you to understand that the family will do all that is needed for your wellbeing. Harrowing moment cop find remains of Constance Marten's baby Victoria stuffed in Lidl bag filled with rubbish 'I also wish you to understand you are much, much loved, whatever the circumstances.' A nationwide police search was launched when a placenta was found in the couple's burnt-out car at a motorway near Bolton on January 5, 2023. Two months later, Victoria's body was found in a shopping bag in a allotment shed in Brighton. It is believed she died of hyperthermia due to freezing conditions, with the couple living in a tent and scavenging for food. The horrific death is not the first controversy for the Marten family. Ancestor Sir Humphrey Sturt, who was the second Lord Alington, had an infamous affair with Queen Camilla's great-gran Alice Keppel. When Constance's great-grandfather, RAF Captain Napier Sturt, died aged 43 in an Egyptian hotel in 1940, his daughter Mary inherited the family estate. 11 She joined the Buckingham Palace Brownies unit with Princess Margaret and later married Royal Navy lieutenant commander Toby Marten. Their son Napier, though, felt his life was 'an empty shell'. He once said that every day he heard a voice telling him 'to shave my head and go to Australia'. This he did in 1996, leaving Belgian-born Virginie to look after their four children. A couple of years later she married wealthy banker Guy de Selliers, who raised Constance. The daughter, nicknamed Toots, was sent to the now-closed £30,000-a-year St Mary's Roman Catholic boarding school for girls in Dorset. Soon after she finished there, Virginie took her to the Synagogue Church of All Nations in Nigeria. It has been reported that she wished to instil some discipline into the free-spirited teenager. Virginie, who also took her daughter to religious summer camps in Britain, was one of many wealthy Western Europeans recruited to make a 'pilgrimage' to the church in Lagos in 2006. It was led by a charismatic pastor called TB Joshua, who claimed to heal sick people. The former poultry farm worker was known as The Prophet and 50,000 people would attend his services every week. Virginie is said to have only stayed for a week, but Constance remained in Lagos for three months. At that time the outside world was unaware of the terrible crimes alleged to have been committed by Joshua, who died four years ago aged 57. One of his followers Bisola Johnson claimed in 2019: 'I was sexually molested by TB Joshua. 'I was trapped in Synagogue Church for 14 years.' Others have since alleged that Joshua raped and sexually assaulted them. It has also emerged that women were expected to be naked in their dormitory and were restricted to four hours' sleep a night. Bisola remembered Constance, who she said: 'Took quite a lot of suppression to make her conform.' That independent mind lingered long enough for Constance to leave. The damage, though, had been done. Commenting about her time there in a blog in 2013, she wrote: 'Your character is completely broken apart, and it is difficult to explain to others.' Friends claimed that Constance was never the same after her escape from Joshua's clutches. After gaining a degree in Arabic studies from Leeds University, she travelled the world, spending a year in Egypt. She then studied journalism for a year before trying her hand at acting and switching to drama. But she dropped out of her course after meeting Gordon in a shop in London in 2014 before travelling with him to Peru in 2016. There they went through an unofficial marriage ritual. On her return to England, she told her friends and family that she did not want to be contacted again because she was going to live her life in a 'different way'. Searching for meaning with Gordon was even more of a mistake than anyone seeking enlightenment with JB Joshua. Unknown to Constance, her new boyfriend had been convicted of raping and abusing a woman at knifepoint over more than four hours in Florida in 1989. Aged 14 at the time of the offence, Gordon was given a 40-year prison sentence but only served half of it. Gordon is said to have controlled all aspects of Constance's life, including where she went and who she messaged. In disturbing echoes of her time with the religious sect she called Gordon 'Daddy Bear'. JB Joshua had insisted his disciples called him 'Daddy'. In November 2019 Constance ruptured her spleen and damaged her kidney when she fell out of a first-floor window while 14 weeks pregnant. Gordon was suspected of pushing her. Trust fund Before their eventual arrest in 2023, the couple were claiming benefits and sleeping rough while camped on wasteland behind a Tesco store. But Constance was still receiving £3,400 a month from a trust fund. Despite dad Napier