Latest news with #sexlessmarriage
Yahoo
20-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
People In Sexless Marriages Are Sharing How They Cope, And It's Way More Heartwarming Than I Expected
In an ideal world, a relationship would be emotionally and physically fulfilling. But sometimes life can get in the way, leading to the physical side of a relationship ending up on the back burner. In r/AskReddit, someone asked, "How many people are in a sexless marriage? How do you cope?" People wrote in sharing their experiences, and what was surprising was that it wasn't all bleak. In fact, quite heartwarming at times. Here's what people had to say: 1."I remind myself that 'in sickness and good health' was a part of my vows. Neither of us wanted this. He has cancer; it isn't a choice, and I realize that. I also know that he would be understanding if it was me. He is my person, period. Over time, one realizes intimacy takes on a different direction and connotation than sex. One makes it work however they can. With honesty and humor, it works." —Bennington_Booyah 2."My wife has Lupus. I hope one day she's well enough to be intimate again. In the meantime, I'm there for her. Sickness and health weren't just a promise. It's hard sometimes, but it's not something she wants or has control over. We find other things to do together. Lately, it's RoadCraft. Co-op video games are far from sex, but we're together." —GamingTrend 3."Seven years married here. We drifted into almost a full year with zero intimacy after our second kid. A candid talk without blame, checking hormones with a doctor, and carving out kid-free date time helped us reset. Once the fatigue and quiet resentment eased, the spark returned on its own." —ComplaintOwn9909 4."Porn, jerking off, working out a lot, trying hard not to think about the fact that I have another 30-plus years of this until I die. You know, happy thoughts." "I already got a few DMs and want to clarify: It's a 100% legit medical issue with her. It is absolutely not her fault. I might get frustrated or more at times, but I do not at all throw blame on anyone other than the fucking universe. I still get to vent and complain online anonymously, though, because it's not my fault either." —_Dadshome_ 5."It is not fun, and I barely cope. Not having sex is fine, really, but feeling rejected by your spouse is the most soul-crushing thing in the world. I'll have a couple of months where I'm fine, then I'll slip into a headspace where I can't stand the rejection. My self-esteem is absolutely destroyed, and it can affect my mental health. Masturbation doesn't make any difference to me. It isn't the need to orgasm that I miss, it's the connection and validation." —Girlinawomansbody "I agree, the rejection is the worst part. When I was single, the lack of sex didn't really bother me, as I have to have an emotional connection to be intimate. But being rejected over and over has just made me completely give up. The sad part is she hasn't noticed." —Blackmore_Vale 6."It was terrible. The most lonely feeling in the world is having a spouse that doesn't want you. She eventually left me roughly a year ago. Now, I'm no longer in a sexless marriage, I just have a sexless life. But I don't feel nearly as lonely or hopeless as I used to." —Firstborn3 "That is hard to explain to some people. I don't mind being alone without sex. I mind being with someone without sex." —MessedUpVoyeur 7."I've been writing smut for myself. " —Marmamat 8."My wife has MS. She told me the night we met. Although I didn't know what I was getting into then, I'm more aware of it now. Touching her is like sending shock waves through her body. She's not in a wheelchair even though she's had her diagnosis for almost 25 years. We're both in our early 50s. She's super smart, funny, crass, sexy, and all tatted up — everything I want in a woman. We built our final home three years ago. It's ADA-compliant and ready for her if she ever needs it to be wheelchair accessible. She's my person. Sex isn't everything. We've had great sex together. Now, we have a great life together." —Chutson909 9."I originally was going to pass on this, but I read several posts and felt sorry for a few of you. My wife of more than 45 years and I had a fantastic sex life even after kids. She now has Alzheimer's, and I am her caregiver. I take care of her all day, every day. Sex is a thing of the past, as she no longer has the capability of understanding it. As I sit in my office late at night, sometimes relaxing and gathering my thoughts, I still get aroused by the memories. I want to say to all of you, still young and having issues, fix them and talk to your partner." "Someday, memories will be all that you're left with and it makes me sad to read some of this stuff. Don't feel sorry for me because as I reminisce, I have a huge smile on my face." —CelebrationMedium152 10."We're both just not that into it. I find joy in other things and