Latest news with #sexualawakening
The Sun
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Sun
I asked my husband why we hadn't had sex for 8 years… his answer was brutal but it triggered my sexual awakening
FACING her husband, Vicki Williams said the words that had burned inside for so long: 'Why haven't you wanted sex with me for eight years?' A day earlier, the intimacy-starved mum of 13-year-old twin boys worked out exactly how long she had gone without sex — and was devastated. 5 Tears rolled down her cheeks as Peter repeated the words that shattered her confidence: 'I don't fancy you, because women over 35 just aren't meant to be attractive to men.' His admission not only ended the 19-year marriage, it also triggered Vicki's sexual awakening — which included propositions from a friend's 27-year-old son, randy builders, the postman and even a celebrity. With her confidence boosted, she met a man who she is still enjoying racy sex with two years on. Author Vicki, now 47, from Hammersmith, West London, says: 'For 11 years of our marriage, it was happy. 'Althought unexciting, our sex life was existent and we were intimate at least once a month. 'But when I turned 37, sex and all intimacy, including a kiss, ended. 'Every month I would try to get him to be intimate with me. I organised for nice meals out and bought new lingerie — but nothing ignited the passion. 'If I tried to bring intimacy up he would simply walk away. We weren't even having huge rows — we moved along with our lives as though each of us was a ghost in the house. 'For three years I gave up trying for sex, the rejection was too humiliating. 'I threw myself into hobbies and friendships, but missed intimacy as feelings of unattractiveness crept in. 'The bubbly woman I was at 20 was coming back' 'I'd appraise myself in the mirror and would come to the conclusion I actually wasn't in bad nick. "Since having children I'd gained a couple of pounds on my size ten figure, but I wouldn't be considered overweight. 'I made an effort with my long brunette hair and make-up, and people said to me I looked young for my age. 'My husband was five years older than me, balding and trying to cover it up. 'But I had fallen in love with his personality and had still wanted to be having a sexual relationship with him. 'Questions burned inside me: 'Was he gay? Was he having an affair?' 'But he did not let me ask them — he would slip out of the room as I entered. 5 'One night I sat on the sofa with a glass of wine and tallied up how long we had been sexless. I nearly dropped my glass when it hit me. It had been eight years. 'My kids were growing up and needed me less. If anything, they needed a happy mum, not the shell I had become. 'It was time to confront the issue. I went up to the bedroom we still dispassionately shared, stood in front of the door and, as he walked out of the en suite, I asked him: 'Why haven't you had sex with me for eight years?' 'Stunned, he bluntly replied: 'Women over 35 aren't supposed to be sexually attractive to men. It's nature.' 'I was speechless and asked him to sleep in the spare room — while I sobbed in bed. 'I couldn't live with a life of sexual drought. The next day, I told him it was over — and he simply nodded. 'When we told the boys, they weren't shocked — they knew we were unhappy. Sexless couples 'I then discovered that marriages lacking in intimacy are not unusual. Relationship charity Relate reports that a quarter of couples are classified as sexless. 'I'd have been relieved it was over, but my confidence was ruined. I was terrified I'd never feel alive again. 'I spent a week studying my face and body, appraising for signs of age. 'But as my second week as a singleton dawned, I decided that enough was enough — being single would be better than a sexless, loveless marriage, and I was ready for my life to restart. 'Just six months later I was in a new home — and rather than being a lonely spinster, from the moment I took the wedding ring off, offers from men started coming in. 'I was renovating a maisonette and realised, with shock, that endless tradesmen were giving me the eye. 'I brushed it off as my imagination, until one roofer asked me for a date. 'I was shocked, but he pointed to the indent on my ring finger and said: 'You're clearly single.' 'I told him that I wasn't dating, but there was no denying the surge it brought to my confidence. After not having any compliments or attention for the best part of a decade, I was leaving in my wake a trail of disappointed men. Vicki "The next week, a married kitchen fitter came straight out with the question: 'Would you like a bit of no-strings fun?' 