Latest news with #socialinteraction
Daily Mail
3 days ago
- Health
- Daily Mail
Top doctor reveals the surprising lifestyle factor that has a huge impact on our immunity - it's not food or drink
Socialising can boost your immune system and increase life expectancy, according to a leading doctor. In an age of longevity clinics and 'biomaxxing' influencers like Bryan Johnson—who has spent millions of dollars on trying to live longer—immunologist Dr Jenna Macciocchi says that a long life doesn't have to cost a thing. Instead she says that a simple lifestyle change can help prevent illness, and it's as simple as enhancing your social interactions. This is because it boosts the immune system—the body's defence against infections—and in the longer term, it can reduce inflammation, a process linked to multiple diseases. Dr Macciocchi, author of the bestselling Immune to Age book which outlines her hacks to live longer, said: 'I think humans have this idea where if you're paying money it therefore must work—the thinking that says: "I'm taking 20 supplements so I'm good—it doesn't matter that I feel really wired and stressed out all the time." 'But our immune system is the single greatest arbiter of both how long we live and the quality of those years.' One of the tricks Dr Macciocchi says is the key to a longer and happier life is social interaction—particularly for people over the age of 60. 'Focus on socialising, connection, and finding joy in the small moments—that is all good for the immune system,' Dr Macciocchi, told the I paper. 'If you're stressed, it puts your immune system on red alert—primed for inflammation. If your thought patterns are calm and relaxed and you have a social connection.' On the Happy Place podcast with Ferne Cotton Dr Macciocchi explains this is because of the 'mind body connection' – or the psychoneuroimmunology. 'The immune system is not in one place in the body, it is everywhere,' says Dr Macciocchi. 'Particularly with the brain, if you see danger with your eyes, that is information that your brain is taking and making an imprint of hormones it puts out into the body your immune cells pick up the signal and get ready for a threat,' which increases inflammation according to the doctor. One of the key hormones for improving the immune system is oxytocin—the love hormone. Oxytocin, also known as the 'cuddle hormone', is released by the body during 'tender moments' - including while hugging and during sex. Immune cells have receptors for oxytocin, which is why the doctor believes that it holds the key to a longer happier life. 'What you are thinking and feeling directly impacts your immunology,' says Dr Macciocchi. 'I am safe, I am loved, these are really key feelings.' 'The oxytocin that's released is calming and anti-inflammatory.' The doctor explains that online interaction is not enough to feel the benefits of socialising. 'There's something about the physical contact—your heart is electromagnetic—eventually your heart beats will synchronise when you're spending time with other people,' says Dr Macciocchi. 'It is why you want to hug a friend, it is why you want to meet with people in real life and have that physical connection. Co-regulation we have is really physical. It's great that we have technology but there is this fundamental thing we can't replace.' Dr Macciocchi also says rather than considering it only when we're unwell, we 'have to think of it as a companion across the decades – befriend it and understand it early in life.' Her other tips include lift weights and limit takeaways in your 30s, destress in your 40s and 50s while focusing on remaining active in your 60s.
CNET
18-07-2025
- Health
- CNET
More Than Half of Teens Surveyed Use AI for Companionship. Why That's Not Ideal
Is your teen using an artificial intelligence chatbot for companionship? If you don't know, it's time to find out. Common Sense Media released a study this week, where it found that more than half of pre-adult teenagers regularly use AI companions. Nearly a third of the teens surveyed reported that conversations with AI were as satisfying as conversations with actual humans, if not more so. Researchers also found that 33% of teens surveyed use AI companions such as Nomi and Replika "for social interaction and relationships, including conversation practice, emotional support, role-playing, friendship or romantic interactions." The study, which surveyed 1,060 teens aged 13 to 17 from across the US over the past year, distinguished between anthropomorphic AI bots and more assistance-oriented AI tools such as ChatGPT, Microsoft Copilot and Google's Gemini. Considering the growing widespread use of AI companions in teens, the Common Sense Media researchers concluded that their findings supported limiting the use of AI among young people. "Our earlier recommendation stands: Given the current state of AI platforms, no one younger than 18 should use AI companions," the research team said. For the past few years, generative AI has evolved at lightning speed, with new tools regularly available across the world and disrupting business models, social practices and cultural norms. This, combined with an epidemic of social isolation exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic, puts teens at risk from technology that their young brains might not be able to handle adequately. Why experts are worried about teens and AI Amid the growing use of chatbots by people to discuss personal problems and get advice, it's important to remember that, while they might seem confident and reassuring, they're not mental health professionals. A.G. Noble, a mental health therapist specializing in adolescents at Youth Eastside Services in Bellevue, Washington, says she isn't surprised by the Common Sense Media study. She pointed to a growing number of adolescents struggling with social skills and with feeling connected to their peers, which she calls a "perfect recipe