Latest news with #sidegroup
The Guardian
a day ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
You can mute – but you can never leave. Why have WhatsApp groups become so stressful?
It's the new last taboo. Officially added to the list of topics you absolutely must not discuss, along with politics, money and religion: the WhatsApp side group. Apparently nobody told Melanie C from the Spice Girls though, because she has just revealed far too much about theirs. 'There are subgroups within the group,' she told the Sydney Morning Herald's Sunday Life magazine. 'I definitely know there is a chat group that doesn't contain me, but somewhere else we keep Ginger or Posh out.' Staying up to date with your side chats – not least ensuring each message you send doesn't go on the wrong thread – is the most anxiety-ridden full-time job most of us have ever had. A friend of mine has a group with five mums from her daughter's class, and another whittled down to four of them, then more with three, two and one. How she keeps track without the use of a murder investigation board with red strings pinned to photographs is genuinely a mystery. The latest data tells us what we already knew: WhatsApp is the most popular messaging app in the world with more than 3 billion monthly active users. I think at this point I'm in a group with all of them. There's no faster, easier, more convenient way of staying in touch and making arrangements – and that's the problem. It's so quick and simple to set up a group that any social situation including more than two participants seems to result in one being formed. Often the conversation goes on, whether out of desire or politeness, long after the event has passed. This method of interacting can lead you down some ludicrous avenues, such as the recent debate I found myself in about whether 'hearting' an invitation means you're simply thanking the person for their kind offer or formally accepting it in a legally binding manner. (For the record, it's the former, right?) Complicating matters further is that we're not only in groups with our mates, but also those we know only barely, or sometimes not at all. I'm on a local WhatsApp group, formed to support quarantining neighbours in 2020, that's now a forum for questions that could have been Googled, passive-aggressive comments, and generous offers of free furniture people can't be bothered to take to the tip. It's filled with characters I've mostly never met but feel intimately acquainted with, and I have several side groups with friends on my road discussing the more controversial posts. Even the profile picture is divisive – one member's cat, Daisy, who half the street love and enjoy sharing sightings of, and the other half (secretly) hate because she defecates on their doorsteps. Recently a newcomer who'd left his back door open in the hot weather reported that Daisy had strolled into his house and started eating his dinner, with photographs to prove it. My phone got so hot through side-chat action I was worried it might explode. Worth it. It's fast becoming second nature to double check that each message is being put on the correct thread before posting, like the modern equivalent of the adage 'measure twice because you can only cut once'. Deleting, even if you're so lightning quick nobody had yet read it, leaves a notification that's such a clear admission of guilt you may as well have not bothered. Imagine what everyone would be saying in the side chats about you then! I took a vow of silence on our school chat when a fellow mum's husband read ours over her shoulder and observed sagely: 'No one comes out of this looking good, do they?' Legend has it that another class has a note pinned to the top of their group with the rules that must be abided by within, including, 'No LOLs.' The author's ears must have been warmer than my phone the day she typed that. And anyway, there's only one real law when it comes to WhatsApp groups and subgroups – muting the thread is fine, but actually exiting is not the done thing. Whatever you preface your farewell with, those you leave behind will get the message '*Your name* has left the group', with all the hair flicking and flouncing out that implies. Etiquette-wise, it's a no. You've made/been added without consent to your WhatsApp bed, and now you will lie in it for the rest of your life. A la the Hotel California, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.
The Guardian
a day ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
You can mute – but you can never leave. Why have WhatsApp groups become so stressful?
It's the new last taboo. Officially added to the list of topics you absolutely must not discuss, along with politics, money and religion: the WhatsApp side group. Apparently nobody told Melanie C from the Spice Girls though, because she has just revealed far too much about theirs. 'There are subgroups within the group,' she told the Sydney Morning Herald's Sunday Life magazine. 'I definitely know there is a chat group that doesn't contain me, but somewhere else we keep Ginger or Posh out.' Staying up to date with your side chats – not least ensuring each message you send doesn't go on the wrong thread – is the most anxiety-ridden full-time job most of us have ever had. A friend of mine has a group with five mums from her daughter's class, and another whittled down to four of them, then more with three, two and one. How she keeps track without the use of a murder investigation board with red strings pinned to photographs is genuinely a mystery. The latest data tells us what we already knew: WhatsApp is the most popular messaging app in the world with more than 3 billion monthly active users. I think at this point I'm in a group with all of them. There's no faster, easier, more convenient way of staying in touch and making arrangements – and that's the problem. It's so quick and simple to set up a group that any social situation including more than two participants seems to result in one being formed. Often the conversation goes on, whether out of desire or politeness, long after the event has passed. This method of interacting can lead you down some ludicrous avenues, such as the recent debate I found myself in about whether 'hearting' an invitation means you're simply thanking the person for their kind offer or formally accepting it in a legally binding manner. (For the record, it's the former, right?) Complicating matters further is that we're not only in groups with our mates, but also those we know only barely, or sometimes not at all. I'm on a local WhatsApp group, formed to support quarantining neighbours in 2020, that's now a forum for questions that could have been Googled, passive-aggressive comments, and generous offers of free furniture people can't be bothered to take to the tip. It's filled with characters I've mostly never met but feel intimately acquainted with, and I have several side groups with friends on my road discussing the more controversial posts. Even the profile picture is divisive – one member's cat, Daisy, who half the street love and enjoy sharing sightings of, and the other half (secretly) hate because she defecates on their doorsteps. Recently a newcomer who'd left his back door open in the hot weather reported that Daisy had strolled into his house and started eating his dinner, with photographs to prove it. My phone got so hot through side-chat action I was worried it might explode. Worth it. It's fast becoming second nature to double check that each message is being put on the correct thread before posting, like the modern equivalent of the adage 'measure twice because you can only cut once'. Deleting, even if you're so lightning quick nobody had yet read it, leaves a notification that's such a clear admission of guilt you may as well have not bothered. Imagine what everyone would be saying in the side chats about you then! I took a vow of silence on our school chat when a fellow mum's husband read ours over her shoulder and observed sagely: 'No one comes out of this looking good, do they?' Legend has it that another class has a note pinned to the top of their group with the rules that must be abided by within, including, 'No LOLs.' The author's ears must have been warmer than my phone the day she typed that. And anyway, there's only one real law when it comes to WhatsApp groups and subgroups – muting the thread is fine, but actually exiting is not the done thing. Whatever you preface your farewell with, those you leave behind will get the message '*Your name* has left the group', with all the hair flicking and flouncing out that implies. Etiquette-wise, it's a no. You've made/been added without consent to your WhatsApp bed, and now you will lie in it for the rest of your life. A la the Hotel California, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave. Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.