'Amazed, I told him that I wasn't into that — and he laughed and said it was worth a try. 'He was perfectly friendly — and I felt pretty and seen. 'Just days later, a carpet fitter asked if I fancied going for a drink that evening — and the very next day a tiler offered to take me out to a new bistro. 'It felt utterly crazy — after not having any compliments or attention for the best part of a decade, I was leaving in my wake a trail of disappointed men. 'Applying my make-up every morning, I looked at myself appraisingly. 'I really was OK. I had a nice face and made an effort. 'The woman I was at 20, confident and bubbly, was coming back. 'Maybe the tradesmen were confusing my friendly, lively demeanour for flirting. Ego boost 'Even the postman was after me. He showed up on my doorstep with a bottle of brandy, claiming he'd been given it for Christmas by one of my neighbours and wanted to share it with me as I seemed 'lovely'. 'He wasn't attractive to me, so I gave him a kind, but firm 'No'. As I progressed into eight months of singledom, a celebrity sportsman was at an event I was attending. 'We had a laugh together over a glass of white wine. I thought he was just being friendly when he asked for my number, which I handed over. 'But minutes after the event, he messaged asking me to meet him at a hotel. 'I felt flushed with confidence but he wasn't my type so I told him I wasn't currently looking for anything sexual. 'But my biggest ego boost came from my friend's twentysomething son. 'Out of the blue, he shared his older-woman fantasies' 'I'd only known my pal for a few years. Her son had boy-band looks but I'd never considered him as anything other than a nice young guy. 'He had my number as he had wanted help with his career, in the same industry as me, so we were messaging. 'Out of the blue, he started flirting, sharing his older-woman fantasies and exactly what he'd like to do with me between the sheets if I let him. It's not just smoking-hot celebs like model Heidi Klum, 52, and actress Demi Moore, 62, who attract young lovers. Vicki 'I nearly dropped my phone. He was hotter than anyone I'd been propositioned by when I was young. Taking a deep breath, I texted back that I wasn't sure his mum would approve. "But I had finally realised my husband was an idiot and I was not unattractive — in fact, I was in the prime of my life. 'It's not just smoking-hot celebs like model Heidi Klum, 52, and actress Demi Moore, 62, who attract young lovers. "A study from US magazine Men's Health found 64 per cent of young men have fantasies about older women, with 40 per cent specifying ladies in their forties. 'I am certainly not alone in being an object of lust in later life — my single friends are having racy cougar flings too. 'My self-esteem was transformed in three short months and I had never felt more attractive. 'Far from being a past-it, middle-aged frump, as my ex made out, I was hot stuff to loads of men. 'Chemistry was incredible' 'And it was at this moment that a super-hot Mr Right came along and got to be the beneficiary of my newfound sexual confidence. 'I was all dressed up in heels and a little dress at a party and got talking to a guy a similar age to me, with silver-fox looks and the toned body of a man half his age. 'He had me laughing from the start and we arranged to meet again. 'Days later, at a bar, we met and he lent over for a kiss. I was stunned. It was my first snog in almost nine years — but worth waiting for as the chemistry was incredible. 'Days later we met up again for dinner at his home. 'We couldn't resist each other and the sex was smoking-hot. 'My worries about my mum tum, and nerves about being with someone after so long, melted away and he made me feel gorgeous. 'He was infinitely better in bed than my ex, who had always been very unsensual. 'Things moved fast and we couldn't bear to be apart. After six months of dates, he moved into my home. 'Two years later we are still all over each other, whenever the kids aren't around — and happily they love him too. 'He'll wake me up in the night feeling fruity or grab me mid-afternoon when we're supposed to be working from home. I'm more than willing. 'It's like living in a rom-com crossed with a porn film — a thousand miles away from my sexless hell — and it's amazing to feel so desired after the opposite experience. 'As for my ex, his new partner is well over 35 — so I hope he's changed his tune on older women, for her sake.'
