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People Are Sharing The Moment They Realized Their Mom Was "Just A Girl," And I'm Sitting In A Puddle Of Tears

Sometimes, it's easy to forget that your mom had a whole life before entering motherhood — she had her own dreams, goals, ambitions, and memories before becoming "Mom." And all it takes is a singular moment for the realization to hit. Previously, I asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share when they realized their mom was "just a girl," and the stories are extremely powerful: 1."I took my mom to an Air Supply concert once. I found cheap-ish tickets and invited her to go with me, not thinking it was going to be a big deal. Seeing my mom singing and dancing her heart out shocked me in the best way possible. My mom is usually introverted and reserved, but she was something else during that concert. That night, after we were back home, she told me that that was her first concert in 14 years. It made me emotional. Our mothers are really just living life for the first time, too, and want to experience all the magic life gives." —Bradley, California 2."My mom lives in a senior community, and they recently had a sockhop. My mom went dressed as Rizzo from Grease because Sandy was 'too pure,' and she likes 'bad girls' better. Not only did I realize my mom is still just a girl, but she's also a badass." —bblackberri35 3."My mom was only 14 when she met my dad, and he was several years older than her. She was an innocent young girl being pursued by someone too old for her at the time. She married him at 18. Had she not met my dad, and her life had gone a different route, what would that girl's life be like now? Would she have followed her dreams sooner? I believe she would have." —Kim, 38, Oregon 4."My 'just a girl' moment was a few years ago. My mother loves stuffed animals and has a nice collection on her bed. She grew up with two brothers and little money, so her brothers' toys were prioritized over hers since they could share. My mom never got much, but now she buys all the toys she wants!" —alexandra733654 5."When I watched my mom look at her grandmother in her casket just before the funeral. All I saw in that moment was a little girl who loved her grandmother so very much, saying goodbye. They were the best of friends. And then, my mom turned to my siblings and me and supported us during the service. I don't think she ever really got the chance to just be sad because she was so busy caring for everyone else." —Anonymous, 28, Tennessee 6."My mom, who's been a nurse for 40 years now, grew up loving Barbie. She told me once that she knew she wanted to work in healthcare after having a Barbie who wore a great pair of horseback riding boots. My mom moved as a child, and one of Barbie's boots got lost, so my mom made a cast for her leg so she could still ride her horse without a boot." —Liz, 30, Texas 7."When I was in college, my mom lost her mom, dad, and brother all in the span of one year. After they all died, I got a call from my college bursar saying that I had money that had never been claimed, and so they sent it back. I called my mom and yelled at her, asking why she didn't check the mail and telling her I lost a few thousand dollars. She apologized and said she was dealing with so much that it was possible she didn't see the letter or threw it out by accident. Hearing that made something in me click. I couldn't imagine losing my whole family and not going numb. At that point, I realized my mom was just a human being going through some shit." —flyerboy6 8."When I told my mom I was pregnant (I had a high-risk pregnancy), she wasn't very supportive. I didn't know why at first. She didn't even want to come to my first appointment, even though I begged her to. It broke my heart and fractured our relationship until recently. I was struggling with postpartum, and she was there for me when I was having an episode. She held me and told me she understood. She then explained why she was so distant and unsupportive: before having my older sister, she'd been pregnant with another baby, whom she lost when he was two months old. My mom didn't want me to potentially experience that loss or mental warfare at such a young age." —queenlovie 9."When my mom brought me a Mother's Day present despite me not being a mother. When I asked why she gave me one, she said, 'I don't have my mother anymore.' It made me realize how much daughters will miss their mothers, regardless of age." —Amanda, 27, Indiana 10."My mother, who can only be described as uptight and disapproving of all things even remotely 'edgy,' has a belly button piercing. My dad was the one who told me, and my mom confirmed. She even explained how she was desperate to hide the piercing from her parents after she got it. She then revealed she loved 'goth' music when she was my age and always wore all black, which she also hid. I never thought in a million years that my mom would have allowed herself to get any piercings other than in her ears. I especially never imagined that a woman my grandparents described as a 'golden child' would have ever hidden anything from them. As someone who is a bit 'edgy' and 'alternative' but not always comfortable expressing their style, hearing that my mom was similar to me when she was young was eye-opening. Maybe we're more similar than I'd like to admit." —Slate, 19, California 11."My mom got pancreatic cancer when she was 83. Thank God I was able to be around to help during those few years. She died at 84, a week before she would be 85. She said to me one day, 'I am so sorry you are having to help me.' I told her that she had taken care of me all my life, and that I only wished I could have done more for her. I realized in that moment how much my mother had given up in her life just to take care of my dad, brother, and me. I miss her every day and wish that I had spent even more time with her. She never even complained about how bad she was feeling." —Anonymous 12."My moment was when we were going through my mom's high school and college photos, and she excitedly narrated the backstories behind each one. She spoke of the holidays she went on