Latest news with #rudeness
Forbes
6 days ago
- Business
- Forbes
Leaders: Don't Let Your Tone Be Your Derailer
Read almost any article and you will see that workplace incivility is on the rise, with numerous employees reporting experiencing negative behaviors from their coworkers and leaders. They report increased rudeness, bullying, shaming, yelling and disrespect, among other things. According to the Civility Index published by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), in the first quarter of 2025, instances of workplace incivility were up 21.5%. This is critical for many reasons, such as leading to lower employee mental health, morale, satisfaction, and productivity. And for companies, this can mean a huge financial cost to their business. Incivility can manifest itself in many ways, one of which is via communication skills (or the lack thereof). In fact, one of the most common areas that my executive coach colleagues and I give feedback to leaders on is the importance of having effective communication skills. When interacting with their employees, peers, clients, and higher-ups we mention the importance of using good listening skills and verbal communication. Further, we talk about the importance of addressing problematic issues in a one-on-one meeting in private (vs. public forums) with individuals. The old adage about using private meetings to give constructive or negative feedback and public forums to give praise is still really important, and frankly probably even more important today given the rise in incivility in the workplace. One area in particular that is important for leaders (really anyone) to consider is the tone of their communications. You can have the best message in the world, but if your tone of delivery is too loud or harsh, it can have a tremendous damaging impact on the relationship. And it can have even more dramatic effects if the conversation is overheard by others nearby or right there. Furthermore, it seems that with the rise in incivility, it is getting more commonplace for individuals to use a caustic, curt tone when talking to others. Tone of voice in communication refers to the way someone speaks to or corresponds with another person and conveys your emotions, attitudes, and intentions. Your tone comes across in all of your formats with others. It can refer to your in person meetings, as well as your phone messages, emails, and texts. In terms of in person situations, perhaps you meant for something to be taken as a joke, but you used a stronger tone than necessary and made the comment in front of other people and as a result they interpreted it in a hurtful way and felt embarrassed. Your tone can also trigger defensive and/or aggressive responses from the other person. Suppose you thought you were just conveying your feelings about a situation but used a loud accusatory tone of voice or a condescending tone in a public forum, leading to the other person getting defensive and everyone around them appearing shocked by what happened. Thus, not only is the tone important but so are the surroundings (private vs. public forum). The tone can impact how people feel about you and the conversation more than your actual words can. As the famous poet Maya Angelou stated ' I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel'. When talking to individuals after such an event occurs, I often hear that their tone just 'happened' and they weren't planning for it to be so loud or harsh. It can partially be exacerbated by the greater incivility in the workplace which encourages (or certainly doesn't discourage) snarky comments to others. Of course, we need to work on improving our workplaces and ridding them of incivility. We also need to take charge of our own behaviors to ensure we are using an appropriate tone. So, how can we personally guard against this happening again in the future? Ways to Guard Against Using An Inappropriate Tone It's important for leaders to be able to give constructive feedback to those they work with. It's also critical that when giving this feedback they match their nonverbals (including their tone) to their message. If they really want someone else's behaviors to change, then they need to make sure they are using the right words and tone to influence them in a positive way to change. They will have much better success if the other person actually hears the message and is not turned off by the person's delivery of the message (style, tone). This is especially true with email as well. In fact, things can be made much worse with email as they can read a person's message over and over again and they can share it with others damaging the sender's reputation. And if leaders mess up a message by using an inappropriate tone, it's important to own up to it and apologize as soon as possible. Don't give a lot of justifications. Just acknowledge it and commit to using a better style in the future. You'll be a more effective communicator if you can follow these practices. And maybe, this can help lower the amount of incivility in the workplace for everyone.