for loneliness." "What AI companions offer are low-risk 'social' interaction: privacy, no bullying, no worries about the awkwardness of ghosting the AI companion if the kids don't want to talk anymore," Noble said. "And I think everyone can empathize -- who wouldn't want a 'social relationship' without the minefield, especially in their teens?" Debbi Halela, director of behavioral health services at Youth Eastside Services, says teens need to interact with humans in real life, especially in the aftermath of the pandemic of 2020. "Over-reliance on technology runs the risk of hindering the healthy development of social skills in young people," Halela said. "Youth are also still developing the ability to make decisions and think critically, therefore they may be vulnerable to manipulation and influence from information sources that are not always reliable, and this could inhibit the development of critical thinking skills." The American Psychological Association warned earlier this year that "we have already seen instances where adolescents developed unhealthy and even dangerous 'relationships' with chatbots." The APA issued several recommendations, including teaching AI literacy to kids and AI developers creating systems that regularly remind teen users that AI companions are not actual humans. Noble says virtual interactions "can trigger the dopamine and oxytocin responses of a real social interaction — but without the resulting social bond. Like empty calories coming from diet soda, it seems great in the moment but ultimately doesn't nourish." Parents need to encourage real-world activities that involve teens with other people, Noble said. "Real social interaction is the best buffer against the negative impacts of empty AI interactions."
Telegraph
09-07-2025
- General
- Telegraph
How wireless headphones turned Britain into a nation of zombies
'Excuse me?!' I shouted at the woman whose wallet had fallen from the back pocket of her jeans on a busy London street. She didn't turn around, so I ran forward, picked it up and hurried after her. 'Excuse me, you dropped your wallet!' No reaction. I tapped her on the shoulder and she whipped her head around, angry and defensive. Now I could see that she was wearing earbuds, which had been hidden from behind by her long hair. I smiled, held out her purse and clearly mouthed, 'YOU DROPPED THIS'. She took the wallet, robotically, but did not remove the earbuds, smile or speak. As she strode away – still wrapped in her own audio bubble – I doubt she heard my passive aggressively muttered 'You're welcome'. Such rudeness existed before the rise of headphones, of course. But now so many people use them in public (48 per cent of adults in Britain use them for at least two hours a day according to a 2019 study by Audio Analytics) you can sometimes be left feeling that the basic rules of such social interactions are being eroded and the potential pleasures of them lost. Many of my middle-aged friends tell me they find headphones 'essential' for surviving modern city life. They reasonably argue that shutting out the cacophony of strangers keeps them calm. One jokes that she uses hers to insulate herself from the demands of her own family. Another says they're 'invaluable' when it comes to focusing on her work. My autistic friends rely on noise-cancelling headphones to navigate a range of stressful situations. 'I wear really chunky, obvious headphones,' says Lynne, 50, 'to make it clear that I want to be left alone.' I'm not immune to the appeal. I'll catch up on podcasts while walking my dog over the fields. At the gym there is no way I'd pound my way through the pain and tedium of the treadmill without the distraction of motivating podcasts and audiobooks. But if we drown out all of life's affable, mundane chit-chat and only read the more extreme opinions expressed online, aren't we making ourselves more – not less – anxious? Dr Jim Taylor, a psychologist and author based in San Francisco, warns that headphones are a 'purgatory'. 'They prevent us from connecting to the outer world, as well as shutting us off from our inner worlds: our thoughts, our emotions, our physiognomy [the art of 'reading' people's faces],' he says. 'We're neither here nor there, trapped in a limbo where our minds our being filled. We're not developing self-reflection, self-awareness, self-control.' He believes earbuds are a form of 'emotional anaesthetic' which can cause 'irreparable damage' to us as individuals and as a society. Joyce, 62, who works on the checkout at my local Co-op, agrees with him. Always game for a gossip as she rings up my groceries, she tells me that 'people using headphones seldom acknowledge staff here as human beings anymore. They don't respond to our greetings or reply to our questions.' These customers, standing only a few feet from her, share the same space but are in an entirely different world, nodding to the beat of music she can't hear or laughing in her face at podcasters' jokes from which she is excluded. 'It can make you feel invisible.' She sighs. 'I live alone and so I have always enjoyed passing the time of day with customers. Lots of our older customers do still like a chat. We've got a couple who are deaf, but that is very different – they still look for a connection and make eye contact. But some teenagers treat me like I'm an automated checkout.' While I hope I've taught my own teenage children never to behave in this rude way in such situations, at home it can often feel like they're entirely cut off from me by their headphones. It's hard enough to communicate with self-absorbed and grunt-prone adolescents at the best of times. Their brains are already wired to shut us out. Headphones exacerbate the problem and escalate conflict. I love to cook, so by the time I call my kids for dinner I'm usually in a good mood and will summon them to the table in my most Mary Poppins-y voice. But by the time I've called them, unheeded, seven times and the dinner's gone cold, I'll be snapping and snarling like Cruella de Vil. 