New York Times
26-05-2025
- Entertainment
- New York Times
Kidnapped by Corsican Rebels, a Rich Girl Joins the Revolution
If a book could possess 'French-Girl Style' — that aspirational Parisian chic the internet tries to trick me into believing can be achieved with bangs or Repetto ballet flats — 'The Bombshell' would have it. Darrow Farr's debut novel is effortlessly cool: a smart, sophisticated tale of sexual and political awakening over the course of a fateful summer that reads like falling into an Éric Rohmer film. In June 1993, Séverine Guimard is a reluctant transplant from Paris to Ajaccio, the Corsican capital, where her French politician father has been appointed prefect. Like many 17-year-old girls, she is a complex creature: pampered but eager to escape her rich parents, prickly but charming, beautiful but deeply insecure. She dreams of moving to Los Angeles to become an actress, believing herself destined for stardom and a 'big, dazzling, important life.' When we first meet Séverine, she is seducing a classmate. Seen as a snob by the girls at school, Séverine is friendless in Ajaccio, and her extracurricular hobby is claiming the virginities of quiet boys and basking in their devotion. 'She liked the idea of being never-forgotten, a landmark,' Farr writes. 'She liked the feverish tremors they emitted when she ignored them in the hallway afterward.' Already versed in the ways that sex is weaponized against women — the boy she lost her virginity to slut-shames her in school; her father's boss, the minister of the interior, propositions her at a party — she has also learned to wield it as her own tool of manipulation. And the threat of sexual violence looms over what follows: While riding her bike that same evening, Séverine is seized by three masked men, stuffed into the trunk of a car, taken to a cottage deep in the island's wilderness, and held for ransom. It soon becomes clear, however, that her abductors, Tittu, Petru and Bruno, are not seasoned guerrillas but new revolutionaries — virgin militants, you might say — and are unable or unwilling to harm her. Kidnapping Séverine is their first major act as the Corsican independence group Soffiu di Libertà, and it promptly goes awry. The French government refuses their terms for release, and as Séverine's captivity stretches on into the summer, she surprises herself by growing genuinely attached to the men. When Bruno, their de facto leader, introduces Séverine to texts by Fanon, Guevara, Marx and Lenin, she confronts for the first time the cost of her immense privilege. 'She'd always known abstractly that people starved, that girls were mutilated, that people were being slaughtered,' Farr writes, 'but it never occurred to her that that world overlapped in any way with hers. She'd never realized that she lived amid injustice, that she might even be contributing to it.' In a Patty-Hearst-ian twist, Séverine announces to her captors that she wants to join their cause. However, Séverine's motives remain murky. Is she really a believer, or just attracted to Bruno? Is she exploiting them to find the fame she craves? All of the above? Farr expertly dances around revealing the entire truth, which takes a back seat to the action when Soffiu di Libertà starts carrying out a series of bombings with Séverine as their public face. Things become morally grayer at every step, and while Séverine claims she is inspiring a Corsican revolution, the attacks also happen to settle personal vendettas from her old life among the French elite. As both the violence and Séverine's romantic entanglement intensify, she knows the group is 'hurtling toward a cliff's edge on a train whose brakes she herself had dismantled.' The reader spends much of the novel's gripping, propulsive second half bracing for the moment when it all blows up. There is a sense of relief when the book's final section jumps 20 years into the future, and we discover the fates of Soffiu di Libertà's comrades from a slight remove. The narrative structure mirrors Séverine's own transition from girlhood to womanhood: heady and reckless and dangerously fun in its early days, maturing into something a little wiser, sadder and softer by the end.