turning his back on the 5,000-acre Crichel estate, including four villages, that he was supposed to inherit and choosing to become a tree surgeon and live in a converted shipping container, there was still plenty of money for his children. In 2013, Crichel House and parts of the land were sold to American billionaire Richard Chilton for £34million. Constance's parents tried to buy her a home and offered to look after her children when they were taken into care by social services. But she shunned their help. With bailiffs pursuing Constance and Gordon for £25,000 in debts, they moved from rented property to rented property, leaving even more bills behind. During her trial this month, Constance tried to claim she had to go on the run with her newborn because her parents were so opposed to her relationship with Gordon. She told the jury: 'I had to escape my family because my family are extremely oppressive and bigoted and they wouldn't allow me to have children with my husband. 11 11 'They'll do anything to erase that child from the family line, which is what they ended up doing.' Constance and Gordon were first tried in 2024, with Constance's mum Virginie turning up in court every day. In that trial, a jury found they had wilfully neglected baby Victoria. But they could not reach a verdict on charges of manslaughter, so the couple had to be retried this month. Having been found guilty on Monday of that more serious offence they now await sentencing. But with Judge Mark Lucraft KC blasting Marten and Gordon for the way they attempted to disrupt proceedings throughout the case, neither of them can expect leniency. Constance spent the latter years of her life seemingly trying to free herself from the expectations of the gilded life of her class. Now she seems certain to find herself constrained by the four small walls of a prison cell for years to come.
Yahoo
11-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Think Twice Before Saying These 15 Phrases Out Loud
Some phrases sound harmless—until they land wrong. Whether it's a casual comment or a supposedly helpful observation, words carry emotional weight. Often, it's not what we say, but what others hear underneath it. These 15 phrases might seem socially acceptable, but they often reveal more than you realize—privilege, judgment, passive aggression, or a deep discomfort with vulnerability. Think of them as quiet emotional IEDs. Avoiding them doesn't mean censoring yourself—it means communicating with more precision, empathy, and self-awareness. While this phrase may seem like a well-intentioned declaration of equality, it actually erases identity. According to a study from Harvard Business School, colorblindness in workplace interactions often leads to more racial bias—not less—by avoiding meaningful discussions about race. Saying 'I don't see color' can come off as dismissive rather than inclusive. True equity comes from recognizing differences and how they shape experiences. People want to be seen fully, not have key parts of their identity glossed over. Erasing race doesn't foster unity—it delays the real work of justice. This seemingly innocent question often carries an underlying assumption that being partnered is better. It can sound like a veiled judgment that someone's relationship status is a flaw rather than a choice. It also reinforces the idea that romantic coupling is a life benchmark, which isn't true for everyone. Even if meant as a compliment, it implies there's something puzzling about being happy alone. It may also put pressure on someone who doesn't want to justify their life choices. Curiosity isn't always harmless—it can sting when it's rooted in outdated norms. This phrase often signals that something blunt or unkind is about to follow. According to Dr. Harriet Lerner, author of *The Dance of Connection*, honesty without empathy is cruelty in disguise. 'I'm just being honest' is often used to mask passive aggression or dodge responsibility. It puts the speaker's need to unload above the listener's right to be spoken to with care. Honesty doesn't need a warning label if it's truly meant to build trust. If you have to defend your words that way, they probably weren't as thoughtful as you think. Using suffering elsewhere to diminish someone's current struggle isn't compassion—it's comparison. It doesn't soothe; it silences. When people are hurting, they don't need a reality check—they need to feel heard. This phrase tells people their pain isn't valid unless it's the worst imaginable. It turns empathy into a contest no one asked to enter. You don't need to solve someone's problems to honor their experience. Labeling someone 'too sensitive' is a classic gaslighting move, according to psychologist Dr. Robin Stern, author of *The Gaslight