'Why are you always so angry?' they'll ask, bewildered. For a generation that's always going on about 'feeling seen' it's maddening that they don't seem to realise it's equally important to 'feel heard'. I regularly pass groups of teens at the park, sharing picnic blankets and snacks but all plugged into different soundtracks. Together, alone. Nivedita Nayak, a clinical psychologist, believes that 'persistent headphone use is quietly reshaping how people engage or fail to engage with one another in everyday life'. In her sessions she's spotted a recurring pattern of clients using headphones 'not just for music or podcasts but as a tool to withdraw from their surroundings emotionally'. Nayak says this pattern is especially pronounced among teenagers, who often report that wearing earbuds helps them 'avoid awkward conversations' or 'tune out the world', even in group settings like school lunch breaks or family dinners. One 17-year-old student came to therapy after experiencing repeated conflicts with peers and teachers. He described feeling 'drained' around people and relied heavily on music to get through the school day, wearing earbuds even while walking with friends or sitting in class. Over time, his teachers noticed he stopped engaging entirely during group discussions, and his parents reported that even at home, he would keep one earbud in during meals, nodding but not listening. Like so many coping strategies, his headphones had started to create more problems than they were solving. According to a 2022 survey by the Campaign to End Loneliness, 49.6 per cent of adults in the UK reported feeling lonely occasionally, sometimes, often or always. Another survey in 2021, by audio firm Jabra, found that UK headphone users wore them for on average 58 minutes a day, with 37 per cent keeping them on to deliberately avoid talking to others. Dee Johnson, a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, working in Essex, says: 'I know people are tired of hearing about the fallout from the pandemic, but the isolation and anxiety people experienced during that time saw many people lose – or not develop – social skills. I was already seeing clients who would prefer to email or text colleagues sitting in the same room as them at work. Earbuds make that more common and the less people talk the lower their confidence gets. 'If your head is in a different place to the people around you then you'll miss non-verbal cues. It reduces our ability to develop listening skills and emotional intelligence. We are pack animals but, increasingly, we're chasing to separate ourselves from the herd and this is making us unhappy.' In family situations, she says, this can 'cause resentment and prevent us from developing conflict resolution skills'. During addiction therapy sessions at the Priory Hospital group, Johnson sees people going through rehab with their earbuds in, trying to shut everything out. '[Earbuds] can be helpful and I will remind clients it can be good to go for a walk with some good tunes on,' she says. 'If you're autistic or anxious and your headphones get you through a supermarket trip? Great! But we need to use them in moderation or that sense of control over our soundtrack, the protection from boredom, the false security you get from living in that audio bubble and not being challenged – by your own thoughts or anybody else's – can become the next addiction.' Johnson says she has 'even had clients walk into therapy with their earbuds in. They're so used to wearing them they've become part of their bodies.' But take them off in Johnson's seaside therapy room in Leigh-on-Sea and 'you can listen to the breeze, the sea, the gulls… catch those funny snatches of overheard conversation. Those moments stimulate the brain and spark creativity. They can also do the opposite and connect us with peace.' She points out that 'our primeval brain knows we ideally need all our senses to stay safe, so shutting some down can lead to deeper-seated fears'. Those fears are founded in reality. Most drivers will have slammed on the brakes at some point for a jogger or cyclist who has swerved, obliviously, into their path while headphones prevented them from tuning in to the sound of traffic. With electric vehicles now so quiet, it's even more important for us to stay alert for traffic. Yet the 2019 survey by Audio Analytics found that a staggering 24 per cent of adults in Britain admitted they had put themselves in danger over the previous 12 months when wearing headphones or earphones while walking, running or cycling. The company's research found that the risks were higher for younger people with 37 per cent of those aged between 18 and 34 admitting to finding themselves in at least one hazardous situation over the previous year, with many doing this multiple times. Survey data was not collected for under-18s, but it's assumed that the risks are even higher for school-age children, who often use headphones. 'Learning to live as happy, healthy human beings in a complex society is a skill,' says Taylor. 'And it's one the younger generations are not learning.' He's also the parent of two teenagers, who he says are not allowed to wear earbuds if there is anybody else in the room. 'Because, yes, they are pretty good at texting. But the headphones are an extension of the screens you see people all staring at on the bus so they don't have to make conversation.' Today's teenagers, he adds, have been raised in a divided world where they fear strangers may be hostile and so don't take the spontaneous social risks required to discover that their fellow bus passengers might be friendly or interesting. They miss opportunities to make friends, fall in love, have a laugh and discover, as American writer Bill Nye once wrote, that 'everyone you will ever meet knows something you don't'.
