Latest news with #selfconscious
Telegraph
4 days ago
- General
- Telegraph
Young girls find bra-buying excruciating enough without ‘help' from trans M&S workers
Taking one's daughter for her first bra fitting is so excruciating that when that time came for my third daughter, I outsourced this rite of passage to her older sister. Show me a girl who is not self-conscious about her body at that age and I will show you a liar. It doesn't matter how open you have been as a parent, it is all, as the kids say, 'awks'. Usually, the bustling no-nonsense ladies of John Lewis or M&S take over and thank god for that. For the terminally shy, online purchases come to the rescue. In such a situation, I have asked for help while my eldest curled up in embarrassment beside me. The idea that anyone would approach us at all is extraordinary, but a big unit in the shape of a 6ft 2in transgender woman, aka a biological man? Just no. Yet is exactly what happened recently to a mother and daughter in M&S. The mother, who complained, said her daughter 'freaked out'. M&S have apologised. But really what are they playing at? Of course, trans people can be employed in the store. But sticking them in the lingerie section? What could possibly go wrong? This is a company, after all, that apologised for and withdrew an ad that said: ' First bras for fearless young things.' Note the dehumanising use of the word 'things' – it is as if the words girls must be erased to satisfy the need of some poor boys who identify as the opposite sex. M&S have yet more form on this. For years it has proclaimed itself as an 'inclusive retailer' allowing men who identify as women into its changing rooms. They claim their changing rooms are secure and private. But why should women even have to think about this? Why this insane tussle over our rights to privacy and safety given this is what most of the public want and more to the point, what most of its female customers want? The drive from corporates, brand consultants and strung-out ad execs high on their own supply of loopy-loo ideas of diversity is producing a culture that is strangely dated and irrelevant. What on earth, for instance, was that super-queer Jaguar ad, which featured a range of interesting-looking androgynous models – but no actual car – about? Do potential Jag owners want to 'create exuberant', 'delete ordinary' and 'live vivid'? Do they even understand what this nonsense means? We are not in Kansas any more. The gender cult has peaked. This has come about through a number of cases, tribunals and reviews culminating in the Supreme Court Equality Act ruling, which clarified the law by explaining that gender identity does not trump biology. Just as importantly though, as more light has been shone on this subject (often by women objecting to having our boundaries violated), public attitudes have shifted hugely in the last five years. The most recent YouGov survey shows that the public across all age groups does not want men in women's spaces, understands that there is a clash with women's rights at times and does not support the use of puberty blockers. I also suspect that many people, when questioned about the rights of transwomen to be in female spaces, clearly did not understand that most were in fact, fully intact men who have not transitioned beyond some poorly applied slap. We are currently living through a moment in which several of our politicians and much of our culture is not up to speed on this – another worrying sign of just out of touch they are. Gender-critical views are not some aberration beloved only by middle-aged hags: they have, in fact, become the majority view. The more informed people have become on this subject, the more they have rejected cult thinking. The outlier position is now to welcome biological men into women's refuges (would-be Green leader Zack Polanski) or into women's prisons (Nigel Farage, who ended up doing a U-turn on that view 24 hours later). The case for medicalisation and sterilisation of children we can leave to the likes of deranged fanatics like Jolyon Maugham and Dr Helen Webberley. Sadly, the cultural establishment also joins those holding out against reality, with writers, academics, novelists, artists and TV types being the most blinkered of all. It turns out that they are mostly gutless authoritarians. The Edinburgh International Book Festival will not platform any of our excellent gender critical writers, such as Jenny Lindsay (author of Hounded, about the witch-hunt of women by trans activists) or the contributors to the best-selling set of essays The Women Who Wouldn't Wheesht: Voices from the Front-Line of Scotland's Battle for Women's Rights. The festival is operating with basically a No Debate policy. Its star turn is, of course, Nicola Sturgeon – who was brought down partly by her gender lunacy. The festival organisers prefer to stay in their comfort zone untroubled, it would appear, by law or public opinion. These folk are far too genteel to espouse book burning but they don't need to. Their cultural negligence and denial suffices. In their bubble of faux radicalism, their views (any bloke can be a woman!) have no consequences in the real world. Oh but they do. They have consequences in small ways – men offering teenage girls 'help' with bras – and in big ways, when women lose careers and credibility for stating the truth. Just last month, at London's Pride rally, we again saw demonstrations on our streets, where signs saying 'Kill Terfs' and threats of violence to women were paraded. Make no mistake, these people are sore losers in every way. This is why we remain keen to protect our spaces and our daughters.