so does she. We both have personal reasons from our past as to why we aren't that into it, but yeah, it's never bothered me." —Particular_Stop_3332 11."Lots of masturbation." —BobsOtherAccount "This. And tears. Lots of tears." —BrilliantNo1622 12."We're both on antidepressants that kill our sex drive. Honestly, it's great! I love my wife. She's my best friend. I think she's beautiful and sexy and smart and amazing, but I have no urge to act on that physically, and she's in the same boat." —mostlyyghostly 13."My wife has fibromyalgia and Sjogren's syndrome, so she's frequently tired and not feeling well. She also has a demanding job on top of our kids being in demanding activities. Not having sex isn't ideal, but I didn't get married because I was trying to get laid constantly. I got married because she's my best friend. We have been trying to include each other in more of our hobbies as a substitute, so she comes golfing with me and my friends now. I go to game nights with her coworkers and friends. It isn't a 1:1 swap, but at least we still have a relationship. I'm hoping someday we get back to having regular intimate relations, but until then, we're just trying to continue enjoying each other's company. —odd-duckling-1786 14."Menopause and antidepressants killed it. She is the love of my life. I hope it will change. Nobody asks for it, and it's upsetting, but then you accept that it's the way things are now." —Fun-Contribution-601 15."My wife hit menopause, and the sex kind of dried up. I have health issues that make sex a tough thing for us, also. I think we don't 'cope,' we just accept. And we're not completely devoid of sex; it's just VERY infrequent. You wouldn't know by how we flirt, though. I think the important thing that we both remember is that it's still us, and we still take every chance to remind each other how sexy we think the other is. My ass gets squeezed on the regular, and so do my spouse's boobs. The point being, we still LOVE and adore each other, so we still have FUN." —bbbourb 16."My partner is asexual, but I'm not. I knew what I was signing up for, and it's not a big deal to me. If ours had been a sexual relationship from the beginning, it might be different, but I doubt it. I'm perfectly capable of seeing to my own needs." —FeatherShard 17."A vibrator!" —Upbeat_Vanilla_7285 18."Marriage vows are more than sex, the same way as houses are more than the kitchens. While that's true, it shouldn't be used to imply that sex is optional. Love means doing what is necessary for the other person's benefit, which includes sex in appropriate circumstances (in consideration of medical problems, etc.)." —Dangerous_Mud4749 19."I'm in a sexless marriage. We opened it up. The marriage was worth keeping, so we just outsourced sex." —DotCottonCandy 20."Sometimes people have affairs. This is highly criticized, but it happens. It could be that having an affair makes it easier to stay, less irritable, and better to relax. This will get downvotes, but remember, people choose different ways to manage this. I'm an older divorced woman. I don't want another husband, and I'm completely happy with my life. I tried dating for fun and only found men who wanted to get married or control me. I miss and greatly enjoy sex. So, I started seeing married men. They are usually very polite, amazing lovers, enthusiastic, and they know how to stay in their lane." "They're not showing up at my house wanting to meet my family or calling my job. I have a few lovers who are all married. They love their wives and families and don't want to disrupt their lives and potentially hurt a lot of people by getting divorced. But they miss the connection, the fun, and the feeling of being wanted and desired. They would much prefer to make love to their wives. Different people make different choices." —Smooth_Examination81 finally, "It sucks. There are a few strategies I have used over the years. 1. Part of what you get through sex is connection. If you're not having sex, you can still find connection, but it just takes a lot more time and effort to bond. Spend A LOT of positive quality time together. 2. Develop hobbies that fulfill you — exercise, reading, a musical instrument, art, something that gives you joy and relieves stress that you can do alone and be in complete control of when and how often you do it. 3. Masturbate. Like a shit-ton if you have to. If you're feeling alone, neglected, and heartbroken, you'll care a lot less after an orgasm — even if it's self-administered. It's NOT the same, but having some kind of independent control over your sexuality helps." "It's hard, I honestly wouldn't wish it on anyone." —landonpal89 How important is sex in a marriage or a relationship? What are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments. Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
11-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
What happens to your health if you stop having sex?