Fox News
09-07-2025
- Health
- Fox News
Why sitting around a campfire might be the therapy session you didn't know you needed
Lighting a campfire and watching as the flames grow and flicker can feel therapeutic — for good reason. Between the light, heat and crackling sound, sitting around a campfire can be a relaxing experience — and experts agree that it can even benefit your mental health. Research published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology has noted "significant reductions" in blood pressure associated with exposure to a crackling fire. Campfires or firepits can also improve social interactions, researchers noted. M. David Rudd, Ph.D., professor of psychology and director of the Rudd Institute for Veteran and Military Suicide Prevention at the University of Memphis, agreed that the natural setting of campfires is "likely effective" for soothing the mind and engaging with others. People sitting around a fire are "digitally disconnected" and isolated from technology distractions and the demands of daily life, the expert noted. "The context is disarming and socially engaged by its very nature, generating implicit expectations of engagement and interaction," Rudd told Fox News Digital in an interview. "We all have memories of being around a campfire and hearing stories — or at least we've heard stories about what it means to be around a campfire." These expectations foster a "supportive, non-threatening environment where people don't feel judged or pressured to engage," Rudd said. Campfires may encourage those who are "hesitant, anxious or unwilling to engage elsewhere" to connect with others and share personal experiences, he added. Jessica Cail, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at Pepperdine University in California, pointed out the association of fire with relaxation, comparing fires to a "social hub where people come together for warmth, light, food and protection." Many holiday celebrations tend to involve fire, and some homes have fireplaces geared toward gathering and connecting, Cail noted in a separate interview with Fox News Digital. "Being in nature involves more of a soft focus … giving our brains a chance to rest and restore." "Given these positive associations, it should not be a surprise that these feelings of relaxation and safety can help facilitate social communication and counteract negative feelings, whether they're explicitly shared or not," she added. Fire is also associated with ritual and transition, such as the use of advent candles or the therapeutic practice of writing regretful or traumatic thoughts down on paper, throwing them into a fire and watching them burn, Cail noted. Nature is restorative, helping to counteract modern life's numerous demands and the need to stay hyper-focused on specific tasks, the expert added. "This is fatiguing for our brains," Cail said. For more Health articles, visit "Being in nature involves more of a soft focus (the sight of trees, the smell of grass, the sound of birds), giving our brains a chance to rest and restore." "This break from ruminating on stress may be why so many researchers have found 'doses of nature' to be effective in reducing both depression and anxiety." Campfires are often associated with leisure in nature, which is an important component of mental health, especially for those with mental illnesses, according to Cail. The expert emphasized that changing your environment can also "change your mind." "Unless your trauma took place in nature or around a fire, a change in environment like camping can break you out of that associative headspace, giving you a fresh outlook," she added.