The Sun
06-08-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
BBC Breakfast chaos as now host Charlie Stayt faces probe after string of complaints amid claims against Naga Munchetty
BBC Breakfast's Charlie Stayt is joining co-host Naga Munchetty 'under review' after a string of complaints. The process will decide if Stayt, 63, and Munchetty, 50, will face a formal investigation. 3 Crew are said to have pointed to 'rudeness' and 'bullying' as well as behaviour that 'undermines staff' — with Munchetty shouldering much of the criticism. But Stayt's conduct has also been put under the spotlight after a probe was launched into the show's director, Richard Frediani. A source said: 'A number of people have come forward to share their experiences with Charlie, so the BBC has officially moved to place the complaints under review. 'Charlie and Naga will be assessed separately.' Bosses called in an external consultant to examine Frediani's conduct and the director has returned to work. A BBC spokesman said: 'While we do not comment on individual cases, we take all complaints about conduct at work extremely seriously and will not tolerate behaviour that is not in line with our values.' The Sun revealed this week that Munchetty"went ballistic" at an intern for getting her porridge wrong, an insider claimed. The insider previously worked with Munchetty on BBC Breakfast and revealed the host was an "absolute nightmare" and would "kick off about the smallest of issues". The source has claimed that under-fire BBC presenter Naga has a reputation for going "ballistic" at junior staff. An insider told the Mail: "She has a reputation for going at young members of staff and making them out to be fools. Naga Munchetty at centre of 'bullying' row with BBC Breakfast boss as probe launched into 'toxicity' on set "She would kick off about the smallest of issues, including one time she went ballistic over her breakfast not being prepared exactly how she likes it by an intern." Munchetty refused to eat porridge delivered to her by an intern during an ad break as it was too hot for her to eat in the time she had. 3
Yahoo
27-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
5 Unintentionally Rude Things People Do
A lesson for the faux polite people of the world. Rude people either live in a vacuum of self-awareness — or just don't care. I fear I have been 'that guy' a few times. I've unintentionally ruffled feathers and burned bridges in my wake. Heck, I'm sure a few people have said, 'If Sean does that one more time, I will reach across this table." By the end of this article, you will know what to look out for — and how to avoid being an accidental fool. It will help you preserve friendships, and live a better, more seamless life. Getting a gauge on where they are 'really' from Some people are as subtle as a brick through a window. Especially here in the US. If someone is non-white, don't make it into your mission to find out where they are 'really' from. I see this cringefest commonly with Asian-Americans, some of whom have been here for two generations. They talk with no accent and couldn't be more American. But some stranger begins interrogating them like they just stepped off the boat on Ellis Island. The stranger stops just short of asking for their green card. And look — I'm not Mr. Perfect. I'm sure I've done this at some point. It's more out of curiosity as I'm into family heritage stuff. I've now seen it from the outside and realize it's generally a bad look. Questions about a stranger's heritage can wait until you know them a little better. A question that implies there's something wrong My spouse, Laura, says that men used to always ask her, 'So why are you still single?' They often asked it in this curious and doubtful tone — that implied something had to be wrong. 'She must be crazy or have some type of baggage.' If you think about it, that question is loaded with assumptions: that she is looking for a boyfriend, that she's getting rejected because she's broken, and that you know her well enough to ask that type of question. For the record, Laura was one of those women who spent most of her 20s single by choice. Their question was probably just their awkward way of saying she was super attractive. But they unintentionally send bad vibes. Commenting about anything bizarre on their appearance One of my guy friends has dark circles under his eyes naturally. That's just how he looks. Too often, people comment, 'You look tired.' 'Have you gotten sleep, buddy? You look sleepy.' He plays it off like it doesn't bother him. But I can tell it makes him insecure. In general, I'd refrain from commenting about someone's appearance in any negative or neutral light. Don't point out irregularities about their face. That includes telling them they should smile more. This is especially true with women. Years ago, my dad was in the car with me and I was only 10-years-old. We weren't even talking. And just out of the blue he said, 'I don't care how tall, beautiful, ugly, skinny, or fat a woman is — don't ever make a joke about her weight.' I suspect he'd witnessed some cringe. Dining habits from hell There's this habit of slurping amongst otherwise civilized people. They sound like a toddler using a straw for the first time. And I'm not just talking about soup. Literally, any liquid is grounds for a mouth concert. It's the drinking version of hearing someone chew with their mouth open. It also makes the person seem like they are finishing their drink in a frenzy of dehydration. Some people are repeat offenders. They moan in pleasure as they eat and smack their mouth like a cow and then unleash burps. One of my coworkers had this big bag of tortilla-style Doritos. Every day around 11, he sat behind me and spend a solid 20 minutes each day slowly crunching through these chips. Now granted, I know in some countries in Asia, slurping is normal — while blowing your nose in a restaurant would be hugely rude (it generally isn't in the US). I hate hearing the sound of other people eating and consuming food with no effort to conceal the noise. Please have the courtesy to limit the mouth noise. Culture math on our arrival time Years ago, one of my marketing professors, Professor Eric Ritter, told me people judge you by three things: Your personality. The quality of your work. Your punctuality. And it makes sense if you think about it. Some people are on time, have great personalities, but do shotty work. Others do great work, are on time, but total jerks. And there have been plenty of people who I liked and respected greatly, who drove me nuts on their habitual lateness. It's particularly aggravating when meeting someone for lunch or dinner. I don't like writing their tardiness off as being on Island Time. Perhaps this is my military upbringing making me a bit of a stiff. I don't like sitting alone at a lunch table for 15–20 minutes every time we get together. It tells me the other person doesn't respect my time. A friend suggested, 'Just lie to them and say you are meeting 15 minutes earlier than you actually are.' That feels convoluted and dishonest. I don't like doing culture math on the appropriate level of lateness to be. If we are meeting at 6, let's meet at 6. Cool? The worst one of all The Kingslayer unintentionally rude thing that I've had the non-pleasure of witnessing. Asking a woman how 'far along' she is—when she isn't pregnant. If you have to ask, go with something safe like, 'Do you have children?' Or make sure I'm out of earshot so I don't have to cohabitate the cringe grave with you. Stupid Bob to the non-pregnant girl: 'Wow! you look so regnant. When are you gonna pop that thing out?' It makes me want to shrivel up into a ball. Unless you are her doctor, and she is in front of you, in labor, avoid that question. Recap for memory: intentionally rude things people do Slurping and being a loud eater (with cultural exceptions). Commenting on someone's appearance or pointing out any abnormality. Interrogating a minority stranger's 'real' homeland. Being habitually late with no valid excuse. Asking a woman how far into her pregnancy she is. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
20-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Woman Says Husband's Friends Are ‘Rude' After Repeatedly Showing Up at Their House Unannounced
"I don't see why I should keep ignoring my boundaries for rude people," she wroteNEED TO KNOW A woman set a boundary with her husband's friends: they should call before coming over She just prefers a heads-up, in case someone is indecent, in the middle of a task or already with guests "I don't see why I should keep ignoring my boundaries for rude people," she wroteIs it okay to show up at a friend's house without a giving courtesy call first? In a post on Mumsnet's "Am I Being Unreasonable" forum, a woman aired her grievances about her husband's friends repeatedly showing up at their home unannounced. She recognized the cultural and generational influences that could contribute to a misunderstanding, but after setting a boundary with them, they continued to arrive without warning. Twice in two weeks, her husband's friends — a man and his wife — have arrived unannounced at their home. The woman saw them on their Ring doorbell camera, and politely told them, "If you'd had called ahead, I could have told you we were out — give us a call next time." The woman said she was raised to call or text beforehand — just a little "is it OK to pop round in half hour?" message — in case the house's occupants weren't prepared, for whatever reason, to entertain guests. She has the same expectation for her guests, the woman wrote, and let them know. Then, after the woman told them to give a little notice before coming over, the couple again arrived without any warning. "My husband said it was awkward as I didn't let them in, but I don't see why I should keep ignoring my boundaries for rude people," she wrote. At the time, the woman's daughter was still in her pajamas, and the mother knew she "wouldn't be comfortable like that in front of visitors." She, in turn, had just returned home from grocery shopping and was in the midst of putting the food away. But, she noted, if her husband's friends had called ahead, she and her daughter could have prepared for company, as they prefer. The woman stressed the importance of a simple courtesy call. She could be indecent, in the middle of an important task, or already with other guests — it spares everyone an awkward situation, she noted. Commenters generally agreed with the woman, considering she had already told the couple she preferred if they'd give her a heads up they were coming over. However, users urged the woman to set her boundaries early with all guests. While she may have grown up with courtesy calls as the norm, others grew up in open-door-policy houses. Clear communication is a simple way to bridge that gap, one wrote. "I don't think there's anything categorically wrong with popping in to see people but you need to respect their feelings on it — you have made it clear you prefer a heads up," one wrote. Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
21-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Woman Sparks Debate After Saying People Who Call Repeatedly After Being Ignored the First Time Are ‘Rude'
A woman says she thinks it's 'rude' when people repeatedly call her cell phone 'If I don't answer the first call, what makes them think I'm going to answer the second, third or tenth time?' she wrote on the community forum Mumsnet Readers had mixed opinions on her takeA woman says she thinks it's 'rude' when someone calls her multiple times directly after she doesn't pick up the first time — and it's sparking some debate. The woman detailed her experience in the 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' forum on the U.K.-based community site a place where people can go to get input and advice about an array of topics. 'If I don't answer the first call, what makes them think I'm going to answer the second, third or tenth time?' she argued. 'Sometimes I'm having a shower or my phone is in another room [charging], and I'll go to it and there'll be 20 missed calls. Or I might be at work. Any number of reasons why I can't answer,' she continued, adding that it's a 'few certain people' in her life who do this. 'Mobile phones have missed call notifications, so it's obvious that someone will ring back when they can,' she concluded her post. A number of post commenters vehemently agreed with the original poster (OP). 'My phone is for me, for my convenience. I'll answer or call back when I want to, no matter how many times you ring. I really hate being contactable so easily,' one person wrote. 'The more people do that, the more I don't answer,' someone else said. 'If someone called me that number of times without a damned good reason, I would block their number.' Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Some people, however, said it depends on the situation. 'Generally, yes, but it depends why,' one person wrote. 'If someone is ringing me because I'm 10 minutes late to meet them and they want to know an ETA or whatever, I think it's far more acceptable than if someone is ringing for a chat or something that can wait.' Other community members said they completely disagreed with the OP's perspective, and said they actually take issue with people not answering their phones in the first place. 'I don't find it rude at all if someone rings me. I grew up with landline phone calls and letters. When I was a teenager, the only way to contact someone quickly was by phone call or telegram. I think most of you need to unclench,' one person commented. The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now! Another person suggested the OP should perhaps consider having some empathy for the person who's calling, as they might not mean to be rude. "I do this [call repeatedly] — I can't help it. It's an anxiety thing,' they explained. "If people don't answer their phones, I think they are dead … If someone doesn't want to speak to me, that's fine, but a quick message to say, 'I'm busy' is fine. Then I'll leave you alone.' Read the original article on People
