Latest news with #selfimage
Irish Times
3 days ago
- General
- Irish Times
‘My 16-year-old son doesn't like the way he looks. He seems to be struggling with puberty'
Question My 16-year-old son doesn't like the way he looks. He won't have his hair cut as he is trying to cover his face with his hair. This is causing students in his class to make nasty comments about his appearance. On occasion he is refusing to go to school because he doesn't want anyone to see him. He is very anxious and avoids social situations. He doesn't socialise outside school, but talks to friends online. He has now said he doesn't like his friends and doesn't want to hang out with them at school any more or speak online. He won't say why. I have tried to explain that it doesn't matter what people look like and he shouldn't care what people think. Also, I have talked to him about building resilience. He seems to be struggling with puberty and how his body is changing and also his features. This is really impacting his life now and affecting his school work. I read online about 'body dysmorphia disorder' and wondered if this is what is affecting him. We are not sure how to help him and would appreciate your advice. READ MORE Answer Lots of teenagers worry about their appearance or are unhappy about certain parts of their body. When these feelings and thoughts become excessive so that they start negatively affecting their quality of life, then the teenager may have a condition called body dysmorphic disorder. This can start off mild and then become more serious as the negative thoughts become habitual, and the teenager can spend large amounts of time ruminating and obsessing about their appearance. This can lead to low self-esteem and avoiding going out to meet people socially. As you have discovered, simply reassuring your teenager that they look fine or that they should not worry about what other people think usually does not reduce their obsessions – they may know this rationally but are finding it too hard to control their negative thoughts. [ Body image: 'It's a total bombardment of social media' Opens in new window ] Listening to your son Try to encourage your son to talk about what is going on for him. Ask him to describe his thoughts and feelings in detail. For example, encourage him to talk about how he feels going out and how he thinks growing his hair might help him. As you listen try to communicate compassion and understanding: 'Lots of people ruminate about their appearance – it can be really hard to change this.' Initially you are not trying to 'judge' or 'challenge' what he is saying, you are simply trying to help him talk and vent his feelings – this will help him feel better and not alone. Helping your son talk Of course, lots of teenagers find it hard to open up about something as personal as their body image, and asking too many direct questions can feel like a pressure and make them close down. In this instance it can work to take a step back and communicate a message that you are there for them when they are ready to talk. You can also make sure to be available at the times your teen is more likely to talk (such as travelling one to one to activities or late at night when they are more open). You can also create daily 'opportunities for conversation' such as arranging a trip when you can be one to one and relaxed together. Naming what is going on Naming his condition as something external to him could be helpful. You can start this conversation by talking informally about BDD – 'it sounds like you might be suffering from body dysmorphia disorder; this can happen to lots of teenagers'. Then you can encourage him to seek a diagnosis and further help (see below). A diagnosis of BDD could help him view his condition more objectively and help him to realise that he is not alone – that lots of teenagers feel this way. It also means that you both can research the condition online. Check out together some of the reputable medical websites, which describe BDD and related conditions as well as treatments and support groups that he might be interested in attending. Getting help You can seek formal assessment and support by going to your GP to get a referral to your local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS). The recommended treatments for BDD include: Supportive counselling to help him talk through his feelings Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to help him change his negative thoughts and ruminations Family therapy to help you support him and medication, notably SSRIs, which are a type of antidepressant that have been shown to have a positive impact. Finally, overcoming BDD and body image concerns can take some time. It is important to help him live his life well despite his ruminations. Continue to support him to get involved in his passions and fun activities and to support him to reach out and make friendships whether online or face to face. John Sharry is clinical director of the Parents Plus Charity and an adjunct professor at the UCD School of Psychology. See
Daily Mail
5 days ago
- Health
- Daily Mail
Man United title winner opens up on battle with depression and anxiety after being brutally mocked - with Gary Lineker apologising to him
A former Manchester United star says he used to be anxious to leave the house because of mockery over his looks. Luke Chadwick, who won the Premier League in 2001, says the 'abuse' left him feeling 'helpless' and unable to bring it up to anyone. The academy graduate played alongside the likes of David Beckham and Roy Keane but that status did not shelter him from mockery over his looks. Chadwick was the weekly butt of jokes on BBC TV show They Think It's All Over, something he has previously said would 'eat away' at him. Host Nick Hancock and Gary Lineker, a team captain, have apologised down the years. Chadwick told BBC Sport: 'As a 19, 20-year-old it should have been the best time of my life but for a period of time… I didn't want to go to the shops, I didn't want to go out with my friends… I would just want to stay at home because I was so scared that people would talk about the way that I looked. 'I think it was away from the game that it affected me more, and it was something that I became obsessed by internally, and I didn't like leaving the house because, in my mind, I would just be abused or teased about the way I looked when, in reality, that wouldn't be the case. 'My thoughts were to be vulnerable was to be weak - 'I can't show any sign of weakness' – when, in reality, our vulnerability is our biggest strength,' he says. 'I wasn't able to speak about it to anyone – not even my family, my friends – it was something that I kept so deep inside… and probably felt helpless, in a way, because I just didn't know how to deal with it… and I just wanted it to stop, really. 'It wasn't until I came away from Manchester United, and the spotlight's not on you as much... that I was able to rebuild my confidence and live a really happy life. 'Football was always the place I felt free; the place where I didn't think about anything else.' Chadwick, 44, has released an autobiography called Not Just a Pretty Face, sharing stories from his career. He is now the director at the Football Fun Factory, providing training and experiences for toddlers and children in over 50 locations across the UK. The midfielder from Cambridgeshire was scouted by United aged 14 and Sir Alex Ferguson rang his mother to grease the wheels of him signing up. He went on to make 39 appearances for United before spending time at Royal Antwerp, Reading, Burnley, West Ham, Stoke, Norwich, MK Dons, and Cambridge United in a career which encompassed all of England's top five divisions.