The Guardian
09-07-2025
- General
- The Guardian
The new rules of small talk: how to nail every conversation, from first dates to weddings, parties and funerals
The cliche about small talk is that everybody hates it. The misapprehension is that it has to be small. In fact, conversational interactions are objectively good. 'The person who starts the conversation is in a better mood afterwards; they tend to feel more connected – and not just to the person they're talking to,' says Gillian Sandstrom, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Sussex. 'We all have a fundamental need to feel connected, valued and seen.' Even if small talk were not socially beneficial, society would demand it nonetheless – we are coming in to wedding season and we are all going to need some moves. However, we have this perception that there are rules, which haven't really changed since the 50s: keep things light and relevant, avoid sex, religion and politics, stay on safe territory, such as the weather. But anodyne topics tend to be boring and difficult to segue out of. Journalists are always good at talking to strangers and distant acquaintances – not because we are nice, as I have just discovered, through the work of Patrick King, the bestselling social interaction coach, but because conversation is infinitely easier when you have a 'social purpose', ie you need something: an opinion, an insight, a nugget of knowledge, 50p. So that is rule one: whatever you ask, imagine that you absolutely need to know the answer. Tom Bouchier Hayes, a broadcast journalist and a good friend, is famous for his small talk: he once met a guy in the sea and chatted for 40 minutes. He supplies rule two: 'If you reveal something expected of yourself, people tend to reciprocate. You can up the ante quite quickly by saying something different.' Beyond that, there are no rules – it all depends on the situation. My uncle said once that he preferred funerals to weddings; I thought he was going to say something deep and melancholy about the evanescence of love and the finality of death, but he actually ended: 'Just because I know more people.' Everyone dreads wedding small talk, because it tends to be insipid – on this happy day, of all days, no one wants to talk about things that matter – and the conversational drift is all towards matrimony ('When are you two going to get married?' 'Are you married?'). These are dead ends, because no couple will tell you straight off the bat that they are unhappy and there is nothing more boring than a happy couple. 'I don't tend to like talking to people in couples,' Bouchier Hayes says. 'They're often a bit cagey with what they reveal when their partner is listening. If they have a double act, it's often a bit thin.' Pick off one half of a couple. Sandstrom says: 'Small talk is building a bridge to get somewhere more interesting, so start with the thing you have in common, which will be the location or the event. At a wedding, my instinct is: 'Bride or groom?' and: 'How do you know them?'' Trust that the conversation will pivot from 'the groom is my cousin' to somewhere more interesting – 'my other cousin is in prison, but that's not the groom's brother, he's from a second aunt who fought in the French resistance'. 'There is some research showing that, when people talk to strangers, they enjoy it more when they go a little deeper,' says Sandstrom. 'We have this instinct that we should go bland and stick to the small talk, but that's not what anybody wants; we all want something more meaningful.' You have a huge amount in common – you work together – but you also have this giant power imbalance, which can be catastrophic for easy chat. Don't gabble; don't say something indiscreet in a panic; don't raise something that should be said in a meeting. I would proffer some low-stakes but helpful intelligence: 'Have you tried the new beetroot salad in the canteen? Well, you shouldn't – it tastes of earth.' Bouchier Hayes can go one better (more awkward) than a lift. 'I was changing in the loo, because I'd cycled in. It was very early. I'd taken my clothes off and one of the presenters came in while I was completely nude. He was a business reporter. I said: 'How are the markets this morning, Charles?'' Yvalia Febrer, a professor of social work at Kingston University in south-west London, describes the concept of the common third, a shared activity that can be one of the fastest shortcuts to intimacy. Doing something together breaks down reserve, upends hierarchy and generates its own priorities, vocabulary and, over time, humour. The common third was devised as a model between social workers and hard-to-reach young people, but it applies equally to korfball, or similar. Discuss what to do next with the ball and which opponent to annihilate; the rest will take care of itself. It depends on what you want from the date; if it's just a quick background check that they are not a weirdo and you are looking for something no-strings, you can flag that frankly. A conversation that starts: 'This is just me checking that you're lucid and reasonable in order that I may have sex with you inconsequentially,' will probably flow well. If you are looking for a more lasting relationship, take a look at the psychologist Arthur Aron's 36 questions. Don't do this conversation – it would sound forced to blurt out: 'If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?' Even though the list was designed not with romance in mind, but to create deeper conversations, it's now so associated with falling in love that, if you bring it up, it will be you who doesn't sound lucid or reasonable. But it's an interesting template for generating openness, vulnerability and self-reflection, which is to say a person's best self. I'm going to risk being self-referential, because I think this is useful: I often interview the people for the Guardian feature Dining across the divide, where people who hotly disagree meet to talk about their disagreement. It's striking how many of them say some variation of: 'It was much more like a date than [the other Guardian series] Blind date.' Politics is good. Disagreeing is good. 