Yahoo
18-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
I left my husband of 34 years — now I'm having the best sex of my life at 70
She's sexed up at 70. A grandmother who left her husband of 34 years to have hot and heavy hook-ups says she's loving her late-in-life sexual awakening. Tina Pemberton feels younger than ever after downloading dating apps and jumping into bed with new men. 'I'm living life as a teenager,' the randy retiree told Jam Press. 'I feel ageless and I actually think I've become a happier person. I look better than I did 20 years ago.' Pemberton previously lived a quiet life in rural Norfolk, England where she was trapped in an unhappy marriage. 'There was a big age gap, he was 18 years older, and it suddenly didn't work,' the grandmother explained of her former spouse. 'I was full of energy, wanting to do things, and living in the country didn't do it for me.' She decided to divorce her husband and relocate to London, where her son was living. Inspired by her new surroundings, Pemberton turned to dating apps at the behest of a friend. 'I had never been on dating apps in my life,' said the gregarious grandmother, who hadn't been courted since her twenties Soon, it was time for Pemberton to have sex with someone new for the first time in almost half a century. 'They say as you get older you dry up a bit but I met someone who knew exactly what to do. He used lubricants and everything to make me feel good,' she enthused. 'It worked and I could not believe it. I was on cloud nine. I hop-skipped, danced, jumped everywhere — it really does work.' Pemberton doesn't have plans to re-marry, or even acquire a long-term boyfriend. For now, she's enjoying her newfound freedom, despite encountering her fair share of duds on the dating apps and occasionally getting ghosted. Meanwhile, Pemberton also wants to become an advocate for other older women. 'I'm trying to break the taboo of older women enjoying sex and having a love life,' she declared. 'It's very healthy – it's very good for endorphins, good for everything.' 'I would never have thought this would happen to me, and that's why it's so surprising,' the grandmother added. 'They say good things come to those who wait.'
The Sun
17-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
I got on dating apps at 70 after leaving my husband, now I'm living like a teen & the sex is making me happier than ever
AFTER leaving her husband at 70, one woman said is having the best sex of her life after signing up for dating apps. Tina Pemberton, from London, says she's living like a teenager again and feels decades younger. 2 The grandma-of-three has been swiping right, dating, and even spicing up her sex life after leaving her husband of 34 years. She credited her later-in-life sexual awakening as making her look and feel 'ageless'. 'I'm living life as a teenager,' Tina told What's The Jam. 'I embrace every new thing and I don't feel old at all. 'I feel ageless and I actually think I've become a happier person, I look better than I did 20 years ago.' Tina revealed the biggest surprise has been rediscovering her sex life and just how good it can still be. "They say as you get older you dry up a bit but I met someone who knew exactly what to do," she recalled. 'I was on cloud nine. I hop-skipped, danced, jumped everywhere - it really does work.' Tina, who once ran a restaurant in Norfolk before retiring, said every woman deserves to feel good no matter their age. 'You see women on the train and they look miserable and you think - I know what they need," she explained. Taking lovers has improved our relationship but threesome on TV left me in tear 'Every woman needs that at some point.' Tina is now on a mission to break the taboo around older women and intimacy. She explained that society is far too quick to dismiss older women, especially when it comes to love, sex, and dating. 'I just find it very silly, people see your age on a dating app and don't even consider going out with you," she said. 