In a YouGov study, three in 10 people in the UK report being sexually inactive, with almost a fifth of people aged 40 to 44 not having sex. By the age of 74, this figure jumps to 57 per cent. While it's often difficult to get an entirely accurate picture of people's intimate lives, one survey suggests that over a quarter of relationships are sexless. Reasons for abstinence range from being celibate by choice to those who might want sex but are living with a partner who doesn't – so what happens to your body if you stop having sex, and does it harm your health? What is sexual abstinence? Effects of not having sex The benefits of regular sex Why do couples stop having sex? How to boost your sex drive Speaking to your partner 'Sexual abstinence is a choice to refrain from engaging in any form of sexual activity. This may be due to personal, relational, cultural or religious reasons,' says Dr Ali Novitsky, an obstetrician and the founder of Exercising Intimacy, a programme that encourages deeper connection between partners via exercise and sex. The Social Organization of Sexuality, which reported on a survey of 3,432 people in the United States, defined a 'sexless marriage' as a couple who aren't engaging in sexual activity or are having minimal sexual encounters. It can potentially lead to emotional and physical effects, including: Change in hormones Decreased longevity Vaginal pain 'Abstaining from sexual activity can have a variety of effects on individuals, both physically and emotionally,' says Novitsky. 'One of the most immediate effects might be a change in the individual's hormone levels. Regular sexual activity is known to boost the levels of certain hormones, like oxytocin and endorphins, which are associated with feelings of happiness and reduced stress. Therefore, abstaining from sex may potentially lead to decreased levels of these hormones.' Not having sex can also impact your longevity: one study published in the European Journal of Preventative Cardiology found that having sex at least 52 times per year was associated with a 10 per cent drop in heart disease mortality and a 44 per cent drop in non-heart disease mortality. For menopausal or postmenopausal women, not having sex can sometimes lead to worsened symptoms associated with vaginal atrophy. This is when your vagina becomes drier and thinner as a result of declining oestrogen levels, and can lead to itching and burning of the vagina, pain during sex, unusual discharge, and spotting. Studies show that women who have regular sex display milder symptoms of vaginal atrophy than those who don't have sex. Studies suggest that regular sex can lower anxiety levels and help alleviate depression and it's also linked to a decreased risk of heart problems. For men, it's worth noting that prostate health can benefit from frequent ejaculation. A study from 2016 showed that men who ejaculated at least 21 times a month had a lower risk of prostate cancer compared with those who ejaculated four to seven times per month. For women, a study has shown that orgasms can strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which can help avoid incontinence in later life. For men and women, regular sex is good for your immune system. In one study, university students who had sex once or twice a week were shown to have greater immunoglobulin A, an antibody that boosts the immune system. Couples who have sex regularly tend to have longer-lasting and more satisfying relationships. For example, one study found that frequent sexual activity with a partner is linked to improved marital quality, meanwhile other research indicates that frequent sex results in less relationship strain, notably more for men than for women. There are numerous reasons why couples may stop having sex. One survey of 2,000 adults found that 45 per cent of people list exhaustion as the most common reason for their lack of intimacy, followed by 'life being too stressful' (29 per cent), a drop in libido over time (28 per cent), mismatched sex drives (20 per cent) and simply low or no intimacy (19 per cent). Find out more reasons in the chart below. In more detail, Dr Novitsky explains why some people may have a lower sex drive: Daily life pressures: 'For many, the demands of daily life, work, children and other responsibilities can take precedence over intimacy, leaving little time for sex,' says Novitsky. Stress and fatigue can also be significant factors as they can diminish libido (the individual's general sex drive) and sexual desire (the attraction experienced between people in a couple), she says. Physical conditions: 'In some cases, health issues, including hormonal imbalances, menopause or chronic illness, can directly impact sexual function or desire,' Novitsky says. Heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes are all causes of impotence among men. 'If you suspect an underlying health issue, seek medical advice. Hormonal therapy or medication might be helpful,' she continues. Diabetes, heart problems, cancer, chronic respiratory diseases and certain medications have been shown to reduce sexual capacity and the quality of sex life for older people. Age: Research also shows that getting older affects how you feel about having sex psychologically. A study in the Journal of Sex Research examined frequency, perceived quality and interest in sex in 1,170 adults with an average age of 53 over a 10-year period. The people who reported the greatest reduction in the quality of their sex life were those who 'felt older' and already held unfavourable views about what getting older meant. The same study also found the opposite to be true – that the younger people felt, the more satisfying their sex life. Hormonal changes: For women specifically, hormonal issues such as polycystic ovary syndrome can disrupt the libido, and in a survey conducted by Relate, almost a third of women over 60 say they have lost their libido since the menopause. Emotional factors: 'Emotional factors such as depression, anxiety or unresolved conflict within the relationship can also lead to a decrease or cessation of sexual activity.' Some couples may experience a natural decline in sexual frequency over time as the novelty of the relationship wears off,' says Dr Novitsky. 