and the volunteering she used to do with her huge group of medical college friends. She looked so young! For a long time, I saw her as this authoritative figure. However, with my experience and being older than she was at the time, I was able to recognize that she sacrificed her education, family, and friends (values I could never forego) to move across the earth for marriage. She had a whole life before marriage and potential for a prestigious career, but started from scratch in Australia, building a life for me. It is extremely satisfying watching my mom be her young self again as she is beginning to realize that she can, in fact, live like she did in her stories." —Anonymous 13."After my dad passed, it took my mom a while to get back into the dating scene (understandably). But when she did, and she had a first date planned with a man her friend introduced her to, she nervously called and asked if I could help her with her hair and makeup. She looked incredible that night. She tried on outfits while I helped her choose which one to wear, and I saw my mom in a different, but even brighter light. She ended up marrying the guy." —Aracely, Florida 14."I wish this story were more positive, but it gave me such insight into the generational trauma surrounding body image issues. My mom shared with me the first moment she felt shame about the size and shape of her body. Her mom had cut out a picture from a magazine in the late '60s or early '70s, taped it to my mom's bedroom mirror, and said to her, 'You could look like that if you tried.' It broke my heart for my mom, knowing how many diets she had tried since before I was born, and how much smaller-sized clothing my mom held onto because she thinks she'll fit into them again one day. It's like she feels like her purpose is to make her body smaller, and I hate seeing her that way." —Anonymous 15."It took me until my early 20s to really start dating, and even then, I found it hard to talk about it with my parents (whom I was living with at the time). I remember talking about some of my dating anxieties with my mom and having her tell me what it was like when she first met my dad. She had only been a year or two older than I was at the time, and already divorced from a bad marriage. She had no interest in dating again, but she and my dad became friends, and now they've been married for almost 30 years. Hearing her talking about dating at my age, with some of the same struggles I have and others I could never imagine, really put her life before me into perspective. My mom was just like me — a young woman with a whole, complex life, just wanting to protect her heart." —Anonymous 16."My mom was only 19 when she had me. By 23, she had three kids, and by 30, she had five. We never really got along when I was growing up. My mom was a single mom, so she worked all the time, and we were never able to have a close bond; I felt like she never understood me. I'm 31 now, and I've been actively trying to work on my trauma for a couple of years. I realize now that my mom was just a child having children. She was kicked out of her house by my grandparents for getting pregnant at a young age, but she still worked her butt off to give us a good life. I understand now that my mom was doing the best that she could, and that she was just a girl with no guidance on how to raise children. It breaks my heart." —Anonymous 17."There were two situations where I saw my mom as 'just a girl.' The first one was before COVID-19. My mom and her friend's daughter had come over to do a dance my mom had choreographed together. When they were doing it, I remember thinking, Mom's looking the happiest she's been in years. I realized then that dancing was one of her passions, and every time I see her dance, it reminds me of that moment." "The second time was earlier this year. My mom's dad passed away, and we had to go to India for the rituals and the funeral. My older brother and I hadn't gone back in a little over eight years. We were driving somewhere in a rickshaw when my mom saw a vegetable that my brother and I had never eaten fresh before. She told the driver to stop, giddily got out, retrieved the vegetable, and said, 'You guys HAVE to experience this. It's amazing fresh.'" —Anonymous 18."I realized my mom was 'just a girl' once I found out she got married at 18 and had me less than a year later. Yes, my parents love each other very much, but I also know that my mother's family was completely okay with marrying off their daughters when they were 17, 18, or 19, and completely expected them to get pregnant in their late teens or early 20s. Sometimes, I feel like maybe my mom was pressured into marrying my dad." —Anonymous "Growing up, my mom was and still is my rock. Together with my dad, she took care of everything and called the shots, had solutions, and more — everything a powerful Latin woman is. As time passed, she became my grandma's primary caretaker and once again took control and delegated Grandma's care to her siblings. My grandma passed last year; she was 98! My mom and her siblings took care of the services and arrangements. Standard stuff. Before we knew it, the day came to bury my grandma. As the funeral home director was getting ready to close the casket and take my grandma to the church for her funeral mass, my mom just knelt in front of the casket and bawled her eyes out. I haven't seen her cry like that ever, and it made me sad for her." "Here she was, the ball-busting, find-solutions-for-all, outspoken, strong-in-the-face-of-adversity woman, completely broken down. She was talking about how my grandma was always there for her, and how Grandma never judged her for her mistakes growing up. My uncles were consoling her while my mom just cried. It hit me there that my mom was missing her mom, and while my grandma was almost 100 and my mom was 65, she's just a girl who wanted her mom and will always miss her." —Marcia, 34, New Jersey BRB, I need some tissues. Was there ever a moment when you realized your mom was once just a girl? Let us know in the comments, or you can anonymously share your story using the form below! Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.