'Why do they think that a human being should change their feelings? Top dating trends of 2025 Swamping: When you find someone you can comfortably share your 'swamp' with and let go of the pressure to be anything but your true authentic self. No-habiting: When you choose to wait longer to move in with your partner because you value your personal space. Fiscal Attraction: When you won't settle for less and you're seeking a match who is financially secure and who you find attractive. Rejuve-dating: When you cast away the blues and grow from past experiences so you can fully embrace the future of your dating journey. Thrift-matised: When you like to go on dates but hit that sweet spot between being cheap and frugal. Hidden gems, loyalty cards - these are all your type on paper. Loud-dating: Cutting to the chase, being open and to the point with what you want so you don't waste your time. Marmalading: When you literally put your other half 'before anything else', much like Britain's most beloved bear's love for marmalade. Digital Ex-pression: The stage after a break-up when you are done grieving and turn to social media to share how you are healing to confidently get back out on the dating scene. Fine-wining: Proactively finding people to date who are older than you and who've aged just like a fine wine. 'Forget about the wrinkles and think about the twinkles.' After decades of marriage, Tina realised something was missing and made the brave decision to start over eight years ago. 'I left my husband and I came to London from the countryside," she said. 'There was a big age gap - he was 18 years older - and it suddenly didn't work. 'I was full of energy, wanting to do things, and living in the country didn't do it for me. 'I really wanted to be doing more things again rather than living my life as a pensioner.' It's been interesting to see how men my age are still playing games. Tina Pemberton Tina moved to London and was enjoying nights at the theatre and going out with friends when someone suggested she try online dating. 'I started getting matches and going out on dates, I had never been on dating apps in my life," she said. But it wasn't long before she found herself with a busy social life and plenty of stories to tell. Tina said she's dated men older, younger, and her own age - but not all of them have impressed her. 'It's been interesting to see how men my age are still playing games," she said. 'I hadn't dated since my 20s and I was quite shocked, they don't mature; they just still expect the same things. We were having dinner and he started talking about his bowel movements. Tina 'One guy met me and immediately grabbed hold of my hand, I didn't even know him.' Some of Tina's other dates have been memorable for all the wrong reasons. Tina recalled how one man brought up his digestion problems over dinner. 'We were having dinner and he started talking about his bowel movements," she said. 'I don't really want to know. Constipation and this, that, or the other - it really put me off my food.' Tina has now been on dozens of dates but says the most meaningful connections have happened off the apps. I get ghosted. They can talk to me for a week and then disappear. It can be offensive but I've grown to understand it and I do the same now. Tina 'Funnily enough, the people I've actually had something to do with have not been through dating apps but through people who introduced us," she explained. 'A couple led to things and we went out once or twice. It's strange but exciting.' Tina decided to sign up to TikTok to talk about her best and worst dates and to encourage other older women to start dating again. Some dates fizzled out and others ghosted her but Tina has learned not to take it personally. 'I get ghosted. They can talk to me for a week and then disappear. It can be offensive but I've grown to understand it and I do the same now," she said. Tina revealed she is open to meeting someone special, just not on anyone else's timeline. Maybe I don't want someone full-time or to get married again, but I would like to find a new lover - I'm not giving up on that. Tina 'Maybe I don't want someone full-time or to get married again, but I would like to find a new lover - I'm not giving up on that," she said. 'I know when it's right, it's right.' Tina hopes that by being open about her experiences, she can help other women feel empowered too, and it's not just older women who enjoy her content. 'Younger women are very inspired, they say, 'I want to be like you at your age'," she said. 'My advice would be to not listen to anyone who tells you that you shouldn't go out and date, have a good time and have a sexual [relationship]. 'I'm trying to break the taboo of older women enjoying sex and having a love life. 'It's very healthy - it's very good for endorphins, good for everything.'
Daily Mail
15-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
I'm a 70-year-old grandmother who uses dating apps every day after leaving my husband of 34 years - I'm feeling years younger (and having the best sex of my life!)