'It's important to remember that a decrease in sexual activity doesn't necessarily indicate a problem. It could merely be a transition into a different phase of the relationship. However, if the lack of sex is causing distress to either partner, it's crucial to address the issue openly and constructively, considering professional help if needed.' Fluctuations in sex drive are normal, and what is considered a low sex drive varies from person to person, says Novitsky. 'The most important aspect is that you feel comfortable and satisfied with your sexual life,' she says. But if you feel a boost is necessary, she recommends a multi-faceted approach that encompasses physical health, mental wellbeing and relationship dynamics: Novitsky recommends getting regular exercise, eating a balanced diet and getting adequate sleep. In fact, a small-scale study of women in 2015 suggested that sleeping for longer the night before increased their sexual desire the next day. Regular exercise can help libido in many ways. A 2015 study of men undergoing androgen deprivation therapy, which lowers testosterone levels, found that regular exercise helped men cope with body image concerns, low libido and relationship changes relating to their treatment. 'Regular physical activity can increase blood flow, enhance mood and improve body image, all of which can contribute to a healthier sex drive,' says Novitsky. 'A diet rich in nutrients can also support hormonal balance and energy levels.' It's important to manage stress, says Novitsky. 'High stress levels can negatively impact libido. Incorporating stress-management techniques such as yoga, mindfulness or meditation into your daily routine can help reduce stress and anxiety levels, potentially improving sexual desire.' Studies also show that therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy can improve sexual dysfunction. A trial involving 198 women found that CBT can play a positive and effective role in improving sexual relationships. Another review concluded that CBT can help erectile dysfunction alongside drug therapies. Major also suggests seeking professional help from a therapist or counsellor who can give you the space, guidance and strategies to help counteract any emotional issues that might be affecting libido. 'Sex can create a sense of connectedness and comfort. Even if the desire is waning, it doesn't mean you can't reach out and be intimate and gain comfort and affection from each other. But that often starts with being able to talk about how you're feeling,' she says. If you're not having sex, don't worry, says Novitsky. 'While regular sexual activity can have certain physical benefits, not having sex does not inherently lead to physical health issues,' she says. There can, in fact, be psychological benefits to refraining from sexual activity. 'It can be a chance to regroup, to get a sense of who you are. There can be a lot of pressure on people to be sexual and to choose to be abstinent can be a huge relief,' says Ammanda Major, Relate's head of clinical practice and a trained relationship counsellor and sex therapist. Studies suggest that people who refrain from sex are no less happy than those who do have sex. It's very common to find that your desire is mismatched with your partner's. Research shows that around 80 per cent of couples regularly experience situations where one partner has a desire for sex and the other doesn't. It's important to talk about it without blame, says Major. She suggests a tentative approach. 'Don't go in all guns blazing: 'I'm not happy, it's your fault…' Start with language like: 'I've noticed recently… I've been thinking that, or I've been feeling that, and I really want to share that with you…' Then ask a question, something like: 'What are your thoughts about that?' A lot of people feel more comfortable telling their partner how they're feeling, but they're not really making much opportunity to listen to what the other person has to say. Open up the conversation and listen.' Many people may struggle with having open and honest conversations about sex within their relationships, but research shows that talking about your needs and desires can improve sexual relations. 'A lot of people are scared to have the conversation because they catastrophise and worry that it means the end of the relationship. But we need to normalise the ebb and flow of our sex drive and keep the lines of communication open. Reach out to each other not just physically but emotionally too – with kindness,' says Major. Dr Novitsky agrees. 'Focus on creating shared experiences, expressing affection and understanding your partner's needs. Every individual and relationship experiences variations in sexual desire, and it's important to navigate these changes with patience and understanding.' Broaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 1 month with unlimited access to our award-winning website, exclusive app, money-saving offers and more.
Daily Mail
08-07-2025
- General
- Daily Mail
EXCLUSIVE The ultimate taboo saving couples from sexless marriages: Some wives swear they'll never do it - but I'm told this 'miracle' method is the fastest way out of a dry spell: JANA HOCKING
'Sexless marriage' - two words guaranteed to make couples therapists and divorce lawyers hear a loud cha-ching! Lack of sex is common in long-term relationships, because here's the little secret no one wants to admit: lasting love and toe-curling lust don't always play nicely together.
News.com.au
04-07-2025
- Health
- News.com.au
Could giving up sex be the key to a stronger relationship?