The Sun
18-07-2025
- Health
- The Sun
My moobs halted my love life as I'm too self-conscious to go topless – girls have made cruel jibes since I was a kid
A MAN claims his 'moobs' have stalled his love life as he's too self-conscious to take his top off on dates. Thabo Methie, 31, was just 10 years old when he started noticing that he seemed to be developing breasts instead of pecs. 5 5 5 Sporty Thabo says he was bullied at school - with kids saying they were "bigger than some of the females". Thabo stopped participating in sports like swimming aged 11 as he was too self-conscious to take off his top and he says he became "sick" of being the brunt of every joke. He went to the doctor and was diagnosed with gynaecomastia – when boys or men have more breast gland tissue than usual. Having lived with the condition for 21 years and worn oversized T-shirts to hide his chest, Thabo has decided to have his breasts surgically removed. As the surgery is deemed cosmetic, Thabo says it can't be done through the NHS. Instead, he's set up a GoFundMe to raise the £6.5k required for "life-changing" private surgery to remove the breast tissue he says has been holding him back for years. Thabo, a healthcare assistant for the NHS blood and transplant service, originally from Marondera, Zimbabwe, but living in Nottingham, Nottinghamshire, said: "It isn't painful, but it has mentally affected me because of how people were to me. "I went for quite a while without dating someone because I didn't want to take my clothes off. "For such a long time, I would debate getting a knife and cutting it off myself. "The moment people started making jokes, that really hurt me and that stuck with me, especially when people pointed them out to me. Dr Philippa Kaye Answers Most Embarrassing Men's Health Questions Part 2 "Some girls were laughing about it at school, and the most heart-breaking one was my then-crush telling me that I could breastfeed." Thabo's insecurities grew when he attended boarding school at 13. He says he became a recluse, trying to avoid any interaction with his peers. He went on to spend the next four years trying to wash when no one would see him - which proved difficult sharing a communal bathroom with 23 other people. 5 5 Thabo said: "My entire life has been about wearing clothes that hide something that makes me deeply embarrassed and has gotten worse with time. "Even now when I want to swim, I worry what people will think of me and I want my confidence to come back and I don't want to worry about what other people think of me." When Thabo was 19, he took up running in an effort to shrink his chest and has more recently added strength training to his repertoire. The 31-year-old claimed he even tried taking weight loss jabs. What is gynaecomastia? Gynaecomastia, or 'man boobs', is where men have bigger breasts than usual. It's common and may not need treatment, but can sometimes be caused by other conditions. The main symptom is getting bigger breasts than usual. Your nipples or breasts may also look swollen or feel sore. One or both breasts can be affected. What causes gynecomastia? Hormone changes in men aged over 50, or during puberty Being overweight Certain medicines Conditions such as an overactive thyroid, kidney disease, or cirrhosis Drug use, including anabolic steroids The effect of pregnancy hormones on some newborn babies Treatments Gynaecomastia is often harmless and may not need treatment, but if it's a problem for you, your GP may recommend: Medicines that reduce or increase certain hormones Losing weight, if you're overweight If your gynaecomastia is caused by a condition, getting treatment for the condition may help reduce the size of your breasts. Surgery can reduce your breasts if other treatments have not worked, but it may not be available on the NHS. When gynaecomastia happens in newborn babies, or when it's caused by puberty, it usually goes away by itself over time. Though he's maintained an active lifestyle to try and manage his condition, he has gained 21kg and now weighs 19st. His breast tissue has grown more with time, affecting his self-esteem and mental health, he said. Thabo said: "This has been ruining my self-esteem and it's just making me feel depressed most of the time. "I have added strength training to the running but these can only do so much, especially as I gain weight. "I started eating healthier with food that has more fibre, and last year I started taking the weight loss injection, but I stopped taking it as it was really expensive." Gynaecomastia is fairly common and thought to be linked to an imbalance of oestrogen and testosterone. Conditions such as an overactive thyroid, kidney disease, or cirrhosis can cause it, as can taking certain medicines and being overweight. The NHS classifies surgery to remove breast tissue as cosmetic. It also requires patients seeking it to provide long-term UK-based medical records, which Thabo can't do as he only moved to the UK on a visa in 2023. Thabo said: "To have this surgery would mean the world to me. It would be a huge weight off of my shoulders.
