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Yahoo
4 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
15 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Using You
Navigating relationships can be tricky, especially when you're trying to figure out if someone genuinely values you or if they're just using you. While it's normal for relationships to ebb and flow, there are certain behaviors that can be red flags. If you're unsure about someone's intentions, these telltale signs might shine a light on whether they're in it for the long haul or just for their own gain. Here are 15 behaviors that suggest someone might be using you. 1. They're Always Asking For Favors Ever feel like you're constantly doing things for a friend or partner, but the balance never seems to tip the other way? If they're always asking for favors and rarely reciprocating, it might be a sign they're using you. According to Dr. Susan Whitbourne, a professor of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, a truly balanced relationship involves both give and take. She suggests that if you're doing all the giving, it may be time to reassess the relationship. If you find yourself questioning their intentions, it might be worth discussing how you feel with them directly. Their requests might start small, like asking for help with errands, but they can quickly escalate into bigger asks. When you're the one always being leaned on, it can be exhausting and leave you feeling unappreciated. If they genuinely care about you, they should be just as willing to support you as you are them. Think about the last time they did something meaningful for you without expecting something in return. If you can't recall a recent instance, it might be time to evaluate their role in your life. 2. They Cancel Plans Last Minute Everyone has moments when plans need to change, but if someone is consistently canceling on you at the last minute, it could be a red flag. This behavior suggests they might not value your time as much as their own. Plans that are canceled repeatedly might mean they see you as a backup option rather than a priority. When you confront them about it, they might shrug it off with weak excuses or promises to make it up to you. If their actions don't match their words, it might be time to reconsider their place in your life. Being stood up or having plans fall through can make you feel like you're not important. You might find yourself waiting around for someone who values their own needs above yours. If they truly cared, they'd make an effort to stick to commitments, even if it requires some juggling on their end. Your time is valuable, and you deserve to spend it with people who honor that. Don't let someone make you feel like you're always going to be the second choice. 3. They Only Reach Out When They Need Something One of the more telling signs that someone might be using you is if they only reach out when they need something. If you notice a pattern where their texts or calls come right before they make a request, take note. Dr. Alex Forsythe, a psychologist at the University of Liverpool, points out that genuine friendships are built on mutual interest and shared experiences, not just convenience. If they only seem interested in you when they need a favor, it might be time to have a conversation about the imbalance. A relationship should feel like a two-way street, not a one-way ticket to Convenience Town. You deserve friends who check in on you just because they care, not just to hit you up for help. If you're always the one giving and their interactions feel transactional, it's a sign the relationship is off-kilter. It might be helpful to set boundaries or express how their behavior makes you feel. Real friends will understand and aim to adjust their behavior to maintain a healthy relationship. If they don't, it might be worth reconsidering their place in your life. 4. They Make You Feel Guilty For Saying No A relationship takes a turn for the worse when guilt becomes a frequent visitor. If saying no to someone results in you feeling guilty or being made to feel bad, that's a big red flag. Everyone has the right to say no, and a respectful friend or partner will understand and accept your decision. If they try to guilt-trip you into doing what they want, it shows a lack of respect for your boundaries. You shouldn't have to do things out of obligation or fear of their reaction. Recognize the emotional toll this behavior can take on you. It can lead to resentment, affect your self-esteem, and even strain other relationships. It's important to have the courage to stand firm on your boundaries and communicate how their behavior affects you. A genuine relationship should be free of manipulation and should not make you feel bad for prioritizing yourself. If they continue this behavior, it may be time to distance yourself. 