A grandmother who is using dating apps at the age of 70 said she looks and feels decades younger - and is having the best sex of her life. Tina Pemberton, a grandmother-of-three from London, said she's living like a teenager again. She has been swiping right, dating and even spicing up her sex life after leaving her husband of 34 years. She feels her later-in-life sexual awakening has even made her look and feel 'ageless'. 'I'm living life as a teenager,' Tina said. 'I embrace every new thing and I don't feel old at all. 'I feel ageless and I actually think I've become a happier person and I look better than I did 20 years ago.' Tina said the biggest surprise has been rediscovering her sex life, and just how satisfying it can still be. 'They say as you get older you dry up a bit but I met someone who knew exactly what to do. The grandmother-of-three said she is having the best sex of her life after leaving her husband of 34 years and moving on to a new chapter 'He used lubricants and everything to make me feel good. It worked and I could not believe it. 'I was on cloud nine. I hop-skipped, danced, jumped everywhere - it really does work.' Tina, who once ran a restaurant in Norfolk before retiring, said every woman deserves to feel good regardless of their age. 'You see women on the train and they look miserable and you think - I know what they need,' she said. Every woman needs that at some point.' The grandmother is now on a mission to break the taboo around older women and intimacy. Her openness about sex led to her becoming one of Lovehoney's first 'Queen Bees' - a senior sex advisor on a brand's new expert panel aimed at breaking the stigma around sex and ageing. Now, she is using that platform to encourage other women to embrace their desires without shame. She feels society is far too quick to dismiss older women, especially when it comes to love, sex and dating. Tina (pictured here when she was younger) once ran a restaurant in Norfolk before she decided to retire 'I just find it very silly,' she continued. 'People see your age on a dating app and don't even consider going out with you. 'Why do they think that a human being should change their feelings? 'Forget about the wrinkles and think about the twinkles.' After 34 years of marriage, Tina realised something was missing and made the brave decision to start anew eight years ago. 'I left my husband and I came to London from the countryside,' she said. 'There was a big age gap - he was 18 years older - and it suddenly didn't work. 'I was full of energy, wanting to do things, and living in the country didn't do it for me. 'I really wanted to be active again rather than living my life as a pensioner.' Tina ended her marriage, left her quiet life in Norfolk and moved to London to live with her 31-year-old son Josh. She was enjoying nights at the theatre and going out with friends when someone suggested she try online dating. 'I started getting matches and going out on dates,' she said. 'I had never been on dating apps in my life.' But it wasn't long before she found herself with a busy social life and plenty of stories to tell. Tina said she's dated men older, younger and her own age - but not all of them have impressed her. She said: 'It's been interesting to see how men my age are still playing games. 'I hadn't dated since my 20s and I was quite shocked. Tina regularly posts about her journey online - she wants to break down the taboo of older women and sexual intimacy 'They don't mature; they just still expect the same things. 'One guy met me and immediately grabbed hold of my hand. I didn't even know him.' Some of Tina's other dates have been memorable for all the wrong reasons. 'There was one I spoke to a long time on the phone before I met him for a coffee,' Tina remembered. 'When I saw him sitting waiting for me, I just knew it was wrong - I didn't even want to go there. 'I had nothing to say to him and I'm a very chatty person. It was really embarrassing.' Tina said there was one man who even brought up his digestion problems over dinner. She recalled: 'We were having dinner and he started talking about his bowel movements. I don't really want to know. 'Constipation and this, that or the other - it really put me off my food.' Tina has now been on dozens of dates but says the most meaningful connections have happened off the apps. She said: 'Funnily enough, the people I've actually had something to do with have not been through dating apps but through people who introduced us. 'A couple led to things and we went out once or twice. It's strange but exciting.' Tina decided to sign up to TikTok to talk about her best and worst dates and to encourage other older women to start dating again. Some dates fizzled out and others ghosted her but Tina said she has learned not to take it personally. She said: 'That's when I started recording my stuff on TikTok last year, talking about bad dates and funny ones. 'I get ghosted. They can talk to me for a week and then disappear. 'It can be offensive but I've grown to understand it and I do the same now.' Tina is open to meeting someone special, just not on anyone else's timeline. 'Maybe I don't want someone full-time or to get married again, but I would like to find a new lover - I'm not giving up on that. I know when it's right, it's right.' The 70-year-old hopes that by being open about her experiences, she can help other women feel empowered too. 'Younger women are very inspired. They say, 'I want to be like you at your age.' 'My advice would be to not listen to anyone who tells you that you shouldn't go out and date, have a good time and have a sexual [relationship]. 'I'm trying to break the taboo of older women enjoying sex and having a love life. It's very healthy - it's very good for endorphins, good for everything.' Tina said she's not slowing down any time soon. She added: 'I would never have thought this would happen to me, and that's why it's so surprising.