The Guardian
20-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
Altered images – why does my mirror make me look so bad? The Edith Pritchett cartoon
Altered images – why does my mirror make me look so bad? The Edith Pritchett cartoon
Daily Mail
18-05-2025
- General
- Daily Mail
I know what's behind the super-skinny trend sweeping Sydney's elite. It's time someone exposed this open secret before it's too late. AMANDA GOFF
If you read my columns or my books, you'll know I'm a straight shooter. I don't mince my words, and I have strong opinions. But one thing I'm always extremely cautious about is making personal comments about women's bodies.
Daily Mail
15-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Swimming great Cate Campbell blames CAPITALISM for making women feel bad about their looks as she hit back at trolls who slammed her over her appearance
Australian swimming legend Cate Campbell has taken aim at capitalism for driving unrealistic beauty standards for women while hitting back at trolls who have targeted her over her appearance. The four-time Olympian, 32, has been spending a lot of time in front of the camera doing media appearances since she retired from competitive swimming last year. Cate explained that she loves the work, but seeing herself on screen so much has made her more aware of how she looks. 'Suddenly I've felt all my insecurities creeping back,' she said in an Instagram post. 'So much of society is about what we look like and the people who are on camera look a very certain way... 'I am 32 years old and I don't know what I'm supposed to look like and when I'm on camera and watching myself back all I can see are these wrinkles around my eyes or the puffiness or my eyelids or these lines on my forehead.' Campbell's candid post was met with a wave of positivity from her followers, but it also attracted some attention from online trolls. The swimming great fired back at them with a second video, noting that her post was 'not a critique on anyone's personal choices, rather an interrogation of the beauty standards our capitalist society has created for us.' 'There was your run-of-the-mill basic bitch trolls, which I kind of expected. "You look terrible", "Oh my gosh, I can't believe you're 32, you look more like 60, 50, 40" and that was pretty predictable.' Campbell explained that she also received comments from people who she called 'concerned trolls'. 'They looked at me and they still thought that what I looked like for my age was unacceptable, but they couched their horror in concern and started trying to rationalise and figure out why I would look the way that I look at the age that I am,' she continued. 'I got told that I had too much sun exposure, that I should wear SPF, that I should not drink alcohol or eat sugar, that I should stay in the shade, that I should have all kinds of antioxidants.' Some trolls even wondered if she smoked cigarettes and suggested that the former Olympian should 'lead an active, healthy lifestyle'. 'Do you know what one of the biggest, contributing factors to aging is?' Campbell said. 'It is stress and let me tell you, going to four Olympic Games is very stressful. So maybe that has something to do with the wrinkles on my face.' Campbell went on to say that she's realised society views aging as something we can avoid if we try hard enough, rather than a natural part of life. 'It feels like we are unable to look at people and see their value based on what their faces look like because we look at them and if it doesn't fit into a very small, narrow beauty standard, we think that they should have tried harder,' she added. 'And I'm just not sure that I want to subscribe to that.' She thanked all those who had sent messages of support - and then also addressed the negativity she's copped. 'I want to give a bigger shout out to the trolls or to the people who were writing in and giving me advice,' she said 'Telling me to stay inside, to put on SPF, to stay in the shade, to drink more water, to get more sleep who made me feel like what my face was doing was a failing on my behalf, was because I wasn't trying hard enough or doing 'the right things'.