5. They Rarely Show Appreciation Feeling unappreciated can be a major sign that someone is using you. If they rarely say thank you or acknowledge your efforts, it could mean they take you for granted. Research by psychologist Dr. Amie M. Gordon at the University of California, Berkeley, highlights that showing gratitude in relationships is crucial for both satisfaction and longevity. If appreciation is lacking, it might indicate they don't regard your contributions as valuable. Gratitude should be a regular part of any healthy relationship, not an occasional afterthought. Think back to the last time they genuinely thanked you or did something to show their appreciation. If those moments are few and far between, it's a sign they might be more focused on what they can gain rather than what they can give. A thank you or a small gesture of appreciation can go a long way in making someone feel valued. If this is missing in your relationship, it's a conversation worth having. Without appreciation, a relationship can quickly become one-sided and unfulfilling. 6. They Disappear When You Need Them It's telling when someone is always unavailable when you need support or assistance. If they suddenly vanish at the first sign of you needing something, it suggests they're not invested in the relationship. Support should be mutual, with both parties ready to lend a hand when necessary. You shouldn't feel like you're facing struggles alone when you thought you had someone to rely on. If they're always missing when you need them, it might be a clear sign of their priorities. Reflect on times when you reached out for support or advice and consider their response. If they consistently make excuses or avoid the conversation, it's a red flag. True friends or partners are there for each other through thick and thin, not just when it's convenient. If they can't be there for you, it might be time to reevaluate how much effort you're putting into the relationship. You deserve to have people around you who care about you and are there when it counts. 7. They Avoid Deep Or Meaningful Conversations If someone is using you, they might steer clear of deep or meaningful conversations. These conversations require a level of emotional investment and vulnerability that someone with selfish intentions might want to avoid. According to Dr. Lisa Firestone, a clinical psychologist, meaningful communication is a cornerstone of healthy relationships, fostering understanding and connection. When someone avoids these deeper discussions, it may be because they aren't interested in forming a deeper bond. Without meaningful interactions, the relationship can feel superficial and hollow. Consider the quality of your conversations with them. Are they surface-level, focusing on small talk or mundane topics? If you try to steer the conversation into more meaningful territory, do they shut down or change the subject? This avoidance can be a sign that they're not interested in truly knowing you or being known themselves. Relationships require depth and connection, and if that's lacking, it might not be the relationship you thought it was. 8. They Frequently Make Promises They Don't Keep Promises should mean something, but if someone is frequently breaking them, it's a sign they might be using you. Making promises they don't keep shows a lack of respect for your time and trust. It's easy to make promises, but following through is what really counts. When promises are consistently broken, it can erode trust and leave you feeling disappointed. If someone values you, they'd make an effort to stick to their word and be reliable. You've probably experienced the cycle of getting your hopes up, only to be let down repeatedly. This behavior can lead to frustration and a sense of betrayal over time. While everyone makes mistakes, a pattern of broken promises is hard to ignore. Talk to them about how their behavior affects you and see if they're willing to change. If they continue to disregard their promises, it might be time to reconsider the relationship. 9. They Take Credit For Your Ideas Or Efforts If someone is quick to take credit for your ideas or efforts, it's a strong indicator that they're using you. This behavior can be particularly damaging in professional settings or collaborative projects. When someone takes credit for your hard work, it shows a lack of integrity and respect. It might seem flattering at first, but over time, it becomes clear they're leveraging your efforts for their own gain. This can be incredibly frustrating and demoralizing. Reflect on whether you've been in situations where your input or hard work has been overshadowed by someone else taking credit. This can occur subtly, with them presenting your ideas as their own, or blatantly, where they outright claim ownership. If they consistently fail to acknowledge your contributions, it's a conversation worth having. Addressing this directly can set boundaries and ensure your work is recognized. Remember that you deserve to be credited for your contributions and efforts. 10. They Use Emotional Blackmail Emotional blackmail is a manipulative tactic that someone using you might employ. This involves using your emotions against you to get what they want. They might make you feel guilty, afraid, or obligated to meet their demands. This form of manipulation can be subtle, making it hard to recognize at first. However, over time, it can wear you down and lead to a toxic relationship dynamic. Recognize if you often feel guilty or anxious after interacting with them. If they're using your emotions as leverage, it's a clear sign of manipulation. Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect and understanding, not coercion or guilt. You should feel comfortable expressing your needs and boundaries without fear of emotional backlash. If emotional blackmail is present, it's essential to address it and consider distancing yourself if necessary. 11. They Don't Celebrate Your Successes A true friend or partner should celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small. If they dismiss, downplay, or ignore your achievements, it might indicate they're not genuinely happy for you. This can be a subtle yet telling sign that they're more focused on themselves. Celebrating each other's successes is an essential part of any supportive relationship. If they can't be happy for you, it raises questions about their investment in your well-being. Consider how they react when you share good news with them. Do they seem genuinely excited, or do they quickly change the subject back to themselves? If they rarely acknowledge your achievements, it might be time to discuss how it makes you feel. A supportive relationship thrives on mutual encouragement and celebration. If they're not interested in sharing your joy, it might be a sign that they're more focused on their own interests. 12. They Make You Feel Insecure Someone using you might intentionally or unintentionally make you feel insecure. This could be through backhanded compliments, criticism, or comparing you to others. It's a tactic that can keep you off balance and more reliant on their approval. However, no one should ever make you feel less than or unworthy. Your self-esteem shouldn't depend on someone else's validation. Think about whether you often feel worse about yourself after spending time with them. If their words or actions consistently chip away at your confidence, it's a red flag. Healthy relationships should uplift and empower you, not undermine your self-worth. Discuss how their behavior affects you and see if they're willing to change. If not, it might be time to prioritize relationships that bring positivity into your life. 13. They Prioritize Their Needs Over Yours In a balanced relationship, both parties should consider each other's needs. If someone consistently prioritizes their needs over yours, it indicates a lack of mutual respect. Your needs and desires are just as important as theirs. It's crucial to find a balance where both of you can feel valued and heard. When their needs are always center stage, it suggests they're more focused on their well-being than the health of the relationship. Reflect on past interactions and whether their needs always seemed to take precedence. If you're always compromising or sacrificing your own needs, it's worth addressing. Healthy relationships require compromise from both parties, not just one. Communicate openly about your needs and see if they're willing to find a better balance. If not, it might be time to reevaluate the dynamics of the relationship. 14. They Manipulate Situations To Their Advantage Manipulating situations to benefit themselves is a clear indication that someone might be using you. This behavior involves bending the truth or altering circumstances to gain an upper hand. It's a sign that they're prioritizing their interests over honesty and fairness. This kind of manipulation can be subtle and hard to detect at first. However, it often leaves you feeling out of control or at a disadvantage. Think about whether you've noticed patterns of manipulation in your interactions. If situations often seem to conveniently benefit them, it might not be a coincidence. This behavior undermines trust and can make the relationship feel unstable. It's crucial to address manipulation head-on and insist on honesty and transparency. If they're unwilling to change, it might be time to reconsider their role in your life. 15. They Disregard Your Boundaries Boundaries are essential in any relationship, ensuring mutual respect and understanding. If someone continuously disregards your boundaries, it's a major red flag. This behavior shows a lack of respect for your autonomy and needs. Everyone has the right to set boundaries and have them honored. If they frequently push or ignore your limits, it indicates that they might be using you. Reflect on whether your boundaries have been dismissed or trivialized. If you feel like your personal space, time, or values are constantly being encroached upon, it's worth addressing. Communicate your boundaries clearly and see if they're willing to respect them. A healthy relationship requires mutual understanding and respect of each other's limits. If they continue to disregard your boundaries, it might be time to distance yourself from the relationship. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
11-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