The Sun
01-07-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
Dr Pimple Popper slices ‘TURD' growth off woman's chest after date's humiliating jibe
A WOMAN had a "turd"-like growth sliced off her chest by Dr Pimple Popper after being subjected to cruel jibes by a date. Chalamar, 26, developed a thick, raised scar on her chest after getting her sternum pierced. 9 9 9 9 The piercing grew itchy after about a year an oblong, "bundled-up" scar started to grow in the same spot. Chalamar began feeling increasingly self-conscious about it. Then, while on a date, she was told the scar looked like a "turd". She recalled: "A guy literally sat across the table from me and called it a turd. 'I had met this guy online and then the first date comes, the first thing he asked me is what is that thing on my chest and he said it looked like a turd after that I didn't really want to talk to another man a day in my life.' The 26-year-old – who lives in Phoenix, Arizona – got up and left there and then, and turned her back on dating after the distressing incident. Previously know for her extravagant and colourful outfits, Chalamar refused to wear revealing clothing and insisted on covering up the keloid on her chest. Battling depression, the one-time party animal even refused to go out. Chalamar first got her ear pierced in 2018, noticing that it continued to feel sore afterwards. But she decided to follow this up by getting her sternum pierced too. She grew raised scars - known as keloids - in both spots. Chalamar tried to get the growth on her ear removed by a dermatologist, but it just grew back afterwards. "The one on my ear feels a bit like a grape, the one on my chest is bundled up like a turd," Chalamar said. Growing tired of hiding herself in hoodies and not feeling comfortable in her body, Chalamar said: "I want a better life for myself. 9 9 9 "It's not fair. I should be happy and I don't feel happy with this stuff being on my ear or on my chest. "I'm hopeful that all these keloids can be minimised, reduced or taken off so I can go back to living the life that I deserve to live.' Chalamar – who lived with the keloids for four years – appeared alongside Dr Sandra Lee on her show 'Dr Pimple Popper: Breaking Out.' Dr Lee explained that any kind of trauma to the skin - like a piercing - can trigger keloids, which are a common condition. Hearing about Chalamar's dating incident, Dr Lee exclaimed: "He's the turd!" The world-famous dermatologist anticipated that the growth on Chalamar's chest would be hard to remove and warned there was a chance of a raised scar growing back because the skin in the area gets "tugged" at so much. What are keloids? A keloid scar is a raised scar left on the skin after a wound has healed. It usually appears a few weeks to years after you damage or injure your skin, such as after a cut, burn or acne. They're thought to be caused by dysfunction of the wound-healing process. Collagen — a protein found throughout the body — is useful to wound healing, but when the body produces too much, keloids can form. Keloid scars are usually raised, hard, smooth and shiny. They can be skin colour, pink, red, purple, brown, or darker than the skin around them. You can get keloid scars on any part of the body, but they're most common on the chest, shoulders, chin, neck, lower legs and ears. It can grow for months or years and become bigger than the original wound. While it's growing, it may feel itchy or painful. You can't get rid of a keloid scar, but there are treatments that can help improve how it looks and reduce irritation. Treatments may include: Steroid injections or cream Silicone dressings or gels Cryotherapy (a treatment to freeze the keloid scar) Laser therapy Surgery to remove the keloid scar is not usually recommended because it's likely to grow back bigger. Source: NHS Dr Lee also said the procedure to remove the keloid would also likely leave a scar. But Chalamar was eager to go ahead with the operation. She said:' I finally get to show my cleavage off now there's no more chest turd.' Dr Lee sliced into the skin on the keloids, pulling out the scar tissue but leaving enough "superficial skin" stitch the wounds up neatly. She also took care to keep the scar on Chalamar's chest as small as possible, to prevent an even bigger keloid from growing back. A visibly emotional Chalamar looked down at her decolletage after the "turd" was removed. "It feels flat, I feel like I got my skin back," she stated. "I feel free." She underwent superficial radiation treatment following the procedure to prevent the keloid from reforming. And Dr Lee said: "I'm so proud of how good she looks now that turd is off her chest.' Three weeks after the op, Chalamar was ready to show of chest and hit the town. "So glad I get to be hot again," she said. 9 9
Yahoo
28-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Woman Accuses Her Husband of Being ‘Sleazy' After He Commented on Another Woman's Body — Others Think He Was Just Being Nice
A woman says her husband made a comment about another woman's body, and she thought it seemed 'sleazy' The woman shared the comment on a popular community site and asked other women if they would have also been 'offended' The post ultimately sparked much debate among the woman's fellow community membersA woman said she thinks her husband was being 'sleazy' about another woman's appearance — but is unsure if she's overreacting. The woman detailed her experience in the 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' forum on the U.K.-based community site a place where women can go to seek advice from other women about interpersonal dilemmas. In her post, the woman explained that she and her husband were recently in a store when they passed a woman in 'tight-fitting' pants, which the woman said were 'very flattering for her admittedly lovely backside.' The original poster (OP) then said that after she and her husband were out of earshot of the woman, her husband turned to her and asked if she could 'buy pants like that,' because he 'liked the view.' The OP went on to say that her husband knows she is 'self-conscious' about her weight and so 'wouldn't wear anything really tight.' 