Latest news with #relationshipGoals
The Sun
27-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
Mikel Arteta's actress and spiritual life coach wife Lorena Bernal opens up on the secrets to marriage with Arsenal boss
MIKEL ARTETA'S wife Lorena Bernal has opened up on the secrets of a happy marriage. The couple have been together for 23 years since meeting in a nightclub in their hometown of San Sebastian, Spain. 2 2 They wed in 2010 and have three children together - Gabriel, 15, Daniel, 12, and Oliver, 10. But their hectic working lives mean Lorena and Arteta often find joy doing the simplest things together, like going for a coffee. Lorena shared the secrets behind her happy marriage to the Arsenal boss, revealing it is important to grow as people while maintaining separate lives. She told Hello!: 'There isn't just one secret to our marriage, but I'd say it's important to understand and to accept that you're two individuals sharing a life, not completing each other. 'You're not there to teach them how to live; you're there to grow next to them and support their growth. But you need to accept that each person has their own rhythms, pace and journey, and that acceptance makes it amazing. 'And of course, there's the love underneath it, the foundation of admiration, respect for the other person… and having fun together. 'When we have time together, we do pretty normal things, because our life is the opposite of normal. So we go for a walk or we sit and have coffee. Doing nothing together is beautiful.' Lorena has a busy working life, combining her role as an actress with her job as a spiritual life coach. Lorena has helped fellow models and actors, and other footballers' wives, leading to her publishing a book - It Starts With You. She finds peace in the every day, finding appreciation in the small things. Mikel Arteta will be sacked by Christmas if Arsenal are not in top two, warns former Gunners star Lorena said: 'It's a state of being that I have and apply in my daily life. 'No matter where I am in my life, if I'm mothering or acting or being the wife of my husband, I enjoy it, embracing every day. Because every day is one day less that I have to enjoy all this.'
News24
12-05-2025
- Entertainment
- News24
One woman, two ‘husbands': The KZN mom defying norms and challenging SA's marriage laws
@thepinkpitbull/Instagram South African woman living with two husbands, Jo-Leen Geldenhuys, advocates for polyandry's legalisation despite societal backlash and public scrutiny. Currently, South Africa's marital laws permit polygamy (men marrying multiple women) but don't recognise polyandry, sparking ongoing debates and cultural resistance. Geldenhuys uses her platform and lifestyle shine a light on polyandry, promote marriage equality, and empower others to embrace unconventional relationships. The South African woman pushing boundaries and challenging marital norms has taken her journey one step further—by marrying her second husband, albeit symbolically. No stranger to headlines and ruffling feathers, Jo-Leen Geldenhuys, 34, is well aware of what people have to say about her decision to live with and love two husbands. A few weeks ago, she took a bold stance against societal norms after saying 'I do' to the second love of her life, Santini Lee, 38, who she met at her boxing club while taking a break from her first husband, Jack Geldenhuys, 37. The symbolic wedding may not carry legal weight, but Geldenhuys, known as 'The Pink Pitbull', remains fiercely dedicated to challenging South Africa's current marital laws, which prohibit polyandry—the right of a woman to marry more than one man. Conversely, polygamy, which allows men to marry multiple women, is legally recognised under particular contexts, such as customary marriages. Confirming this, advocate Suzette Gordon shares, 'The Recognition of Customary Marriages Act 120 of 1998 recognises polygamous marriages but does not recognise polyandrous ones.' This has been a point of contention for years, with many gender equality activists advocating for polyandry to be legalised in the interest of equality and choice. In 2021, their proposal was included in a document—officially known as a Green Paper—that the government released for public comment as it embarked on the most significant overhaul of marriage laws since white-minority rule ended in 1994. 'It's important to remember that this Green Paper sets to uphold human rights, and we cannot lose sight of that,' said Charlene May, an advocate at the Women's Legal Centre, a law firm that fights for women's rights, told BBC at the time. However, the proposal ignited a wave of backlash from various quarters. One vocal critic, well-known polygamist Musa Mseleku, argued that the legalisation of polyandry would, 'destroy African culture.' 'What about the children of those people? How will they know their identity?' asks Mr Mseleku, who stars in a South African reality TV show about his polygamous family. He further criticised the notion of role reversals in traditional customs. 