13 Phrases Selfish People Use To Manipulate You Into Getting What They Want
Navigating relationships is a tricky business, especially when you're up against someone who's mastered the art of manipulation. Selfish people often resort to crafty phrases to get what they want, leaving you feeling exploited or confused. Recognizing these manipulative tactics is a crucial step in protecting your own interests and maintaining healthy boundaries. Here are 13 phrases selfish people commonly use to manipulate others, and how you can spot them. This phrase is a classic guilt trip designed to make you question your affection and loyalty. It's a powerful form of emotional blackmail that manipulative people use to bend your will to theirs. They're leveraging your feelings against you, hoping you'll cave in to prove your love or commitment. According to Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a professor of psychological and brain sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, guilt trips are a common tactic in manipulative relationships because they exploit emotional vulnerabilities. Remember, love and loyalty are not proven through coercion but through mutual respect and understanding. When someone uses this phrase, they're essentially laying a trap for your emotional integrity. They want you to sacrifice your own needs to satisfy theirs under the guise of love. It's crucial to recognize that love doesn't require you to compromise your values or boundaries. Responding with clarity, such as 'I care about you, but I also need to honor my own values,' can help defuse the manipulation. Stand firm in your convictions, and don't let guilt be the basis of your decisions. This phrase is a tactic to make you doubt your own perceptions and instincts. By labeling you as paranoid, the manipulator shifts focus away from their questionable actions and onto your supposed overreaction. It's a subtle form of gaslighting, where they aim to undermine your confidence in your judgment. Instead of addressing the concerns you've raised, they dismiss them as irrational or exaggerated. This can leave you feeling isolated and unsure of your own thoughts and feelings. Being called paranoid can make you question your sanity, but it's important to trust your intuition. If something feels off, it probably is, and dismissing your concerns only benefits the manipulator. To counter this, calmly express why you feel the way you do and provide concrete examples that can help ground the conversation in reality. Reaffirm your right to express your feelings and insist on a conversation that respects both parties' perspectives. If they continue to dismiss you, it might be a sign to reevaluate the relationship. This phrase is designed to isolate you by suggesting that you're out of sync with the majority. By implying widespread agreement, the manipulator pressures you to conform to what they claim is the collective opinion. It taps into the human desire to belong and the fear of being the odd one out. Dr. Robert Cialdini, an expert in the field of influence and persuasion, highlights how social proof can be a powerful motivator in his book "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion." Manipulative people exploit this principle to create a false consensus. When you hear this, it's essential to pause and question the validity of the claim. Ask for specifics—who exactly agrees, and what did they say? This often reveals the bluff, as manipulators typically lack concrete details to back up their sweeping statements. It's important to trust your own judgment and not be swayed by purported opinions without evidence. Engaging in open dialogue can help you discern genuine consensus from manipulative fabrication. Labeling your reactions as overreactions is a tactic to minimize your feelings and experiences. By doing this, the manipulator deflects responsibility and shifts the blame onto your emotional response. It's an attempt to make you feel that your emotions are irrational or unwarranted. This phrase can make you second-guess your valid feelings, discouraging open and honest communication. Over time, this can lead to emotional suppression as you start doubting your own experiences. When confronted with this phrase, it's important to stay rooted in your reality. Your feelings are valid, and acknowledging them is the first step toward addressing any underlying issues. Communicate how their actions have impacted you and why you feel the way you do. By doing so, you reaffirm your right to your emotions and encourage a more respectful conversation. Remember, a healthy relationship allows space for all emotions, not just the convenient ones. This phrase is a hallmark of gaslighting, where the manipulator denies their previous statements to create confusion. It's an attempt to make you question your memory and undermine your confidence in recalling events accurately. When someone repeatedly claims, "I never said that," they aim to exhaust you into submission. Dr. Robin Stern, author of "The Gaslight Effect," explains how gaslighting can erode your trust in your perceptions and lead