'I think he wasn't making an observation [about] her fashion choice, but was being sleazy about her appearance and made me feel bad in the process,' the OP continued. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 'Would you have been offended at this, too?' she asked her fellow community members at the end of her post. Many of the woman's fellow community members said they thought she was overthinking the comment — and some even said they thought her husband was trying to compliment her. 'I'd take this as a compliment. Your husband saw a style of pants that he thought would look flattering on you and tried to prompt you [to get them]. Buy the pants, OP … You never know, you might love how you look in them and see something that your husband sees!' one person said. 'He's telling you he thinks you have a nice body and should show it off. He is telling you he doesn't see what you see in yourself,' added someone else. However, others thought that the woman's husband could have handled the situation with more tact. The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now! 'I think it was a rude thing for your [husband] to say. It's one thing to notice another woman's arse — it's quite another to chat to your wife about it,' someone said, adding, 'If he genuinely thinks those pants would suit you, there would be a more appropriate time to suggest them to you. In direct comparison with another woman is never going to make you feel nice.' Read the original article on People
Daily Mail
15-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Aussie gym's controversial dress code sparks backlash among members: 'Controlling and overbearing'
A popular gym's dress code had stoked a fiery online debate - with some confused as to why some sportswear isn't acceptable but others defending the clothing rules. Camperdown Fitness, in Sydney 's inner-west, introduced its fashion guidelines that discourage short-shorts, boob tubes, one-shoulder tops and showy muscle singlets earlier this year. Many members wrote online that the new dress code was 'overbearing' with many asking why small clothing details were under such scrutiny. TV monitors around the gym constantly rotate a series of images showing 'correct' and 'incorrect' attire for those those exercising. One customer claimed the unrelenting dress code graphics made them and several others feel uneasy and self-conscious. 'I tried to raise how this was making members uncomfortable and that it seemed to be overstepping the mark around what people can and cannot wear,' they wrote. 'The staff member was highly dismissive. Told me I was too easily offended and that I should find another gym.' Some viewers expressed confusion as there appeared to be very little difference between what gymgoers are and aren't allowed to wear. For men, some singlets are given a tick but others with slightly different designs are a no go. For women, more clothing items are disapproved of including ruched style short with drawstrings that are slightly higher than the standard length. Singlet tops are given the nod - but only if they go over both shoulders. While some questions the differences in styles, others were shocked the gym was trying to control people's clothing at all. 'This gym claims to cater to a wide range of athletes, including bodybuilders and powerlifters,' said one person. 'But their rules don't reflect that at all. Instead of creating an inclusive and welcoming environment, they're fixated on controlling what people wear - even in 2025.' 'It's one thing to have a reasonable dress code, but advertising these rules on TVs and plastering them all over the gym walls is downright insane. 'Instead of focusing on training and community, it feels like they're more interested in micromanaging members' clothing choices.' The gym insisted its new dress code helped foster its 'family-friendly' atmosphere The gym's owners, Michael Wood and Paul Vella, said the dress code was created to maintain Camperdown Fitness' 'family friendly environment'. 'Our guidelines require appropriate athletic wear that ensures safety during equipment use and maintains our family-friendly environment serving ages 14+ with an onsite creche,' Mr Wood told the Daily Telegraph. Debate over the gym's dress code has reached outside its customer base with many online viewers claiming the fitness centre was being 'sexist'. 'Sexist and outdated policies dictating what a woman can and cannot wear in the gym. I would suggest you give your staff some training and have a stricter hiring process if a woman's shoulder is offensive,' one woman wrote online. 'Can't believe we are in 2025 and dictating what women can and cannot wear … even at the gym … Such strange sexist views,' another said. However, there were also commenters who applauded the gym for upholding its family-friendly reputation. 'For what it's worth, I support your new dress code for both men and women, so it's not sexist or aimed at one gender,' one man wrote. 'Gyms are for getting fit, not walking around posing in front of other gym users. It's a gym. 'You're not there to look good. If you want to look 'good', dress up and do it on a Saturday night.' Another said: 'There is a dress code but only a few items not allowed and I understand why, otherwise it becomes a fashion show. Even bars, planes, buses, trains, restaurants and shops all have set dress codes. 'I like that even the clients with amazing bodies keep it modest out of respect for those of us trying to look better. 'It's about encouragement about being a better you, setting goals and not a ''look at my latest outfit'' type place.' In response to the complaints about the TV graphics, Mr Wood said: 'As a community facility, we maintain standards for comfort, hygiene, and safety for all members. We provide friendly reminders when needed.'