'The woman cannot now take the role of the man. It's unheard of. Will the woman now pay lobola [bride price] for the man? Will the man be expected to take her surname?' The reality TV star, who spoke to TshisaLive at the time, went on to add that men who accept polyandry are 'weak.' Despite his sentiments, and many others similar to his, advocate Gordon reminds us that discussions around the legalisation of polyandry in South Africa are still under way. She shares with News24, 'There are ongoing discussions about reviewing this issue, though no significant progress has been made.' For Geldenhuys, the fight is personal. The human rights activist, who currently lives in La Mercy, Durban, with her two husbands and four children, says that polyandry is more than a legal issue - it is also a cultural and societal issue. She hopes that her harmonious arrangement will shine a spotlight on polyandry and allow people to do what works for them. Speaking to YOU earlier this year, Geldenhuys revealed that her children, who she shares with first husband Jack, are all very accepting of their alternative lifestyle. Opening up about the living arrangements, she reveals that they have their own rooms and don't generally have a schedule when it comes to intimacy. 'Sometimes it's Jack and me alone, sometimes it's Santini and me. There are also times when it's the three of us together but Jack and Santini don't touch each other then - just me.' They have also grown accustomed to people staring at them during trips to the beach or while grocery shopping, but she takes it in her stride, often adding a little humour to the situation by kissing both men or touching them lovingly. She shared photos from her wedding to Santini on Instagram last week, which took place at Salmon Beach on 26 April. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Jo-Leen Geldenhuys (@pinkpitbull_thriplelationship) She often uses the platform to open up about her 'thriplelationship' and shares that other couples who are afraid to speak out often contact her. This, she shares with The North Coast Courier, further fuels her passion for equality within the country's marital laws.
Forbes
07-05-2025
- Lifestyle
- Forbes
3 Ideas For Your Next ‘Date Night'—From A Psychologist
Unsure of how to go about planning your next date night? Consider these three psychological research ... More findings. getty When you're in a long-term relationship, it's easy for the excitement of date nights to fade into the background of everyday life. Yet, according to renowned relationship counselors Drs. John and Julie Gottman, date nights are vital to maintaining a thriving relationship. They recommend just two hours a week of dedicated one-on-one time with your partner to significantly boost happiness and health in your partnership. That might sound simple, but for many couples, it's not always easy to figure out what to do with those two hours. Especially when life feels repetitive, planning something special can seem daunting—whether you're trying to come up with new ideas, balance different interests, or just reignite the spark. Thankfully, however, a 2021 study from the Journal of Personal and Social Relationships offers three key insights into how to make the most of your date nights. One of the standout findings from the study is that couples who prioritize 'approach relationship goals' — in other words, those who seek positive and exciting experiences together — tend to feel more connected. Additionally, these couples are better at planning thrilling and stimulating dates — which are vital for keeping the romantic spark alive. When you've been together for a while, however, routine can become the enemy of excitement. Date nights can quickly turn into the same old thing — a quick dinner out, maybe a movie, then back home. There's nothing wrong with that, but over time, repeating the same activities can make it feel like your relationship is stuck in a rut. That's why the researchers suggest aiming for novelty and adventure when planning your dates. This doesn't mean you have to go skydiving every weekend, but it could be as simple as trying something new together. Prioritizing novelty and excitement is the most effective way to reignite that sense of excitement you felt in the early stages of your relationship. For instance: Outdoor adventure. Think about activities you wouldn't normally do together. It could be ziplining, paddleboarding or even just exploring a new hiking trail; being outside and trying something novel can make the date feel more invigorating. If you're more low-key, a simple picnic in a scenic, unfamiliar spot can create a lovely sense of adventure. Think about activities you wouldn't normally do together. It could be ziplining, paddleboarding or even just exploring a new hiking trail; being outside and trying something novel can make the date feel more invigorating. If you're more low-key, a simple picnic in a scenic, unfamiliar spot can create a lovely sense of adventure. Explore your city. Sometimes, the most exciting adventures can be right in your backyard. Try exploring a neighborhood you've never visited or checking out that new café you've been curious about. Going on a 'staycation' in your own town can offer a fresh perspective on familiar surroundings and make for a surprisingly fun date. Sometimes, the most exciting adventures can be right in your backyard. Try exploring a neighborhood you've never visited or checking out that new café you've been curious about. Going on a 'staycation' in your own town can offer a fresh perspective on familiar surroundings and make for a surprisingly fun date. Surprise each other. If planning a full-on adventure feels overwhelming, try incorporating a small element of surprise into your date night. You could plan a mystery destination, organize a themed date or add an unexpected twist to your usual routine. Surprises help break the predictability, as they keep things light and playful. 