to self-doubt. Persistent denial of reality is a red flag that your partner is manipulating the truth. If this phrase comes up, it's crucial to maintain your grasp on reality. Documenting conversations can be a practical step in countering this manipulation. Gently remind the person of your recollection and ask them to clarify their stance. This can help bring the conversation back to a factual basis and reduce the manipulator's ability to distort the truth. Trust your memory and don't be swayed into doubting your own senses. This phrase is frequently used to backpedal from an offensive or hurtful comment. It allows the manipulator to dismiss any repercussions under the guise of humor. By claiming they're only joking, they deflect accountability and turn the tables on you for being too sensitive. It's a slippery way to invalidate your feelings while escaping responsibility. While humor can be a healthy part of relationships, it shouldn't be used as a cover for disrespect. When someone uses this line, it's important to address the underlying issue. Explain how their comment made you feel and why it wasn't acceptable. Setting boundaries about what kind of humor is appropriate can help prevent future occurrences. If they continue to use this phrase as a shield, it might be time to question their respect for your feelings. Healthy relationships thrive on open communication, not on hiding behind insincere jokes. Calling you insecure is a manipulative tactic to divert attention from their behavior and place the focus on your supposed shortcomings. It's designed to make you doubt your self-worth and question your reactions. Dr. Jennifer Freed, a family psychologist, notes that labeling someone as insecure can be a way to silence them and avoid addressing the real issues at hand. This phrase is an attempt to pathologize your legitimate concerns, making you feel like the problem lies with you. If you encounter this manipulative phrase, it's crucial to stand your ground. Recognize that questioning certain behaviors or situations doesn't make you insecure; it makes you self-aware. Validate your feelings and express why you're addressing the issue. By doing so, you can shift the conversation back to the actual problem instead of being sidetracked by attacks on your character. Trust in your value and don't allow dismissive remarks to undermine your confidence. This ominous phrase is a direct threat meant to instill fear and uncertainty. It's a way for manipulators to exert control by suggesting dire consequences for not complying with their wishes. The implied punishment is designed to make you second-guess your choices and reconsider your stance. By painting a picture of looming regret, they aim to sway your decision-making process. This tactic exploits the natural human aversion to loss and negative outcomes. When faced with such a phrase, take a moment to assess the situation objectively. Consider whether the threat holds any real weight or is simply an attempt to manipulate your emotions. Engaging in a calm and rational discussion about potential consequences can help you determine the best course of action. Remember, decisions based on fear are rarely in your best interest. Trust your judgment and prioritize your well-being over succumbing to intimidation. The insinuation that you're indebted to someone is a manipulation of the principle of reciprocity. By claiming you owe them, the manipulator seeks to leverage your sense of obligation to their advantage. This phrase is often used to extract favors or compliance by invoking past deeds or sacrifices. However, genuine relationships aren't transactional and shouldn't be governed by a tit-for-tat mentality. The manipulative use of this phrase is meant to make you feel guilty and beholden. In such situations, reflect on whether the supposed debt is legitimate or simply being exaggerated. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and voluntary acts of kindness, not on coercion. It's important to communicate your perspective and assert your autonomy. If you feel pressured, it might be time to reconsider the balance of give-and-take in the relationship. Stand firm in your belief that you're not obligated to repay perceived debts under duress. This dramatic declaration is often a form of emotional manipulation designed to create a sense of responsibility for their well-being. By suggesting they can't survive without you, the manipulator places the onus on you to stay, regardless of your own needs or desires. It's a way to guilt-trip you into maintaining a connection that might not be in your best interest. While the sentiment may seem romantic, it can mask an unhealthy dependency. Love thrives on interdependence, not co-dependence. When confronted with this phrase, it's important to assess the dynamics of the relationship. Is it fostering mutual growth and happiness, or is it rooted in one-sided dependence? Encourage open dialogue about boundaries and individual fulfillment. Emphasize the importance of personal growth alongside shared experiences. A relationship should enhance your life, not become