Latest news with #socialnorms
Washington Post
21 hours ago
- General
- Washington Post
Miss Manners: Secure, confident spouse forbids wife to sit by anyone else
Dear Miss Manners: If I found my that my wife and I were to be seated separately at a party, I would move my place card or leave the party with her. There are two primary duties that married couples — and, arguably, dating couples — have that supersede their 'duty' to the host of a gathering: protection of and fidelity to their spouse, neither of which is served by splitting couples up. Parties are often not safe in either respect, especially when alcohol is involved.
New York Times
4 days ago
- General
- New York Times
Why Are Young Men Still Struggling?
To the Editor: 'What's the Matter With Men?,' by David French (Opinion newsletter, July 10), which recounts his conversation with the clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson, calls attention to the fact that males are doing poorly relative to females in many ways — academically, physically, psychologically and socially. Both ideological and technological causes for this lagging among boys are considered. While I think these factors are important, the larger problem is that while females have dramatically changed their position in society for the better, males have stagnated in an outmoded set of masculine norms. Mr. French seems to assume that masculinity is a given. Yet as a research psychologist focused on masculinity, I believe that masculinity is best thought of as a set of social norms, embedded in culture and a historical era. The current definition of masculinity is predicated on avoidance of stereotypical female characteristics, such as emotional self-awareness and expression, compassion and empathy — the very traits that account for a successful life. Ronald F. LevantCopley, OhioThe writer is a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron. To the Editor: David French and I both remember a time when men were openly assumed to be superior to women. The changes for the good that we have seen in our lifetimes in opportunities for women clearly mirror those of other repressed groups, but often progress comes with real growing pains. Today too many look at the difficulties faced by young boys and long to return to a time when white men relied on the ignorant security of superiority. To some, those simple answers remain seductive, but they come at a cost to girls, women and any group that has suffered the weight of oppression. Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
Daily Mail
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Billy Joel tells Bill Maher he's over what 'woke' people think of him
Billy Joel might go to extremes - but woke isn't one of them. The famed singer and pianist, 76, was the latest to appear on the Club Random podcast with Bill Maher, where he vented about the current state of politics and social norms while speaking about his new two-part HBO documentary, Billy Joel: And So It Goes. 'At this point… I'm inured to it,' the five-time Grammy winner, sitting in his home in front of his piano, told the outspoken media personality Maher, who has had his own ideological clashes with the left. The Bronx-born musical artist was asked about his take on contemporary culture - citing his 1976 track Angry Young Man - and didn't hold anything back. The song features the lyrics: 'I believe I've passed the age, of consciousness and righteous rage, I found that just surviving was a noble fight / I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view, and life went on no matter who was wrong or right.' Maher sang the lyrics and said he was sure the generation gap in play would inevitably lead to misguided takes on the issue. 'I feel like that is the message of the age, even though some people will hear that and say, "Look at these two a*******!"' The Piano Man artist added, 'Boomers.' Maher said that in contemporary culture, people on the left get upset when others don't blindly agree in their condemnation of President Donald Trump. Maher cited lyrics from Joel's 1982 song Goodnight Saigon, in reference to the Vietnam War. The song included the lines, 'And who was wrong? And who was right? It didn't matter in the thick of the fight.' Maher asked Joel, 'Do you still feel that way?' who responded that he did. Said Maher, 'And you don't care what they say about you – the woke?' The Just The Way You Are singer responded, 'At this point, no.' Joel said that when he doesn't agree with someone, he makes a point to try to understand where they are coming from in their respective viewpoints. 'I'm always trying to find out the other point of view,' Joel said. 'What's, you know, not my point of view - somebody else's point of view. 'Okay, I'd like to understand why they think that way.' Maher said he feels that it's 'so difficult in this day and age' to have those discussions. 'I mean it is what I am always trying to do on my show,' said Maher, a graduate of the Ivy League's Cornell University. 'It is, look, this is one safe space for everybody and I will take the heat from either – both sides. 'I mean I do feel like the left, who, ironically I'm more actually aligned with, is more snippy about it, and has a worse attitude about it, and makes me viscerally not like them more sometimes.' The chat between Joel and Maher also ventured into how the proliferation of social media has changed the landscape. 'People say things all the time on [social media] they would never say, if they had to say it to your face,' Maher told Joel. Joel replied, 'It just always surprises me how people, they express this hatred - it's like, you hate a musician because he wrote something?'