2. Plan A Date That Allows You To Grow Together Another key finding from the research is the link between self-expansion and date nights. Self-expansion is the idea that when we engage in activities that help us grow, learn, or challenge ourselves, we feel more fulfilled — and when we do those things with a partner, it can help us reconnect. In practice, this would entail planning dates that allow both partners to experience something new or develop a new skill together. Notably, the goal shouldn't be just to spend time together, but to engage in something that helps you grow individually and as a couple. You could learn something new, take on a challenge or explore a new interest; sharing such experiences alone can create a deeper sense of partnership. It's important to note that 'growth' doesn't always mean taking on something huge. Sometimes, it's all in the little moments that allow you to see each other in a new light or appreciate different facets of your personalities: Take a class together. Sign up for something that interests both of you —like a cooking class, pottery workshop or even something completely niche, like mixology or photography. Not only will you learn something new, but you'll have shared the experience of mastering a skill together — and you can laugh through the process together. Sign up for something that interests both of you —like a cooking class, pottery workshop or even something completely niche, like mixology or photography. Not only will you learn something new, but you'll have shared the experience of mastering a skill together — and you can laugh through the process together. Physical challenge. If you're feeling adventurous, try an activity that requires teamwork and pushes you physically, like rock climbing, kayaking or even a workout that's tough for your shared standards. Physical challenges can be an effective (and healthy) way to build trust and encourage each other to step out of your comfort zones. If you're feeling adventurous, try an activity that requires teamwork and pushes you physically, like rock climbing, kayaking or even a workout that's tough for your shared standards. Physical challenges can be an effective (and healthy) way to build trust and encourage each other to step out of your comfort zones. Cultural experiences. If you're more drawn to intellectual pursuits, consider exploring new cultural experiences together. Visit a museum exhibit you've never seen, attend a foreign film screening or explore a new genre of music. The goal should be to share something new that stimulates conversation and reflection. 3. Set Positive Intentions Before the Date Couples who approach their date nights with an open, positive mindset tend to have more meaningful and fulfilling experiences — according to the study's findings regarding approach relationship goals. Thus, setting positive intentions before a date can have a profound impact on its success. In fact, the mindset you bring to the date can be just as important as the activity itself. It's easy to let date nights fall into autopilot — going out because it's something you're 'supposed' to do, rather than actually thinking about how to make the most of the experience. But by taking a moment beforehand to set clear, positive intentions, you can turn a routine outing into something special. Consider what you want to achieve from the date: Do you want to feel more connected? Have deeper conversations? Or simply enjoy each other's company in a more relaxed, fun setting? Focus on connection, not perfection. It's important to remember that not every date needs to be perfect. The real value lies in how you connect with each other. Even if the evening doesn't go exactly as planned, focus on the quality of your conversations, laughter and little moments of contentment. It's important to remember that not every date needs to be perfect. The real value lies in how you connect with each other. Even if the evening doesn't go exactly as planned, focus on the quality of your conversations, laughter and little moments of contentment. Plan activities that suit your personalities. Don't feel pressured to plan a lavish or complex date if that's not your style. The best dates are those that reflect who you are as a couple. It doesn't matter if it's as simple as cooking a meal together or playing a board game; so long as you choose something that allows you both to relax and enjoy yourselves, it's a date night worth having. Don't feel pressured to plan a lavish or complex date if that's not your style. The best dates are those that reflect who you are as a couple. It doesn't matter if it's as simple as cooking a meal together or playing a board game; so long as you choose something that allows you both to relax and enjoy yourselves, it's a date night worth having. Connection-focused games. If you're looking for a deeper, more intimate date night at home, consider playing a game designed specifically to spark meaningful conversations. Games like We're Not Really Strangers , Unpack That or …and then, we held hands are perfect for couples who want to explore each other's thoughts, feelings and experiences on a level that everyday conversation doesn't allow for. Are date nights a thing of the past in your relationship? Take this science-backed test and find out if it's cause for concern: Relationship Satisfaction Scale