a burden or a responsibility you feel obligated to bear. This phrase is meant to provoke a defensive reaction by lumping you with past grievances. It's a way for the manipulator to deflect current issues by implying a pattern of disappointing behavior. By generalizing your actions, they avoid addressing the specifics of the situation and instead focus on your supposed shortcomings. The goal is to make you feel inadequate and guilty for not meeting their expectations. This tactic often plays on your desire to stand out and not repeat past mistakes. In these situations, it's crucial to focus on the present issue rather than getting drawn into past comparisons. Encourage specific feedback on the current concern rather than broad generalizations. By dissecting the issue at hand, you can have a more productive conversation that addresses both parties' needs. Stand firm in your individuality and resist being painted with a broad brush. Healthy relationships focus on present dynamics, not past baggage. Blaming you for their actions is a classic manipulation tactic to shirk responsibility. By claiming their behavior is a reaction to yours, they attempt to absolve themselves of accountability. This phrase is designed to make you question your actions and assume unwarranted guilt. It's a diversion from their behavior, putting the spotlight on your supposed failings. Such reasoning can erode your confidence and make you feel unjustly responsible for their choices. When faced with this accusation, it's important to separate their actions from your own. Each person is responsible for their behavior and the consequences thereof. Encourage accountability by discussing how both parties can contribute to a healthier dynamic. By focusing on mutual responsibility, you can foster a more balanced and equitable relationship. Don't let misplaced blame cloud your judgment or self-esteem. This phrase is often used to downplay your concerns and make you feel like a burden. By suggesting you're the source of difficulty, the manipulator deflects from their own unwillingness to engage in meaningful resolution. It's a way to pressure you into compliance by insinuating you're complicating matters needlessly. This tactic can make you question the validity of your concerns and discourage open dialogue. However, addressing issues and seeking solutions is a sign of strength, not unnecessary complexity. When you hear this phrase, it's important to reaffirm the legitimacy of your perspective. Acknowledge that resolving conflicts and addressing concerns requires effort from both parties. Emphasize the value of constructive communication and the benefits it brings to the relationship. Stand by your right to express your needs, even if it demands more effort from both sides. Relationships thrive on mutual effort and understanding, not on dismissing valid concerns as mere difficulties.
The Sun
13-06-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
Who is Nick Kyrgios' ex-girlfriend? Meet the French Open tennis star's ex Costeen Hatzi
NICK KYRGIOS split with influencer Costeen Hatzi earlier in 2025, after dating her since 2021. The controversial Aussie ace, who was AXED from BBC coverage of Wimbledon 2025, had been in a relationship with Costeen since late 2021. 1 Who is Costeen Hatzi? Nick Kyrgios ' ex-girlfriend is a Sydney-based blogger. She also has her own business, Casa Amor Interiors, which focuses on minimalist home decor. As of June 2025, Costeen has 177,000 followers on Instagram. She is five years Kyrgios ' junior, and, like Kyrgios, she is of Greek descent. In 2023 Netflix documentary Break Point, Costeen admitted she had never watched a game of tennis in her life before meeting Kyrgios. She graduated from Australian Catholic University in May 2021 with a bachelor of psychological sciences, but works as an online influencer and interior designer. Kyrgios and Hatzi split in 2025, with the 30-year-old tennis star saying: "Things happen. I wish her nothing but the best. So many incredible memories that will stay with me." Influencer Costeen has also spoken publicly about the break-up. She recently told the Herald Sun: "I'm loving my work and doing content every day. "We haven't spoken, relationships come to an end. I believe it's for the best. Nick Kyrgios smashes racket, throws bottle on court and spits towards his team after US Open defeat "I hope he finds peace and happiness within himself. "I definitely entered the relationship with pure intentions. I loved him, thought we had a great connection." Who has Kyrgios dated before? Kyrgios has a chequered past when it comes to relationships. He dated fellow Aussie tennis player Alja Tomljanovic before a short stint with Russian ace Anna Kalinskaya which ended in an alleged acrimonious split. The former world No13 was in an on-off relationship with Chiara Passari but endured a rocky time from first dating in July 2020 to its end in October 2023. They got into a heated argument during hotel quarantine upon arrival back in Australia together and police were called to split them into separate rooms as they separated for good.