Effect*. It flips the focus from your behavior to their reaction, instantly undermining their emotional reality. Instead of listening, you're correcting them for how they feel. It's not feedback—it's dismissal. And once trust is broken by invalidation, it's hard to repair. Sensitivity isn't a flaw—it's often a strength in relationships and communication. This phrase can come off as a lazy spiritual bypass. It glosses over real pain in favor of a tidy philosophical comfort. Not everything is part of a grand plan—and saying so can feel like denying the messiness of life. Pain doesn't need a reason to be honored. People need empathy, not platitudes. Connection happens when you stay in the discomfort, not when you rationalize it away. Sociolinguist Deborah Tannen has noted that humor can act as both connection and aggression depending on the power dynamics. 'It's just a joke' is often a deflection when humor lands in a hurtful way. Instead of reflecting on what was said, the speaker shifts blame to the listener for being 'too serious.' Humor isn't harmless if it reinforces stereotypes or belittles others. If someone says they're hurt, take that seriously. Good jokes don't require damage control. Even if meant with concern, this phrase rarely lands as caring. It unintentionally points out someone's appearance in a way that may feel like a critique. 'Tired' can be read as unpolished, less attractive, or underperforming—all things no one wants called out unsolicited. Instead of guessing someone's state, ask how they're feeling or offer to help. Better yet, keep the focus on their well-being, not their face. Compassion is better received than commentary disguised as concern. When you say this, you're centering your intention over their interpretation—and that can be invalidating. Communication isn't just about what you said, but how it landed. Dismissing their reaction misses the point entirely. It's more constructive to ask, 'How did that make you feel?' or 'Can you tell me what you heard?' Acknowledging impact builds trust. Defending intent just builds walls. This phrase is a classic way to inflame rather than soothe. It implies the other person's reaction is too big or inappropriate, which is rarely helpful mid-conflict. In fact, it often sounds like control, not care. Telling someone to calm down doesn't acknowledge their emotional experience—it shuts it down. If you want to de-escalate, try validating their frustration first. People can regulate when they feel seen, not scolded. Saying this dismisses someone's emotional reality and immediately puts them on the defensive. It's a way to pathologize their feelings instead of understanding them. This doesn't de-escalate—it intensifies the sense of being misunderstood. A better route is curiosity: 'Can you help me understand why this matters so much to you?' People rarely overreact without a backstory. Empathy invites connection; judgment invites distance. This phrase can sound like you're placing yourself above others—even if you don't mean to. It often reads as either insecurity or superiority, depending on the tone. People don't need you to advertise your uniqueness—they'll feel it through your actions. Trying too hard to distinguish yourself can feel like a branding exercise, not authenticity. Let your values and presence speak. Real connection doesn't require distancing from everyone else to be special. This is a classic prelude to something offensive—it's a rhetorical Trojan horse. It attempts to dodge accountability while delivering a jab. Most people hear this as a warning sign, not a softener. If you have to say 'no offense,' it's worth asking if the comment needs to be said at all. It doesn't soften the impact; it signals that you expect pushback. Consider empathy before opinion-sharing—it's a better bridge builder. This phrase is usually more about our own limits than someone else's potential. It can sound judgmental, final, and cold—especially if said about someone struggling. Instead of identifying someone as 'hopeless,' it's worth exploring where the disconnect or fatigue is coming from. Compassion doesn't mean fixing everyone—it means not giving up on their humanity. Maybe they're not ready, or maybe they need something you can't give. But writing people off rarely comes from wisdom—it often comes from burnout or bias. This phrase cuts off the possibility of growth and signals an unwillingness to reflect. It may feel like authenticity, but it often acts as a defense against accountability. If you use this line, ask yourself whether it's true—or just comfortable. We're all works in progress, and claiming fixed traits ignores that truth. Real self-awareness includes the ability to adapt. If that's just how you are, make sure it's also who you want to be.