The lights are off, and nobody's home — and apparently, that's a good thing. Turns out, a little less action in the bedroom might be the very thing keeping some couples together. While sexless marriages are usually viewed as a one-way ticket to splitsville, more couples are sharing that their love lives — minus the actual lovemaking — are happier than ever. Take Corey, who told Popsugar in a recent interview that after 13 years with her partner, their relationship reached a whole new high… without going low. 'During the time we weren't having sex, we were growing closer than ever,' Corey said. 'Sex is not the reason we are together; it's just a nice bonus.' The couple, who got together as hormone-fuelled teens, hit a dry patch post-Covid — between chronic fatigue, body image issues and plain ol' burnout. Eventually, they just stopped prioritising sex. 'We just kind of weren't in the mood,' Corey explained. 'We learned to communicate even better and genuinely didn't fight at all.' Instead of calling it quits, they cuddled, kissed, went on dates — and realised their connection didn't hinge on bedroom gymnastics. 'Our relationship is strong, and it's built on mutual respect and genuinely liking one another,' Corey told the outlet. Corey isn't alone. In a related Reddit post, one man raved about his six-year sexless marriage: 'The decision to stay has been the best of my life, by far. For the past few years, I wake up every day feeling so lucky to be next to such a wonderful partner.' And these couples may be more on-trend than they think. As previously reported by The Post, according to a government study analysed by the Institute of Family Studies, Americans are doing it less — or not at all. Sexlessness is soaring among 22- to 34-year-olds, with 24 per cent of men and 13 per cent of women saying they hadn't had sex in the last year. 'In sum, for young adult males, sexlessness has roughly doubled across all measures over the last 10 years,' the IFS noted. 'For young adult females, it has risen by roughly 50 per cent.' One major factor? Fewer folks are getting hitched — and those who are, aren't necessarily getting busy. Even inside marriages, some months are notoriously dry. Post-holiday stress, credit card bills and family drama all contribute to a nationwide libido nosedive. 'It's incredibly common for couples to experience a decline in intimacy during January,' relationship counsellor Simone Jobson told The Post. 'The holidays create a lot of external pressure… most people just need time to rest and recover.' But a cold winter doesn't always mean a cold relationship. As Corey proves, sometimes stepping back from sex helps couples find new ways to connect — and even make their way back to the bedroom. After two years of no sex, she and her beau recently started getting frisky again — but not out of guilt. 'Sex is a wonderful way to connect and feels great, but it doesn't have to be the basis of a marriage,' she said. Forget the seven-year itch — some couples are scratching their way to marital bliss by skipping the sheets altogether.
Yahoo
04-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Couples are choosing to give up sex — and they insist it's saving their marriages: ‘We learned to communicate better'
The lights are off, and nobody's home — and apparently, that's a good thing. Turns out, a little less action in the bedroom might be the very thing keeping some couples together. While sexless marriages are usually viewed as a one-way ticket to splitsville, more couples are sharing that their love lives — minus the actual lovemaking — are happier than ever. Take Corey, who told Popsugar in a recent interview that after 13 years with her partner, their relationship reached a whole new high… without going low. 'During the time we weren't having sex, we were growing closer than ever,' Corey said. 'Sex is not the reason we are together; it's just a nice bonus.' The couple, who got together as hormone-fueled teens, hit a dry patch post-COVID — between chronic fatigue, body image issues and plain ol' burnout. Eventually, they just stopped prioritizing sex. 'We just kind of weren't in the mood,' Corey explained. 'We learned to communicate even better and genuinely didn't fight at all.' Instead of calling it quits, they cuddled, kissed, went on dates — and realized their connection didn't hinge on bedroom gymnastics. 'Our relationship is strong, and it's built on mutual respect and genuinely liking one another,' Corey told the outlet. Corey isn't alone. In a related Reddit post, one man raved about his six-year sexless marriage: 'The decision to stay has been the best of my life, by far. For the past few years, I wake up every day feeling so lucky to be next to such a wonderful partner.' And these couples may be more on-trend than they think. As previously reported by The Post, according to a government study analyzed by the Institute of Family Studies, Americans are doing it less — or not at all. Sexlessness is soaring among 22- to 34-year-olds, with 24% of men and 13% of women saying they hadn't had sex in the last year. 'In sum, for young adult males, sexlessness has roughly doubled across all measures over the last 10 years,' the IFS noted. 'For young adult females, it has risen by roughly 50 percent.' One major factor? Fewer folks are getting hitched — and those who are, aren't necessarily getting busy. Even inside marriages, some months are notoriously dry. Post-holiday stress, credit card bills and family drama all contribute to a nationwide libido nosedive. 'It's incredibly common for couples to experience a decline in intimacy during January,' relationship counselor Simone Jobson told The Post. 'The holidays create a lot of external pressure… most people just need time to rest and recover.' But a cold winter doesn't always mean a cold relationship. As Corey proves, sometimes stepping back from sex helps couples find new ways to connect — and even make their way back to the bedroom. After two years of no sex, she and her beau recently started getting frisky again — but not out of guilt. 'Sex is a wonderful way to connect and feels great, but it doesn't have to be the basis of a marriage,' she said. Forget the seven-year itch — some couples are scratching their way to marital bliss by skipping the sheets altogether.