'As long as you're respectful and open about it,' Sandstrom says. 'But people are when they're talking to a stranger. If you're talking to someone you're really close to and they disagree on something fundamental, it feels really threatening. It's easier to stay open-minded with someone you don't know.' The particular difficulties of school-gate chat are: first, that people aren't interesting when they are talking about their children; and second, that people's insecurities are foregrounded by the environment. Maybe your kid is truly behaving badly (not mine – they never did); maybe you feel judged by the other parents; maybe you are in trouble with a teacher for forgetting something critical, which is an unpleasant and unfamiliar experience for an adult to have. I found my school-gate tribe by ceaselessly slagging off other, more judgmental mothers. I made some incredibly precious friends, way later in life than I expected (and when I wasn't looking for any). Some other people really hated me, but that is fine, too. This is a lot of people's worst nightmare, particularly if everyone else seems to know one another and people are moving in gaggles. Sandstrom says: 'I ran a workshop last week on how to have a conversation and one person came up with their own solution, which was to say something like: 'Hey, you guys seem like you're having a good time; can I join you?'' This is a tricky manoeuvre, because you can't go for the obvious – how do you know the host? You would be dragging the group back to base camp. Better to listen until the conversation suggests a question, then ask a follow-up – research shows that people like you more when you ask follow-up questions, because it shows you were listening. If their conversation is flagging, you can take the reins, but 'one anecdote is the right amount of anecdotes', says Bouchier Hayes. 'I've told my Diana [Princess of Wales] anecdote maybe a thousand times; it can be short, medium or long, depending on the audience.' (Here is the micro version: it was 1990, he was filming something in Kensington Palace, she was unhappily married to Prince Charles and she asked him out. He loves that story.) A corporate scene needs a corporate answer. King's Better Small Talk is good on how to build social purpose across a range of business gatherings. If it's a conference, ask someone what they thought of the keynote, but not too open-endedly – choose a specific point in the talk. (This may involve listening to the keynote.) If it's a buffet, ask someone where the forks are. Asking for help, even on the most trivial matter, signals humility and cooperation, which are qualities that get squashed in a professional environment. There are so many possible scenarios. If it's social and formal, see 'At a wedding', above. The most important thing is that you don't hang on your partner's arm and cramp his or her style – you need to take a good time with you. You won't have a very interesting answer to: 'How do you know the birthday boy?' so it's better to ask the first question yourself. If it's social and informal, talk about whatever you like – except, whatever you do, don't try to interrogate your partner's friends on his or her previous relationships. If the gang is stiff and the conversation runs dry, tell them Diana asked you out. If you are roaming about chatting unattended, could people think you are flirting with them? Sandstrom says not. 'When people are in an environment where flirting is a normal thing to do, like in a speed-dating event, they are still not great at recognising what flirting looks like. But outside those situations, that's just not where people's minds tend to go.' If it's a work event, it's fine – possibly better – to stick close to your partner; if they are junior, they will have all manner of coping bolt-ons to their personality that you may not know about; you want to avoid accidentally unmasking them as, say, not an Arsenal fan. If they are senior, they don't need you making a rebellious sub‑group with other plus-ones, or disclosing five things in a minute that they have never told anyone in 15 years. On a work away day with my first husband, I learned the international hand signal for 'dial it down'. OK, I can tell you what not to do. I sat next to a woman on a train who was reading Barbara Kingsolver's Demon Copperhead and I said: 'God, isn't it brilliant?' But she was reading it on her phone and millennials hate it when you look at their phones. So she said: 'I've only just started it,' in a 'move along, boomer' tone, then went to WhatsApp, to tell her friend what this incredibly intrusive train‑neighbour had just done, stopping in the middle of the message to check that I wasn't also reading that, except I was. Sandstrom talks on the tube all the time. Because there are so many external stimuli – the noise, the other people – a one‑to-one conversation creates a cocoon, which intensifies focus. People tend not to initiate on public transport because they fear rejection, but that is rarer than you may think. Sandstrom studied 200 people having conversations every day for a week across various environments and found that people were rejected only 13% of the time. The topic is easy – you talk about the dead person – but the age span of mourners is always huge. Don't be deterred. Sandstrom says: 'I did a study of cross‑generational conversations – one group of 25- to 30-year-olds, one of 65- to 70-year-olds, talking within their groups and across them. As with all the studies that I've done, people ended up enjoying their conversations far more than they expected to. They felt they learned more or were exposed to a different perspective more when they had cross-generational conversations. 'I think we give people more benefit of the doubt when they're different to us. And we're not that different. Everybody just wants to figure out how to live and be happy.' Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.