Independent Singapore
17-07-2025
- Independent Singapore
Tourist says foreigners often get ‘pushed around' in Singapore, asks locals, ‘Is this common?'
SINGAPORE: Known for its clean streets and strict rules, Singapore often leaves a strong impression on first-time visitors. But for one tourist, her recent trip raised questions about how foreigners are treated in everyday public spaces. In a post on Reddit's 'Ask Singapore' forum, the tourist shared that during her three-week stay in Singapore over the summer, she was pushed or spoken to rudely by strangers on at least four occasions, even though she was not in anyone's way. 'I got pushed and the people would say things like, 'Don't block the way,' she shared. 'In one [case], I was tying my laces on the corner behind a bench. In another a guy pushed me whilst I was standing on the MRT.' She also mentioned that her experience was not unique. 'I'm brown but my white friends said they experienced the same. Even my Filipino friend said it was the same,' she wrote. Seeking other insights, she asked the community, 'Have you noticed that foreigners get 'pushed around' in SG? Is this common amongst locals or exclusive to foreigners? I'm coming to SG for my year abroad in college next year so I was kinda curious.' 'When you are blocking the way, you get called out.' In the comments, many locals disagreed with the tourist's take, saying it's not something that only happens to foreigners. They explained that locals would speak up or 'push around' someone only if the person was genuinely blocking the way, regardless of their nationality. 'If they said don't block the way, then it means you are blocking the way,' one individual commented. 'Singapore is generally not a city designed for stopping. You'll have to keep moving when travelling around, or you'll block someone's way.' Another said, 'No. And nobody cares whether you're a foreigner, or local, or hybrid. When you are blocking the way, you get called out.' A third explained, 'Nah, you're probably standing in an area that is used for walking. A common thing I noticed onboard trains is that foreigners don't know the unspoken protocol of standing near the seats so you can comfortably fit two people in a column.' 'Most stand in the centre with the grab poles, resulting in 'lost' space to stand. I'm not saying that's the case for you, but the meaning of 'being out of the way' might not be so in actuality.' In other news, a man has turned to the online community for advice after his wife grew increasingly unhappy with his decision to stop working full-time, despite the couple being financially stable. In a post published on the r/SGHenry subreddit, the man, in his late 30s, explained that he and his wife have been married for five years and have been together for about a decade. Read more: 'Am I being selfish?': Man seeks advice as wife grows unhappy with his decision to stop working full-time Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)
Telegraph
15-07-2025
- General
- Telegraph
Our country's obsession with apologising is the root of all our problems
Nine times a day: that's how often the average Briton says 'sorry'. But according to linguists, who have analysed the contexts, our favourite word has 15 different uses, and only one of them is to express regret. No wonder foreigners are so confused. Commissioned by the language-learning site Babbel to dissect our use of the word, Karen Grainger – a lecturer in linguistics at Sheffield Hallam University – found that it had become as much a reflex and social lubricant as an apology, used at once to be polite, show willing, soften disagreement, ease awkwardness and navigate social norms. What she didn't add, but I believe, is that 'sorry' has become a national weakness for us: an Achilles' heel that may once have been charming, a little Hugh Grant-ish idiosyncrasy, but is now embarrassing, damaging, representative of everything we are doing wrong – and particularly dangerous in the era of cancel culture. I gave up on 'sorry' six years ago, after reading Sheryl Sandberg's bestselling self-help book Lean In. In the 'you go, girl' bible of its day, the American tech executive pointed out how much of an own goal starting emails with an apology was. For me, as someone who might as well have created an email template starting with 'I'm sorry', this prompted an epiphany. Sandberg was right. There was almost never a valid reason for saying 'sorry'. And rather than make the recipient like you more (which was presumably the point), it made you appear only weak in their eyes, subservient and lacking in self-respect. This is how we, as a country, must now appear to others. And what other conclusion could they come to when they read about the self-flagellation classes we are giving children as young as five at school? How rather than teaching them to be proud of Britain's achievements, we seem to be intent on filling their heads with colonial guilt? Then there are the museums – some of the most impressive in the world – filled with elaborate apologias for past crimes, real and imagined. Our politicians may have a great deal to apologise for, but can you imagine any other prime minister making a bombastic speech on the most important issue of the day – only to apologise, just weeks later, for using language that supposedly echoed that of Conservative minister Enoch Powell?
